Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Clean slate

New year, new things but i have to take out the trash from last year.

This and this and this and this and this.


Moving on.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The low road

I just want to let you guys know that this blog is no longer just my blog o! It is now for me and california girl. Eh hen! Since she wants to live and die on this blog, i have to make her co-owner of the blog. Na by force. Since what she knew about me wasn't enough, her sickness of distrust compelled her to see the need to be sneaky and spy on me through my blog.

My blog was supposed to be an outlet. A sanctuary away from friends and family. Nevermind that it is online and anyone can see it. That's y it is anonymous so that i can be free to pour my heart out. These people don't know who i am. It was supposed to be theraupetic.

Why was it so hard for u to let me have this space for myself?

You knew everything about me anyway, but that wasn't enough for u. Instead u invaded my space, read what i wrote, made wrong assumptions and had the audacity to tell me that if i had nothing to hide why didn't i write about a certain incident on my blog. Because of YOU!!!! That's y. Why should i do exactly what u expect me to do?

What you did is exactly the same as taking someone's diary and reading it behind their back. I asked u straight up if you were reading my blog and u said NO. Yet, u could open ur mouth and call me a liar over some made up bullshit that u concocted. NYSC? Is that something to hide? Get out of here. You opened your mouth and defended your actions by saying that u didn't tell me u were reading my blog cos it would defeat the purpose. What purpose?!!! You being a sneaky rat and spying on me? You were the closest friend i had in this country, yet u felt the need to do that. You ought to be ashamed. What did u hope to find out?!!! What! What?! What! I would never do that to u. Never!

As if that is not enough, u pick a bunch of stupid, meaningless stuff that u read on my blog and used them as a basis for not wanting to talk to me. Thank u for choosing to deal with this situation that way. You did both of us a favor.

As for believing what Freddy said and what u wrongly assume i insinuated, i hope it makes u happy. It's called trust and giving someone the benefit of doubt in spite of all evidence to the contrary. You were supposed to know me enough to know that i would NEVER accuse YOU of that. I don't give a shit what was in that text message. Freddy knows i never once said or insinuated that. Yet, he sent u the text message to get back at me, and you chopped. Mouth wide open, u chopped. Believe what u chose to believe, i no longer give a shit. As long as my conscience is clear, that's all that matters to me. Let God be the judge of Freddy, and i hope God also gives u the ability to trust the people u call ur friends and not fall with whatever wind that blows.

For months i have wondered what i did to you but after listening to you talk yesterday, i stand by my initial belief that i didn't do anything to YOU. I am allowed to have private thoughts that i do not share with u. Even if we were twins, you still wouldn't know every minute detail about me and that's all i am guilty of. None is this is a big deal. If u had come to me with all these accusations when u first had them, we would never have taken this path. That's why i say, all the hours i spent talking to u was a waste of my time. Our friendship had no foundation. If something as stupid as this could cause you to react the way u did, then i'm glad everything ended when it did. Because obviously you are the kind of person who would believe whatever anybody tells you about me, letting me know u never knew me in the first place. Four years of friendship down the drain over you thinking i was coding stuff on my blog. Come on. Come on, seriously come on! That is the saddest shit ever.

Venom, venom? Are u serious? It's my fucking blog. I have the absolute right to write whatever i want to write on here. You chose to sneak in here and pretend u weren't reading my blog. You think u r slick. I hope u enjoyed reading what i wrote about you. It was exactly the type of stuff u were expecting to see, wasn't it? Don't get mad now. I stand 100% by what i wrote because it was exactly how i felt at that time, and i wanted YOU, my dear california girl to read it cos i knew u were coming here. If i chose to ask people's opinion of it, like u so mockingly said yesterday, that's my fucking business. You weren't invited here in the first place and u LIED that you weren't reading the blog. So take whatever u see, and keep it moving. Who's the liar now?

I'm glad we had the discussion yesterday. God knows i had no desire to carry over this bullshit into 2009 and for that i am grateful to you.

Happy new year my sweets. I'm sure you'll keep coming to this blog cos i got it like that and u can't get enough of me. I'll make sure i do my best to entertain you cos u r obviously my number 1 fan. Mwah!

Ciao baby.

P.S Lenie says hi. He loves everybody regardless of their flaws. I'm doing my best to emulate him, but it's kinda hard.

Poems..... Urghh

I had a poem post on here, but now i say fuck it!

I'm about to take the low road. Sometimes that's the only road to take.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Food for thought

My dearest friend always tells me that one of my greatest problems is that i let my emotions control me.


So many things, so many things.......... but nothing.

I'm off to wack this chinese food. I earned it!

Thursday, December 25, 2008


New year, new things. Although technically we are still a week from the new year. As a result, the content of this blog will be changing. Sort of. What do i mean by that? I'm not just going to talk about personal stuff or let's say very personal stuff.

I sort of stopped caring about remaining anonymous a while ago but it is still unsettling when people who know me have information they would otherwise not have if they were not reading my blog. I'm not sure how comfortable i am with that.

I started blogging Jan 23rd 2007 because i wanted to be able to freely talk about my feelings and things that were stressing me out that i wasn't comfortable talking about with the people in my life, I had just being unceremoniously dumped by an idiot, who funny enough called me last week to say he didn't like the way things ended between us. Well, i guess things are not going too well in babymamaville. Anyway, at that time i was hurting, and besides my friends who were there for me, i needed another outlet. On top of that i was dealing with a severe depression that was as a result of a brief abusive relationship. So i had a lot of things on my plate.

Blogging helped, but i was really adamant about remaining anonymous so i kept deleting blogs. This is my 4th blog. Now, i've said no more!! I will not delete another blog neither will i stop blogging. I am a long way from the person that i was last year. I went to therapy which helped my depression tremendously and i am happier than i have ever being. I have truly good friends who have stuck with me until now. My old friends are still the best friends that i have. My relationship with my family is wonderful. We keep having new blessings everyday. I am the happiest that i have been in the 6 yrs that i have been here. I know that i am blessed and i couldn't ask for more.

I'm not going to stop blogging, cos i love it too much and i love u guys too much. I wouldn't just want to walk away and not hear how u guys are doing. So i'm going to remain in blogville but i am no longer going to put it out there like i used to. I don't need to anymore. I'm thankful for all the support i've gotten from u guys. I know some of u really care even though u don't know me. What could be sweeter than that? To have a virtual support system. It's truly awesome and that's one of the blessings this year has brought me.

So, to all the wonderful people of blogville, Merry Christmas and i'll "see" you guys in 2009.

Hasta la vista, babes!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Buddha Belly

Thanks for all the congratulatory messages. I have been on cloud nine. Imagine, i got a mail from the army addressing me as "Dear medical Student". What's not to be happy about.

The problem i have now is that i'm gaining weight rapidly. I have no self control. I just eat everything that comes my way. It's getting sicken. I already know how i'm going to look when i'm 3 months pregnant. It would be cute if i was pregnant, but since i'm not, it's not cute AT ALL.

My crazy brother is not helping matters by buying cakes, candy and junk food. Somebody hold meeeeeeeeeeee......... Seriously though, matter don dey hard.

I need to lose 15lbs! Any tips? Nothing crazy, like liquid diet or diet pills.

Did i tell u guys of the time i took Hydroxycut?! Person go siddon e go be like say e dey run. The increased heart rate was scary. Let's not talk about the sleepless nights that i had for the three days that i took those pills. Guess how much i weighed when i took those pills? 138lb!!!!

I thought i was fat then. Now i'm 155lbs and i can't even talk.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Whoo hoo!

YES! YES!! YES!!! YES!!!!

Medical School here I come.

God has blessed me. Thank you GoD!

Dec 19, 2008. Best day of my life.

Thanks to everyone who prayed for me and wished me luck and encouraged me. You should have seen me bawling my eyes out today in the rest room at my job. It took my sister 5 minutes to understand what i was saying. After she was like, are u sure u are the only one in the rest room? Did u look under the stalls? Me ke? I was too happy/emotional to care. I'm so happy. I don't care that i spent the whole day on my feet today at work and now i have to work 3rd shift at my second job. I no care. Nothing will spoil my happiness today o!

God has truly blessed me. THANK YOU GODDDDDDDDDDDD!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Mrs. melu melu-leke leke

What in the world is the deal with married women who hypenate their husband's first and last name as their surname. I don't get it. It's very annoying. This is now a "trend" amongst the females who went to my high school. If it was their dad's last name and their husband's last name hypenated, i wouldn't have a problem with it. That's what i intend to do, if my future husband insists that i add his name (i wouldn't if it was up to me). But no oh! That's not tush/hip enough.

