Re-focusing

I'm thinking of getting a tumblr account. I never thought i would consider it. I like how different people's tumblr pages (?) are so uniquely theirs. Some are really interesting. I was reading Zara's tumblr all afternoon after i came back from the library until i fell asleep. Her tumblr is way more interesting than her blog and i think she's more active there. We'll see sha. I'm finally getting more active on twitter but i'm not a hundred percent into it yet.

Even though i have 23 days left of my summer holiday (yes, i am so counting), i'm already dreading 2nd year. Hearing stories of people repeating and being kicked out has put the fear of God in me and i'm trying to focus and remove the clutter from my life. I have to go to school physically, mentally and emotionally at my best. I just have to remember to take deep breaths and ENJOY the rest of my holiday. I've put myself out there a lot more than i ever have in terms of meeting up with people, being friendly and stuff like that. I'm usually content to just chill when i come home and not see anyone, but this time i'm trying to do things differently and so far so good. 

Today, i decided to stop being a chicken and go to the library for a few hours so i can get work done. I didn't go upstairs which is the quiet study area but decided to read downstairs which is a more general study area. I wasn't trying to run into ol' dude today. Now tell me, unless you are below 10 and still learning how to read, who in their right mind reads a novel aloud to themselves? This dude, whom i first noticed because of his sagging pants and way of speaking (which i refuse to categorize because i'm being sensitive today :), decides to pull a book and start reading to himself , out loud. I mean, he wasn't shouting or anything, but it was a low hum of his voice, which was very annoying. I turned around and glared at him twice, but he was oblivious to my dagger stares. After an hour of being an obnoxious, oblivious jackass, i guess his mouth got tired and he decided to put the book back on the shelf next to where i was sitting. I made sure he say the stink eye i gave him this time. Tomorrow, i'm going back to the quiet area, old man be damned. I'll just say hi and pretend like he didn't call me twice.

I think it's really cute when someone who i'm older than with 3 years calls me little sister. He knows i'm older than him but i guess he refuses to let it register in his brain because all the time we worked together, he thought he was older than me and he treated me as such (in a big brother kind of way). I always wondered about that, until i found out he thought i was younger than him. I quickly corrected that impression but it just won't sink in. My therapist friend who is only a little older than me, has the same problem. He keeps insisting that i'm like 4 years younger than he is. I've told him the truth, he has refused to believe it. I can't shout, i have sore throat. I'm not complaining though. I've accepted my baby/young looking face. I thank God for good genes, now if i can can just lose the extra poundage, all will be well with the world. That is, until i find something else to bother me.

P.S Doesn't my new blog look remind you of Facebook? I liked it for all of one day but now i'm over it. I'm hoping it grows on me sha cos i'm not changing it.

Happy Birthday to my twin brother and sister. I can't believe how old you guys are. It definitely reminds me of my old age. Yikes!

Question???

Two things happened today. The first one i can't share but i was seriously hurt. Surprisingly, i have been able to brush it off and not internalize it or take it too personally. I've come a long way from letting how people treat me affect how i feel about myself. Yay for progress. The second thing, i just have to share. So i've taken myself to the library 3 days in a row in a bid get out the house and actually skim through the books i planned to look at this summer. As i was leaving the library this evening, there was a man who was waiting for the elevator with me. I said hi to him and turned the other way, so when the elevator came, i didn't realise it and barely dashed in before it closed. He laughed and teased me about it and i said i wasn't paying attention. Then he asked for my name, and when i told him he said that was his name too. Then he asked if i was Nigerian and i said yes......

He asked what i was doing at the library and i told him i was a med student on break and just wanted to look through some books. Come to find out he was a medical doctor studying for the Step 3. I said cool. Then he asked for my number so he could call me so we could talk. This is where mistake numero uno happened  (i should have asked for his number instead).  Then he asked me if i went out and if i wanted to go to the movies. I had already given him my number so i asked him to call me and we can figure that out (Evasion tactics). Now, this wouldn't even have been gist if the guy did not look old enough to be my father. Ok fine, i exaggerate, but the dude is late 30s/early 40s and he looked like a married man. I mean, for a Nigerian man it is highly unlikely that he's not married or at least divorced. I would be surprised if he is single. This is where mistake numero deux happened cos i failed to look at whether he wore a ring or not.

Regular me would ignore his calls and not go to that library any more. Bored me, is trying to figure out if i should "play" with him or not. I don't see myself going to the movies with him, he looks entirely too elderly for my taste but i want to talk to him and ask how old he is and if he is married. Yes, i am that bored. Should i play with him or stop looking for trouble? The first trouble that i found is troubling me back so my track record of looking for trouble this summer is poor.

On the real though, why couldn't it have been a cute, age-appropriate medical doctor driving a BMW that i met today (old man's stats, not that i care about cars). What is wrong with the universe? I go vex o!!!!!!

