Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Thank you, Jesus

I'm so happy today is Dec 31st, 2013. I am glad 2013 is about to be over. It was such a horrible year.

2014, please be awesome. 

Monday, December 23, 2013

Sitting Duck?

It's the end of the day/beginning of a new day and i am exhausted from doing nothing. I did manage to clean my apartment, wash dishes, pack my bags and study a little bit (someone has CS this week). Jetting off tomorrow once again, I don't particularly like flying, but hey! I spent the greater past of the last 48 hours watching shows on ID. I have scared myself to the point that i am convinced someone is coming into my apartment in my absence. I'm not even kidding. When i came back from Thanksgiving, i noticed my Lilac colored towel was missing. I was bit baffled as I live alone and i enjoy a neat and tidy environment (a little bit of OCD might be going on there), so i know exactly where things are, and if they are not there, there are not a lot of places to look before i find them. It has bothered me for the last two weeks but i put it out of my mind because it makes no sense. I have pink, black, brown, green and lilac towels and the lilac was my favorite and now it just disappeared.

I have come back home and noticed my hand soap had been moved from my kitchen sink to my bathroom. I thought i was going crazy because i have no recollection of moving it there, but i just said maybe i did move it but don't remember. Then a few weeks before thanksgiving, one of the maintenance guys who lives in the building, had come in with the manager to work on my heat. The next day evening around 9ish, there's a knock on my door, i was on my phone, asked who it was and he mentioned his name, so i continued talking as i arranged myself, told the person to hold, then opened the door. He said he just wanted to make sure the heat was working fine and didn't mean to disturb me. I thought that was a bit odd but was too upset with the conversation i was having on the phone to give it much thought. 

Now after watching all these crimes shows, i am scared and feel like a sitting duck, just waiting for life to happen or not happen with no ability to defend myself. I'm not referring to this dude, just generally. I'm like, i have to go learn how to defend myself. I don't know what situation i might find myself in the future, i would like to be able to know what to do. I think a lot of those stories might have turned out differently if those ladies had some sort of self defense training. I'm not even kidding. I have always been safety conscious ever since armed robbers came into our house and robbed us when i was in Nigeria.  That experience was a blessing in disguise because none of us were hurt and all that was lost was money and jewelry, but we learnt a lot from experience. As a young female who lives alone, i have never taken my safety for granted and i don't walk around in la la land oblivious to my surroundings. Everyday as soon as i get in my car, the first thing i do is hit lock. I never assume just because i'm in my apartment complex i'm safe, so you won't catch me going to the laundry room after dark. All this was before i watched those shows yesterday and today. This is why they shouldn't let me watch TV. I actually don't feel safe anymore. 

So i decided to write a bucket list and number 2 on my list was to become a black belt in Karate which came after becoming physically fit/strong. I need to be able to whoop some ass if need be. My friend's 10 yr old daughter is a year away from reaching the first level of a black belt in karate. I'm jealous. I'm not even kidding. I think it's awesome when girls have skills to be able to defend themselves. Bad things happen everywhere. Too many sickos given free reign to roam the earth committing crimes against poor defenseless people. I'm not watching those shows anymore. I can't live like this. 

On that note, since i might be gone for a few days from this blog I was thinking of asking you guys what you think i should keep or ditch in 2014 in regard to anything. I would have allowed anonymous comments but i think some people get unruly when they are allowed to speak anonymously. I know some readers would like that option and i did make that available but less than 24 hours after i did that, someone was already talking out the side of their face. While we are at it, i think i should speak on that. I am aware of the concept of turning the other cheek and being the bigger person and being mature and all of that good stuff which sounds good on paper, but i don't necessarily subscribe to that, especially not on my blog where i answer to no one. This blog is not a democracy. I am the alpha and omega, the president, her royal highness and the queen of nigerianscorpio.com and if you come on my space and say what i don't like, depending on the way the sun is shining that day, I might just decide to slay you. Like it or not, i run this!

Damn! I just sounded like a narcissistic bitch. LOL. But hey, you can't ever say i never entertained you. 

