Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Gratifying

I had a long day in clinic today. I was the last person to leave because my visits ran late due to a number of things. I didn't end up writing any notes. I left and went straight to girls nights with my coresidents. My first meal of the day was a jumbo margarita at almost 8pm but it was an extremely gratifying day.

All my new patients I saw today all really liked me and they told me. It makes all the stress worth it especially when I'm just being myself. To hear someone say, you don't know how much you've done for me, I was really worried about coming here today because xyz but you were awesome, when all I did was listen and validate and encourage from one human to another. I can order labs, prescribe meds, play doctor but nothing is more important to me than the human connection.

I love what I do and I think it shows. Today was a good day.

I'm still so fucking sleep deprived though it's not even funny.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Foot in the mouth syndrome

AKA Oops!

When you tell a patient that they are doing very well for a 97year old in spite of all their medical conditions when in fact, they are ONLY 74 years old.

Yikess!!! I was only trying to be encouraging and thanks to being terribly busy, I only got a verbal report from the hospitalist who told me the pt was 97 and I didn't have time to look up the patient myself.

General: In moderate distress. Appears much older than stated age.

In my defense the patient totally looked 97

Praying to God I have a quiet night. We admit every night and so far it's been crazy busy.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

These guys ain't loyal, Sis!

First rotation done! Already done with the first week of my second rotation, although all my rotations don't run for 4 week blocks, but most do. But we are not going to get into logistics. Things have been going well.

High lights include

  1. Being told by a nurse that of all the residents she has ever worked with, I have one of the sweetest personalities..... Like, oo ma gad! 
  2. My PD saying he thinks i'm a very genuine person and someone who is always true to herself. 
  3. A patient complaint about me 0_O. I'm totally innocent :)
  4. Being pulled over for speeding but getting a warning and being escorted to my destination instead after pulling the lost physician card. Hey, hey, hey! Don't judge me. I really was lost thanks to construction, my GPS was in the process of rerouting and i wasn't paying attention to the speed limit. Plus, i guess it helped that i said i was going to the DV shelter. Perkity perk. No complaining.com 
  5. Just being content and at peace generally. 
  6. My awesome, awesome apartment. I just love...................
That is until my friend boy decided to be a daytime wizard and shatter my peace. These boys ain't loyal. This is what i get for not listening to my therapist. Don't worry about what he told me to do. I kinda was taking the slick way outish. Trying to stay in the gray area. One leg in, both facing out. Shit still sucks. He better not come back, cos imma karate kick all his teeth down his throat. Verbally! I'm still against physical violence. Urgh! I miss my therapist and therapy. I can't wait to see him at the end of the month and just cry and laugh about what a stubborn non compliant goat i am. But by then i'll be feeling better and this crap won't even matter. 

Seriously guys, if you read this post and waka pass, you will have hot pile  for the rest of the week. Stop making me feel like i'm talking to myself. Girls are not smiling. 

I still love you guys. Bye! 

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Dr. Sting loading.......

3 weeks of orientation is finally over!
I got to know my co-residents
(it was by force by fire)
We went canoeing, 
spent two days and two nights in a different city
drove down to the mothership for a procedures workshop
suffered through the horrific EMR training at one hospital together
hung out and watched the basketball finals
went to the picnic, grad dinner and dinner with the chiefs together
dubbed ourselves the coolest residents amongst the "other" residents 
in affiliated programs
Gave our group a nickname
Had pity parties at various times over the never ending orientation
Teased each other both in person and in group texts
It's amazing what 3 weeks of forced daily all day contact
 would do to a group of people
We actually like each other.
Thank God for that!

Tomorrow i will be thrown to the wolves.
 I have gone from feeling dread 
to being excited.
Like,
WOW!!!
I dreamt it
Worked my ass off
fought 
and 
I made it!
Against all odds
through blood, sweat, copious tears
and never ending lamentations
I made it!
I freaking made it.

Jesus Halleluyah Christ! 
Amazeballs

"She believed she could, so she did!" - R.S Grey

There's a testimony in there guys
but this jollof rice i'm eating
won't free me to blog properly
One hand typing is not it.

But, 
I'm thankful!
Even when i was miserable and hated what i was doing
what i was passing through
feeling like i made a mistake
hating medicine
In my rare quiet moments 
when i got a second to breath
I was always thankful

Because 
 in my darkest hours
when i couldn't see beyond my nose
talkless of seeing any light at the end of the tunnel
There was always this distant, faded memory
of the girl who dreamt of 
becoming a doctor
So she could change lives and put smiles on faces

"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards


Tomorrow
at 6am
I will walk into the hospital
The same person I was yesterday
but this time as
Sting, MD
reporting for duty

Fuck what you heard! 

"She's her mother's daughter, strong African woman"
-Me, myself and Sting

Maama I made it!
I am so proud of my mother.
She's the ultimate boss. 
All that i am and all that i will ever be
i owe to her.
She's responsible for the foundation and 
the core of my soul 
I love and honor her! 


"After a while I looked in the mirror and realized.... wow after all those hurts, scars, and bruises after all of those trials, I really made it through. 
I did it.
I survived that which was supposed to kill me.
So i straightened my crown
and walked away 
like a boss"
-Author Unknown 


To all those who have read this blog and supported me, whether silently,  or through comments and emails, my soul thanks you. Thank you. Wish me luck as i step from one journey unto the next. 


P.S. Please be prepared for me to complain about intern year just as much as i complained about med school. While everything has changed, nothing has changed. 

Monday, June 22, 2015

Fear Catch Me

Talking to my mom right now after talking to my sister who is an RN/FNP. I'm still going through residency orientation and today we were given a tour of one of the hospitals, i only saw ONE other black person in the entire hospital. Talk about pressure, i feel like i'm representing the whole black race. I don't want to be the dumb black intern, too much stuff going through my head right now. My co-residents all have the same fears i do, but i just feel like my solitary blackness is adding more pressure on me. 

I'm stressed out! 
Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

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