UPDATE: I am such a dork. I'm so freaking lily-livered. I'm sitting here laughing at myself, right now. I woke up this morning with a clear head and absolutely no desire to "play" with anything or anyone for that matter. I'm lying here, playing a game on my computer and a call comes through. I look at the number and my heart skips a beat (in actuality my heart cut as we say in naija) because i just knew it was him. Fear no let me pick the call, cos i have to be in a certain mood/frame of mind to bullshit anyone. He left me a message and the long and short of it is, i don't think i can go to that library anymore. Chei! I like that library cos it has free parking and wi-fi. Which kind wahala be this? As much as i have a sharp mouth, i don't know how to be rude to people just like that (unless we are fighting, then i have no qualms being rude to you). The guy sounds very mature on the phone, not mature like mature but mature like my dad. LOL. Me no likey at all. I mean i could talk to him and keep it platonic and professional, but i don't think that's where his head is at.

Does he have to like it?

Yesterday, i visited my old stomping grounds - where i was both a student and a staff for a total of 6 years. I enjoyed it far more than i thought even though i didn't get a chance to go to the bookstore and get a hoodie. I will try to do that cos i really want one. Besides, my school is so far from home, it would be nice to represent my alma mater there.

Last stop was a 3pm lunch with my "fake" Nigerian friend (it's an inside joke, so if you are reading and are offended by that term, don't bother yourself. I only use it with him). Anyway, as he was about to drive into Chipotle, he had to back up for this chic who i noticed had natural hair. So i said, "Everyone seems to be going natural these day. I guess it's a new trend. Is your girlfriend natural?" He was visibly irritated and was like "YES! and i hate it!" He said he doesn't like it and it's not that he has a problem with natural hair but that it doesn't look good on her. So i asked if she just started and that the early stage is usually the ugly stage (which is true, in my opinion) and he said "she's been doing this for 2 years and the worst thing is she expects me to like it". The was he said it was so funny to me and i started laughing. He was like "this is serious, we almost broke up because of this. I just like her with straight hair".

So the problem is not that he doesn't like natural hair. He just doesn't like how she looks with it. So my question is it necessary for your boyfriend to like and accept your natural hair? Since i don't have natural hair, i haven't thought about the issues that might arise in a relationship because of that so it was an interesting conversation.

*I personally think going natural for a lot of people is a trend. Some people can fully articulate why they are natural and some don't have a reason at all (not that you have to have a reason or justify anything to anyone). My older sister was trying to convince me to go natural with her (she is currently transitioning) and i asked her why she was going natural and she didn't have an answer for me. As much as i dislike trends, i don't mind this natural hair trend cos i look at old pictures of my mom's generation and they were all natural and it was pretty cool.

So the point of this post is not lost, i'll ask again, Does he have to like it and how has natural hair impacted your relationships?

Air of Mystery

ARghhhhh......WHO ARE YOU? What's going on in that head of yours? I'm curious, i'm intrigued, i'm dying to know. I hate mystery. I'm too old for all this angst but at least i had an interesting day. Thanks.

I'm wondering if this is a game i should be playing? Hmmmm.....

Break Time

When little things that shouldn't matter start to matter
When the gods of irrationality start to trump the gods of rationality
When it starts to become a crutch - a substitute for real life
When it gets real and uncomfortable and becomes really uncomfortable
When it becomes a two way mirror, where everyone can see me but i can't see anyone
When it becomes raw = vulnerable
When old hurts that never healed resurface
When i see you around blogsville and try not to remember what i never understood
When i start to fight the spirit of regret and wishes i never wished for
When i'm covered by the blanket of misery -mind over matter, mind over matter.
When i struggle to rise above the despair that threatens to eat me alive and HOPE!

(God forbid that this is a poem. It is not!)

Thank you Myne Whitman for asking after me and all the people who commented on that post asking if i was okay and thanks to Ladyguide and Baroque for asking about me on twitter and Olusimeon who asked after me on Skype (he is a much better friend to me than i am to him and i appreciate him. Muah muah. Stop blushing man! :)

* Even though i am not ready to come back on here, i decided to because this happens from time to time and i know i will get over it. The last time it happened, i pulled 385 posts off the blog and saved them as draft where they still reside till this date. It was either that or i delete the entire blog. This time i changed my template.
P.S I like my new template. I hope you do too. I need some light in my life.
P.P.S Hey Dammy Jewel and Etioye!!! Just because :)
P.P.P.S. I've been looking for trouble and i think i just found it  (:

Clarification

Someone (a non-blogger friend) asked me this evening why i didn't seem happy about winning "Best Student Blog". He got that impression from reading the post i put up. I, on the other hand, did not know that i came across that way. I guess i wrote about what i was feeling that morning without considering the fact that i wasn't being gracious. I have questioned whether i should have sent GNG a personal email instead of putting up a blog post about my "criticisms" but that post wasn't premeditated. I sat down and wrote was i was thinking with one sock and sneaker on (i was supposed to be getting ready to work out) and i will admit being pissed of at @kemi put a little fuel in my fire that morning.

With that being said, I am thankful for the win especially since i did not ask to be nominated for any specific category. You guys read my blog and nominated me and then voted for me to win and i am grateful. I highly commend GNG, HappyBBB and everyone else who worked to make the awards possible. I know there's a lot of work involved (which was why i backed out early on :) and i'm very impressed by the quality of work being put out. I understand that the awards is still a work in progress and things can only get better.

