Friday, May 5, 2017


I never thought I would become one of those bloggers who went MIA. A lot of things have played into it, including not wanting to blog using the hospital or clinic computers, being super busy and have little desire to come home and do anything that was not work related. Even the work related stuff I sometimes had no energy or desire to do. I was behind on my work for months and only just caught up.

I have had serious issues with my residency program with regards to faculty and staff. There were a lot of things that happened that made it clear I wasn't treated the same as the other residents. There was a time last year where everyday there was something. I was so baffled as to what was going on and why. Little things were blown out of proportion and attributed to me. People perceived things how they wanted and it was accepted by the program director as the truth without ever hearing from me.

I remember one Saturday or Sunday after I was done with my 12 hr shift, I drove to my "adopted" auntie's house and just cried. That was the day that my eyes started opening to what was really going on. She is a Nigerian college professor and recognized what I was telling her. She said things that had I experienced without me even telling her. Even though I didn't feel better, talking to her helped me stop feeling like I was going crazy, because I had been scratching my head trying to understand what was going on and nothing was making sense. To give you an idea of what I am talking about, one of my co-residents had made a comment around that time that she felt like I was being hazed.

Well, things got worse. I am not someone who lets people walk over me so they had a challenge because I brought everything they did to my program director's attention. He was part of the problem too, so I went higher. There recently was a meeting where long story short, they admitted they haven't always handled things correctly with me, let's start afresh, clean slate. Uh hum.

As I sit here typing this I have been denied time off to go to a job interview. I can't get anytime of until July 10th as if this job will be reserved for me. This was something that was initially approved because "you guys are usually allowed time off for job interviews". Then her "boss" who was one of the people who started the campaign against me last year, sent me an email yesterday stating otherwise. When I spoke to the initial person that had approved it, it was very clear that she was flustered and did not know what to say to me. I understood what was happening so I told her it was fine. I can go to my doctor's appointment which is not about anything life threatening but I can't go for a job interview?  Talk about day light witchcraft.

Because I had never encountered anything like this before, I didn't always handle things well. I would get emotional and feel bad and waste time crying and talking to people who had no intention of helping me. Now I know what not to waste my energy on. I was upset about it yesterday and feel a bit down today. I could go to the top and get them to intervene but I'm picking my battles, although this one is not over.

The one thing that has always been in my favor is that my patients love me, both patients I meet in the hospital and my clinic patient. Not a single faculty can has anything bad to say about my patient care. That's one thing they can't control. So when I get frustrated, I focus on that.

I have said it openly to the chief resident and anyone who would listen, I would never encourage a black female of whatever origin to come to this program. I wish I had paid more attention to race and racial issues while I was applying to residency, I never would have ranked this program number 10, talkless of number one. While I am not happy that this has been my experience, I have very recently chosen to learn from this. To stop being horrified that people can hate your guts but still relate with you like they love you. The average naija person won't talk to you if they don't like you, If they have to work with you they will be civil and professional, but to go as far as acting like you are friends, is something I have never encountered before and it scares me. I can't tell based on how people treat me if they really like me or can't stand me and it's a very uncomfortable feeling.

Friday, November 25, 2016


Sometimes I hate my program...............
My faculty advisor is on my permanent shit list from today. She has been on my shitlist since May, but today it became permanent. She's never getting off!!!
Sometimes I feel like i'm in KKK nation.
People call in sick all the time. I've only ever called in sick once when I had been sick throughout the weekend, it got to Monday and I couldn't not get out of bed or speak. Come to find out, 5 people called in sick that same day. It took me over 2 weeks to clear whatever infection that was which I know for sure I got from clinic, but I only missed one day of work.

I have had an exhausting month, been running on 3-4 hours of sleep a night, I've had to show up for work without taking a shower because I could barely drag myself out of bed. On Tuesday, I actually overslept and did not wake up until 0649 and I have to be at work at 0600. My intern chose that day to not show up aka call in sick and it was a shit show. That same Tuesday, I had to have a major dental procedure and go right back to work. I have been unable to take my pain medication because I have to work and it's a narcotic. The medication i'm taking to help with inflammation is making my stomach condition flare up. I am in so much pain and overall feel like shit!

