Monday, December 31, 2012

Lessons from 2012

  • Sometimes even our best laid plans don't work out
  • There are things we will never have the answers to.
  • Life is about taking chances, it's hardly ever black or white
  • Never give relationship advice no matter how well meaning. 
  • Happiness is priceless and worth chasing after.
  • When you have fallen completely flat on your face, there's no where else to go but back up
It's interesting some of the things i have discovered this year. The craziest of all is a relative who is resentful of the fact that i am going to be a doctor. I didn't realize being in med school was something to get a big head over, or being a doctor automatically means i think i am something. It's quite sad actually, quite sad. When i got into med school, this same person said something to the effect of me not being admitted into med school based on merit and i was a bit shocked and confused at the same time cos i didn't understand what she was getting at and why she would say that. I overlooked it. Now it has gotten worse, always alluding to the fact that i think i'm bigger than myself cos i am in med school. If i was a different kind of person, i would say she was jealous because she wanted to go to med school herself, but i won't think that way. If only she knew that medicine is a big headache and nothing to be pompous about, but that's her cross to bear. I am leaving all that madness behind in 2012.

I need things to be different. I need to feel better physically and mentally. I need to get myself back and i can't be worrying about crazy people. I have to decide what to do with my life in 2013, my goal is to graduate med school and get into residency and everything i do in 2013 is going to be geared towards that. I don't have time for nonsense.

Happy New Year to all my blog readers. You guys are awesome as always. To my "friends" who read this blog as a way to check up on me when my number hasn't changed, God is watching you in 3D.

I am so glad 2012 is over!!!!

Sami Yusuf - Asma Allah

Dear Self

Pat on the back for making it through 2012 with your sanity intact. 2012 was not a fun year and I know you are glad to see it end. 2013 is shaping up to be a toughie but you are tougher and you will get through all the huddles that are set to come your way. Remain focused and disciplined, take the lessons you have learned from 2012 and apply them to your life, always remember to keep your head up because the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strongest.

Be cognizant of the fact that you are not perfect and will continue to make mistakes and when that happens, take steps to right your wrongs, learn from it and move on. Keep the people who love and support you close and don't worry about the rest. Do not depend on anyone for your happiness, that will always be a mistake. Remember, if someone is not adding positively to your life, they do not need to be in it. Embrace light, seek happiness, pursue grace as these will carry you far and help you have a peaceful life.

You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it and where there is no struggle there is no strength. You are a better person for it. I am so proud of you. I admire your strength, courage and the ability to persevere where others would quit. Keep pushing because the end is in sight.

I love you so much and i wish you the best 2013 has to offer.

Go get 'em girl!

M. Sting

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

19 things Single people hate being told

I saw this in somewhere online. Can't remember. 

1. It happens when you're not looking. "This is just bull. Some people find people when they're looking; some don't. You're not doing anything wrong by going out and meeting people." —Beth
 2. There are plenty of fish in the sea. "I dated a guy whose last name was Fish. People just had a BLAST with that one." —Kelly
 3. So, why are you single? "I generally dislike this question. I mean honestly, if I knew why, I don't think I would be single right now, now would I?!" —Erica
4. You're too picky. "This may be true, but it feels like I'm getting criticized for my taste, vision, and close-mindedness — when I'm already down." —Sarah
5. You'll find the right person for you. —Kelly
6. He's out there. —Kelly
7. It was just bad timing. "Like it's so easy to dismiss a guy on such an emotionless and objective reason." —Taryn
8. Just have fun with it! "Um, don't tell me how to date in my thirties when you got married at 24." —Maya
9. Have you tried online dating? "Duh!" —Elisa
10. He just wasn't the right guy for you. "I know! That's what I'm complaining about!" —Elisa
11. Well, when my boyfriend and I first got together… "Wait, I still want to talk about me." —Elisa
12. When the time is right, you will meet someone. —Betsy
13. Wow, I wish I were single and in your shoes! "Really?! I'm pretty sure you CAN be single if you actually want to be. That there is an attainable dream, so if you aren't messing with me right now out of pity (which I suspect you are), please go for it!" —Kim
14. Your turn next [at weddings]. —Natlondon, via Twitter
15. It will happen when you least expect it. —dlegas05, via Twitter
16. Some guy is going to come along and ruin your career/life plans. "I am 32 and no one has ruined the last 10 years of plans." —frolicblog, via Twitter 1
7. But you're so pretty! Why don't you have a boyfriend? "There's just no graceful way to answer that." —earnesteats, via Twitter
18. It just wasn't meant to be. "Any of these platitudes are exponentially more annoying when coming from the mouths of smug marrieds." —Reberoodle, via Twitter
19. Sure, my guy rescues kids from abusive homes, donated my sister a kidney, and picks up fresh flowers for me daily on his way home from work, but will he QUIT IT with the sports on TV already? "Single people just hate to be complained to about petty relationship stuff. If you do this, I'm not going to want to hang out with you. (In fact, maybe I'll call your boyfriend and ask him if he wants to grab a beer and watch the Yankees game?)" —Kim

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Awww....Verastic Engagement

I just can't stop cheesing anytime i watch this video, which is three times and counting. Vera is the reason i blog today and i don't even think she knows it. I didn't know anything like blogging/blogger existed before i read a post she put on where she talked about blogging and she linked her blog. I spent hours devoring this girls' post. She was funny! as hell. Then i started blog hopping through her blog list and discovering more Nigerian blogs. Jan 23rd, 2007 another Nigerian blogger was born, all thanks to verastic. This video is the first time i have watched her speak and it was weird. Heck, she refused to show us her face until this year (can't remember exactly). I have talked to her on the phone/co-hosted on her show and listened to her talk on her radio show, but seeing her speak was brain had to make the connection. LOL. I am happy for her and share in her joy. Funmi was by her side as usual....I love that friendship.

Mikki i saw you too o. Looking all cute and stylish. I wish i could rock that hairstyle.

Anyway, congratulations vera. I told you, you were the next big thing and it's going to happen.

P.S what happened to that book you were writing? You think say I don forget?

P.P.S. Igwe and I have the same birthday, Oct 29, so that automatically makes him a great guy. Only special people were born on Oct 29. Just saying. I might be biased but it's the truth.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Olokun's Friend

I've had this thought in my head for some time now that just won't go away. I know people don't generally like debating about religion which is fine, but i think the minute you stop asking questions, you stop growing and you might as well roll over and die.

So my question is

Why is Christianity better than our African traditional religion?
Why does paganism have a negative connotation?
Why does God mean something different from god?

But the first question just won't leave my mind. Were we just a bunch of lost heathens doomed to hell until Christianity was introduced to us?

I don't understand religion 100%. Has anyone ever stopped to question what they were doing and why? Would you be a christian if you were not born into it? PROBABLY NOT. I've had friends say "I was born a catholic and will die a catholic". What does that tell you? I cannot imagine being a catholic, yet they are Christians.