It really just annoys me in an unexplainable way. I guess it's because ALL of them are now doing it. I'm just like WHAT THE FUCK is this?!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

3 truths and one lie

Toluwa and GNG tagged me. So i'm to say two truths and one lie and u guys get to pick out the lie. Well, i'm going for 3 truths and one lie. Let's see how well you guys can figure me out.

  1. I have been to jail.
  2. I had an identical twin sister who passed away when she was 2yrs old.
  3. I kissed a girl (and i likkkeeeed itt..... (singing))
  4. I have six fingers.
Knock yourselves out!


Monday, December 8, 2008


I can't believe it has come to this. I'm bored! Don't feel like blogging anymore. I don't even have time to read blogs anymore. I feel like the whole world is spinning and i'm in the middle, like i'm in the center of a freaking hurricane.

I'm just sick.

I'll be back and no, i'm not suffering from bloggers block. I have a ton of stuff to talk about. Just don't have the time or desire to do so.

Friday 12.30pm this week, pls send good thoughts my way. I have my first med school interview. I am excited/nervous. I actually had an osteopathic med school interview in January of this year but i didn't get accepted. After going through that process, i decided not to apply to Osteopathic medical school this year (for next yr). So this my first regular med school interview. Given how sad my MCAT score was, i am surprised to say the least. I guess my other "credentials" carried the day. I told myself that i was getting into medical school next yr, low MCAT scores or not. It seems like my dream is going to come true. God knows i worked for it.

Ciao people.

P.S Soupasexy, u made my day. I missed u too!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Paper Journal

I know i should be living my life for me, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way.

Parents find it difficult to start treating their grown kids like that are actually grown, in my case, i find it difficult to start relating with my mother like i'm grown. Why can't i be open about stuff. I'm too old for this. Why can't i be free and talk about stuff instead of sneaking around like a teenager.

I'm stressed beyond belief. I have the event of my life coming up next week.

I'm starting to get hooked on my Bartles and Jaymes Pina colada Wine cooler. I tried Boones Farm fuzzy navel and it was great. Would have finished the whole 750ml bottle at one sitting if i wasn't driving. When did i start drinking? I worked at a liquor store for almost 5 yrs. I only drank once a yr on my birthday. Now, the frequency of my wine cooler drinking has increased. Even though i've never been tipsy or drunk, i'm starting to crave a drink whenever i'm stressed. The alcohol must be having an unconscious physiological effect on me to make me crave it.

I'm not working this weekend. First free weekend since August. Halleluyah! I get to practice....

I've been having severe mood swings. I most certainly am PMSing, but then again i definitely remember being told in my psychology of women class that PMS is a socially constructed concept. I don't think my body/hormones got that message. Forgive me for being a bitch! I'll try to make sure that my body gets the memo next month.

I'm on a mission. The re-nigerianization of my fake Nigerian. First stop: Re-teach him some pidigin english. Note to self: Try not to slap him as he mocks me/giggles like a school girl as i speak it.

I'm tired of working; I hate my lab job, and i've become too physically tired to enjoy my hospital job. Who wants to get married to me, take out a life insurance policy and then conveniently die?! GASP!!! I can't believe i said that. Volunteers, line up on the right!

Why am i not eager/thinking of getting married? What happened to my desire to be someone's wife/mother? I thought they said i would grow into it. I must be a defective African woman.

I feel caught between too cultures. To a certain extent. I know i'm always going to do me. To hell with what people think. Still why do i have that nagging doubt at the back of my mind.

I'm sleepy yet don't want to go to sleep. I want to read that novel.

Why do i feel guilty/ashamed? I haven't done anything. I remember those days. I hated it! I never want to go back there. That's what progress is about. I am regressing. Too bad.

I took out my one and only wisdom tooth yesterday. It was huge. Who wants to see a picture?

Friday, November 28, 2008

Holla my pple

Happy belated thanksgiving! I spent the whole day working. 7am - 11.30pm. Yeah! The fucking hospital decided to serve the worst prisonesque meal i have ever seen them make since i started working there. They had a thin slice of turkey or ham, sweet potatoes, dressing, greens and a bread roll for lunch (disgusting looking). For dinner, they just took away the turkey option and replaced that with chicken dumplings and the rest of the meal was the same as lunch. In fact, the pple on my unit who are not allowed to go to the cafeteria, did not even have the chicken dumpling option. They basically had the same meal for lunch and dinner with the exact same bootleg piece of cake they had for lunch. I was glad when it was time to go home. My gastritis (which is inflammation of the stomach lining and has nothing to do with gas, as the name might imply (to the lay man)) was acting up really bad and i was in severe pain. So 11.30pm did not come soon enough.

I got a call from the hospital at 4.51am to come in, and i said hell nah! I'm working 16hrs saturday and 8hrs sunday. Let's not talk about the lab that i go to Monday to Friday. I'm flesh and blood oh! I need the money but i have to be alive to make it, so i'm cutting down. Once i pay off all my credit card debt and save $5,000, i'm quitting one job until it's time for med school. Having that goal helps me stay focused and not spend unneccessarily like i have been doing.

Enough of blogging. I'm going to eat then i'm going back to bed! I earned it.

P.S. I'm not talking about relationship issues anymore. Yawn! Boring! People (including me) are so complicated. When i "acquire" a guy i will let u know in a tiny subscript.

Thanks to everyone who is team Sting. It's very much appreciated.

P.P.S. I'm thankful for my little doggie Lenie, for my mom, brother, sisters and for the progress that is being made with regards to my future.

Hopefully b4 Christmas i'll have wonderful news to share.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It continues

Remember this guy? He sent me a message this morning and i don't know what to say, think or do.

I want u to know that i never stopped thinking of you and i still want you to be my girl.
when i was at home my dad asked a vital question about me and u that got me thinking....why should i give up on you????
i should still keep hope alive cos its clear i love you and i want to spend a very long time with you,like eternity.
Sting,i want u pls
sorry, i told my dad we are still on cos of the way he sounded.
he wants me to marry u when we are both ready
pls i cant leave you
i am willing to be patient
i've missed you dear

The main problem is there's nothing in me that wants to embark on a long distance relationship. Someone needs to just arrange a marriage for me and let all this be over with. As for Mr. Don't fall in love with me, i haven't done anything about that yet. After receiving this email, i am going to have talk with him, so i can figure out what the hell to do. Maybe i should go be a nun even though i'm not catholic. What do u think?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I need to think

I need to think, seriously. I'm freaking exhausted. I'm so tired i can't even get my thots in order. Thanks for the advice/suggestions i got on my previous post. I especially "enjoyed" Vera telling me to LIE! I haven't done anything about the situation. I did try to mention to New guy that there might be someone else, but that didn't play out very well.

As for Mr. Don't fall in love with me, i think i might just be setting myself up for future heart break. That dude doesn't know what he wants or maybe he does. He might just want to eat his cake and have it. He says he's with me (as in, we are together) yet, he doesn't do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. He thinks that label is too juvenile. He would rather say he's dating then eventually deal with a mother-in-law (he's words). So i'm like what's the difference between saying u r dating, and saying the chic is ur girlfriend?!!! I don't get it. It sounds like throat and neck to me.

That's not even the problem. This dude has determined that he wants to be with me but the relationship is going to end after i go to medical school. Why? Cos, he doesn't think a long distance relationship will work out. We'll grow apart, blah blah! So if u can already see into the future, why are u messing with me then? That's just setting me up for heart break and emotional stress right as i start med school. So i ask him, since u have determined that we don't have a future together, if i meet another dude that i like before i start med school, it will be cool with you if i start talking to him. He's like yeah, as long as you are not intimate with him cos that would be cheating. That's when i said, oh, you want to eat ur cake and have it. You want me until i go away. So i should ignore someone who likes me enough to want a relationship with me regardless of how far away i am in favor of u who has already seen the end of our relatiosnhip before we even start.

Of course he back pedals and says i'm misunderstanding him and he shouldn't have said it that way. He's with me and no one else and i have nothing to worry about on that level. He needs me to give it time and let's see how things go. Do i call bullshit on that one? I don't know. I told him i had a problem with him predicting the end of the relationship. The relationship might end tomorrow or b4 the start of next yr. Who knows. But for him to say we are going to grow apart after i get into med school, is saying he doesn't view this relationship as a potentially permanent thing. I did the dating for fun thing once, didn't work out too well for me. I would like someone who would be serious.