I randomly look at my schedule this morning and see that i am on 24hr call tomorrow and I'm just like nooo! I can't physically keep going.  I call the program office and ask if i can switch calls. I know it's last minute but I have been dragging myself through this week hoping to recuperate this weekend.

Long story short, because i currently feel like shit and need to go home, my advisor calls me in the hospital and insists i make an appointment to get a doctor's note. Other residents have called in sick multiple days in a row and not once has anyone else been ask to provide a doctor's note. I know this for a fact.

More than anything else, it was her tone and choice of words which made it clear she did not believe me. Would I want to leave work in the middle of the day if I was faking? I haven't lost my mind yet.


Wednesday, November 16, 2016

I can't Fux with you!

I have an annoying headache so I can't sleep and the floor is "quiet", so I figure this is a good time to blog. I've had a lot of interesting experiences that are blog worthy, but i've always been an in the moment kind of blogger. If stuff happens and I don't blog about it then, chances I will come back to it in the future are slim. For example, I never gave an update on my post about my encounter with the rude USPS clerk. Long story short, I got an apology email and was told he was reported to his immediate supervisor and the overall manager of that location. Case closed.

Is it wrong that I am giving anyone I know who could stomach voting for Trump a wide berth and side eyes? One of the residents who I would say has gone out of her way to be friends with me including inviting me to spend Christmas and Easter with her family is Republican. Fine, all well and good.After Trump won and I was going off  she said she voted for a third party republican. Okayyyy... The next day, we were arguing about Trump and racism when she said "my mom likes you and she voted for Trump". My initial response was yeah, your mom likes me and I don't think she's racist.

This lady has been very nice to me, welcoming me into her home. Her whole family has been very nice. She just baked me a huge ass pie for my birthday at the end of October. But when I walked away from that conversation which got worse the longer it lasted, including this chic telling me, they had to put up with Obama being president for the past 8 years and feeling the need to put Michelle down, when I talked about Melania even though i was trying to compare anyone, I was like hollup, hollup, hollup, something stinks and I smell closeted, subconscious racism.

I don't care how much you act like you like me, but if you can vote for a man who is against everything that I am, a black, female, immigrant, then I can't fux with you. I've always been a legal immigrant but I'm an immigrant nonetheless and this man is openly Xenophobic. I refuse to be the token black friend who you like. Mba! Keep it. How are you going to like me but can stand to vote for someone who is so openly racist. When I talked about my fear of increased overt racism, my so called friend said, It was happening under Obama, so what's going to be different? I was just like I can't deal with this bitch!

It's already fucking happening, dude! The day Trump won, 2 guys jumped out of a car and beat up this chic with a metal before grabbing her hijab and driving off. I have a very good friend from med school who wears a hijab and I'm worried about her.

I don't know o, but If i know you and you voted for Trump, I can't fux with you. You declared your myself my enemy when you decided to support that sorry excuse for a human being. I can't trust you. How can you not be repulsed by that man. How? How? How?! This is not even about politics, but as a human being, even W. Bush didn't vote for him. 53% of WHITE WOMEN vote for Trump! I'm done.

Today I got a text from her saying, I wish you were here, I can't stand these people (she was in clinic). I just look text comot eye. Who wan follow you dey do that one. Best believe I will never be going with her to her parents house. That's never happening again.

America, I hail thee. Wetin person no go see.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Do you still Blog?

Multiple people: Do you still blog?
Me: No.......Not really.

Life happened. I'm exhausted more than half the time. There's lots to talk about, but blogging has fallen to the bottom of my interests. I'm at work right now, waiting for 2 admissions to come up and I just feel blah! Unlike med school where we were contacted mostly by pagers, we use roam phones here. I'm always startled by the phone ringing which just makes my night more stressful. There have been nights where I wanted to fling the phone and smash it. I swear one night I was called at least 50 times. I wanted to scream! I hate nights! I never feel like myself on nights and it's more exhausting than days because I can never catch up on sleep.