For the first 9 yrs of my life i was a Muslim, simply because i was born into it. If my father was into religion, i would probably still be a Muslim, if not in practice, at least in name. I "became" a christian when my mother decided she wanted to start going to church. No, she did not convert. She stopped going to church because she married a muslim. She never went to a mosque but we celebrated sallah and our uncles and aunties and cousin were free to come pray at our house. I still remember the little plastic kettles used for washing up before praying and my brother would pray with them or go through the motions. He was really little, so i know he wasn't actually praying. There was a lot of hoopla surrounding her re-christianization including threats of divorce but eventually things settled down and we were christians.

I attended the same church until i left Nigeria. Now that i am no longer a part of that church and can view things objectively, i will be frank to tell you that that church was 50% church, 50% native doctor. I'm not kidding or exaggerating, but of course everything was covered under the cloak of christianity and the bible. It's so EASY to be brain washed especially when you are part of something. You divorce yourself of the ability to think independently. Things that other people would see as crazy becomes the norm for you cos that's how things are done. The basis for christianity is the bible, so why are we doing things that are clearly not bible based and why is no one asking questions?

I should gist you guys about my church. That's my christmas project.

I barely know anything about African traditional religion but that has been put on my to do list. I think it's important to learn so if nothing else, i can defend my choices. At this point i have a very ambivalent relationship with christianity. I could take it or leave it. I suspect i will always be a mix match kind of girl. Please don't worry about my salvation, it's personal, abi? Channel all your negative thoughts if any into praying for me. That's WJWD.

Our neighbors were olokun worshippers. Their dance is some serious business.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

I'll Be There For You

Sting's Motivational 101

"The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It's the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.
- Napoleon Hill, author.

 "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."
- Khalil Gibran

"People who are optimistic see a failure as due to something that can be changed so that they can succeed next time around, while pessimists take the blame for the failure, ascribing it to some characteristic they are helpless to change." 
- Daniel Goleman, is an author, psychologist, and science journalist. 

"Our capacity to make peace with another person and with the world depends very much on our capacity to make peace with ourselves."
- Thich Nhat Hanh, is a Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist now based in France.

Best Wedding Shot

I have seen better shots but google images is not cooperating tonight, but you get the idea.
I needed a little distraction, hence this. 

If you are planning a wedding, take note. I think this is a great wedding shot.

My view

I am just picturing this tree decorated with christmas lights. 
It's the simple things. 

I can't believe it still hasn't snowed this year. 
I'm just begging for one more week, then it can snow when i'm gone. 
I am thankful
Like i said, it's the simple things.

Now, if only i had a maid.

Saturday, December 15, 2012


We have all heard of the saying "Don't have expectations and you won't be disappointed" or something along those lines. I think that is a very unrealistic statement that is founded on bullshit. Really. It's one of those things that is supposedly "common sense" but is so easy to say and impossible to do. I believe relationships are built and develop based on expectations. Not just romantic relationship, any relationship at all. Parents, siblings, friends, workers. If i hire a housemaid, i would have expectations of her and vice versa. We all have expectations from people but they are different based on the type of relationship you have with that person.

When you come up with a list of things/qualities you want in a guy, what do you think that is? In any relationship we feel there are certain things that should go without saying, those are expectations. I get annoyed at my siblings sometimes because i feel they are not doing what i expect them to do. We have never talked about those things, I think they should just know. Expectations become a problem when they start becoming unrealistic. For example, I have always had a problem with girls who expect heaven and earth from guys. He is not your father. Now, if you expect those same things from your father, that would be appropriate because he is your father, that's what's he's there for.

I think instead of saying have no expectations from people, you should tweak your expectations as your relationship with that person evolves. You could lower it or increase it depending on the situation.  If someone continues to disappoint you, then it's only wise to stop expecting much from that person or after watching enough naija movies, it's okay to lower your expectations regarding the ending of a lot of good movies. It's almost like the director gets tired and says let's end this thing, therefore you get a good movie, crappy ending. It's okay to lower your expectations so you won't be disappointed.

I really do think it's very unrealistic not to have expectations from our significant others, close friends and family, we are not built that way and people should stop giving that advice. I think if you want to say, don't have any expectations from this particular person based on XYZ, then that's valid. It's not a blanket statement that should be used for everyone.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

How much time?

Today we had to tell a patient he had 6 months to live. It was tough.  Haven't you ever wondered how doctors come up with those numbers? In this case, since he is my patient i was assigned the task of getting the numbers. There's no magic calculator, it's all research. I had to go dig in the literature and i didn't have to do much digging because we already knew the prognosis for what he has is grim but we just wanted numbers.

He has End stage liver disease due to alcoholic cirrhosis, acute kidney injury due to acute tubular necrosis and hepatorenal syndrome (long story short, your kidneys stop working because your liver is not working). All that added together, based on research gives you a 50% survival rate at 1 month and 20% survival rate at 6 months. If you use his MELD score (which is used to prioritize people for liver transplant), his prognosis is 31% survival in 3 months. He is not eligible to be put on the transplant list because he only stopped drinking in Sept when his ascites started and his urine drug screen was positive for cocaine less than a month ago. You have to have been clean for 6 months, to even be considered to be put on the transplant list.

So we (or rather my senior) told him that he had 6 months to live. In reality it could be much less but my attending decided we go with 6 months because it's easier for patients to grasp that better than 3 months. At least that's what i understood. If his kidneys recover which is a possibility, he could have longer. Unfortunately once your liver is cirrhotic or damaged there's no chance of it recovering on its own. Either way, things don't look great for this man.

It was tough watching his reaction but i think even though we gave him numbers today, it was easier than the first time we told him things were not looking great 2 days ago, cos then he started crying and saying how much he wants to live and he is ready to fight. Today, you could see him struggling to hold himself together and look for any ray of hope. The one thing i have learned is that you always want to let your patients have hope, definitely not lie to them but let them retain some sort of hope while being as realistic as possible. I think my senior did a great job and i learned so much just watching her go through things with him.

Watching people suffer doesn't make me feel better about my lot in life instead it makes me want to do the best with the time i have that i am healthy and able to do things because i have no clue what tomorrow has in store for me, but it's hard. I'm struggling. Everyday is a struggle. 2012 has not been my year.

On a brighter note, my mom turns 60 tomorrow and she could easily pass for a 50 yr old.  I remain thankful.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Recipe for Friendship

It's one thing to say or think you are a good friend, it's another to actually be a good friend. I don't think i am a good friend. In fact, i know i am not a good friend and have let a lot of friendships fall to the side or should i say life happened. I don't have a level head or a small mouth and my memory is pretty good. I guess that puts me in the bottom of the good friend pile. However, the one thing i know is that if I consider you my friend, i would actually care about you and go above and beyond to be there for you if you need me.  It's really not what you say but what you do that matters in the end. I remain thankful that God blessed me with sisters. Friends come and go but family is forever......even the crazy ones.