I apologize if i was ungracious earlier.
Now i shall jejely crawl back into my shell.

I say good day!

.

I have this recurring dream where i am writing an exam and don't know anything or i'm not prepared for the exam. It's funny because i've had this dream at least 10 times, different settings, different times in my life but the same dream. I dreamt about it again yesterday. I think it's because my greatest fear is (was) failing. The crazy thing is that i have actually lived this dream. My first Anatomy exam in med school 2009, i went in there not knowing anything because i was too worried about passing Genetics to study for it. The experience wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be but i rather go into an exam prepared for it.

I'm in snail mode right now. What happens to a snail when you touch it? It withdraws. So much going on right now, mostly mental. I want to shut down everything and shut out everyone. So just in case you come on here and see "This blog is open to invited readers only", just know that there are no invited readers and it would most likely be temporary. I get the urge to stop blogging and delete my blog at least once a year and i guess this is that time.

30 Day Challenge: Day 17 and Day 22

In honor of my Best Student blog win, i decided to resurrect the spirit of the 30 challenge which i abandoned a week ago and do a couple off of it.
Day 17: Something you are proud of
Day 22: Your academics.

Before i dive into that let me say this, I don't think of myself as a "Student Blogger" but i think it's really cool that when my blog was more personal, i won "Best Personal Blog" and now that it's less about my personal life and more about my academic life plus other randoms, i won "Best Student Blog". Pretty cool, don't you think?

Moving on swiftly to today's scheduled programing, My academics and Something that i'm proud of both lumped together. I think as someone who was raised in Nigeria, it's hard for me to tote my own horn and i tend to downplay my "accomplishments" by not talking about it and minimizing it when someone else brings it up. You never want to seem like you are bragging because that's not in good taste. However, there are days when i sit and reflect on how far i've come and i have to give myself a pat on the back.

When i tell people that i came to America to become a pako, they don't believe me. I pretty much paid my way through college. My dad paid for the first year of community college, after which i transferred to a 4 year college and for the rest three years i was responsible for my own tuition and books. Mind you, i didn't qualify for financial aid cos i came here with a V2 visa, so while i was not an international student since i didn't have a green card, i couldn't qualify for financial aid or scholarships. I started off working 2 days a week freshman year, and by sophomore year, i was working 4 days a week and going to school full time. By Senior year, i had 2 jobs, one at a liquor store and another at a research lab. In my last semester of senior year, i ended up leaving the liquor store and working just at the research lab because the pay was much better.

Mind you, the whole time, i was working towards getting into med school, so i had to make sure that my grades were good, i also had to participate in extracurricular activities and volunteer at a hospital, all to build up my resume and make myself more competitive for med school (hence the research). When i used to tell my friends in Nigeria that i was paying my way through school they didn't believe me and would always tease me when i say that i'm broke. I have a friend who always thinks i'm lying when i say that and he keeps telling me i should be ashamed of myself. I tell him he's a fool.

My life was pretty much class, library, work, home, study, sleep, class. Any free time i had was spent writing papers, doing homework, and studying etc I was in the Honors Program too, so i had to take honors classes which was more work. I didn't join the honors programs until Junior year even though i qualified because i didn't want more work, but i really wanted to do the honors in research track and i couldn't if i wasn't in the honors program.  I had days of being stressed where i would just sit and cry because i was so overwhelmed and miserable. There was exams i didn't do as well as i could have just because i had to work and didn't have enough time to study.

But at the end of the day,  i only had one C grade in organic chemistry (the rest were A's and B's) and me being the Ms. Perfectionist that i used to be, i retook that class in my last semester. I still didn't make an A in the class cos by then i was suffering from a severe case of senioritis and just wanted to be done, so i ended up with a B which was ok. I wouldn't do that nonsense now, but back then something was worrying me.

Anyhoodle, as i was saying, i had one C grade, graduated with a distinction in my major which was Psychology (I had a 4.0 GPA in my major), graduated Cum Laude (thanks to my pre-med classes) and graduated with Research Honors. Blood, sweat and tears. Definitely a lot of tears and sleepless nights. I took an elective class last semester - Healer's Art and in one of the sessions we talked about  adjusting to med school and work ethic. Most of the people in my small group never worked through college and they talked about having to adjust to studying all the time and not being able to have a life. When it got to my turn, i told them i had to work throughout college and it forced me to develop a strong work ethic very early because i had to learn to be disciplined and not procrastinate if i wanted to work 4 days a week and still do well in school.

If i had to do it over again, i would chose to find a little more balance and live life a little, make friends and stuff like that. I don't think that my case is unique because a lot of people have to work and go to school but it wasn't a walk in the park for me just for the simple fact that i was aiming to do well in school. I wanted to do everything possible to make sure i got into med school so i dedicated my energy into that. If i just wanted to be a mediocre student, it wouldn't have been bad at all.

Favorite class in college was definitely Honors developmental Psychology (I loved most of my psychology classes except physiological psychology) I can't tell you how many papers we had to write in that class and we were like 10 in the class so you couldn't escape scrutiny. I'm one of those students who NEVER talk in class but being in the honors program forced me to talk because sometimes 40% of your grade was class participation. I talk by force. Besides that, i loved anything History. I took all the history classes i could get my hands on.

