Saturday, December 15, 2012

Expectations

We have all heard of the saying "Don't have expectations and you won't be disappointed" or something along those lines. I think that is a very unrealistic statement that is founded on bullshit. Really. It's one of those things that is supposedly "common sense" but is so easy to say and impossible to do. I believe relationships are built and develop based on expectations. Not just romantic relationship, any relationship at all. Parents, siblings, friends, workers. If i hire a housemaid, i would have expectations of her and vice versa. We all have expectations from people but they are different based on the type of relationship you have with that person.

When you come up with a list of things/qualities you want in a guy, what do you think that is? In any relationship we feel there are certain things that should go without saying, those are expectations. I get annoyed at my siblings sometimes because i feel they are not doing what i expect them to do. We have never talked about those things, I think they should just know. Expectations become a problem when they start becoming unrealistic. For example, I have always had a problem with girls who expect heaven and earth from guys. He is not your father. Now, if you expect those same things from your father, that would be appropriate because he is your father, that's what's he's there for.

I think instead of saying have no expectations from people, you should tweak your expectations as your relationship with that person evolves. You could lower it or increase it depending on the situation.  If someone continues to disappoint you, then it's only wise to stop expecting much from that person or after watching enough naija movies, it's okay to lower your expectations regarding the ending of a lot of good movies. It's almost like the director gets tired and says let's end this thing, therefore you get a good movie, crappy ending. It's okay to lower your expectations so you won't be disappointed.

I really do think it's very unrealistic not to have expectations from our significant others, close friends and family, we are not built that way and people should stop giving that advice. I think if you want to say, don't have any expectations from this particular person based on XYZ, then that's valid. It's not a blanket statement that should be used for everyone.

3 comments:

  1. Expectations are part of life, the problem is how realistic and well communicated those expectations are.

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    Replies
    1. Agreed. But are expectations the same as standards?!

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    2. I think it depends on how u look at it. If i say i'm not going to date anyone without a bachelor's degree, that's a standard not an expectation. If i meet a guy without a bachelor's and proceed to date him hoping he get's a degree based on our conversations or whatever, that's an expectation.

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