Expectations are like the devil's agbada. You could get lost in its folds and probably suffocate in it - Madame Sting.

Instructions for Life

Simple Speak - Do not by Grace Pullen

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Secret of a Happy Marriage...... told to me today unsolicited by my 89 yr old manic patient

Only two things
  1. Be very tolerant because no one is perfect
  2. Have a bad memory 
Dude is a trip and a half. He gave me the advice anyway even though i told him i wasn't married. Oh and he told my intern and senior who he assumed were married to each other to have lots of sex everywhere.  

Sunday, December 9, 2012


So elegant, graceful, chic and timeless. I fell in love with lace last summer. There's something about it that's so sophisticated and girly. I am starting to like girly these days.

I just decided I want a lace wedding dress. That's half the work. Am i the only one who has no desire to wear a strapless wedding dress?

 Anyhoo, it's going to be a long next couple of weeks. I have my eyes on the 21st. 
Hey to all my new subscribers and my mostly silent readers. Much love. 
Have a good week guys and don't look for trouble.
P.S. Make no assumptions. Those are bad for you, every time. I promise :)

I have been in this Country too Long

I need to wash my white coat but i don't need to do laundry. I just need to wash one white coat. I have two white coats, one medium and one small. I don't like the medium cos it's too big and i feel like i look dowdy in it. I wear it anyway and just fold the sleeves, but i have an OSCE on wednesday and it helps my confidence to at least look sharp, so i would like to wear my small white coat. But it's dirty cos i've worn it all week.

I brought it home yesterday and left it on the chair with every intention of hand washing it. I've been looking at it all day and believe it or not, i have been very reluctant to wash it by hand. I'm scared i won't do a good job of it and it won't be clean. This is what America has done to me. I'm trying to think of anything i have hand washed besides underwear since i've been here and i am drawing a blank. Oh, i hand washed some socks a couple of weeks ago cos i ran out and didn't have time to do laundry. Even underwear i hand wash, maybe once a year, if that.

We didn't have a washer and dryer in Nigeria AND i went to boarding school, so i have lots of experience with hand washing clothes.In primary school my mom paid someone to wash our clothes but secondary that shit stopped. I used to hate washing sheets, jeans and my mother's wrappers where you had to make sure you washed the white edges. It was horrible. Thank God those days are over.

I just thought it was interesting that i am now scared/reluctant to hand wash. Maybe it's cos it white. I dunno. I still want a maid though. The older i get the more i hate housework. Good thing is i still enjoy cooking, hopefully that doesn't turn into a chore too.

Ok bye. Books acalling.


I actually ended up not presenting the patient. I told my Senior i wasn't ready to present and she asked the intern to present. Got off at 12noon and have Sunday off. Happiness!!!!

 Title of the book is Woman Habits by Shanel Cooper-Sykes.

 11 Ways This Book Help You Attract Men, Money and Happiness Unlike Anything You've Seen Before (Preview 11 of the 50 Habits)

  1.  HOW TO WEAR STILETTOS) -- 99% of women wear them wrong! Get expert tips to wear, stand and walk in stilettos like a supermodel. Plus, the secret "muscle" (not your calf muscle) you must use to ROCK stilettos with fierce and POWERFUL look. (Habit #27 
  2. How to Reinvent Yourself - Keep the focal point on you by transforming yourself with NEW wardrobe and mindset changes. (Habit #11) 
  3. How to take care of your vagina (Habit #30) Right and wrong way to wash your vagina, exfoliate your vagina and how to tell if "something" is wrong. Think using soap and water is the correct way? Think again! Let It Go -- 
  4. how to let go of things that are holding you back and keeping you from moving forward (Habit #5)
  5. How to Wear Bras and Shape Your Breasts (Habit #19) -- Instantly transform your breasts to look full, sexy, attractive by using these simple tips. 
  6. How to "pee" in public restrooms (Habit #32) -- Important tips on how to use public restrooms. 
  7. The Vagina Workout -- Take pride in being super tight and right by learning how to give the vaginal "death grip" that brings men ultimate sexual pleasure. (Habit #35) 
  8. How to be "submissive" (and gain power) (Habit #42) -- Attract more bees with honey, resolve more conflicts, solve more problems, be more flexible and powerful as a woman when you learn this secret.
  9. Act like a lady, think like a woman (Habit #45) --Why you should be a lady in everything you do, say, think and do. 
  10. How to protect your relationship (Habit #43) - What confident women do to keep their relationship in A+ shape mentally and emotionally. 
  11. How to perform "oral sex" -- as unladlylike as this may seem... I'll reveal a technique called "UNHINGE" that gives you jaw-dropping, deep and wide capabilities to BLOW his mind. (Habit #47) and many more (39 other habits)
This lady is not playing. I love her already. 

I think Rev Run is the shiznit! I love the guy. Tyrese....meh, but i love me some Rev Run and his wisdom.
  • Want a great relationship, Ask questions. NEVER assume anything.  Assumptions are the temites of relationships
  • Ladies: When a man says he loves you but doesn't act like it, ONLY believe what he does, not what he says. 
  • Single ladies stay happy and have fun. Just because you are boylesss, doesn't mean you have to be joyless. 
I have books to read, so i can't search for more, just search #manology on twitter. 

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Having a good relationship

 My apologies to anyone who came to read about how to keep a man in my last post. You really should have known better. I have nothing. LOL. I'm still trying to figure that out myself.

esmile4ena commented on my last post....

hmmmmm. You serious abi u dey joke? What I know is the above just might work. Truth is 4 out of 5 times the most hardworking wins. I have been best man and compere enough times to knowquite often when it comes down to picking a woman, guys usually pick the one who takes care of them the most. U doubt me? That "runs girl" in uni actually does wash and clean for her boyfriend. So when you hear "na ashawo first dey marry" know it is because "ashawo" holds tight to her man and believes she is not good enough and works extra hard and railroads the man to the altar and the couple gets thrown "white rice" as confetti (oyibo culture. if you throw rice wey people never chop for Africa, na quarrel you dey find) How is that for "white on rice?

He was the only one who thought my tips could be valid. Does he have a point? I am also very curious as to what it takes to "keep" a man aka have a good relationship. Of course, it takes two to tango and both parties have to want to work on it, but what can a woman do? What are the basic things men want?

People say men are like babies. How true is that? I would love to have someone cater to me too, so i see how a man might enjoy that kind of treatment, but does that guarantee a good relationship? I really would love some insight on this topic.

There's this one man like that that i'm trying to keep, so help a sista out. In case you are wondering, his name is Jesus. He could be jewish or Mexican but that's for me to know and for you to guess.