If I don't blog before Dec. 25th, have a Merry Christmas.
Thank you for reading my blog

Shuga Naija Episodes 3 and 4

Just caught up. OMG,OMG,OMG! I'm going to need a Shuga watching partner. The excitement is too much for me continue to watch this alone. I need to talk to someone about what i'm seeing. See me stifling screams at almost 2am. It's getting really good.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Awoof dey run belle

I feel sick and I blame myself. I don't know which i prefer, cold or abdominal pain. I think i prefer having a cold. I went home for thanksgiving, my nieces were just recovering from colds and the 4 yr old still had a cough. I always take charge of her when i visit (the baby refused to send me this time), so i would always feed her. Well, she's a slow eater and not too into food so you have to talk, threaten and bribe her to chew and swallow, while all this is going on, of cause i think i'm invincible, forgetting everything i learned in my peds rotations about how these kids are a cesspool of germs and infection, so as i feed her, i eat also with the same spoon. Guess who got majorly sick after i left? Me! I had sore throat, lost my voice, had sinusitis, was coughing like a hag, as those symptoms improved, my nose started running like a mother. I had to travel and bought 3 little things of kleenex, in just one 2 hr flight, i had used up two. I cleaned my nose so much, underneath became red and sore and almost started to peel. As soon as i got home, it was straight to wet wipes. It was horrible. My runny nose just stopped 3 days ago. My schoolmate had a baby and i couldn't carry him until 2 days ago.

As i was leaving from going to see her, she offered me some Milk as she had a lot, new mom things. Like a lot of black people, i happen to be lactose intolerance and i have ONLY drank soy milk (only, only, only, exclusively) since 2004. She knows this about me, but she had Lactaid, which is supposed to be okay for lactose intolerant people as it does not have the lactose which our bodies can't breakdown. However, i had heard that some lactose intolerant people still had trouble with Lactaid, so i mentioned it to her and she said her husband who is also lactose intolerant, had it and was fine. Now, since i hadn't anything besides silk soymilk, i had no reason to think i would not be fine. So i drank the milk twice yesterday. I was perfectly fine. I stayed up until around 2am then woke up at 4ish with the worst abdominal pains ever. I have issues with my stomach, but not this type of pain. This was diffuse, crampy and intense. I've never had food poisoning in my life but it felt like this was what i had and i couldn't figure out why because i hardly ever eat out and definitely didn't eat out yesterday. I couldn't figure out why i would have diarrhea and this type of stomach pain.

So about Noon, i decide to drag myself to eat some cereal. Pick up the carton of Lactaid and that's when the light bulb finally came on. I was just like, stupid, stupid girl. I never even thought of that. I guess the people who came up with the saying "Awoof dey run belle" knew exactly what they were saying. So here i am, feeling crappy, no sleep with shit to do. I'll just respect myself and stick to my Soy milk from now on. Lactaid can go straight to the hottest part of hell for this bullshit.

I only accept sympathy in cash. Otherwise, no worry. I'm going to lie down. 

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Desperate to get into Medical School (Become a Doctor)

Read the story below. When i have time, i will talk about my opinion on what he did and share a bit on how i got into med school.

Aspiring medical student sentenced to three months in prison in MCAT hacking case By Matt Zapotosky,
Unhappy with his middling scores on the standardized test for aspiring medical students, Bosung Shim tried to hack into the Association of American Medical Colleges computer system and change them. When that didn’t work, he hired other hackers to help.
The 24-year-old Rockville man — the son of two doctors from South Korea — “felt that he really needed to go to medical school,” his attorney said in court Friday. But his desperate — though not wholly unsuccessful — attempts instead landed him in prison.

A federal judge in Alexandria sentenced Shim on Friday to three months of incarceration, followed by seven months in which he will have to report to a sort-of halfway house each night. The sentence was short of the 10-month prison term prosecutors had sought, but U.S. District Judge T.S. Ellis III said he hoped it would serve as a “beacon” to others who might be tempted to hack their way to academic success.

“This is a not insignificant sentence,” Ellis said, adding that Shim’s freedom would be “significantly curtailed.”

Shim, who pleaded guilty in October to intentionally accessing a protected computer without authorization, said in court Friday that his conduct was “completely unacceptable” and that he was ready to “take the consequences,” whatever they may be.

“I want to be, and I will be, an honest person, your honor,” he said.

In court and in written filings, prosecutors portrayed Shim as a desperate fraudster whose effort to change his Medical College Admission Test scores was one of several schemes he launched to help secure jobs and improve his medical school admission prospects.

Shim, a University of Michigan graduate, began studying computer-hacking techniques in May 2011, and the next month, he tried to hack into the University of Michigan’s computer system to change his grades — which constituted “barely over a 3.0” grade point average, according to Ellis and prosecutors.
When that attempt failed, prosecutors said, he tried a more old-fashioned approach: downloading copies of transcripts, recommendation letters and diplomas from the Internet to create a fraudulent transcript of his own. He paid $1,000 for paper similar to that used in authentic University of Michigan documents, prosecutors said.