Way b4 we started have these types of discussions, one of my friends already told me not to get a boyfriend until i start med school cos there's no point. Then when i started talking to this dude, he told me to have fun and not try to put any label on it or make it a permanent thing. I think he has a point, but unfortunately for me, i'm already liking this dude. However, the good news i don't think i'm at the point of no return. I feel like withdrawing from this dude and not getting comfortable enough to become attached to him. I just can't let myself start thinking i'm in any sort of "serious" relationship. I've been down that road b4, and it's a disaster waiting to happen.

Friday, November 14, 2008


I'm about to get myself in trouble. There is a love triangle in the making and i have no idea how to extricate myself from this mess delicately. See, with Mr. Don't fall in love with me, i knew i liked him and wanted to be with him. With this other guy whom i've known since 2006 but on a hi-hello basis, i just want to be friends.

Me and my big mouth has basically been hounding New Guy and trying to force him out of his shell. It's easy to interpret that as me being interested in him. I never mentioned that i have a boyfriend which i didn't and i still don't as Mr. Don't fall in love with me hasn't proclaimed to me and to the world that he wants me to be his girl. Never mind that it's obvious that he does, he acts like he does but has refused to say the words.

Now, New Guy is interested. That's who i went to the aquarium with in case u were wondering. He got me this time piece thingy from one of the Harry Potter books (that he said is not a gift) because i said time is arbitrary or some bullshit like that. Then today he called to say he wanted to come down to where i was at work to say hey. We talked for a little bit, where he asked if i wanted to hang out at little 5 points sometime. After we finished talking, about an hour later he called the lab to say he was going to starbucks and he wanted to know if i wanted something from there. We've been talking since i got out of work. Problem is, i like him as a friend but i think he might be kind of interested in me. Which kind wahala be this?

How do i get out of this delicately. As far as he knows, there's no special guy in my life. I can't tell him i have a boyfriend because technically i don't but not so technically, i kind of do. I don't even know if i'm making sense. But to be honest, even if there was no Mr. Don't fall in love with me, i still wouldn't look at him that way cos i'm not attracted to him. He would make an awesome friend and i'm wondering how to let him know that that's all i want.

Monday, November 10, 2008


I like him. A LOT! I got my first hickey to show for it. Ha ha!

So Mr. Don't fall in love with me, has become Mr. I'm going to make you fall in love with me. He is a mess and i have told him so. All those mouth he was making initially was just for show. He told me a couple of days ago that he feels like i'm the female version of himself. What's funny is that i had noticed that we had very similar or identical views on a lot of things. I just put it down to us being Scorpios. He is very blunt and it can be uncomfortable hearing someone give u straight talk. Now i know how my friends feel when they say i'm too blunt.

We have the same type of sense of humor. Funny enough, the things he would say when i first met him that got me offended are things i usually say to guys. I know i'm joking but you have to know me really well to know that i'm not serious about what i'm saying and because of that a number of guys think i'm an arrogant snob. I have been accused of thinking i am too pretty, just cos some of the nonsense i say. Now that i know Mr. Don't fall in love with me a little better i totally get his sense of humor and i call him out on it. He doesn't talk a lot of crap any more and i think it's because he has gotten comfortable with me so he doesn't need all that cover up talk.

I'm just taking it one day at a time. My number priority is getting in med school. I just got tired of making that my only focus as that hasn't done me much good. So i'm out there getting hickeys and all that good stuff. Well, not that good stuff.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

A day in the life

I'm starting to have a little bit of fun in my life much to the horror and displeasure of my mother. She would like me to sit at home and vegetate or whatever. Why else would she freak out that i'm going out at night (7pm?!!!!). I have been paying mind to her all these years, but i have decided to put my foot down. As much as i would like to have a boyfriend, she's one of the reasons why i chose not to seriously deal with anyone. I would never get to see him or spend time with him without it becoming an issue. Despite evidence that might point to the contrary, i do like peace in my life, although some "crazy" pple would call me a drama queen, but what do they know. You and i know better :-) This post is really not about her cos if i start on that topic, we'll be here 4ver and i really need to go sleep cos i'm working overnight at the hospital today.

Would u guys believe that i fell asleep while i was working at the hospital last sunday, then i overslept and instead of taking a 30minute break it ended up being an hour. I was freaking tired. This was after working 10hrs the night b4, couldn't get any sleep the next morning cos my sister and her fiance were around and the house was bursting with activity. Lord, talk about the noisy pple i'm related to. Then when i drag my tired ass to work at 7pm that day a patient almost attacked me. We had to take him down and i ended up hurting my shoulder cos i fell to the floor when we took him down. I so wanted to cry that night. You can't even imagine.

Anyway, i went to the Georgia Aquarium and the Sun dial at the Westin yesterday. The view from the Sun dial is beautiful. It's 75 floors up and it was the prettiest thing ever to see all the lights. The aquarium was really cool and the best part for me was the Titanic exhibition. We were not allowed to take pictures of that but i have some gorgeous pictures of the fishes.


View from the Sun Dial

Yay! I found Nemo..

I got to touch/stroke these. They are the softest things ever. I couldn't even feel them at first.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Mini update

I have been busy working like a fool since my birthday. I haven't had time to reply comments (trust me when i say i reply all comments....... in my head) or do blog rounds but i'm with u in spirit. What do pple mean when they say that anyway?

Thanks for all the belated birthday wishes. Simplegal actually took time out to send me an ecard and i have to give her a shout out for that. As for ending my previous post the way i did, i don't think u guys want to know what really happened. I don't even want to know what happened sef, so let's leave that matter.

I got to drink "Nigerian" fanta for the first time in 6 yrs. People who grew up in Nigeria know what i'm talking about. The taste is completely different from the Fanta here. It's much more sweeter with none of the carbonated gas or whatever it is called. I used to LOVE fanta when i was in Nigeria. I don't think there was a day that went by that i didn't fanta yet i still weighed 110lbs. I long for those days. Anyway, i get here, of course i made a beeline for Fanta the first chance i got and i was like what in the world of fanta hell is this crap? I stopped drinking fanta after that cos the disappointment was too much. Funny enough i hated coke back in Nigeria but after i gave up Fanta i switched to coke cos at least it tasted familiar.

Nigeriandramaqueen asked if Mr. Don't fall in love with me is the same person as Mr. So sweet he'll give u a cavity. Lady, have u been reading this blog? No, they are not the same person at all.
As for Mr. Don't fall in love with me, i'm kinda neutral about the whole thing. Nothing significant to report on that end.

Do u guys watch Dr. 90210 on E? Am i the only one that thinks Dr. Rey is fruity? What's up with his clothes? I don't even know if gay pple dress that way. The man just reminds me of a dandy. Too many colors. He's just off to me.

That's all for my randomness. Happy Belated Birthday to Solomonsydelle and TK. Sorry i missed all that excitement.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

To moi

Thanks for all the birthday wishes guys. I had fun yesterday. It was the best birthday i have had in the last 6yrs i've been in the States. If i had any doubts about my friends, it was put to rest yesterday. People called me from 12.00am (on the dot) until 4.30am when i refused to answer my phone anymore. I needed to sleep Goddammit! Then the calls continued for the rest of the day. Let's not talk about facebook.

I went to work and then after work went out with Mr. Don't fall in love with me. I think i might have jumped the gun with regards to him in more ways than one, both in good and bad ways. I did try to have a conversation with him about his perceived arrogance and a lot of the crap he says and he told me that he doesn't mean a lot of the things he says to me. He just says things to get a rise out of me. I kind of felt bad cos i already put him on blast on here. Oh well. At the same time though, i'm still not exactly sure what he wants. He has proven to be very considerate and sweet, so i'll just let things happen naturally. If i end up being with him, cool. If not, i'll keep it moving. As much as i would like to be in a relationship, it's hard for me to get excited about it. What are the benefits anyway?

But, back to the birthday stuff. We went to a mexican restuarant and then when to a coffee shop to get cake. We ended up at Barnes and Nobles to look for a book he wanted then drove back to his place where i had parked my car and i got a very nice birthday kiss. THE End.

Well, that's the end of the story for u guys. It might or might not have been the end for me :-)

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Scorpios rock! Whoo hoo!

It's the time of the month again Scorpios. For those of us born OCT 24th - Nov 22nd, it's here!!! Whoo hoo! I love having my birthday towards the end of the year. It gives me something to look forward. I spent my last birthday under my blanket crying because of one sorry son of a biatch! Well, he was just an excuse to be miserable. I wasn't happy with my life, and i felt like i was getting older without making any progress. This year, i intend to enjoy my birthday to the fullest. I might not go out or have a bunch of pple around but however it turns out i know I'm going to spend the day smiling.