I was working when the votes were being tallied and knew before it was called Trump was going to win. I felt sick to my stomach. Literally. I almost called in sick the next day. I'm surrounded by white people and there's no way to know who supports Trump. I just felt weird and almost paranoid and it's hard not to feel some kind of way about people who would vote a racist, sexist, xenophobic orangutan as president because you start to wonder if they share his sentiments.

It's funny how a day before the election, I had a patient who literally froze when I walked in the room tried to assist the Nurse in holding her up while she gave her her medication. She refused to take it with me in there, so the Nurse asked her if she would like her to get another Nurse.  I didn't think it had anything to do with race until we stepped outside and the nurse apologized to me about asking for my help because she did the same thing or in her words "freaked out" during the day when the black male resident went in to talk to her. I started laughing because I found it hilarious that she would be scared of me. Then the Nurse tried to understand that she's from a very small town where there are no black people (duh!) and still amused I said "I bet Black male resident was the first black person she ever saw". I don't know if that's true or not, but I was highly amused. This is 2016 for God sake. I'm not a freaking alien.

I'm not amused anymore because these are the same backward hicks who voted for Trump. Yet there many people including blacks who did not vote or voted for Harambe, the dead gorilla or some other unknown because they don't like Hillary or think their votes don't count.

People are fucking stupid!

It makes my skin crawl that Trump is going to be the President of the United States.
Racism is alive and well.
We are in for a treat.
America's very own version of Buhari's change.
What a mess!!!


I had no intention to talking about this when I started this post. I'm choosing to stick my head in the sand for the next 4 years. What's going to happen, is going to happen. Not stressing myself about this shit. I did my part, I voted for Hillary. Anyone who did not vote or threw away their vote has nothing to say.


Tuesday, August 16, 2016


When I first moved to this country, whenever someone was mean, rude, unpleasant or a jerk to me, I attributed it to them being a mean, rude, unpleasant, jerk. I didn't think they were being that way to me because of my race or my sex. I just assumed they were a shitty human being. To this day, I am not one to pull the race card. However, today was the first time in my entire life I have had to call someone a racist, son of a bitch to their face, in a room where everyone else was Caucasian, you could have heard a pin drop as I walked out as that was the last thing I said. I believe that is the best thing I could have done for myself because I would feel a whole lot worse right now if I hadn't stood up for myself.

I somehow feel violated. I feel like someone tried to come into my world and without my permission, tried to make me a victim, a victim of racism, of sexism and I had to fight a battle I wasn't prepared for and didn't want to fight this morning in other for that not to be the case. I refuse to be a victim.

I have not been this upset in a long, long time. To cut a long story short, I'll just post a copy of the complaint I submitted to the USPS.

On 8/15/2016 at 0800, I went to the post office to pick up my mail. I presented my slip to a female postal clerk and expressed to her that I was home when the mail carrier dropped off this slip but no one had tried to contact me to check if i was home and this was the second time it was occurring. The postal clerk at the next station who I would later find out from the police was named Jim, chimed in and stated that some carriers were better than others in trying to find out if someone was home before dropping off a slip. I informed the clerk that I had worked all night, got off at 0600 and had to wait until 0800 for the post office to open before going home and that wasn't fair to me as this could have been avoided. The female clerk stated that she would let her supervisor know and went back to get my mail, while Jim attended to a customer in his station. While at the counter waiting for my package to be brought to me, I placed a 25 second call regarding a patient as I am a physician. At the same time, I heard Jim stating that I couldn't be on the phone just as I was about to end the call. A second later before I had time to put my phone away, Jim reached over from his station and slammed a sign stating "no phone calls allowed" in front of me. The call during which i spoke in very low tones lasted exactly 25 secs which was how long it took for me to tell the recipient that I would call them back. I told Jim that he did not need to be rude to me as I was already getting off the phone. He proceeded to yell and berate me, telling me I was the one who was rude. I tried explaining that the call was about a patient and he told me I needed to have left my phone in my car, all the while yelling while there were other customers waiting to be attended to. I told him I wasn't being rude as the lady who was attending to me had already gone to the back to get my package. I asked him how he would feel if someone took a sign and slammed it in front of him, demonstrating exactly what he did. At this time the clerk who was helping me returned with my package. Jim once again reached over from his station and this time attempted to grab my package from the other clerk. I was fast enough to snatch it from him as he had no right or reason to try to withhold my package from me. I was upset that he did that and called him out on it. He tried to intimidate me by threatening to call the police and I asked him to do that because I hadn't done anything except stand up for myself. As i started walking away, he yelled at me not to ever come back to "this place" and I told him if they had done their job I wouldn't be there in the first place. Since he threatened that i could not come back to the USPS store, I went over to the police station and spoke to an officer about the incident. I was also concerned that my mail or mail service would be tampered with. She told me to report to his supervisor as they could not do anything about his rude behavior. She got in contact with Jim and asked if he was serious about banning me from the store and he told her he was not. I am reporting this incident because I encountered a USPS employee who was very unprofessional in carrying out his duties. He appears not know how to deal with customers and also seems to have issues controlling his temper. In addition to this he came across as a bully who tried to intimidate someone he perceived as weak. He saw a young looking, black female with a foreign accent and decided I wasn't deserving of basic courtesy. In summary, He told me to get off my phone, did not give me a chance to act on his instruction, proceeded to rudely and loudly slam a sign in front of my face, tried to seize my package, threatened me with the police for no just cause and threatened to ban me from the post office all because I told him he did not have to be rude to me and I refused to be bullied by him. I don't think it is acceptable to SLAM a sign in front a customer's face over a 25 second phone call and then yell at them to boot. I would appreciate if this incident is addressed as Jim is a poor representative of the USPS. Thank you.