“This is not just an isolated incident,” federal prosecutor Peter V. Roman said of Shim’s misdeeds. “This is not a one-time thing.”

Shim was legitimately awarded a bachelor’s of science in biomedical engineering in August 2011, according to a University of Michigan spokeswoman. Still, he sent his faked transcript to the Association of American Medical Colleges as part of a medical school application packet, prosecutors wrote. He also used it to help win a research position at the National Institutes of Health, prosecutors wrote. The NIH said in a statement that Shim worked as a fellow — not a full-fledged employee — from September 2012 to September 2013 and declined to comment further.

All the while, Shim struggled to earn an MCAT score to his liking. He took the test seven times between March 2009 and July 2012, and chose to receive only two scores: a 22 and a 25. Possible scores on the test range from 3 to 45.
Prosecutors wrote in court filings that Shim tried to hack into the association’s computer system in July 2012 to change his scores or to at least change the records so he could take the MCAT again. When his own efforts failed, prosecutors wrote, he paid hackers $6,000 to help him. At least one absconded with $600. While others were able to access the computer system, the association detected the intrusion and soon began shutting down databases and blocking IP addresses associated with Shim’s computers.

Roman said investigators were “looking into” possible charges against the other hackers.

Frank Trinity, chief legal officer for the Association of American Medical Colleges, said that the association ultimately thwarted Shim’s and others’ efforts to modify scores but that the intrusion into the system required costly repairs. The association ultimately spent more than $31,600 to fix the damage, authorities said. Shim admitted the hacking to Secret Service agents in March, although two months later, prosecutors wrote, he began another scheme: creating a fake graduate transcript to submit with his job and medical school applications.

Defense attorney Jeffrey Hamberger said his client, whose parents also worked as Christian missionaries in Albania, “felt the pressure to have done better than he had” in college.

“He forgot his upbringing,” Hamberger said, “and it was restored to him.”
Hamberger asked Ellis not to sentence Shim to any prison time. After the hearing, Hamberger said the sentence was a “thoughtful” one that “served the purpose the judge said it would.” Shim said he was prepared for the punishment.
“I stated in open court that whatever the consequences, I’ll take it,” he said

Monday, December 16, 2013

Innate Atheists?

If children understand that beliefs should be substantiated with evidence, as opposed to tradition, authority, revelation or faith, they will automatically work out for themselves that they are atheists - Richard Dawkins
This is hands down my favorite quote of the year!!!!!!

For the majority of people, whatever religion you are born into is the religion you practice and followers of other religions are wrong and you are right and your way is the only way. Hmmm......... Early indoctrination. Catch them young.

If i had kids right now, I would be uncomfortable with raising them in a particular religion. If they end up being religious, i want it to be something they found for themselves, because I don't believe half of these religious stuff and the only reason it's even in my consciousness is that i was raised in the church....well from the age of 9. I guess certain things stick and i don't particularly like it.

I think being religious has made our country worse. I honestly think so. A lot of people voluntarily take leave of their common sense all in the name of christianity. We now have terrorist groups, with SUICIDE bombers in Nigeria. I remember when Mutallab first tried to bomb a plane, people said no true Nigerian would be a suicide bomber. Well, I guess religious fanatism would turn the most self preserving Nigerian into a holy warrior. Sad all around.



I think this guy is mad talented - Molest the Like Button





 I love Njideka

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Shuga Naija: Ep2 (Shine Eye)



Episode 2 was so much better. But seriously, why did they cast an ugly Ekene? I'm just speaking my mind. You people should free me. He reminds me of someone i dislike and that doesn't help matters. I can't complain about his acting but for a lead male role, dem no try. What happened to all the fine boys in naija?

Life lessons from the trenches: Boarding School 103

Read 101 and 102

If all else fails and you couldn't  get water to bath, then you had to do "rub and shine". My school was kind of close of the North, so during the harmattan months, it got pretty cold. We had to learn to bath with ice cold water, mind you, our bathrooms were out in the open. I wish I could draw a picture, but I can't so use your imagination while I do my best to describe this. It was an open structure made with blocks with no roof, divided into bathroom stalls. There was no main door which you could shut. Each bathroom stall had a rod across where you could hang ur towel. If people were running late, they bathed out in the open at the very end of the dorm (that was discouraged).