If i have any doubts about the number of pple who love me or think about me, those doubts are always cleared away on my birthday. Friends who i have not spoken to the whole year, call me all the way from naija. I don't even remind then nor do i have to put a countdown clock (i don't trust u blogville pple) but they remember and I'm flooded with phone calls from 12am -11.59pm and for days to come. Ain't i special? You know i am.

So i got this article that talked about the traits of Scorpios and i wanted to go through it and pick out what's true with regards to me. I'm not too into astrology but i bet u can't tell from the way I'm going gaga over being a Scorpio. Just a chance to get u guys to know me a little better. The red words are the article and the green are mine. Let no one accuse me of plagiarizing. I learned the hard way after making an F on an honors microbiology paper. Ended up with a B in that class, mscheeeewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!

Here's the Article
Beneath a controlled, cool exterior beats the heart of the deeply intense Scorpio. Passionate, penetrating, and determined, this sign will probe until they reach the truth(I have been accused every since i can remember of being too inquisitive and wanting to know every single detail. If that is not an Amebo extraordinaire i don't know what is). The Scorpio may not speak volumes or show emotions readily (I don't talk very much unless I'm really comfortable around the person. I bet you find that hard to believe, don't ya?), yet rest assured there's an enormous amount of activity happening beneath the surface. Excellent leaders, Scorpions are always aware (Trust me, i am. You can't be hiding shit from me). When it comes to resourcefulness, this sign comes out ahead.

Friends and Family

Sincerity and truth are strong components of the Scorpio's friends (The worst thing you could do to me is LIE. I like down to earth people and none of that bougie crap or as we naija's would say, none of that forming). It can take some time before really close bonds are formed (Very, very true), but once done, the Scorpio will remain dedicated and loyal (You can bet your life on it). Witty and intellectual, they prefer companions who are humorous and easygoing (OMG, this is so true. 98% of my close friends are crazy funny people. My childhood best friend is the most ridiculous person ever. Whenever i'm around her, i spend most of the time on the floor laughing. She's that silly. I miss u, Ney!). Full of surprises, this sign will give you the shirt off their backs if that's what you need (I'm sure the Jamo can attest to that. I've had to reel it in though cos a lot of people have no qualms taking advantage of niceness), yet once they are crossed, there's no turning back (It takes a lot for me to get that way, but once i do it's hard to turn back. Very hard, i guess cos it would take a lot for me to start to feel comfortable with the person again). They feel deeply, and once hurt, it can be impossible to turn things around. Commitment to family is strong and consistent with the Scorpio (I love my crazy disjointed and dysfunctional family). They are exceptionally helpful in managing affairs, and they are excellent advocates when needed (Power ranger extraordinaire. I'm available for hire. Seriously though, for whatever reason I've always found myself in that role. Whether as my brother's advocate to stop his much larger twin sister from killing him when they were younger, or as my mom's advocate to my dad. Let's not talk about the power ranger i do for my friends. I guess it's cos I'm very vocal when it comes to expressing my feelings and i can't stand people being taken advantage of or being mistreated when I'm around).

Career and Money

I desire is the key phrase for the Scorpio. They are fantastic at managing, solving, or creating (So true). Once the Scorpio sets their sights on a goal, there's no deterring this sign (Tell me about it. The fact that i am still pursuing the med school thingy is a testament to that). Tasks that require a scientific, penetrating approach are always best done by Scorpions as they will delve deeply into the materials they have. Their ability to focus coupled with determination makes for strong management skills. They're not ones to worry about making friends on the job scene (LOL. God will help my anti- social ass at my lab job. I don't mind making friends at work but i wouldnt go out of my way if they are not people i gel with. I'm much friendly at my hospital job than at the lab); rather, they prefer to see the task accomplished well.

Pursuing such careers as scientist (yep, work in a lab), doctor (yep, want to be one), investigator, navigator, detective (unpaid amebo work), researcher (yep, work in research), police officer, business manager, and psychologist (yep, bachelors in psychology) all suit the mighty Scorpio (Do u think it's a coincidence that i am affiliated with 4 of the jobs mentioned?). Respect is an essential aspect of working for this sign. They need to respect their coworkers while also feeling a sense of being respected by others (Tell me about it).

Scorpions are disciplined enough to stick to a budget and unafraid of working as hard and as long as it takes to get themselves in a good financial position (I have been working 7 days a week since August 11th. Work a 16hr shift every Sunday since August. So yes, i need the money and don't have a problem working for it, but don't be expecting it to spend my money on ur ass (guys). I have vowed never to spend my money on a grown man who's just being lazy. Cry me a river! Get ur sorry ass and go look for a job. If i can hustle, so can u). Many are fortunate and inherit money (Grandpere why weren't u rich and make me a trust fund baby? I'm so mad at u right now). Whatever the case - and regardless of the balance - they are great managers of their dollars and are not apt to overspend (That is so true. Managing my kishii comes so easy to me). Money means security and a sense of control, which is important to the Scorpio (One of my greatest fears is needing money and not having it then having to depend on someone else for it). Therefore, they're going to hang onto the majority of the cash, making decisions carefully before turning any of it over.

Love and Sex

This is the strongest of the sexualities in the Zodiac (Freaky deaky ain't we?). Incredibly passionate, the Scorpio takes intimacy seriously (Very true). Partners need to be intelligent and honest (Don't want no dumb ass up in my face. U can't be cute all u want if u can't carry on an intelligent conversation. Keep it moving. That's where i draw the line). Much of the foreplay for this sign happens long before the bedroom through conversation and observation (I love this cos it's right on the money). Once in love, they are devoted and loyal to the death (See why i'm overly cautious. A relationship has almost sent me to an early grave but literally and figuratively so thank you very much. There will be no repeat performance for that). But relationships can take some time. The Scorpio needs to build trust and respect for a potential mate slowly and thoroughly (Tell me something i don't know).

So there's it guys. Don't say there was no proper self-disclosure going on in this blog. I have bared my soul to u all and in return i want 20 cows and nothing less or else i will sic Yardua's 13yr old son and his machine gun on u guys.

Just in case my countdown clock chooses to malfunction, and i trust u pple to use that as an excuse, my birthday is OCT 29!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do i expects gifts.............. errrmmmmm NO! Surprise me! Y'all know where i live. Right here! or here at So chacha4mi on that day. No excuses! Invisible, i want my flowers and my cheese cake delivered straight to my lab, hospital and house. Nothing less than a dozen purple roses in each place. I don't care what kind of cheese cake u get as long as it's cheese cake! No excuses unless we go divorce that day.

Toluwa, i haven't forgotten your tag. I'm still thinking of something juicy. I got 2 already. I worked a 12hr shift yesterday, i was supposed to work 16hrs tomorrow but they are short staffed so bad for tonight so i'm going in 11pm -7am and 3pm -11pm Sunday instead. They wanted me to do 11pm -3pm the next day but i say God forbid. I can't walking around without taking a shower in day old undies, tufiakwa! So i passed on that one. So peace out my pple! I'll see u on the upside of Monday!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Relationship issues

I hate guys
I hate relationships
I hate the games
I hate the rules
I hate everything!


I finally admitted to myself yesterday that i am scared of being in a relationship. I'm sure there are many reasons why but the bottomline is the thought of being that "dependent" on someone makes me very uncomfortable. Ok, to be honest, it scares the shit out of me. When i say dependent i mean, having another person who can affect ur emotions/moods/decisions and a host of other things. Then there's the issue of attachment. I become attached to people very easily and that has put me in serious trouble on many occasions. I have sworn, never again.

I would really love to be in a relationship, but at the same time i can't see myself in one. I think i have become too cynical to ever let myself be in a relationship. I'm sure there is someone out there who is "different" from the bunch of useless arseholes i have dealt with in the past, but the question is, will i let my guard down enough to build a relationship.

I went to hang out with this dude yesterday and he kept looking at me with a half smile on his lips and this dreamy look in his eyes. I swear, the look was like "I'm so in love with you". I bet he didn't know he was coming across that way, so i felt it was my duty to tell him. He was like you are so beautiful. He must have said it at least 5x the whole time we were together but i did not believe him for a second. Fine, i'm not talking about the actual compliment. That might be true. He he! I'm talking about the sincerity of the compliment. All i was thinking was, "how many other chics does he say that to?" We've been talking for 3 weeks even though we introduced ourselves to each other in July. Funny story. This dude went to my school and for some reason i noticed him cos we always used to be in the library at the same time in the summer. During summer semester there's not a lot of people in school talkless of the library so it was easy to notice him. One day we got on the elevator together about 2 yrs ago and he made a comment about my book. That was it.