Most hated class, hands down was an Honors colloquium i had to take on Irish literature. I HATED THAT CLASS. First of all, forget the honors part, that class was for 3rd- 4th year English majors. I was a science major and have been taking science classes since ss1. I don't do that abstract thinking nonsense. Most of the time i was in the class was spent in bafflement. That class made me HATE poetry. OMG! I hate poems, and i didn't before taking that class. The woman kept teaching us like everyone in the class was an English major, whereas since it was an honor colloquim it consisted people from different majors. Plus we had to write our papers in MLA style and being a pysch major i was used to writing in APA. I had to put out numerous SOS to my English major friend at Morgan State and at the end of the day, i ended up with a B+ in the class simply because i never spoke a word in class, so i didn't get any participation points. I had nothing to say cos i didn't know where they where pulling shit out from, like how does that line of poetry translate to what you just said? Where did you get that from? I never missed physics and chemistry as much as i did while taking that class.

And that my friends, is all she wrote, a whole lot of nothing. Enjoy the rest of your week guys. I feel like a lump of lard. How people enjoy being couch potatoes, i don't know.

Let's dissect

No, not cadavers......issues. There are two interesting FB statuses i saw today that caught my attention.

• Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it is a waste of time.There are too many mediocre things in life...love shouldn't be one of them.......

When i saw this first one, fear catch me. At first glance it might seem romantic and awwww worthy but in my mind, mad, passionate, and love don't go together. I believe it's too much passionate love that leads people to kill themselves and their spouses when things are not going well. There was a case in Atlanta yesterday where a man killed his estranged spouse and then himself when she came to pick up the kids. This is so common in the US i can't even count how many times have heard this exact type of story. These are regular people and while it's possible that some of them might be mentally ill, some of them are not.

Passion is the culprit. When you love something too much and can't imagine living without it. You can reach your threshold when faced with such a situation and snap. So, i don't want mad, passionate, extraordinary love. I have calm, rational love. What do you think?

• Hw do u approach a man u deeply admire, esp wen he's actin like he doesn't send u? 

This one is easy. YOU DON'T. Continue to admire him from afar and leave him alone. If he sent you, you wouldn't have to worry about approaching him. I don't believe in "toasting" a guy. If i'm interested, i'll give him the green light by making time to talk to him and being friendly. That way he doesn't have to rack his brains as to whether i like him or not. He can do the approaching. If a guy is acting like he doesn't send me, it doesn't matter how interested i am, I let it go. That is not a good start to anything. I can't imagine asking a guy out, first out all, the balance of power at least initially has shifted in his favor, afterall, na you dey find am, so he can do you anyhow. Of course if he likes you back and he's a reasonable guy, then it won't matter if you asked him or not, but most guys are not reasonable and i don't think it's a chance worth taking.

Long story short, you like a guy, he's acting like he doesn't send you, chances are he doesn't really send you. Leave the matter. Abi, how u see am?

Best Student Blog

Thanks to everyone who voted for me. I appreciate it. However, this awards has left a weird taste (not really bitter :) in my mouth. I could be content with the fact that i won, and go about my merry way but that has never been my style. Where's the fun in that? J/k. Whatever i concerns i have are in no way directed at the organisers of the award, who i admire and am very impressed with, by the way. It has to do with the people who voted and i guess the voting process. There's a flaw in there that's not working for me at all.

I'm here wondering whether i won "Best Student Blog" because i really have the best student blog or whether it's because i campaigned and knew more people than the other bloggers in my category. As much as i "campaigned" I don't want to win if i don't deserve it. I started out watching the awards on twitter and after Sarah Ofili won for best beauty blog, I went back to playing my game. I don't have anything against Sarah Ofili who happens to be on my blog roll, but it makes no sense to me that she would win when she has updated her blog 8 times this year, as opposed to someone who has updated 95 times with more beauty content that someone can actually learn from. I'm not going to speak on the other categories because frankly i didn't pay attention after that. Like i said, i went back to playing my game.

I'm not criticizing the organizers because i've been there before having organized the first one in 2009. I just think the awards has greatly evolved over the last couple of years and a lot more people are interested and participating in it. Left to me, non-bloggers should not be allowed to vote. I was looking at my timeline today and someone @kemiii or something asked "who the f is that?" after i won. I wanted to slap him/her after i saw that. What do you mean "Who the fuck is that?" What happened to "Who is that?". I've been blogging since two thousand and freaking seven. Who the fuck are you? I finally believe such a thing as "twitter bloggers" exist. I didn't believe before.

Memoirs of a woman with Chutzpah? If anyone is suspicious cheating in the awards went on, they should look at the fact that she won all her categories and know that no such thing occurred. I have never heard or read her blog before she was nominated and after nominations, i added her to my blog roll. I'm still trying to understand. I like her template. She has a sense of humor but her posts are difficult to read. There! I said it. Bite me.