So during harmattan season, even if you had water because it was so cold some people resorted to "rub and shine" which is not to be confused with a sponge bath. For the uninformed, rub and shine consists of washing your face, armpits and privates, then applying Vaseline or whatever lotion you used. Back then most of us used Vaseline or Johnson's baby oil. I wasn't a big fan of rub and shine but I did it maybe 2-3 times during my 3 years in that school and this brings me to what  happened on Wednesday. So I'm at the point in my life where I am hopping from place to place trying to find a job aka applying for residency. I got to this hotel which the program provided at a discount. First of all, they should remove the Best and the Plus from their name. They can keep western if they chose. The radiator (heater) in the room kept blowing cold air. I called the front desk and they sent their maintenance guy. By the time he came in the room, it was blowing hot air. Within an hour after he left, cold air again. I figured it would alternate between cold and hot air but that never happened.

Thankfully, I always travel with a hoodie because I have to sleep with my ears covered. I woke up at least 4 times during the night freezing my ass off. My hoodie was actually cold to touch. We had to have checked out of the hotel and be ready to take the shuttle to the program by 645am. I woke up by 545am and it was a struggle because I barely slept. Brushed my teeth, started heating up water for my tea using the coffee maker, turned on the shower which was spitting out ice cold water. The temperature outside was about 22degrees F. I let the shower run for 5 mins and checked again, still ice cold, 10 minutes later, it was still bringing out ice cold water and I was like there's no way in hell I am stepping in this shower. I just remembered being in boarding school. By this time, it was past 6, this was not the time to be calling the front desk and I was like, this people are not going to worry me. I went to boarding school and survived, I can adapt to anything. Luckily, the bathroom sink had hot water, so I put a towel on the floor and grabbed my wash cloth. My initial thought was to do rub and shine but I was like, there's hot running water from the sink why not do rub and shine deluxe, aka sponge bath. So I calmly proceeded to take a sponge bath, which worked out very well. Like I said, those people were not about to worry me.

In this instance, I think going to boarding school and having to learn to adapt to difficult situations very early on helped me not to panic and come up with a simple solution without wasting time. I got out of a lot of sticky situations in boarding school by quick thinking. I never worked on the black field (long story) and by JSS 3 I was getting out of road work which involved waking someone up at 6am on Saturday morning to go jogging on the streets of the village all in the name of exercise. I refused to be about that life back then and I had a convenient side pain which never went away. That was such a psychosomatic symptom now that i think about it.  There was the day our matron (dorm mother) fondly called Matey, caught us in dorm during class time and I wasn't quick enough to run. I just lay down, covered myself and became sick. Being that I was one of the "good girls" thanks to my innocent looking face, she believed me easily and said I should come get food from her office later that evening and go to the infirmary instead of lying alone in the dorm.The other girls she caught were not so lucky.

There was the time we had gone to steal corn from the farm and brought it back to the dorm to cook. At this time, there were only JSS3 girls in school because we had to stay back to prepare for our JSS 3 exam (Junior WAEC). The caterer, plumber and kitchen women decided to do an impromptu raid of the dorms. See chaos. I was in the first dorm, so no time to hide anything. Pots, stoves, and corn husks were stuffed into lockers. We were only allowed to have stoves to use during our Home Economics exam, but of course we started using it to cook in the dorms. Me and my friend were the first ones to go to the farm to harvest our corn. To be honest, I didn't think I was stealing because we planted the corn for our Agricultural Science project and I felt it was ours. I only harvested my row. Other girls saw us and decided to do the same. That's how that madness started. Anyway, when the Caterer who was leading the search for culprits got to me, she told them not to bother searching me because I was one of the good girls. Ha! Talk about a miracle. If only they had just opened my locker. This innocent face has saved me time and time again. I can't even lie.

Another interesting memory from my boarding school was the concept of "Tapping- exchange is no robbery". I am so amused just thinking about it. To Tap means to take someone else's property and exchange it with your own which was usually less desirable. So let's say I don't like my check anymore and I see someone else's check I prefer, I could tap it, or if I like their check belt or mattress I could tap that. To prevent my stuff being tapped, I had my name written boldly on my school uniform shirt. My skirt couldn't be tapped because I had it sewn at home so it was slightly different. But if you had a generic thing, then it was tappable and you kept hearing "exchange is no robbery". That shit is funny now that I think about it but it was just undercover stealing. LOL.