Ore-Oluwa followed with a post on How to get the Man of your dreams. LOL. Getting cool with mom doesn't always work o.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

5 foolproof ways to keep a Man

  1. Be on your guy like white on rice. Call him all the time to check up on him. You have to be the first person he talks to in the morning and the last person he talks to at night. You have to know where he is and what he is up to at all times of the day. Guys like it when you don't give them breathing space it shows how much you care. 
  2. Guys like a strong (African) woman. If they talk one, you talk two. Let him know this is the 21st century and nobody can be the boss of you. Make sure he knows you are both the head and the neck. Show him how much of a fighter you are, that way he knows when push comes to shove, you will ride or die for the relationship. 
  3. Mold and shape him into exactly how you want him to be. Men are hard to find these days so take the best one you can find even though he might not be exactly what you want. If you want a preppy guy and you see a ruffian who knows how to speak good English, no worries. Just spruce him up, it's all about helping him advance as a person and guys love that. Besides, they love when you dress them and tell them how to act. Just don't do it (too much) in public. 
  4. Tell him what you want him to do, over and over and over again. He will thank you for it as he is aware of his limitations which include a short attention span or just plain laziness. You just have to keep reminding him. You wouldn't do it if you didn't love him and he knows that. Some people might call it nagging, but what do they know? 
  5. If you do all of the above and he stops answering your calls and starts avoiding you. Make sure you keep calling. 10 calls in one minute, is that the best you can do? Persistence is the key. Show up at his house, job, church, mother's house unannounced. How else would he know you really love him and can't imagine not having him in your life?

When you hold on tight to someone because you really love them and you can't imagine life without them, sometimes you end up holding too tight and choking the life out of it. Release and stand back. What's yours is yours. Relax.

"We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still." 
- Mignon McLaughlin

Pop quiz

Who can tell me what UAF means? Like some attendings like to say, i'm really asking you to read my mind o_O

 On a good note, that was SOME sleep. I feel like a human being again . It was all kinds of awesome plus i slept on the couch cos i was hoping to wake up to study. I did in fact wake up (multiple times) but only to reset my alarm. There was no studying done and i know nothing about my patient. I was on call yesterday which means i stayed in the hospital until 8.30pm, didn't really get a chance to finish my lunch. Got home at almost 9pm, reheated my "lunch", struggled to finish it, lamented about my unhappiness to an unlucky friend and went to sleep.

Oya, UAF, what does it stand for? It's just a little something that crossed my mind yesterday.

UAF= Ugly as Fuck

Saturday, December 1, 2012

How to leave someone and other things.....

HOW TO LEAVE SOMEONE -- by Shanel Cooper-Sykes (Find her on facebook)

First, understand that some people are emotionally blind, deaf or lazy. You are not a surgeon so stop trying to FIX them. Second, decide that YOU are important. Third, while you do that, pack your things emotionally and physically. Fourth, realize that nothing you DID, SAID, DO or SAY will make THEM see how important you are. Don't be afraid to hurt, you will heal. Don't feel guilty, they don't. END so that You can BEGIN with someone who can return your love. Life is NOT A DVR... stop rewinding and living in the past!!! PRESS PLAY!!!

"I shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me. Or I can be lost in the maze. My choice. My responsibility. Win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny." -Anon

One of the most powerful quotes i have seen in recent times. I am actually going to make a poster out of it and read it everyday.

 "Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it." - Oprah Winfrey

If you haven't subscribed to the daily love, you should. I get a lot of inspirational quotes from there.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Exercise in Puerility Vol 2

I will be watching this with my niece in December. Can't wait!

Apparently, clinical years of med school is all about showmanship, 
 Thanks for the feedback. 
I have one month left of this rotation to turn things around. 
I was PRAISED by my attending today. 
I felt like i was walking on clouds. 
That has never happened before. 
So this is how you play this game? 
Na wa o.......

Exercise in Puerility.....

.....or not

Finally figured out a way to black out stuff. 
Good stuff. 
It's 1.30am, i have to be up in 4 hrs. 
I need to go sleep, mi amigas. 

P.S. I did send that pic. 
Hand of a Jedi master. 
Good night!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Cos i don't want to study

I'm not the only one who hates being in med school. We are many. Friends who i never thought would complain about hating it or haven made a mistake are complaining now and it helps to know that i'm not the only one feeling this way. I think it's the way the system is set up. Just look into the depression rates for med students and physicians. This is not a normal way to live and it doesn't get better not anytime soon. I'm hearing about doctors who gradate and work part time. I don't blame them.

I just need to find me a rich husband to make that dream a reality. Any takers?

If you see my hair ehn? It's shameful walking around with this thing on my head. I miss my permed hair, but i've had to braid since May cos my hair fell out due to stress. Med school will not kill me, i swear. I get this whole weekend off aka golden weekend *rolls eye* I will however be grateful and not look a gift horse in the mouth.

I don't like internal medicine. What will i end up doing with my life? Only time will tell. I'm hanging in there. I appreciate the encouragement and support from you guys. If only you guys can find me a sugar daddy, then all will be well with the world :)

I'm trying to buy my ticket for my waka this christmas. All i can say is Gotdamn! But i refuse to spend christmas alone. We are supposed to start back on the 2nd of Jan, that means it's to be traveling on new years day. You see why i said this shit is cray cray.

There's the older transporter (move patients from place to place) at the hospital that i see pretty frequently, sometimes i say hi, sometimes i don't. It depends on the way the sun is shining that day. He says hi too, usually good morning. Anyway, this morning i say him coming cos i happened to glance backwards, i was in front of a patients room using the computer. As he passes by he actually said good morning to me and i responded. Then he greeted someone else, and i could pick out the Nigerian accent. So when he walked by me, i asked if he was Nigerian and he said yes. I told him i picked it up when he said good morning, and he said "but i said good morning to you too". I said i didn't pick out the accent then. He asked if i was Nigerian and i said yes, asked where i was from and all that jazz. Now, i feel like i have to be greeting him properly, with the Sir and all that. My upbringing is bigger than me in cases like this and i just have to show him respect in that way.

Which brings me to something that just occurred to me last week. We were in lecture and i brought out my bowl of fruit and was eating. One of my classmates jokingly put out his hand like he wanted some but refused when i really wanted to give him. It just reminded me of how in Nigeria it is (or was?) unheard of to be eating and not offer the people around you. I remember being in the dorms and having something to eat but not wanting to share but since people were around, i wouldn't eat cos it was just wrong to bring out food and not offer people, who might take you up on your offer. It was something i had to adjust to when i came here too, having people eat so comfortably in front of me without offering (not like i would have accepted), it was just weird. I guess being here for so long has eroded that cos i can eat in front of anyone without it even occurring to me to offer them to share my food. Nobody offers anyone anything, unless family or close friends if that.

