Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Instagram randoms


  • Follow me on Instagram @naijascorpio.......I miss you guys. There was someone I used to interact with a lot, I can't for the life of me remember who the person was. A female blogger, I think. Who was the person who asked me where I went on vacation last year and I dM'ed you? 
  • Shines brightly, I don't miss you but u can follow me if you like. 
  • I have two more Peds ED shifts left for this month. Yay! I actually enjoyed this rotation. Sick Kids are not so bad after all. 
  • Then I'm off to Atlanta GA, Montgomery AL and Orlando FL next week. 
  • My previous post was inspired by one of my secondary school best friends who recently got married and is now "very worried" about my single status because she wants me to be happy. 
  • She is one of the less than handful of people who can get away with that sort of conversation  You only get one chance to do that with me and she has used hers. I tolerated the conversation very well because I know her well enough to know she was coming from a good place. 
  • But the repetitive "is it you?" Would have gotten someone else killed. 
  • After she had finished, she started telling me not to worry. Dude, I wasn't worried, you started the conversation. People like this are the ones who can start to make someone worried. 
  • Abeg, auntie free me o!
  • I couldn't resist pointing out the fact that she was talking as if I could just go to the market and purchase a husband.
  • When she suggested that I go to church to find "that kind of man", that's where my patience ran out. I did not hesitate to tell her not to go there. 
  • She knows me well enough to back off and say, okay let's forget that side. Lol...I'm such a heathen. 
  • I really do not want a churchy religious man. I wouldn't be able to stand it. 
  • I am not wallowing in sin and debauchery. I live a very tame life. I just can't stand religion. 
  • I was recently asked when updating my insurance info what my religion was and for the first time I said "nothing". I have been feeling uncomfortable whenever I say I'm a Christian in the past. So right now I am a student of the world.
  • I still wear my buddist prayer beads daily. It has become a talisman of sorts. It reminds me to practice mindfulness. 
  • Different strokes for different folks. 
  • I've become a huge fan of Mercy Johnson. She is such a GREAT actress. For the first time in my life, a Naija movie made me cry. I was shocked at myself. This was a movie I initially did not even want to watch. Mad Couple. There was a scene in part 2 that was very touching. Maybe I'm just a romantic or I was hormonal but real tears were shed by moi. 
  •  I love Mercy! She and her clingy cloths. Thankfully, she has the body for it. God blessed her sha! Lol. 
  • I'm debating whether to braid my hair but I had sworn off braids thanks to the traction alopecia it left me with but I don tire for wigs, no be only me waka come. 

Friday, January 16, 2015

Men for sale!!!!!

Single ladies, are you tired of praying and fasting? Kabashing into the night? Standing naked facing east, holding your breasts and asking the lord to bless you with your life partner?! Anointing your whole body in olive oil blessed by Father, looking like the thanksgiving turkey before it enters the oven? Rubbing honey down there and eating copious amounts of pineapple all in a bid to hook that dude?

My sisters, are you tired of asking God if you forbid a husband or smiling like a sheep and answering "very soon" when people ask you when they will come and eat your rice when all u really want to say is "go to the market and buy rice if that what is hungering you" Are you tired of dodging from that Auntie that won't let you drink water and keep cup, who has made it her life's mission to hook you up with the most ineligible bachelors the country has to offer - like the one whose garlic breath can cure cancer, or the one who's Igbomerican fone broken/fighting-with-english accent makes every conversation a nollywood experience.

Well, cry no more, your prayers have been answered! This sale is for you!

Everything must go!!!!!!!!!! 75% off all tall, short, stout, white, black, asian, brown, yellow, ugly, not so ugly, good looking, fat, fit, half man, half beast, penis possessing homosapiens. Any variety of man you desire, we carry.

Your days of  being an unpaid and undervalued housegirl all in the name of auditioning for position of wifey, is about to be over. Come and purchase your husband!  2015 is your year!!!!!! The year you will sell your own aso ebi! Don't let this pass you by.

Our people say, "Shine your eye well during the day so you don't have to strain it at night". What are you waiting for?! Put on your clothes, leave that deliverance service, the demons stopping you from getting a husband have failed already. Tell ur enemies in the village, ntohhhhh.....They did not succeed! That your neighbor that looks at you with pity like you have a terminal illness is about to be blinded with jealousy when you show up with the man of her dreams. Your family can now stop holding family meetings on your head. Your mother can stop her never ending fasting and night vigils over your "problem". You will no longer be a prayer point in her monthly church prayer meeting. You are about to be a wife!!!!!!!!!!!!