Boarding school was fun. I had so much fun in JSS2 more than any other time. I think I enjoy the memories more than actually living it because it was tough to be honest, but the friends I made there are my life long friends. We literally grew up together. Literally. They are like my sisters from another mother. I think i learnt very valuable life lessons from being a boarder. I shed a lot of my boti side, learnt the value of respect, how to adapt easily to different situations, how to deal or not deal with plenty women (lol, by the time i was done with secondary school, i was sick of girls because both schools were girls only schools. I had only male close friends for a while, but nothing can replace a good female friend. Guys don't always get it). It was a good experience but  i would think twice before i sent my kids to a boarding school in Nigeria and if i did, it definitely wouldn't be a boti school. I've heard of some boarding schools in Naija that sound like luxury hotels. What's that? If i'm sending my child to a boarding school it would be for the purpose of them learning how to adapt away from the comfort of home, not to continue to be spoiled. I'm just saying.

Hope you enjoyed my impromptu boarding school series. You can thank that hotel that should remove Best and Plus from its name located in one of the richest counties in the United States. *rolls eyes*

Life Lessons from the trenches: Boarding School 102

Read 101

The worst thing I hated about being in boarding school was that every minute of your day was planned out. I hate strict schedules and till this day, I have never been able to abide by any strict schedule that planned out my day. By JSS 3, I had started forfeiting Sunday morning breakfast because that was the only time I could sleep in if I wanted but it was at the cost of missing breakfast. We had set times in the day when we could fetch water to bath. It was after siesta either before afternoon prep or after afternoon prep before dinner. If you missed those times, then you were on your own o. What most people did was to go dorm to dorm begging people for a scoop of water from their buckets or wake up early before lights on and steal someone's bucket of water to bath.

It got to a point that some girls would leave their dirty underwear in their bucket of water to deter someone from stealing it, but believe me when I tell you that that didn't always work. It was mostly seniors that were bold enough to be stealing people's whole buckets of water like that. The rest of us, stole scoops after lights out or during dinner, or begged to share someone's bucket with them in the morning. Whenever I think of sharing water with someone, I always used to share with this chic who we went to the same primary school. She was very small, so the two of us could share a bucket of water comfortably. Whenever I ended up without water, I would run to her dorm to go ask if I could share with her and she always said yes. Sadly she passed away right after I left Nigeria from appendicitis which I'm guessing ruptured. Mschew. I was so sad. She was just too nice. Smallie. It's hard to believe she actually died.

To be continued


Life lessons from the trenches: Boarding school 101

The bible says, train up a child on the way he should go and when he is up old he will never depart from it (you can close your mouth now. Yes, it's true I just quoted the bible. Lol). From JSS1 -JSS3, I went to boarding school in one village like that. It definitely wasn't an Aje school but it wasn't  as rugged as the pro unitate school, I went to SSS in (fear no let me be boarder for that school. The seniors in that school were direct agents of lucifer and I liked my life and sanity). Back to my JSS, I think it would have been fair to say my life prior to this had not prepared me for boarding school. It was there I was first called an Ajebutter like it was the worst insult ever. I still remember how the senior spat it out at me in disgust because I wasn't sweeping the leaves on my portion of the Apian way properly. I cried because I was homesick until first term of JSS2! But in JSS2, I was placed in the same dorm room as the girl who became my best friend and partner in crime and I forgot about being homesick and got into mischief. That's when I stopped being quiet and became a troublemaker. She was accused of spoiling me and I was accused of spoiling her. We were good for each other, I guess. Our Dorm prefect was too calm and soft spoken to handle us and sometimes the A dorm prefect (we were in B) had to take it upon herself to punish us. But I'm jumping ahead.

I didn't like being in boarding school but I resigned myself to it and honestly liked it better when I went home on holidays. Twisted I know. I think I learned many skills which serve me till this day. More than anything, I learned how to adapt at a very young age. On the list of things to bring to school in JSS 1 was an iron bucket. I'm not exactly sure why it had to be an iron bucket, but that's how I started out with an iron bucket. We had a well and 3 plastic tanks for water. The plastic tanks were for drinking water and the well was for bathing water, laundry and cleaning. That's how I had to learn how to fetch water from a well, then carry the water in the iron bucket to my hostel. 