Before i step off my soapbox and onto my treadmill which eagerly awaits, i have to reiterate that I DO NOT THINK ANY CHEATING ON THE PART OF THE ORGANIZERS TOOK PLACE.  I think the awards has grown in leaps and bounds and as such changes to the voting process needs to take place. It shouldn't be easy for me to call my friends, family members or all my co-workers who don't even read blogs to go vote for me (I didn't do that, by the way) but apparently some people did.

With being said, thanks to everyone who really likes and enjoys reading my blog. I appreciate it. I apologize in advance if i offended anyone, it's really nothing personal.

I sayz it like i seez it.

Question???

 I used to hate being a girl when i was about 11 and 12. I was something of a tomboy, not hardcore but i refused to wear dresses or skirts. It has carried over till today and i had to go out of my way to get some dresses last summer which i wore a few times.

Anyway, to me one of the worst things about being female is.........I can't decide. There definitely a tie between having to wear a bra and having a MONTHLY period. I have friends whose periods last for 7 days. I was at my mentor's practice and there was a patient who came in and she had a period every two weeks (her's lasted for 2 weeks for most of her life. Fear catch me now. They were trying to get her "stabilized" using birth control and it wasn't working. Anyway, that freaking sucks, is all i can say.

There is a lot more sucky things about being female one of which is the fact that whether we like it or not, admit it or not, it's a man's world. There are a lot of double standards. With that being said, i love being female and wouldn't change it for the world. To all my lady readers, I have a question for you....What do you think is the worst thing about being female? Absolute worst thing you can live without.

30 Day Challenge:Day 15 - Your Zodiac Sign and If You Think it fits your Personality

In case you didn't know by now (and i would be really worried about you if you didn't), I am a scorpio. It's written all over this blog. Born oct 29 sometime in the 1960's :)

What are scorpio's known for? I don't know jor and right now i'm too lazy to look it up. My sister just gave me her homework to help her with. I need to find the causes of cyclothymia and make a powerpoint of it and it's due on Wednesday.

So yeah, i'm a scorpio and from what i've read about scorpios in the past, i think it fits my personality.

And that my friends is all she wrote!

30 Day Challenge : Day 14 - What you wore today

Well, if i was a fashonista blogger this would have been an interesting read for you guys. Unfortunately, i'm neither a "fashionista" blogger nor i'm a too interested in what i put on. I don't like to dress up but when i do, i like to look good because its a confidence booster, of course. I don't own a pair of heels........but that's not what this post is about :) I'll say this though, I'll pick comfort over fashion any day any time. My mom told me when i was a teenager and i was complaining to her about not having the kind of clothes other girls had, and she said "you look good regardless of what you have on". She was right :) That has stuck with me till this day, which is why i'm not too big on fashion. I guess!

As for what i wore today......I was home all day, so i had on a T-shirt which says "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you" and a pair of shorts.

Confession: It's 7.18pm and i haven't taken a shower. I did change from my night shirt into the t-shirt and shorts. I get credit for that right? I took a shower before i went to bed yesterday and will take one before i go to bed so i'm still within the personal hygiene guideline set by Obasanjo :)

*To my fellow 30 day Challenge blogs, i will reconsider stopping on Day 15 but i don't promise i will make it to Day 30.

30 Day Challenge : Day 13 - Your Opinion about your body and how you feel about it

I'm bored with this challenge so i've decided to stop at day 15. My opinion of my body? It could be better. I used to think i couldn't gain weight so i really didn't do anything to watch my weight. I woke up one morning and i was 166lbs. That was in August 2009 and this was my heaviest weight. It was horrible. Since then it's been a mostly mental battle to get back under 150lbs. I have dropped to 152lbs since then, but i go back up. I have been playing in the 150's for the last 2 years. I've never gone on a diet or if i'm being honest being really dedicated to losing the weight. I've been eating crap since i got home. I know if i get serious, i can easily drop the weight.

I don't like my body right now mostly because i don't recognize it anymore and i'm not comfortable with how i look. It could be worse so instead of complaining, i will work on doing something about it.

30 Day Challenge : Day 12 - Five guys you find attractive

I don't know if this calls for real life people or celebrities, so i'll do a mixture of both.

• Real life boy A: If i believed in soulmates, then i would say he was mine, only we are not destined to be together in this life time. Maybe next life. 
• Real life Boy B: Newest fine boy in my life, but i'm behaving myself. Nothing going on there. 
• Tyson Beckford
• Mario Lopez
• XYZ, XYZ.....a number of names can take this spot but none is coming to mind. 

I need a nap. 

30 Day Challenge : Day 11- Your family

I wrote about my family. Sorry i had to take it down.

30 Day Challenge : Day 10 - Put your Music Player on Shuffle and Write the First Ten Songs that Play

• Yori-yori - Bracket
• Body Vibration - Plantashun Boys 
• Good or Bad - J. Martins
• Somebody wants to Die - M.I. ft Ice Prinz
• Underrated - Id Cabasa
• Happily Eva After - Exploits
• Love's Theme - Malik Adounane 
• Do Right - Mario ft Akon
• I know you Like it - Wande Coal
• Awe - Asa

20 more days of challenge left. Tomorrow, i get to talk about my family. Excited!