I suspected he was Nigerian even though he didn't sound Nigerian, but one day i saw him smoking and i was like this dude can't be Nigerian. Yes oh, i'm stupid like that, as if Nigerians don't smoke. Fast forward 2 yrs later, we had both graduated, i was going to a the library in a school closer to my house to study for the blasted MCAT and i see him. We both looked at each other and i guess i was in a friendly mood that day so i said hey, and he was like "i know you from somewhere" acting like he forgot. I reminded him and went on my way (He later admitted that he knew exactly who i was). Yeye oshi! We saw the next day in the parking lot and exchanged numbers. He didn't call me and i wasn't feeling him so i didn't really care. Funny enough, he has the kind of cute face that i like, but i was sick of guys at that point. Besides the dude is exactly my height (5'5, although he's claiming 5'7, ok oh! If u say so) and he's light skinned and i like the dark - very dark skinned brothas.

Anyhoo, he never called but instead will send me random text messages from time to time just to say hey. He started pissing me off at one point cos i was like what the fuck is wrong with this dude? Can't he freaking call? So i stopped replying the text messages and completely boned (ignored) him. After not hearing from him for like a month straight, he sent me a text asking where i had disappeared to that's when i called him right back and asked him what the hell was up with the text messaging.

We started talking regularly since then. He is a complete goof ball, very silly, always cracking jokes. I'm always laughing when we talk and he's the kind of person i would like to be around. He had told me he was interested but not directly so of course i didn't address it. I wasn't sure if he was as cute as i remembered anyway, so i wanted to make sure b4 i started talking on those levels. So we hung out yesterday, but here's where things went south. First of all, i was really uncomfortable cos i knew he was looking for a chic, or so he had said earlier. I really can't imagine being in a relationship with anyone. That's something that has a negative connotation to me, so i kept asking myself what was i getting into as i drove down there.

Then i got there, we start talking and during the course of the conversation he says, he likes being single and isn't looking for a relationship. Eh hen? Talk true. Ok! So what do u want with me? Long story short, after much dancing around the topic, he says friends with benefits. Now, you have to understand that this is not a serious human being we are talking about here. We were not having a serious conversation, so i can't say he meant it, but the fact that those words left his mouth gives me cause for concern. I can't just pretend like he didn't say it (you see y i hate guys, they are never straightforward). Then he saw me looking at him (he really is cute, and this is not my usual way of calling everything cute. He has a cute baby face) and he was like, "don't fall in love with me". Hmmm...... I just concluded that i'm not going to mess with this dude even though i already like him at this point. Whether he was joking or not, the message i got to say it plainly was that he was just looking for a fuck buddy for the winter. Una know say cold don dey come. I'm not down with that. That's a recipe for disaster. I already have relationship issues, then i will now enter that kind of arrangement where there is a huge possibility of me getting attached to the dude. When e tire he go just waka comot leave me like that. Hell no!

I don't even know what all this long story was for anymore. I've lost my train of thought, bottomline is i know i have relationship issues and i'm not very happy right now.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


A couple of people have questioned the veracity of my assertion that melu melu means cow in hausa(I bet u didn't think i could use big words. Ha!).Well, i wouldn't bet my life on it. I've always known melu melu meant cow, i never bothered to figure out the origin of the word. I asked my mom who speaks Hausa fluently and she said it's a hausa word. So that's how i know, ok pple! Don't be questioning her majesty like that. She might get mad and say off with ur heads.

On to the topic of the day. Ladies, this question is for u and i expect nothing but the honest TRUTH. No white lie, pink lie or blue lie! How many of u used to shave ur legs and armpits before u left naija? For those ladies that are in naija, how many of u shave (ur legs especially) and if you do how often do u shave? This issue has become a bone in my throat and it was made very apparent a few nights ago. I'll tell u how/why.

Now before i came to the US (if i had gone to Jand now, i would have said b4 i janded. So since America is Yankee, can i say before i yanked?!!! LOL), i only used to shave my pits, and that wasn't even regularly oh! I'm one of those hairy pple both on my arms and legs, but it never occurred to me to SHAVE. The very first time shaving legs came to my notice was in 2000 when my sister came to naija after being away for 10yrs. She had this shaving gel thingy and some razors. I say wetin be this (what is this?). Still, i didn't start shaving then oh. I didn't see the need. No girl i knew in naija shaved her legs. I would see chics who were 10X hairier than me on campus with skirts and hairy legs. To be honest, it wasn't even something worth noticing.

Fast forward to Yankee, i come here and everyone is going crazy in their quest to become hairless. Bikini wax, anal wax, brow wax, front wax, back wax, anything wax, electrolysis, name it, people have jumped on that bandwagon. The hairs on my legs are thick and curly, so if i don't shave it's not a pretty sight (anymore, b4 i liked it. That's was just the way it was). The first couple of times i shaved, i was like, what's the point of all this. I would let it grow back because i was more comfortable with hair on my legs. I felt weird with hairless legs. I always wore pants anyway, so it wasn't like pple were looking at me crazy. Na only me dey see my legs. Then i got used to shaving and slowly started getting uncomfortable with hair on my legs. That one no do me, I come crase carry go shave the hair on my arms. Well, i naired it off! I felt like a plucked chicken. I had these weird ass goose bumps all over my arms. It was just disgusting. That's when i said, fuck u hairless female country. I will keep my hairy arms, thank u very much! I have never shaved my arms since that fateful day in 2003

Now shaving my legs is another issue. I have never gotten into the habit of doing that regularly. The only problem is that i now feel disgusted whenever i see my own hairy legs. See wahala. Does that prompt me to shave, NO! I only shave when it has become a forest or i need to wear something that would show my legs which is not very often. So i have been happily carrying on this practice for years. A couple of days ago there i was in all my bushy/hairy glory (one of the benefits of being single), although it had gotten to the point where i was starting to get irritated by my legs but i really couldn't be bothered to shave. That is until i had a nightmare about it. I dreamt that i had to go somewhere at the last minute and i had nothing else to wear but shorts. So there i was out in public with my hairy legs. What kind of nonsense dream is that? What is really bothering me is the fact that i was worried about the hair on my legs enough to dream about it.

You know what is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO unfair? Guys get to go around with their hairy armpits and their hairy legs and hairy chests and hairy backs without it being an issue. That is so wrong on so many levels. The one that is killing me is the trend of bikini wax which suggests to me that men are now getting used to women without hair down there. So we are now all have to look like prepubescent kids just to conform (Well, another benefit of being single, i no follow una do that one). Hmmm...... Another question. Has anyone ever shaved down there and had to ENJOY the itch when the hair is growing back? That is torture on so many levels. I don't even want to talk about it cos i think i'm still suffering from post traumatic stress disorder because of that shit.

I really don't think it's fair that somebody somewhere decided that women should be hairless and men can walk around with their disgusting hairy armpits with no problem. We have all foolishly accepted that nonsense and i am so pissed that i have bought into that culture. Now i can't even stand to look at hair on my leg with wondering when i'll have time to shave. It's just plain stupid.

After all this ranting and raving will i stop shaving, no oh! I never said that. If u like say Sting said we shouldn't follow senseless trends and don't shave. You are on ur own oh!

P.S. I regret to announce the untimely death of Stingess. That shit did not fly. Re-introducing her royal highness, the one and only Sting of blogville. Thank u very much!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Melu melu means.............

(singing) I'm back again, I'm back again yeah yeah! A, B, C, D, E........ how many of u remember that song from the Remedies? Do u pple even know who the Remedies are? I don dey question a lot of una Nigerianness...... This one wey una no fit tell me the meaning of melu melu so. B4 i continue, let me say thanks to everyone who left a comment on my last 2 posts. I really appreciate it. It helps to know u guys care. If not una for don hear say Sting, abi na Stingess don off herself and it would have been all INVISIBLE'S fault. Seriously, u pple should ask him y he rejected my marriage proposal. I dey vex.

Anyhoo, i have been here for the last hr updating my bloglist. Who sent me to go and change my blog template, i don't know. Toluwa and Vera, thank you! God bless u. Una go born twins, triplets, sextuplets, quintuplets, and all of them join together. They were the only ones who said anything about my template change. For that, a wag of the finger to the rest of u all. You all are on notice!