I initially started out carrying the water like a normal person, but as small as I was back then, I'm not sure who was carrying who. No be person tell me make I start to dey carry the bucket for my head. So I started carrying my bucket of water on my head because that was the only way I could make it to my dorm without stopping 10 times and spilling half the water. Second term, it's not my clear eye I used to tell my mother to buy me a plastic bucket as lots of girls had plastic buckets and it wasn't a problem. When we started we were supposed to get 2 checks (uniforms), I got my first check, then the tailor decided to pack all the abandoned checks people had left in the laundry rooms and start handing out. When he got to me, I refused to take it. Thinking back now. I'm surprised at myself (e don tey wey I stubborn). He now said that was supposed to be my second check and he was not giving me a new one, I said fine. I went weeks wearing only one check, until one senior called me to curse me out for being dirty and I told her what the tailor did. Sharp, sharp, she summoned him and I ended up getting my new check. Funny enough the next year, that senior became my mortal enemy when she flogged me 31 times (my friend who was hiding counted) and ordered me to wash a pit toilet because I was caught on a Mango tree plucking mangoes during class time. I was sick for 2 days and didn't wash the toilet. I hated her because there were 3 of us caught, and she flogged her school daughter like 10 times, the other girl like 15 times and me 31 times. I guess since I insisted on keeping a straight face and not crying or begging, she wanted to break me. I cried o, but after she left. Lol. I guess the flogging was effective because I never climbed another tree until I left that school. 

After my first term in boarding school, I came back home and started greeting my older cousins who were in university. They were shocked, like what happened to this rat. I figured since I had to respect those little rats in my school who were way younger than my cousins, I might as well respect my cousins too. I had to greet these girls, couldn't talk back, put my hand of my waist while talking to them. Woe betide you if you look them in the eye. The one wey dey pain me pass were the girls who were a year ahead of me and I knew we were the same age but by virtue of them being a class ahead, I had to respect them. By force, by fire you learn respect. 

Something happened on Wednesday this week that reminded me of boarding school, hence this post. 

To be continued

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Toni Payne - I'm a fan

I like people who think for themselves, don't follow the crowd and are not afraid to speak the(ir) truth. Toni Payne just acquired a new fan. You can find out why by reading this if you care.

I like Toke Makinwa. I think the deliveries on her vlogs are funny. I was a bit dissapointed when she said Kim K. was her role model (or something to that effect) but whatever floats her boat. I never got the Toke hate, because i don't know her and can't be bothered to waste time disliking someone who doesn't affect my life in any way. I think Linda needs to be more responsible with some of the content she posts on her blog and after the post about the white girl and her dark skinned boyfriend, i sent her an email stating that. Right or wrong, people look up to her and she does have a certain influence.

You can't let the love of money make you lose your integrity.

Shuga Naija and Extended Family

So the first episode of Shuga Naija is out and I will reserve my comments and keep an open mind until i see future episodes.




Extended Family - I am have been such a huge fan of Bovi ever since i first saw him on Who wants to be a millionaire. His waffy pidgin dey burst my head. I love it. I subscribed to his youtube channel months ago and would always see updates of "Extended Family" but i never watched it until yesterday and i am hooked. It is hilarious. Thankfully, there are still many more episodes before i get to the most recent one. I guess i'm not telling you guys anything new especially if you are in naija. I love that all the episodes are on youtube.





I always have a certain song at anyone time that releases endorphins from my brain and it would be on repeat. These songs change frequently but when i'm into it, i can play it like 100 times at once. Not kidding. i can be obsessive like that. This is the song that is doing it for me right now. I escpecially love Flavour's part in the song



On that note, I bid you good day!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Goals for 2014

At the end of 2012, i made a list of things i wanted to achieve this year and i am happy to say 50% of those have been achieved. I am very happy at where i am right now because it was a struggle to make it this far. I started off the year being overweight weighing 167 (i was actually 153 in dec 2012 but going home for christmas is never good for my weight) with a BMI of 26. Since 2009, i have fluctuated between 153-167, anything above 150 is overweight for me and i was sick of it. One of my goals for 2012 was to stop being overweight and i am very happy to say i was able to achieve that and have been in the mid 140s since August.

My goal for next year is to get super fit and toned, get those abs on point and just be able to develop healthy habits that would become the norm for my life. My family is doing great with the weight loss and healthy lifestyle thing. I'm actually the one slacking behind because i have chilled out since August. i haven't even been to the gym since sept 15th. My sister who weighed 210lbs when she had her baby in June 2012, is now 130lbs. That is 80lbs. I got home and felt like i was seeing a different person. She never lost the baby weight from her first pregnancy where she gained 55lbs, then she had another baby, so since 2009, i had gotten used to seeing a bigger version of her. I was so impressed. It's all food intake. She's a perfect example of the saying that weight loss is 80% what you eat and 20% exercise.