Early Bird Special included. Come 24 hours early and and you will be entered into a contest to get an additional 25% off. That's right, play your cards right and you might get one for free.

All sales as is.
Absolutely no returns or exchanges allowed. Sales are FINAL!
Limit 1 per person. Can purchase an additional 2 as back up or to dash the less fortunate sisters in spinsterhood who can't afford it. Would make a great birthday gift.

Good character, Integrity, Maturity,  Compassion, Honesty, Trustworthiness, Caring, Intellect, Loyalty, Love, Faithfulness,  Positive attitude, Self confidence, Ability to be a good father and husband, Ambition and all those other qualities on your list for an ideal man not included.

*Additional parts sold separately.

While perusing our extensive display, you break it, you pay for it. We do not guarantee performance satisfaction. Please take that up your maker.

Hurry, this is a limited time offer. Sale ends soon!

*Most parts are not available for sale as they are no longer manufactured. You will have to manage it like that.

Sale Location: I would have to ask my friend because from the questions, statements and comments she was making yesterday, she knows where they sell men. When she tells me, I will now now come back and inform you people.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Heart break

I heard my heart shatter
into a million little pieces
shards of glass
finer than dust
an explosion of broken promises
betrayed trust
empty friendship

I watched you turn your back
and felt pain
so real
it brought me to my knees
hands outstretched
i fall flat on my face

Comatose
unresponsive
curled up in a ball of pain
misery,
unrelenting
sleep,
a distant memory
each breath harder than the last

by NaijaScorpio (Don't steal my shit)

I used to not like poems (and for the most part still don't), but i find myself writing things that can pass for poems. My heart is currently not broken, thankfully. But this was inspired by a personal experience, as are all of my (pseudo) poems. 

Would you like to read more? I have accumulated a bunch of these over the years. You might get a glimpse into some of the shit i don't talk about.

Apparently, i now suffer from insomnia! Not cool.com

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Men

I can't sleep and i have to be in the ED in 6 hours. The weather here has been bloody. It's making me rethink my rank order list. I can't deal with below zero temperature and driving in the snow anymore.
I have been watching a lot of naija movies on Iroko tv and it's so obvious how African men have it good. Society has spoilt them. Will my husband be given 6 million as a reward and hand it to me? No! But that's what a "good" wife would do. I was watching a kenyan tv show this evening and noticed how the wife was serving the husband breakfast. All i could think was, it must be nice to be a man. Men have it good in life. I still prefer being female though. I can't imagine having to walk around with a penis. The idea horrifies me. Just have something dangling between your legs all day everyday. Although some men barely have anything to dangle.

Good night 

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bia bia bia, people biko nu, I use God to beg you......common does not equal come on! I'm sick and tired of seeing everyone confuse the two. One is an adjective used to describe prevalence. It could also be a noun (google is your friend) and the other is an interjection/exclamation used to express exasperation or displeasure. Jeez! It's not that difficult.

It's getting as bad as the misuse of your vs you're. Both equally make my skin crawl. Fix it Jesus...


*Bia - come

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Old Blogsville

I was talking to a friend yesterday and he mentioned someone who passed away in undergrad right before she was supposed to start med school. So i randomly decided to google her name and i ended up on blogspot. It was a post written by a blogger and this blog had links to a lot of blogs, old blogs by people who were a part of that era of blogger (2008 and earlier). I clicked on links which took me to blogs where there were more links to other bloggers and i was just like wow! It took me back to that time where there were lot of Nigerian bloggers who blogged purely for fun. 99% of these people don't blog anymore and it made me think about the fact that i'm still here. Even though last year wasn't a great year and i wanted to quit but i'm still here. Still blogging on my own terms. I'm such a weirdo.


if you are interested in checking out old naija blogs, this blogs have good blog lists....Happy blog hopping.
http://skepticalbabe.blogspot.com/
http://overwhelmednaijababe.blogspot.com/

Did anyone read the article written by Shade Ladipo titled 5 things i learnt from Toke Makinwa in 2014. Maybe i'm slow but was she for real or was it a tongue-in-cheek article? I ask because it seemed like she was throwing major shade and i find it hard to believe anyone can be serious about some of the things she wrote eg "Take Pictures with only cute members of your family or preferably the yellow ones, cute babies and cute older uncles work"

Someone please tell me she was kidding.
Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

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