So as some of u might have noticed (u better have) i have changed my name to Stingess. Why? Well, whenever i read pple comments and they refer to me as Sting, i'm always confused. Yes oh! I go dey look back they find Sting b4 i realise say na me. The name was just too masculine for me, so i decided to soften it a little bit hence the Stingess. Her royal highness Stingess the first! You r very welcome!

For the record, Melu, melu means............................. COW! It's the hausa word for cow pple. Get with the program........ Sheesh! Y'all need to be ashamed of urselves, and that's my final word!

P.S. I love Stephen Colbert.

P.S.S. Wordsmith almost daggered me this morning. She (forgive me if u are a he but u sound like a she) guessed melu melu means goat or some other livestock. I didn't remember who left that comment and i was too lazy to go look until i was sanctioned this morning. My apologies my sweets, please 4give. To the rest of u, SHAME ON YOU!

Okay, another test question: What is the meaning of Leke leke? Hint: It's an animal.

Alrighty, I have to give it to LG for not only knowing the Remedies song i was referring to, but also singing the rest of the song. You are a true son of the soil. Daughter of ur fathers, i throway salute. The title of the song is Eddie Ti de. LG, was also the first to sing the Leke leke song. This lady, u r three much! Wordsmith and Naija idol also knew the song. Kudos, my ladies. I remember singing the song and shaking my fingers whenever i saw a CATTLE EGRET (leke leke). Leke leke give me water finger...... of course after shaking ur hands that vigorously u are bound to have a white mark. Evidence of the magical powers of the leke leke :-) Growing up in naija was too fun mehn! So congrats to Allied, Chiefo and Isha who also got it right.

Jaycee, you guessed frog. Hmmm......... no comment!
Ms. O guessed Turkey or Vulture........ LOL @vulture. That cracked me the hell up!
LusciousRon guessed Dove............ i can see the similarity, so u try small
Invisible didn't know the exact animal but he knew the thing! Na so u take dey pass exam for school? As for u, invisible, ur case is serious. I am not re-proposing to u with no bank statement or whatnot. I'm broke, in fact i want to be sharing the money that u have with u. You if soak garri, i go follow u soak. No be so?

Monday, October 13, 2008


I am so sad. It's almost 2pm and i have been crying since i got to work. I can't do this anymore. I freaking hate this job. I spent the last hour talking/crying to my mentor at the lab. I don't know what i would have done if i didn't have him to talk to. 2008 wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to lose all my friends and be virtually friendless. Most of the time the highlight of my day is when i read the comments you guys leave on this blog and at lot of them are so funny, i just can't help laughing regardless of how i've been feeling. I don't talk about it much but this blog/you guys mean a lot to me cos i don't know how i would have gone through this year without having this outlet. I probably would have been a depressed mess, albeit a cute one (Ha! just had to add that). See what you caused, now i've lost my train of thought.

I wasn't supposed to still be at this job by now taking all this mess. I was supposed to be in medical school................! I hate the people (some of them), the environment, everything! I have decided that this job is threatening the well being of my mental health. I do not want to end up as a patient in the mental hospital where i work. Therefore, i'm back on the job hunt. I need to find another full time job so i can leave this place without showing my ass. Oh! I have been so tempted to unleash my bitchiness to some of the people here. I am a naturally sarcastic person, and it's been really hard to keep it professional and be respectful to some of these people. I've had enough. I don't want to lose my temper cos when i do, i usually don't care where i am. I go don craze finish before i remember where i dey. Trust me, i speak from experience. So i want to leave b4 it gets to that level. I wish the psychiatric hospital job was a full time thing, i would have quit today!

This ungrateful idiot at the lab that thinks i'm her personal slave has just asked me to stain some slides today. After asking me if i'm busy, i told her i was going to do stuff in the breeding colony and she was like what next........ go home?! What the fuck kind of question is that? I just said, tell me what u want me to do and i will do it, because if i had replied her what was on my mind, i would have been telling u another story. Let me die if i stain those slides today. Tomorrow, maybe! If she needs help she needs to get an undergrad assigned to her. I'm sick of doing her shit without so much as a thank you. The other day, it was already 5.30pm, everyone had gone home, i was trying to pack the biohazard waste so i could take it to the designated place, this bitch proceeds to tell me on her way out that before i leave i should fill up the deionized water container. The container wasn't even empty. I was so pissed. Of course, i didn't fill it up. She dey craze.

Deep breath! Calm down............. I need to get through the rest of the day.

Friday, October 10, 2008

I don tire like Styl plus tire!

I don't know what's going on with me today. I'm on edge.... i feel like i'm about to hurt somebody at this damn job. I'm stressed, depressed, and overwhelmed. I've been chewing starbursts since i got here like it's crack or something. I hate this damn job more with each passing day. I'm talking about the lab job in case u r wondering. The hospital job is still alright but they called me yesterday and i didn't pick up. I didn't feel like going in at 11pm after i had already made myself comfortable under my comforter. I need the money but i couldn't! I feel since i put i was available to work Thursday nights, and they chose not to schedule me in advance, then don't call me when the person u put instead of me doesn't show up. Then again, they might have needed someone to do a 1:1 and God knows as stressed as i have been, i can't deal with no added stress in whatever form. I don't want to kill somebody.

I can't believe no one knows the meaning of melu melu. Did any of u grow up in naija for real, for real? You ought to be ashamed of urselves. As it is, I'm canceling the damn class. If u don't know the meaning of melu melu, where do u expect me to start teaching from. Besides after i have revealed God knows what about myself, i bet u guys would use it against me when i become the next Michelle and Barack Obama (yes, the two of them combined). So I'll keep my mouth shut. Thank you very much.

Anyway, I've got enough shit to deal with. I have been writing essays for my med applications like it's going out of fashion. Let's not talk about all the money i have been spending. If i don't get into at least one med school next yr, there will be war. I don tire. I'm writing basically the same essays with different twists. Some of them ask me to tell them of a time when i did this or that. The this or that, i have never done. So do they want me to lie? I haven't completed one application because of that, so I'm about to sit my ass down and think of a very good story to write. All because i want to become a doctor. Na wa! My friends in Nigeria did not have to go through this stress just to get into med school. Now they will come here, write the exam, pass it and go start their residency without all the gbese of a student loan to worry about. I should have stayed my ass in Nigeria to go to med school, abeg! This is getting too much.

Monday, October 6, 2008

GTKM 1101 - Get to Know Me

Course Description

Introduction to the life and times of a mildy psycho Nigerian scorpio. Issues, dramadies and a whole lot of fun stuff. Special emphasis on all things (guys) cute.

4.000 Credit hours

As this is an honors class, you guys have been given the freedom to suggest (Keyword: suggest) the course content. Your suggestions will help me formulate a lesson plan (not that i need help, i'm just trying to be a good professor eh hen!). So eyin Blogsville, what would you like to learn about Ms. Wonderful herself. What do u mean who is Ms. Wonderful? Me of course, abeg stay with the program, no dulling allowed in this class.

Example of questions include:

Favorite hang out spots.............. on the internet! Ha! (No, i don't watch porn! Regularly......... I mean, at all)

So Ask and you (might) receive! I'm not God, so i can't say, ask and you shall receive.
Hit me!
Yours truly,
Dr. Mrs. Chief, Barrister, Honorable, Melu melu Sting IV Esq. (Professor in Charge).

P.S. This course is to be taken seriously. A grade below a B will result in immediate expulsion from college. I reserve the right to kick out any trouble makers in my classroom. Hooliganism, and tomfoolery will not be tolerated. Also, i have a zero tolerance for dullness. So please no dulling. Trolls are also not welcome.

The first person to get this question becomes the teachers pet. What does Melu melu mean?

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Naija for Life!

Today was our independence day. Naija was 48yrs old today. They say a fool at 40 is a fool 4ver! I know for sure that Nigeria was a fool at 40................ would it be safe to say that Nigeria is going to be a fool forever? Things are not any better than they were 8yrs ago, IMHO. Be that as it may, i LOOOOOOVE Nigeria, all day, everyday. Naija for life!!!!! Beautiful Nigerian People!

Do you see Lenie repping Naija in his green hoodie? That dog don't play. His middle name is not Teju for nothing. He's a true Nigerian son of the soil.

So as u can see, i repped Naija today. I'm very proud to be Nigerian. I really don't care about the bad reputation we have these days for being shady. I know i'm not shady. Everyone i know and love works hard for their money. So i continue to be myself and be a good example of what a TRUE Nigerian is. Happy Independence day. I can't wait to go home to go eat some good yam and egg stew.Oh! The thoughts of suya........ Good naija girl, abeg put me for inside ur luggage naw, biko! What's pls in yoruba?