* Guys, i have to tell you how i embarrassed myself today. I'm the self proclaimed queen of making a fool of myself, i'm so used to it, I don't think i get really embarrased anymore. I just laugh at myself. Yesterday, i met a fellow naija school mate as i was driving out of the parking lot in school and she was driving out. I had my sunglasses on which the last time i checked is not supposed to hamper my vision, apparently it does. I see her mouthing something to me, and i rolled down my window and start yelling "I see you changed your car", I say it like twice and she doesn't seem to be comprehending, so i take off my glasses and see that it's someone else. Then she says "I was just trying to tell you i like your tag (i have a nigerian flag as my front tag) and i say oh! I'm not close to this chic at all, compared to the person i initially thot i was talking to, so it was very awkward.

Fast forward to today. I had to help my friend make a deposit at her bank, so since i was in a hurry, i didn't double check my appearance before i left. So i go to the bank finish my transaction. As i was leaving the bank, some dude who was coming in said "let me open the door for your beautiful self" then he gives me the once over. I'm feeling cool with myself. I then drove to target and bought some candy for my niece (i always go home with a bribe). As i was about to enter my car what do i see in the reflection of my window? On my T-shirt, the sticker that tells you the size of the shirt had been on the whole time, right in front, up top where everybody could see. LOL. I just had to laugh. I was like, no wonder the dude looked me up and down, he was probably thinking, look at this lunatic. Oh well, another day another story.

** Pls remember to vote for me in the Nigerian Blog Awards. 3 days left to vote.
*** I keep thinking about when i'm going to die. I've always been very conscious of death. I'm not necessarily afraid of it. I just wonder about it. I think i'm more afraid of someone very close to me dying. I'm not sure what's going on there.

30 Day Challenge : Day 9 - How Important you think Education is

Like most Nigerians, i think education is very important. I see education as the key to a better life. I mean, i wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth so if i want to make something of my life and live comfortably then it goes without saying that i get an education so that i would have more opportunities in life. Shikena.

I was really baffled when i came to this country and saw how big a deal it was to graduate from high school aka secondary school. People are proud and feel like they have accomplished this big thing after graduating from high school. I still don't get it. I guess because in Nigeria, most people aspire to be at least college educated so a high school diploma isn't that great an achievement. These days a lot of Nigerian parents don't even consider a Bachelors degree to be that great of an achievement. I'm not saying i agree with that or not, i'm just saying that with that mentality, a lot is expected of you in terms of getting an education.

I had a lady ask me how my mom motivated us to go to school because her daughters were not too keen on the whole school thing. I didn't know how to answer her at first because in my house it went without saying that you would go to school and make something of your life. Finally, i told her my mom was very supportive and provided us with the means to succeed. We had private tutors (whether we needed them or not), I started having private tutors as early as Primary 2, we went to after school lesson (as did most of my classmates). Summer wasn't spent chilling 24/7, we went to summer lesson to prepare us for the upcoming grade (as the most kids). Most of us took GCE after SS2 and i made every paper except Physics. My younger brother in his time took the GCE after SS1 and he made all his papers. How did that happen? Private tutors. I even had my school physics teacher as my private Physics tutor (i wasn't too hot in that class) and he would teach me and a couple of other students after school on certain days and he was well paid by my mother too. Then i still had to go to lessons after that.When my brother was struggling in primary school, my mom requested they hold him back and the school headmistress refused and kept promoting him even though it was evident the dude wasn't learning anything. So after failing all his classing first term of primary 5, my mom pulled him out of that school, took him to a less "posh" school and made them demote him to primary 3. Then she got him 3 private tutors, one for each subject. When he took the common entrance in pri 5, he ended up scoring higher than everyone else has ever scored in my family.

I spent a year in Uniben before i came here and my mom still paid for private tutors in organic chemistry, general chem and phys if i remember correctly and no, i was not the only one attending these sessions. There were about 20-30 students and it was expensive too. Unlike here where people attend tutoring if they are not doing well, i think in Nigeria it's the opposite, you attend tutoring to ensure you do well. So there's no way you can be from an average home in Nigeria and not be surrounded by education.

Long story short, i think education is very important. I don't have a choice, it was pretty much shoved down my throat. lol. Just kidding.

30 Day Challenge : Day 8 - What i ate today

This is an easy one. In my head, i always think i've eaten more than i've actually eaten. Anyway, here's what i chopulated today.

Breakfast (10.00am): Oatmeal, dried cranberries, almonds and very vanilla silk soymilk
12.00pm - A cup of juice (had some medication in it). I normally wouldn't drink juice.
Lunch (1.30pm) - Rice sticks (noodles) and Tilapia
Dinner  (4.30pm) - Kelloggs Cornflakes. Cereal for dinner, always a good thing.
Snack - (7.00pm) - A sweet, juicy pear.
 Throw in a couple bottles of water and you have all i ate today.

I still haven't packed but i've gotten it down to organized chaos in there. I'm finding it really difficult to decide what i need since i'll be away for 6 weeks. My mom said to bring everything just in case, the problem with that is space. I need space for when i'm coming back so i can bring back FOOD!!! Not necessarily cooked food, but there's lots of things i can't find here that i can easily get in Atlanta. I usually hit the huge farmer's market before i leave so i can stock up on stuff, my dried flavored cranberries, spices, pita bread, orange walnut cranberry bread plus my mom does a good job of hooking me up with cooked turkey etc etc.