This is the only thing that made me laugh all week. He is so exotic looking. I don't think he's a typical handsome guy but he has grown on me and now i think he is gorgeous. He is gay in case anyone is interested since i can't have him.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Butt grabber

So we have this patient who has a reputation of grabbing nurses' butts. When i first heard about him, I asked if he was an old man cos i figured he might have some undiagnosed dementia or something. Why else would you be grabbing people's butt. Anyhoo, i had never seen the patient cos i don't follow him and the attending we have now likes to do computer rounds, so we don't go from room to room as is usually done. From the patients name i thought he was chinese or something. It's a 3 letter last name, so it was a random assumption not that the name actually sounds asian.

Anyway, yesterday my resident asked me if i had met this patient and i said no. She asked me to go see him that's he is very nice and sweet and was proud of her cos she's a doctor and that he says his daughter is just a pharmacist and he wants her to go to med school. I was like what does he mean, she's just a pharmacist, na beans? Then she's like,  you should go talk to him, he's Nigerian. I was like o! Meanwhile, i had forgotten the butt grabbing tales.

I went to talk to him, he was very pleasant. Very Nigerian, father like and all that.Good conversation talking about Nigeria and all that. Never in a million years would i associate him with butt grabbing, so i didn't even remember all through the conversation, until today when someone mentioned it again. I was just like, why, ehn?! Little daddy pervert and he's not that old, at least i don't consider 72 to be that old.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Erosive Westernization

Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now. When we face our challenges with faith, prepared to learn, willing to make changes, and if necessary, to let go, we are demanding our power be turned on."
- Iyanla Vanzant, Yoruba priestess

  I love how she is a Yoruba priestess. I would love to hear how that came about, meanwhile we as Africans are running away from our traditional religions and beliefs. I think it's quite interesting.  A friend said something to me that just turned on a light bulb in my head. None of his siblings including himself have English names. They all have Edo first and middle names. I was wondering about that and he told me his father was against giving English names and he asked me if I had ever seen a white man give their child an African name. Simple question that blew my mind cos I had never thought about it that way. I'm sure if you look hard enough you will find one white person with an African name, but we all agree that's not the norm.

I had always thought, African name first, English middle name. My sister wanted to give her first child an English first name and African middle name, her husband fought against that and he got his way.  I am now of the opinion that my kids will not be getting an English name. We are slowly but surely losing our culture guys. I think it's a shame and one of the greatest atrocities committed against me by my parents that I cannot speak either of my parents language. None of us kids can. That is a part of my heritage that has been lost forever and I can't pass it on. I think it's a shame, really.

  This post was supposed to be about the quote but it veered off.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving Dinner

Forgive the crappy pictures

Second time i am eating pizza this year if i remember correctly. I went to Walmart to get some stuff and saw it. I decided what the hell, i have nothing to eat anyway. I finished this whole pizza by myself, all the while thinking 310 calories not bad. Only after it was all said and done did it dawn on me that it was 310 calories per serving and i had no clue how many servings it was. There were 4 servings! Oh wells, it's in my tummy now. Whatchugon do?

I wasn't supposed to get today off and a lot of my classmates didn't. I got home last night and my resident had emailed me that the clerkship director said if i get today off then i have to work on saturday my regular off day, but she was going to let me have both days off. You don't understand! Tears came to my eyes, literally. I needed that mental break. Shit is going down and i have been dealing with a lot. You don't have to be exceptionally bright to figure out i have been depressed and everyday is harder. I used to have off days where i would sleep it off and feel better the next day, but that hasn't happened this time. I'm almost at the point where i think i might need meds cos this isn't working out.

I pick and chose what i share on this blog and instead of pretending like everything is fine, i just have to be honest and say everything is not fine. I am depressed and 99% of it has to do with med school. I think i am burnt out plus i am also dealing with some issues. I literally have a yr and half left and i want to finish. This is still what i want to do, i just wish my experience was easier. I got a bad (i think) evaluation from the attending who made me cry. Luckily, i had gone to the clerkship coordinator about some concerns i had and that opened a can of worms and i am to meet with the clerkship director to figure out a way forward and get feedback. If i hadn't said anything, nothing would have been done for me and i wouldn't have found out anything.

I am trying hard to get my mind right and in good spirits and i know to get the help that i need. I drank coffee for the first time in my life today and even though it was the mildest form, it still gave me a headache. It made me feel more alive for a couple of hours though.

Anyway, happy thanksgiving. I remain thankful for my family. I feel blessed for their support and we are all alive to answer present. That is the greatest blessing. I am thankful for the very few friends i have who love and put up with me and support me. I am also thankful for still being in school. I worked for it, i am still working for it, it's killing me but i will make it.

P.S I hate these kind of posts which is why i try to avoid them. It makes me feel exposed and vulnerable. I am supposed to be a strong African woman.

Monday, November 19, 2012

The world is coming to an end

I feel like i just went through a hurricane. Hurricane madness. It's so hard to fight with someone who is close to you. Words hurt more and you care more which means you feel bad more when the madness has ended. God cursed me with a explosive temper and anger that does not last. What kind of nonsense is that?

I fought with Dr. Sushi tonight. Not a physical fight. We were like too mad women fighting over nothing. Anger is not a good thing and it's not being an easy year for either of us. I think the world is coming to an end because we never fight and it was ugly. I still feel bad even though we made up.

It seems that someone won an award. Best student blogger, I wonder who that is. To be honest, i am so tickled and pleased to see that something that i initiated, has grown bigger than i imagined and people take it so seriously and it means something to them. I think that is awesome. I read a post from @tilola (i hope i got that right) about blogsville. Those were the good ol days. I think things are different now, or maybe i'm different cos i don't have as much free time to read and leave comments so i feel removed from the whole scene.

The presentation i spent all evening preparing for yesterday, the fellow who asked me to do it, didn't show up today. He stopped by the workroom after rounds to say he hadn't forgotten about me, then never came back. If i talk now.................

I need some prozac or zoloft in my life......
.......or maybe some adderall.

I'm over life.....It's so 2012

Sunday, November 18, 2012

I hate med school

I think the absolute best thing about me and the reason why i am still relatively sane is my ability to laugh at myself. I actually had a good chuckle when i played this back. I sound like a hopeless goat. 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Mr and Mrs. Vibrator

I had a thousand and one things to do today and i only got two major things done even though i didn't play at all. I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to do next as i'm just a couple of hours away from bed time and i already bone tired.
  1. Cook, 
  2. watch a naija movie
  3. write 2 H &P's
  4. Pick a topic and prepare for my presentation on Monday
  5. look up my patient and see what happened with her today, read up on her stuff
  6. pick up new patients and read up on them
  7. just take a shower and go to bed
  8. blog
So i'm blogging. I've got so much going on right now, it's scary. I used to be able to write about what's really going on with me and what's on my mind, but that hasn't happened for years. This blog is no longer that kind of space. I am very mindful of what goes on here. I was in a friend's neck of the woods for a short min and he was surprised i didn't write it on my blog. He actually said he thought he would know everything that was going on with me by reading my blog. I thought that was hilarious.