It became a competition between us when she got to the 160s and she slowly closed the gap and kept on going. I am SO proud of her. Both her and my mother have way more discipline than me when it comes to eating healthy. I will never be caught dead with a raw tomato in my mouth but they eat healthy like that. I went home for thanksgiving and was inspired to get back on track after my mother who is going to be 61 in 10 days was asking me to show her exercises to tone up. So for her birthday she is getting 10lb weights and a strength training exercise DVD. This woman can outrun me any day anytime.

There are other things i have in mind for next year. I've always wanted to serve as a mentor for young girls. LOL. I know right, me and my crazy self. But believe it or not, i am actually well behaved in real life. If you have good home training, it never leaves you, so while i might seem to be a little witch on here, that's not necessarily the case. That's not to say i can't flip out if i need to, i just don't. A lot of young females need guidance and i think i have something to offer in that regard.

I would like to reduce my cussing to 10%. I can't get rid of all of it because i don't want to as it is needed from time to time. Life will already be less colorful with the 90% i'm losing, let's not get too carried away here.


Example of (my sister's) Daily food intake - For those who are interested. She sent it to me in October and i didn't even take a look at it until today. LOL.

Breakfast (8am) - 4oz fat free milk, 2 Melba Toast (you can find in Walmart), 10 green grapes or 3 pineapple slices or 2 prunes

Mid AM (11am) - Protein bar

Lunch (2pm) - 2-3 pieces of Tilapia or 7oz chicken breast, I cup brocoli, I cup cauliflower, 2 melba toast

Mid PM (5pm) - 10 green grapes or 3 pineapple slices or 2 prunes

Dinner : 7-8pm -  2-3 pieces of Tilapia or 7oz chicken breast, I cup brocoli, I cup cauliflower, 2 melba toast

Bedtime - Protein bar (if needed)

 It requires a lot of discipline but it worked for her.  This is exactly what she ate everyday for 5 months. Of course you can change things up to suit yourself. This is just to give you a general idea if you are interested.


Sulphate free shampoo

Can anyone recommend a brand for me? Please and thank you.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Aunty Mary

Sis! Can you please get that stick out your ass? Please? It's really not a good look. While you are pulling the stick out your ass, please look up the meaning of facetious and enlighten yourself. It will be of great help to you in your life. In fact, let me help you.


As for being immature, it's allowed nau. Ahn ahn. What prize have you and your mature correction officer self received?  Not a single person who interacts with me in real life would use that word to describe me so your opinion and corrections are not needed.

A post dedicated to just you. You should feel special.

You are welcome ;)

#somepeoplewillneverlikemeandiwillnevergiveafuck

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

HIV Transmission Risk

Whenever i take a mini break from whining, bitching and moaning about med school, I like to throw in some edumacation for those who care to know. This post was prompted and sponsored (indirectly) by the ignorance spewed in the comments on this post. HIV positive woman tells lover "Welcome to my world" after they had sex.

You can thank me later and please people, let's refrain from having unnecessary heart attacks over my inability to let things go. Just roll your eyes, shake your head and pray the good lord touches me. No need to raise your blood pressure over this crazy girl. Auntie Mary, you hear?

HIV transmission risk brought to you by the CDC courtesy of Google-is-your-friend

This is broken down into risk per 10,000 exposures - meaning what is your risk of getting infected with HIV if you were exposed 10,000 times.

Source
So for example, if you were exposed 10,000 to HIV through blood transfusion, 9,000 of those times you would be infected, which means you have a 90% chance of being infected through blood transfusion. Pretty high.

Let's go over to sex - receptive penile-vaginal intercourse (the woman is exposed to an HIV positive man), for every 10,000 times you are exposed that way, 10 of those times you would be infected. That is 0.1%, the risk is even less if an HIV negative man has sex with an HIV positive woman (Insertive penile-vaginal intercourse). For some reason, mostly likely anatomical differences, it is more difficult for a woman to pass on the virus to a man. You can see the risk is higher for receptive anal intercourse (a negative male or female receiving anal sex from a positive male) but none of them are 100%. Which is why sometimes one partner is positive and the other partner turns out negative. There was an HIV positive patient (with full blown AIDS at the time of admission), with a less than 1 yr old baby and a fiancee who were both negative. Blew my mind. It happens.