I listened to my audio post over and i must say i sound like a nut case. I can't believe i burst out laughing like that. Are you guys sure i'm okay? My friends in Nigeria are surprised i still have my "intonations" down. I was singing a pidgin english song for my friend over skype yesterday and he was laughing and teasing me about it. He was like, i can't believe it's been 9 years and you still got it down. Well, I never necessarily wanted to lose my accent but i won't say i made a conscious effort to lose it or keep it. I'm too lazy for that. I open my mouth and what comes out is what you have to deal with although when i'm being serious my friends (in Nigeria) accuse me of having a different accent so i opt for not being serious and speaking pidgin, then they tease me that my accent hasn't changed and i sound like a market woman. You see how you can't please anyone?

Sugabelly's Language Challenge

Sugabelly's Language Challenge by Nigerian Scorpio

Impartial panel of Judges...Yay or Nay to my Pidgin English? I say Yay, what say you?
*For the curious minds out there, Yes, i was eating when i started recording hence the weird sounds in the beginning.
*I'm supposed to provide a translation of what i said but i'm lazy right now. If you don't understand what i said and you want a translation, please let me know and i will do it :)

Rules for the challenge.
1. It DOES NOT MATTER how well you can speak your language. The goal is to speak regardless. So don't worry if you don't speak that well or you have to include lots of English words. ALL language levels are welcome.
2. Video posts or Audio posts are strongly preferred. This is because the point is to hear and enjoy the spoken language. Written posts are frowned upon but will be accepted too. ^_^
3. Please always provide a translation for your readers of other ethnicities! Translations should be in English and can be in the form of captions under a video post, or written transcripts for audio and written posts.
4. Please tag each participating post as - language challenge - and post the link here in the comments so I can link to it and make all of them easy to find.
5. Please encourage other Nigerian bloggers to post in Nigerian languages.

30 Day Challenge : Day 7 - 5 Pet Peeves

I initially thought this was going to be a toughie until i started writing. The first one on the list is my numero uno pet peeve and i didn't even have to think about it.

• People who mimic the "African" accent. This gets to me like you wouldn't believe. I don't care why the person is doing it, it comes off condescending and more often than not, they don't get the accent right and make us sound stupid instead. Even when Oprah did it once on her show, i was still pissed. No one gets a pass from me. When i first came to this country, i worked at my father's liquor store where 99% of the customers were African Americans and they did that to me a lot and not in a nice way. It was usually in a very mocking, condescending way like i was daft or something. So yeah, i know that's where my low tolerance and intense dislike of anyone mimicking the African accent comes from.
  
  
• Food network chefs who mix food with their dirty rings on their fingers. Yes, i watch too much Food Network, i know. Down home with the Neely's - Gina, i'm calling you out!!! I don't know who eats the food that they cook after the show is done but i have a HUGE problem seeing her mix food with her fingers while having multiple rings on. You might wash your hands but did you sanitize the rings? It bothers me to no end. It's just not sanitary. Of course she's not the only one who does that but she's my number one offender and she's a serial offender too. Just disgusting. This is one of the reasons i'm not a huge fan of eating out because you never know the  conditions in which your food was prepared. I've even thought of emailing Food Network about that but my joblessness hasn't gotten to that level (yet).
  
  
• People who use "your" instead of "you are". Unfortunately for me this is a common mistake but i'm still baffled that a lot of people cannot differentiate between the two.
  
  
• People following a trend blindly regardless of whether it's appropriate for them or not. Reminds me of sheep. Nough said!
  
  
• People who write text speak in emails or outside of texting . If you can write "yhu" you can definitely write "you". I don't get it and God knows i don't bother reading it. 

What is your number one pet peeve?

Shout out to visitor from Piazza, Liguri. I'm discovering all these cool places (in name at least)
*Remember to vote for me for best student blog in the Nigerian blog awards.  Please and Thank you (:
** Life really makes you know who your true friends are and when it comes down to it they are not many.  Look closely at the people you surround yourself with. When push comes to shove, are they going to have your back or are they going to be the ones shoving you? Just a thought.

30 Day Challenge : Day 6 - Your views on Mainstream music

Hello Bleeps (Bleeps is to blogger as Tweeps is to twitter. lol. I don't know where that came from but best believe i will be using it until someone gets irritated enough to wack me upside the head. Ha!) I had a weird dream last night. A girl was being sexually abused and i stood up for her against her abuser. Something i can actually do in real life. I'm just surprised i had that kind of dream in the first place.

On to today's challenge. This is actually a boring one if you ask me which might be why i decided to distract you guys with the preceding paragraph :) First off, what is mainstream music......let me do some googling :) According to Wiki, Mainstream music denotes music that is familiar and unthreatening to the masses,  for example popular music etc etc. Okay, now that i know what i'm being asked, i think the better question for me would have been, What's your views on Mainstream Nigerian music. 