I watched the much praised Mr. and Mrs. naija movie yesterday. I didn't like it. I thought it was unrealistic. Some of the things Nse said towards the end were silly. I'm not sure what message they were trying to pass across to women. Stay and clean up the mess, men are babies, fight for what you want..........I guess it all depends on the context. I don't think people should give up on their marriages easily, but i think the movie was silly and not what i was expecting. JMO.

I didn't know nigerian men were against vibrators? At least that's what the movie led me to believe. Is that the general consensus?

It's official, all the fight has left me. I have no desire to engage in any kind of altercation with anyone. I will call you out on your bullshit, but to engage, i just don't have power. It's actually a physical thing, like i literally don't have the strength or interest to engage. Med school is really taking a toll on me. I'm just trying to get through this.

Thanksgiving is next week, i will be at work. I don't really care though.

I am thankful for my family. I miss them so much and just want to be home to snuggle my 5 month old niece with her chubby cheeks. I saw her today on skype. She's so beautiful with her small eyes.

I think i'm going to pick a topic for my presentation, take a shower and call it a night. I am experiencing unexplained extreme fatigue.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Richard Cory

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
'Good-morning,' and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich - yes, richer than a king -
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Bad day

Life is hard
Med school is harder
An attending brought me to tears today.
Real tears.....
Holding back tears during rounds tears....
Crying in the hallway while talking to the NP tears....
Burn out, tired tears......
I feel so dumb and inadequate tears.....
Med school might have been a bad decision tears.....
I am so embarrassed and humiliated tears....
I need to remember physiology tears.....
Swollen eyes, snot, I am tired of med school tears.....


On a good note, my 20 something yr old was allowed to get on the transplant list. I am happy for him.

Sunday, November 11, 2012


I like to share some of the things i like/ have discovered from time to time

I just found this site today through my brother - Marc and Angel (Practical tips for daily living). I am linking directly to the first post i read but you should go through the site, i think it is great!!! It's really good. I have discovered especially since i got into watching youtube, that a lot of people are just looking for guidance on how to get through life, from the smallest things to big issues.This is a good site. I think there's great advice on there.

I subscribe to The Daily Love. I googled it after i heard that it's part of Oprah's morning routine (Hey! Don't judge me :) You get daily quotes from it, some of which are quite profound and i have shared at least one on this blog. I haven't really explored the site much, but i like the quotes i get each morning.

This blogger Man2Man  just commented on my blog for the first time today and i checked his blog out and i quite liked it. He is a gister. Since Ms Ibhade has decided to no longer be our resident gister, i am looking for a replacement. LOL. 

I have gushed about my love for Downton Abbey and The Middle in the past, so that's not new. They continue to give me life. The Real Housewives of Atlanta is back. I am so not a TV or movie person.

Milk Chocolate Digestive. Sigh. It's so good. It is the definition of a guilty pleasure for me right now. It's just sinful and since i am trying to be a good christian, I am not buying it anymore. You can get it from Walmart.

That's all i can think of for now. If i think of anything else, i will update this post.

You turn, share....what would you recommend that I check out. What's giving you

Have an awesome week you guys! I will be trying to perfect the act of looking and sounding confident during my presentations. I am tired of getting that feedback, so i need to work on my bullshitting technique during rounds. Okay, maybe not bullshitting, cos i really would like to know my stuff.


P.S. I have exactly 503 blogs on my bloglist right now. I update it regularly with blogs i actually like. If you are not on my bloglist and would like to be, let me know. Cool, cool, cool.....Oh I like Community too. Does anyone know if the new season has started?

Saturday, November 10, 2012


We have a 2O something yr old on our service who is probably going to die sometime soon. 
I don't know if he knows it
I just want to hug him
His MELD score is 40
2-3 months
He needs a liver STAT
He is probably, most likely not going to get it
cos more than likely he will be denied from being put on the transplant list
Dude is an alcoholic and he drank his liver to death
He's been given multiple chances to turn his life around, but it hasn't worked out. 
Does that mean he shouldn't be accepted on the transplant list?
I just want to hug him
He looks so sick and i feel so bad

I am on transplant medicine this month, which means all our patients either have had a transplant or need a transplant. One of the attendings gave me and my resident a teaching talk about transplants yesterday and while it was very informative, the big question i had at the end of the talk was, what's the use? Fear no let me ask because it seems like a very callous question to ask. Long story short, getting a transplant only buys you time. The organ eventually fails, maximum 15 years if you are lucky. You live longer and it's cheaper than if you were on dialysis  but it's not a permanent fix.

So pretty much everyone on our service is living on borrowed time. I know we are all going to die but i wonder what it's like knowing that i only have 10 - 15 yrs to live. Now i'm not saying anyone who's transplanted organ is failing automatically dies, no! You get put back on dialysis or/and if you are lucky, you can get another transplant. I had a 33 yr old pt last week who has had 3 kidney transplants. Life is not easy sha. I am learning a lot both about medicine and about life.

Life is short! We have to make the most of it. I was already conscious about these sort of things before, but now it has more meaning. It's so real. It's all about not sweating the small stuff and just living and being in the moment. I'm trying to squeeze whatever enjoyment i can out of life, which is why when i really wanted that milk chocolate cookie this evening, i bought it, ate three pieces and threw the rest under my bed. LOL. After all, they did say resist the devil. I tried. Going through life with a pot belly is not sexy, so we still got to watch that.

Have a wonderful week you guys and don't do too many bad things. Just one or two is okay :)

Generation Rochas

Have you guys heard of this? I think it's a very laudable effort by young people. Quite interesting actually. If there's to be any hope for Nigeria, then young people who are really interested in change need to get involved in politics.

I just went to their website and i was impressed. Anyhoo, you can visit to get in the loop and maybe it will inspire you to start something.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Agbaya Tinz

 My hat in all its glory :)
I know, right!
It's so AWESOME!!! (lol cc Dr. Sushi)
It cost me $20
Yes, i intend to walk around looking a damn fool, but a happy fool
It's all part of yoloing :)

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Black or White?

Sister to 3 yr old niece: Are you black or white?
Niece: (Confused look) I AM brown!

LOL....that was the exact text i got this evening. I thought it was hilarious and it made my day. Kids are so precious and innocent.

Anyone who can hurt a child is from and of the devil.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Re: Why I dislike Religious People

 The title of my previous post is not exactly accurate as i don't dislike religious people per se. I think religion serves a purpose, be it Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, paganism or whatever you practice. There have been studies to show that people who are religious might have a better well being or outlook on life, which is understandable, because if you "cast all your cares unto the lord" you won't worry too much about whatever problems you are dealing with and that helps you get through life easier. I understand that, and if being religious is working for you, that's fine.