P.S. I don go buy this hoodie a couple of weeks ago, only for ATL not to cold. Monday and Tuesday was warm. I been don dey vex say i no go fit wear this sweater, cos i didn't buy the green shirt i was looking at. Lo and behold, it was chilly today. Ha!

I hope y'all have seen the count down clock to my birthday. Eh hen! I don't want to be hearing any kind story story on that day.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008


I am such a dork, you guys. I have been having a bad couple of days. Didn't bother going to work yesterday cos i wasn't feeling too well and the thought of being in that place just added to my depression. So i dragged my butt to work today and managed to get in b4 11.30am. I won't be surprised if i'm fired one of these days. My only excuse is that i'm a good worker, i just operate on african time. Anyway, so here i am at work moping, i go upstairs to get some packages and who do i see when i get on the elevator to go back to the lab............. My crush. He was looking as cute as ever and all my moodiness just went away. Besides the usual hi i would have expected, he starts trying to make conversation with me and was really being all friendly. That just made my day. Unfortunately, it was a VERY short ride and i had to get off b4 him. I'm just excited about it for some reason. He was totally checking me out too. I don't care what anyone says he might like me. I'm allowed to dream, right? So pls don't go bursting my bubble. I hope i see him again soon. Damn, he's cute!

Saturday, September 27, 2008


Today was a CRAZY day at the hospital. Pun very much intended. If i had any doubts that i worked in a psychiatric hospital before today, after the 16 hr ordeal i have been through those doubts have been put to rest. It must be a full moon cos there is no other explanation for the madness that occurred today. Once again, pun intended. One patient was involved in 3 fights with 2 pple that sent the recipients of his sucker punch to the hospital. One ended up with a deep cut close to the eye and another one ended up with a sprained arm and swollen head.

Another patient was wilding out all day to say the least. Think about all your stereotypical images of a crazy person and she was it. She slapped a fellow patient and jacked her head on the wall, she also smacked that same patient with her shoes. Then later one she went a bitch slapped an unsuspecting patient who was sitting minding his own business for no reason. They she almost broke a chair on a staff, and then proceeded to start punching another staff who forgot herself for a moment and hit her back (staff is not supposed to fight back). This was just the highlights of the day. I cannot even begin the skim the surface of the events of the day. We had four patients on intensive watch and we were short staffed. It was total chaos!

It's so easy to forget that i'm in a mental hospital cos sometimes majority of the people are normal or having a good day depending on the unit i'm on. Today was bastard. Their craziness was in full force and i hate to use that word, but there's no other word to use. Then for some reason i was so pissed off by the 21 yr old who was very disrespectful to me and kept calling me a little girl whenever i asked him to do anything. He said why should he listen to a 13 yr old. Normally i wouldn't be pissed cos i know i look young, but today was just a bad day. He managed to get on my nerves and i told him my baby brother is older than him and he needs to shut up and get inside like i told him to. I just didn't care about professionalism at that point. I had had enough. I have to be back there in six hours so i need to go get whatever sleep i can cram in.

BTW, i have concluded that guys in ATL ain't about nothing. There are a couple of them i'm very tempted to slap right now, but they are not even worth that energy. Idiots! How are u going to email me when u have my number, ask me if i'm still interested in going to the aquarium and i reply in the affirmative then you don't bother replying back for 2 weeks?!!What type of shit is that? Then there's the other one that has even managed to annoy me more that this one. In fact, he is dead to me, so no need to talk about him. Bloody fool!

Jesus! I just discovered that my dog snores like a human being. Fear catch me. I would never have thot that. Has anyone ever heard a dog snore? I was shocked just now cos i heard snoring and it's just me and him in the room. I turned down my TV, lo and behold, Monsieur St. Lenie Esq is snoring like an old man. Chineke, God in heaven, wonders shall never end.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Adventures of a dog walker

You guys should help me thank Baba J oh! It's a miracle that i'm alive and still breathing. Seriously, that's how one black devil in disguise aka pit bull almost ate me and Lenie for dinner. God! I have never been so scared in my life, see me see death. I said Lord, i'm not ready. I'm not ready, save meeeeeeeeeeeeeee............................. So here i was jejely walking my dog, minding my own business, the next thing i see, this black ugly beast of a dog comes charging towards me and Lenie. He doesn't even bark. I start screaming, "come get ur dog" For where, nobody shows up. First of all, tell me why should they chain that kind of dog in a yard that has no fence?! I start backing into the street, the dog was right on top Lenie, sniffing him with a very mean look on it's face (or maybe the beast is just ugly, i don't know). By this time i was all the way in the middle of the road oh. I no care whether car dey come. I just wanted to get away. This street that is usually so busy was empty at a time when i needed someone. When i backed all the way to the other side of the street, this dog raises his head and looks me straight in the eye. Hey! I say my own done finish, i go die for here today.

Foolish owner of dog, did not hear my weak screams. I was shaking like a fool. I'm such a wuss. Thankfully, a car drove down, and the dog turned and went back into his yard. As soon as the car drove away, he comes charging back with full speed towards us. But this time there's another dude that's walking and he manages to scare him away. The same thing happened yesterday with another dog, but thankfully the owners were outside and were able to pull him away. I'm getting sick and tired of these irresponsible dog owners that live in my neighborhood. Don't have a man eating animal, call it a dog and then refuse to build a fence. It seems like all the dogs in my neighborhood are pit bulls or rottweilers or any other ugly dog with the potential to kill someone. I don't care as long as they are behind a fence barking their little hearts out. Just don't come charging at me almost giving me a heart attack/making me pee my pants, while ur irresponsible owner is chilling inside listening to my girlish screams. I don't like embarrassing myself like that abeg. They want to ruin my rep in that neighborhood.

BTW, i have the worst crush ever on this dude. He is in charge of something something that has to do with chemicals and waste management and that type of stuff. I attended a training session that he held on how to use this new program and i just wanted to run away the entire time. I couldn't even look at his face. I'm very uncomfortable around guys i'm attracted to. He is too too cute. He has the kind of chipmunky face that i like. I'm almost drooling just thinking about him. So anyway, after the initial training session 2 weeks ago, i had some problems adding inventory to the program, so he came down to the lab to help me out yesterday. You would think my attraction to him would have lessened. It's worse. He is freaking tall ( i don't necessarily like tall guys but i like this one). The way i was acting it was like i couldn't wait for him to leave cos i was so uncomfortable. He had a stain on his shirt, and i was tempted to dust it off, just to touch him (sexual harrasment anyone?!), but i behaved myself and just told him about it. After he left, to my eternal shame i went to search for him on facebook. I'm finished! No hope for me.

Life is not fair! I'm angry. How come i'm not attracted to any of the guys that ask me out? They are all borderline ugly/unattractive. WHY? Why do the cute ones like this not talk to me? I'm angry, seriously, seriously angry. He has graciously asked me to call him up whenever i have any questions or problems with the program. I'm tempted to take him up on that offer even though i have mastered the whole thing. I just have to cook up a problem if i can grow the balls to do so. I could add him on facebook too, but that would just be superweird. I've never done that b4 and i hate the thing (facebook) anyway. HELP me lord, do not abandon me at the point of my need (abi, no be so dem take dey talk am?)

Monday, September 22, 2008


So, my pipo, i have been given an award by Ms Dee. I am now officially a certified honest blogger. No be small thing oh! I was an honest blogger b4 (abi i dey lie?), now i'm CERTIFIED.

Big words, big words, calm down my sister (side note to self).

It is really not a small something (LOL, i'm a fool). Anyway, first and foremost, i would like to thank Baba J. aka Baby Jesus or Just God! (Just Jack!) for granting me this award (if i was a good christian now, i for quote bible for here, but alas....). I would also like to thank Sally aka my non existent social life (yes, her name is Sally) for giving me the time to sit in front of my computer and type half of the nonsense i write. (Sally is also the name of one of my patient's vagina (Na she name her vagina Sally oh, no be me), but i bet u didn't want to know that. Well, that's ur punishment for reading this blog. The unneccassary information i like to throw out there from time to time).

Finally, i would like to dedicate this award to my one and only true love D'banj, or Skibanj as his jamaican friends call him, the only sugar in my tea, cockroach in my cupboard, pain in my arse and thorn in my throat. I go born ibeji for u. You know i'm nice like ofada rice, i 'll be your witch, if u'll be my wizard. I lof u! (Na so one of the naija nurses for my job, tell im wife say e lof am! I wan die for laugh).