95% of the songs i listen to are from Nigerian artistes. I kid you not and this has been this way for the last 9 years. I think it has to do with me wanting to start connected to Nigeria in whatever way i can and the music coming out of there is SICK these days. I love it so much. I try to keep up as best as i can but don't always succeed, hence the fact that i didn't hear Oleku until months after it was released. Favorite remix is the warri version by Yung Six.


I think we've come a long way from the days when it was just Plantashun Boys, Sunny Nneji, Eedris AbduKareem and co.. Even then i was feeling it. Now we have the loves of my music life 

• Banky W. (He broke my heart with that picture he just released. He should put his hat back on), i love his sound, his style and his swag. 
• MI (microphone magician), that dude bursts my head with his lyrics and i don't even like rap. He's the only rapper i can stand and i resisted at first until my friend forced me in 2009 to listen to Fast Girls. Dude is good. How does he come up with his line? 
• Wande Coal: I used to say he would sing at my wedding. He made me start listening to D'banj, who i didn't like initially. Wande, please release another album, it's time. I still love you even though ur blingy looked kinda small in that picture :) J/k 
• Tuface: I fell in love with this dude when he was still in Plantashun boys before his baby mama(s) days.  You can't help but love him though, he good at what he does. I'm glad he's done procreating with multiple women.
• Styl Plus: I probably listened to Iya Basira 200x when it first came out. 
• Bracket, P-Square, 9ice, Flavour, Timaya, Terry G etc etc. Love them all. Well, that's not true. There are some i can't stand and won't listen. My friend loves Naeto C. He raps and i don't really like rap except it's coming out of MI's mouth :) I think he's alright.

I think the music coming out of Nigeria these days is awesome possum. Videos are getting better, i continue to be impressed by what people are putting out these days. Lyrical content is alright, some of them make sense others don't :) As long as the beat is good and i'm entertained, then it's all good. I really like how they combine, english/ pidgin/ and nigerian languages in their songs. It seems the more pidgin a song has and the razzer the artist, the more i like them which explains my love for Terry G.

I'll share my most recent favorite video from Eldee. I think i first saw this video end of last year and i really liked it and kept re-watching it



I listened to this a lot when i was really stressed from school. Not sure why it helped me relax cos there's nothing relaxing about Terry G.


Who's your favorite Nigerian artiste? Put me in the loop, what am i missing?
*Thank God for youtube, and gidilounge music.

Shout out to visitor from Abuja, Federal Capital Territory. Muah!

Pashmina Scarves = Excitement

So i hopped on 4aces blog today and stumbled on this video - 25 ways to tie a scarf. Funny how i'm not into clothes and shoes but i LOVE scarves. I have 2 pashmina scarves my sister got me from Quatar in 2009 that i love, love, love. What's the big deal about Pashmina scarves? Nothing really. I just love how they feel and the designs. She also got me another gray one that is pretty much a staple in my wardrobe. I have worn that scarf to the bone. So i decided to practice the different ways to tie a scarf and brought my mirror to the living room. Don't judge me, i'm bored.

My sister ( I have many by the way. This one is a Navy chief and i'm very proud of her) just came back from another deployment in Bahrain/Quatar and the only thing i asked for is scarves. She asked me how many i wanted and i said 10 and she was like "ha! You sold yourself short, i could have gotten you 20. Apparently they are very cheap over there meanwhile a 100% Pashmina scarf over here costs about $20-$30 sometimes cheaper.  I spoke to her today and she told me she had mailed them and i should get them before i leave for my trip. I decided to stop by my friend's apartment to see her mom and what do i see as soon as i open my door? A big box from my sister. My lovely Pashmina scarves. Tres excited. What a coinkidink. Totally made my day.

Guess how many? Winner gets.............

This was a test photo :)

30 Day challenge continues tomorrow.

Shout out to visitor from Basseterre, Saint George Basseterre. I think i know who comes from there. Starts with an M and ends with and F :)

30 Day Challenge : Day 5 - Things you want to say to an Ex

There are some people i don't even want to remember i ever dated and have nothing to say to them. However as soon as i saw this i knew exactly what i wanted to say and who i wanted to say it to.

• God doesn't make mistakes but i personally feel your good looks are a mistake (I've said that to him in person but it bears repeating ). You are ugly on the instead and i wish your face reflected that so people can see you and know how wicked you are. Instead you look like a cute angel with the heart of a devil. 
• How dare you open your dirty mouth and tell me "you just want to get this marriage thing over with". Do I look like a marriage hungry girl who will wed anything? Waka!
• Thank you for coming into my life because now i have proof that even the devil can look like a human being. 
• I know exactly what i heard. My hearing is perfect and i wasn't born yesterday so you can keep on denying it. You are only fooling yourself. 
• I thank God once again for saving me from myself.

*Fine boys are of the devil. RUN!
* Do as i say, not as i do. I'm still learning to run but they won't leave me alone o! Now they get 10X as much scrutiny but i still won't talk to an ugly guy. Sorry.
*But seriously, RUN!
* This was addressed to a particular ex (not multiple Exes).
Shout out to the visitor from Tewksbury, Massachusetts!