While I continue to be thrown off balance by this incident, I believe this guy picked the right person. The next time he encounters a black female with an accent who may or may not know her rights, may or may not be a recent immigrant, may or may not be at the bottom of the totem pole, he would think twice before treating her like a piece of trash who has no voice.

 Dude did not see me coming this morning. I was quiet, soft spoken, probably looked mellow because I was dead tired so he thought I was an easy prey. He learned today.

Forgive the typos... I'm at work and really should be trying to nap. For me to take the time to type up this complaint, then blog about should give up an idea how upset I am by all of this.

Thursday, August 4, 2016


I am currently on a well earned and very well deserved vacation with the fam in Georgia. I'm lying here, chilling and wondering why people's idea of a vacation is to go out and do things. My ideal vacation involves doing nothing. I don't want to go anywhere, see anything, do anything except eat, sleep, maybe watch TV.

When we go on vacation we assign out inbasket to another resident to cover it. In the past, I would cover along just so the resident doesn't have to do too much. I did that on Monday, then i said fuck that shit! I'm on vacation and don't need to be doing shit. Especially when the resident who covered my inbasket on Monday told me the Nurses were been shitty to me, which i noticed but never really pay attention to.

First month of second year of residency done.... Like play like play, day dey go. It's been a crazy experience so far. My advice to people applying for residency is not to be like me during interviews. Actually take notes and ask questions. I went by gut feeling and got my number one rank choice. Have i had regrets? Many many many times. LOL. But it's all good, It's called buyer's remorse as my program is pretty decent. However, because i didn't take notes and interviewed in 19 places, they pretty much blended together which is how I ended up in a program that gets harder the higher up you go instead of the reverse. They want you to be acting like an Attending by the time you graduate. Okay now, no wahala.

Which is why the last thing i want to do is sit down and blog, hence the deadzone this blog has become. If i could dictate my blogs then we would be in business because i have lots of complaining to do about life and i can lie down and talk. Even the dictating sef, sometimes is hard for me because most times when i get home i have generalized body aches from my head to my feet and just want to sleep. Plus plenty gist. update.....

Story for another day....if ever. Although i will say this... Life is very, very funny.  Sometimes you just have to take the bull by its horn, grab its balls and squeeze it and if you get killed in the process you freaking lived.

Carpe the freaking diem! You only have one life to live my people. Live it!

So how una dey? Gist me!. What have you guys been up to? Anyone have any questions for me? Ask me and I'll answer in my next post. I still have a couple days before i go back to work, let me treat you people to some Sting time.

I started season 4 of Jenifa...Jenifa and Pelumi...LOL
Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

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