However, the average church going Nigerian christian is on a kentro level. I'm not even sure where to start. Their behaviors and words that come out of their mouths is alarming. SOME of them are like sheep, senseless sheep. I'm sorry but it's the truth.

Here's who i don't like....really
  •  Fanatical Christians
  • Christians who are anything but Christlike
  • Eye service Christians
  • Church going hypocrites
  • Christians who worship their pastors
  • Christians who have lost their common sense and ability to think for themselves
  • Christians who are scared to question the status quo
  • Christians and pastors who misquote the bible to suit their own purposes
  • Christians who are scared to call out pastors and so called men of God who are obviously doing wrong
  • Christians who mix paganism, superstition and traditional beliefs with the bible
  • Christian who think anyone who is different from them, doesn't believe what they believe is doomed for hell
  • Christians who look down on people because they think they are so holy...(re: This comment is for believers only *rollseyes*. I saw that mess on Myne's blog). Who do u think you are? 
I could go on and on, but you get my point. If you fit into any of this category, you need to go back to the drawing board, which in this case is your bible. Think about what Jesus would do and make christianity a religion people would want to be a part of instead of running away from.

I need to take the time to talk about my church in Nigeria unfortunately i am being worked like a dog this month. How am i already carrying 4 patients less than a week of starting. Hours are 7am - 6.30pm (earliest). I was dreaming when i thought we were out by 5pm. I was there until 8pm one time and it seems like that's going to be the story for the rest of the month. We don't even get a lunch break, as we are supposed to attend noon conference everyday. Like, seriously, no! At least they allow us to eat during noon conference.
I have a millions things to read about tonight, as one of my attendings is a pimp master.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Why i dislike religious people

PASTOR E. A. ADEBOYE's facebook status message on Oct 24th 2012

Have your enemies spiritually turned you into meat and eaten your flesh expecting you to die by the following morning? The Lord is saying, "You are not their meat and they can't do anything to you." They have a shocker coming: the one they thought they had eaten and whose obituary they are expecting is coming out to greet them and to outlive them! You will outlive your enemies! Those who are planning your burial, you shall attend their funeral in Jesus' Name AMEN!!!

Thousand's of people liked this status, including a facebook friend which brought it to my attention this morning.

There's something about this that doesn't sit well with me. It's so wicked and unforgiving, so unchristianlike, so unlike anything i would imagine Jesus would say.

But then again, this a different brand of christianity practiced by Nigerians. Very militant, do me i do you style. So native doctorish mixed with "christianity".

So you can be spiritually turned into meat? That's good to know. I told Dr. Sushi that the next time i am hungry, she needs to watch out, cos she's my target. I shall be invoking my spiritual powers. She wants to be turned into steak, not gizzard cos that would be an insult.

I know Pastor Adeboye is plenty people's daddy....but arrange yourself well on my blog and don't tell me any nonsense about "anointed" and all those other crap Nigerians like to spew when it comes to religious leaders. I don't even try to give a fuck about these things so don't bother yourselves.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Pink Ballot

Thank you guys soooo much for all the birthday wishes. I really enjoyed reading your lovely comments, it was the high point of my day which was pretty much meh.... I had run away from facebook a couple of days before because i didn't want to deal with the HBD, LLNP which i think is the most annoying thing ever plus, i don't like all that plenty attention. This was the third year in a row that i have purposefully left facebook before my birthday. My friends still call me anyway so it's all good.

Instead of using to pick a winner for the ebook giveaway, i decided to do a pink ballot just cos i'm a baus :) and the winner is..........

 I saw this on facebook yesterday and it took me a good minute to remember what it's called (the pink and green fruit). Then i forgot again just now but it came to me.I only liked eating the pink ones and just the skin, didn't care of the seeds at all.

Pepperfruit and cherry (the orange on in the back). What do you guys call these?

I just started my medicine clerkship today. Guess who they put on the transplant team? Me! There's one resident, one intern and one med student on the team, plus the attendings of course. I have heard that transplant is a difficult service to be on. Long hours, plenty of work *Deep breath*. We see lung, liver and kidney transplant patients. These are not only patients who just had a transplant or are about to, in addition to those patients, anyone who has ever had a transplant and has subsequent medical issues is put on the team. The patient i got assigned to today, came in for abdominal pain and fever, (she had a transplant in 2001) but she has 22 other chronic illnesses and has over 20 medications she takes on a daily basis. I was just weak. The whole thing gave me a headache. Can i go back to peds please, where the patients just had one illness, please God?! Please?

I get 4 days off the entire month, so that comes out to 6 days straight on from 7 am - 5pm when i'm not on call and till 8pm when i'm on call. I get every Sat off which is something to look forward to. Hopefully i can still blog, if not, then u'll see me when u see me. I have SOOOO many things i would like to blog about but there's really no time and i can't add blogging to the list of work i have to do cos that won't be fun but i had to put up this post to say thanks for the birthday wishes which i sincerely appreciate and announce the winner of the ebook. Miss Mikki email me so i can can send you the ebook. I have so much to do, but i will be taking a nap before anything else cos i am exhausted. They didn't even use their church minds to give us a break between clerkships.


Monday, October 29, 2012

Oct 29

It's my birthday and i am sad and deflated and overwhelmed. Good thing i never planned out my life because if i had planned it, this is not where i would have wanted to be at this point. I think i am burnt out.. I'm just losing steam and i can't afford to right now. I have an OSCE on tuesday and a shelf on Wednesday, so i can't even enjoy the birthday anyway. Be that as it may, let's review the last year of my life

  • I found God
  • Then i lost him or he left me, one of the two. I'm boycotting him right now anyway, so it doesn't matter.
  • Med school has been using me to play panya and it hasn't stopped. Sighhhhhhhh.............
  • I am coming out of my shell and enjoying this new side of me
  • I found out i can actually tolerate bullshit, either that or med school has taken the fight out of me. I just don't want to deal with wahala anymore.
  • I discovered how strong I really am. "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have" - This is true
  • I boycotted guys for the rest of 2nd yr and got my life and sanity back. I loved every second of it.
  • I decided i don't want to be a Pediatrician or an Anesthesiologist (The only rotations i have done so far). Here's to hoping i like Internal medicine, my next rotation. I probably won't like anything with the way things are going.
  • Actually, i lied. I fell in love the first day i walked into GI clinic. It could have been lust or infatuation. Only time will tell.
  • I discovered medicine is cool. Sometimes i am awed by the things i've seen and it makes me want to be a good doctor. I just want to be great at what i do and have patients who think i'm awesome because i am knowledgeable and have good people skills. That's my goal in life.
  • I have accepted that my brain may never fire in the direction of me longing to be someone's wife but i think it's something i would be okay with doing if i met the right person (who will let me keep my name. lol)
  • Sadly, i have to admit by my grandmother's standards, I am no longer a spring chicken even though i might look like one. It's okay though, old hens taste better, so i'm cool with that. 
  • I stopped carrying medicine on my head. I started sleeping and taking plenty chill pills. It has helped my health a lot. My sanity is still questionable, but it's a process and we are getting there.  
  • I am convinced that i was built for a life of luxury. I would love an assistant to take care of the mundane aspects of my life. One can dream right? That is my number one fantasy. I was made to be a madam o. Cash madam, big madam, for my mind. All join. 
Sinfully delicious. My treat to myself, after all you only turn 65 once :)
 Happy Byday to me! 
Thankfully Hematology clinic is only 3 hours in the morning and i can study for the rest of the day. 
Whoop dee doo!