I'm supposed to pass the award along. Hmm.... Do i have to? I mean, i worked hard for this shit.I have cried blood and shed tears. Everytime i write a blog post, i lose 10lbs, now they want me to pass the award. I no dey like that kind thing oh!

Anyway, here are the rules
  1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of the person who gave you the award, and link the person back.
  2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
  3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with an award.
  4. And then pass it on!

Well, i'm not passing it on. I refuse..................

Na lie, i dey work. Make i go b4 them sack me. I will pass on the award when i get a chance. I need a separate post for that. Una know say my own must different, i no dey gree do wetin i suppose to do. But una too many for blogville, and i need to think about who i pick. Ciao, pple and btw i'm eating a banana for lunch today. Another unnecessary info that i know u r dying to hear, and pls cos i know u guys have rotten minds in blogville, it's a regular banana oh. Abeg.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Gray area on Gold digging

Guys, i don tire. Me and my dog went on an hour long walk today. It was so funny how when we came home, he ate, lay down and crashed. I'm happy, he has too much energy abeg! So onto my gist. Anybody that has been reading this blog knows that i have a "thing" for cute guys. God help me. So there's this cutie that i knew from afar. We both knew each other, but we were not on talking terms. We went to the same private lesson (all u naija pple know what i'm talking about) when we were about 14 yrs old, but he came to the states in like '98. Anyway, a couple of years ago i got to speak to him, and after listening to him for a minute, tears came to my eyes. How could God have wasted such a fine face on such a prick, i would never understand. I can't!

He went on about how he doesn't date naija girls cos we are all gold diggers (in my mind i'm thinking, which gold this fool get wey person wan dig?), then he went on to say that my friend who lives in the same state as him should come around so that he can look at her. WTF?! You don't date naija girls, but u would do her the favor of checking her out to see if u can manage her??!!!! I almost slapped him through that phone. I swear to God. When he was rattling off his number, neither of us bothered to take it down. I just dey vex. See fine boy wey just waste like that. E still dey pain me. Mschewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, that was the first time i heard Nigerian girls are supposed to be certified gold diggers. I didn't pay too much attention to him anyway, cos anybody that hates where they are from, and the people, might as well go hang themself cos that means they hate themselves. Which reminds me of The Gambian, who hates gambian girls but wants to date me cos i'm different. Ok....... pls explain. I might not be from Gambia but i'm African, and it's very likely i'll be similar to a Gambian chic, at least in my principles and values. That boy is just a fool, more about him in a minute cos he's a crucial part of this gist.

So in the last few months, a couple of guys that want to wife me (another story for another day) have told me that one of the main things they love about me is that i'm not materialistic. I was truly surprised. Since when did that become a compliment/criteria for choosing a wife? So i asked the last person that said that to me why that was such a big deal or even an issue to begin with. He said that a lot of girls in Nigeria judge your worth based on how much u have and how much they can get from u. They won't date u if u don't have money and all that good stuff. One of my friends actually told me that his girlfriend left him after he totaled his car cos she said she can't date a boy without a car, and this was after they had been together for years. I found that hard to believe at the time. I just felt there was more to it than that.

Anyway, i have never had close female friends that like to "chop" guys money. However, this one friend that i had last yr kind of exposed me a little bit to the mentality some girls have. They feel that just for the simple fact that they are females, they are entitled to whatever they can get out of guys. If they as much as look at u and smile, then u better be ready to pay up one way or the other. There were a number of guys who were trying to date her, even though she KNEW she would never date these guys she would accept stuff from them. One of them even took her shopping, and she went along and really picked stuff. We both knew the only reason that boy took her shopping was cos he wanted something from her, yet she went along even though she had no intention of dating that guy. Is that not why guys would think we are materialistic? At the end of the day, when the guy saw he wasn't making any headway and she kept on making requests, he called her a user to her face. How embarrassing is that? Shame for catch me if na me.

Which brings me to the perfect example of a guy who has bought into the notion that all women are materialistic and we can be bought with a few nice things. Me and The Gambian!!! So back then when i was still studying for the blasted MCAT, i was sitting on my own jejely in the library and this dude walks up to me. I initially thot he was walking past me cos that's how he acted, then he stopped and exclaimed that i was studying for the MCAT cos he saw my books. He said he wanted to go to med school too and all that jazz. He starts talking, asks if he can sit down, i was in a good mood that day, so i let him sit. Long story short, he says he would like to be my friend, we exchange numbers and i thot that was that. Later that evening, he calls and that's when i found out that he had seen me earlier and had pretended to be walking by just to talk to me. Then he goes on to say that he would have a surprise for me the next day. I'm wondering what in the world he is talking about but i didn't pay that too much attention.

The next day comes, this dude tracks me down and tells me to come to his car with him that he has a surprise for me. I told him that i had no intention of packing my books up just to walk to his car with him and that i would call him when i was done studying for the day. Then i called my friend in TX and ask him if i should go to the dude's car with him to see the "surprise". First of all, my friend refused to believe i had just met the guy a day b4, but the amebo in him wanted to know what the surprise was, so he told me to go and let him know. We get to the car, which he wants me to seat in by all means, i refused. Then he proceeds to bring out a black plastic bag. I open the bag and there's some bootleg "designer" perfume in there. He was like, it's very expensive, i have the male version (strike one). He takes out his perfume from his glove box and sprays it (strike two). Good lord! What in the world of all that's good and holy is that smell?!!! Sosorobia, but then again i'm not a perfume person.

Then there's another box inside the plastic bag that he tells me not to open until i get home. As e dey talk am, na so i dey grab the box dey open am. I'm like what's in the box that i can't see until i get home. Lo and behold, it was a Coach purse. I should have been impressed abi, but i wasn't. First of all, that dude doesn't know me. I don't like trends. If someone gave me the most expensive louis vuitton purse, i wouldn't carry it cos EVERYBODY and their maama has one, talkless of Coach. I would carry a $40 non designer purse b4 i carry a Coach purse. That's just me. I think it's so unoriginal to do what everyone else is doing, not that there's anything wrong with a Coach purse or whatever designer anything that's in style or vogue or fashion or whatever you want to call it. Secondly, i felt insulted that he would get me those stuff cos he was obviously trying to buy me. WTF?!! He was just trying to get a short cut into my panties and that pissed me the hell off. I asked him why in the world he would get me stuff when he just met me, and he said he likes to make pple he cares about happy. Wetin be that? When did i get on that list of pple? I still don't understand the logic. I asked him point blank if he was trying to buy me and he gave me another bullshit answer.

Then, as he drives me to the packing lot where my car was, he hands me a couple of pictures. The first one was a picture of his living room and his plasma screen TV in particular, and the second one was of his closet full of clothes (he had gone on and on about the designer clothes he likes to wear the day b4). You guys think i'm making this shit up, don't you? I kid u not!!! I was like, what is this for? He gave me a lame ass excuse that his sister took the pictures and he was just showing me. I asked him what was he showing me for, and he stammered his way through that. I couldn't wait to get out of his damn jeep. As i got down, i jejely left his coach purse and perfume in the back of the car where i had put it initially. He was too busy talking about how he wanted to spend time with me to notice. I could go on and on about more of the nonsense that he vomited but i'll stop here. The question is, why would he do that? WHY? Am i overreacting, or does anyone else think something is wrong with that picture?

I just concluded that it was a tactic he had tried with other females before and it worked. That's the only reason he would do that. When i went on about why he would buy me a gift and how i didn't feel comfortable accepting it. His response was, "this is why i don't date Africans. Y'all are too difficult". That statement alone sealed his fate. What nonsense! Thunder fire u. The boy no even too fine like that oh, wey e dey open e mouth talk that one. My point is, somewhere along the line, he had bought into the idea that women are materialistic and it's easy to win a girl over if u buy her stuff and make her aware that you have money (trust me, he ensure that i was aware he had money both directly and indirectly). I'm sure a lot of girls have proved him right. Stuff don't make me happy so it would be very difficult for me to like a guy just because he got me something.

Then i've started hearing from my friends back in naija that the guys are becoming "materialistic". They don't want to date a female that would be a liability. Instead, they are now looking for chics from rich families and stuff like that. I have no idea how true that is cos i haven't lived in naija in a while. It just makes me wonder.

This post is long enough as it is, so i'll stop here, go brush my teeth, wash my face, rub my face cream (medicated oh, and no i don't suffer from acne), put on my retainers (that i haven't worn in a week), wrap my hair, lay on my bed, think about my boyfriend that i don't have, shake my fist at God, and crash. I'm sure u wanted to know all that. Ha!
Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

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