Saturday, October 27, 2012


"See if you can catch yourself complaining in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness."
  - Eckhart Tolle, German born best-selling author.

Being in med school makes me want to complain A LOT! The truth is i am ready to be done with this part of my life. Yes, it doesn't necessarily get better or easier anytime soon, but at least i will not be a med student anymore. As one of my oversabi friends said yesterday, this is the life i chose. I wasn't complaining to her, she asked me what i was doing and i said studying, then she said that. In my mind, i said, thank you.

I really like this quote especially the part that says "To complain is always nonacceptance of what is". What is right now is that i am in med school and i have to finish.Since i can't/don't want to leave the situation, i have to accept it. I just need to hang in there, keep my head straight, surround myself with supportive people and don't lose sight of the goal.

This thing is trying to break my spirit but i am a strong African woman :)

P.S I need to gist you guys about how i had to give a sex talk to a 17 yr old guy and asked his mom to leave the room. She almost cut my head off, fear catch me. Med school can be an awkward circus sometimes. Good thing i don't take those kinds of things personally. 

I did not tell her what i was going to talk to her son about. I just said i have to questions i would like to ask him alone, naim the woman put book down say "say what now?" LOL Very hostile response. Omo, fear catch me. I said it's standard practice, i have to talk to him alone.

She left but not without slamming the door on her way out. I say Dr. T which kind wahala you put me today. The other doctors know this family so they were surprised my attending made me do that. Oh wells.

Blunted on Reality by Chinedu Achebe

Looking for a book to read by a Nigerian author? I've got one for you.

Blunted on Reality follows the life of Obi Ifeanyi, a Nigerian American lawyer in his late 20s, coming of age after the historic election. As he confronts challenges that impact his family, career, and romantic interests, he is forced to examine his past and present choices to define his future.

Here's an excerpt of the book to whet your appetite

While they enjoyed a late breakfast, they began to discuss the history of Obama’s election. Obi started the conversation saying, "I still can’t believe this racist ass country elected a black man named Barack Hussein Obama to be the President. I guess Bush fucked this country up so much that Americans were ready for a dramatic change. Regardless of the matter, it is all good with me. Tamika, you wouldn’t imagine the electricity that was at the spot we were watching the election results at yesterday. It was like everybody knew he was going to win, but when CNN reported that Barack Obama would be the President-elect on the screen; the crowd erupted in a euphoria that I have never seen in my life. I was embracing everybody at the place, including people I didn’t know. I can’t even lie to you; I got real emotional and shed a few tears. It was one of those moments that everybody will be able to tell their kids and grandkids about."
Tamika also indicated the feeling was the same at the place she was at with her friends. She posed a question to Obi, "So how does it feel to be 29 and one year closer to the big 30?" Obi responded, "I guess I am just embracing it. I think sometimes people get caught up in reaching a particular age as needing to have reached a certain level of accomplishments. I now see that in life everything comes with time. But it does make me more introspective that I am not getting younger and that I need to start prioritizing what is important for the rest of my life as well." Tamika responded, "So are you ready to settle down, get married, and start a family?" Obi said, "At this point of my life I know I am ready for the right woman to come into my life. I guess it depends on if that woman is ready for a man like me."
The comment was not intended for Tamika, but she took it like it was. "Well everybody isn’t ready to settle down at the same time, we all got our own time." Tamika said. "That’s cool, but I am not going to hang around while someone decides if I am a good enough man or not. If that person doesn’t recognize what she has in front of her, then maybe I am not the guy for her." Obi responded.
Tamika started pondering a lot of thoughts in her mind. She really loved being around Obi and wanted to be with him one day,
but even though she just turned 30-yearsold; she was just getting into her advertising career and wasn’t sure if she wanted to make a sacrifice for any man, including Obi. The other thing is she couldn’t imagine giving up Obi to another woman. It was funny how life turns out. In college she would never worry about competing for the affection and attention of a man. She held all the cards and decided who she wanted to date. But in the world outside of college, the odds of meeting a tall, smart, and conversational man like Obi were very slim.
Tamika’s dating experiences after breaking up with Obi were not very successful. She didn’t want the Obi type of guy, so she reverted back to the type of guys she dated before Obi. Even though in her early to mid 20s, the roughneck niggas were her thing, lately she finally realized that those weren’t the type of guys to build a future with. The problem with Tamika was that she never fully appreciated Obi’s scope of knowledge on political and social issues. She wasn’t a very engaging conversational person beyond discussing the
entertainment industry

Tamika thought Obi’s knowledge consisted of a wide variety of things like fluff which didn’t amount to anything. She would always wonder why he liked to know what was going on in the world. Obi would be upset with Tamika’s lack on intellectual curiosity. He would tell her, "I don’t understand how you know almost everything about these damn reality shows, but you can’t take 20 minutes to read the headline news from CNN on TV or the Internet." Tamika had never been asked to do much in her life but to smile and look beautiful.

Most men never demanded her to challenge them mentally. But with Obi things were different. He was a very strong willed, outspoken, and opinionated man. He came from a family growing up where his father would have him read the New York Times by the time Obi was 10-years-old. Obi would have to write a thorough analysis of what he read. Both of his parents challenged their kids to be critical thinkers and not just memorize things or just regurgitate them.

The book is available on

Just because i'm nice like that, i am also giving away a copy of the e-book to one lucky reader. Entering to win is easy peazy. All you need to do is

  1. Be a friend/subscriber of
  2. Follow the author on twitter - @chineduachebe
  3. Leave a comment telling me your favorite book written by a Nigerian author
The winner will be selected by and annouced on Wed, Oct 31st. One entry per person please.

What i really want to know is if the author is related to Chinua Achebe......

P.S. My favorite book by a Nigerian author is The Concubine by Elechi Amadi. I wish there were more books like that.All you writers get to writing. Nigeria has lots of stories to tell and i want to read them cos i'm an amebo like that.
Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

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