This data is from the CDC and if you can't trust the CDC, then you need Jesus and more help than i can offer you. 

The point of this post is to once again reiterate that just because you slept with someone who is HIV positive without protection or you had unprotected sex does not AUTOMATICALLY give you the virus.
That does not mean you should go about playing Russian roulette as these are just odds and the odds might not always be in your favor. I'm just saying people should calm down, man or woman up and go get tested instead of dying slowly in fear because you don't know your status. At the end of the day, being infected with HIV is no longer a death sentence and it's better to know whether you have it or not than to find out when it has already progressed to AIDS. Also, people with very low viral loads are less likely to transmit the virus.

You are welcome.

Going back to the story that prompted this post, if this really happened, that man has 72 hours to go get post exposure prophylaxis and drastically reduce the odds of getting infected. People need to be aware of their options. 

Road trip from hell

Ope o!

Today......many fucks were given. As in! If i say i almost died, that would be a justifiable exaggeration. Talk about fog of life and visibility that was borne of the devil. At one point, the fog that made you unable to see further than your nose decided that it was not bad enough, it had to throw in rain for good measure. It got to a point where it seemed like i lost depth perception and i thought I was floating aka float driving. Kind of like what you would imagine driving in heaven to be like, only this time, God has decided to revoke your pass and you were getting thrown into the pits of hell. 

Over 3 hours of heart wrenching, steering clutching, fingernails biting, mental torture mixed with a healthy dose of fear. I was just trying to make it home to my warm apartment. i have never been so happy to see the sign that told me i was back in my city and i let out a woo hooo for good measure.
 
Iyanya kept me company so now i can't get "Yvonne Nelson, I have your medicine" out of my head. But it's okay. I'm alive.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

The beat of your own drum

Are you your own person? 
Are you marching to the beat of your own drum? 
Do you let other people's opinion about something or someone determine your behavior
or 
Do you take the time to think for yourself? 
You were given a brain for a reason
Take the time to use it
you do yourself a disservice if you don't

Authenticity
Very important
 
Time for some Tea and Tylenol 
Good afternoon

Calling people out?

I think i just figured it out. #lifeofanewlymintedinsomniac

Nothing annoys/irritates me more than reading a post that is more or less a cryptic message. They want to say something about someone but don't want to say it. So they say enough to push your amebo button then leave you hanging. Stuff like that is what turns people into paranoid detectives. That is, if they have nothing better to do with their time and still have fucks left to give. If you want to talk about something or someone, then talk about it. If you are playing tactful diplomat and want to throw stones from afar then I humbly suggest you swallow that shit like a big girl and stop the cryptic madness. It annoys me to no end and a certain blogger is more guilty of it than others. No! I will not be naming names because this does not directly have to do with me (or does it?). I guess i feel like turning people into paranoid detectives today :)

Long story short, when i have shit to say about someone, i save you all the hassle of turning into amateur Sherlock Holmes and say it. Life is too short, why make it harder on my beloved readers. LOL. Instead of that stupid Anonymous idiot to be thanking me, she was accusing herself of always calling people out. Btw, Auntie Anonymous, in case of next time, I know who you are o! I don't know why you thought you were hidden just because you commented anonymously. Too easy.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Girly

I did the most girly out of character thing today and i just have to blog about it for posterity's sake. My Ambulatory clinic this month is 30 mins away from my apartment without traffic. Me being me, i started off the month leaving home at 830am, so while i would get to clinic at 9am which is technically on time, I would sometimes be too late for the first patient, so i had to start leaving at 8.15-8.20am to get there with 5 mins to spare.

Last night was a mess, i ended up with insomnia that was without question a direct curse from the gods. I kid you not. Amadioha must be vexing for me or something. I only slept for an hour if that. I don't even think i slept at all, so to say i was a bit sluggish this morning is an understatement. Breakfast was out of the question because at about 2am when i first got out of bed in frustration, my first stop was my fridge. I ended up eating 5 sticks of string cheese and 2 packets of special K pastry crisps out of boredom and felt instantly sick. By 4am, i had abandoned all attempts at sleeping, so i watched some episodes of Judge Judy. 6am-7am is a blur, so i guess i must have slept then, by 7am i was ranting about my insomnia then I took a shower, got dressed, packed lunch and made some peach flavored tea with honey.

At about 825a, i noticed my nail polish was chipped on all fingers. I debated whether to get nail polish remover and clean it off or since the nail polish was on the table, re-apply nail polish. Now that i am writing about it, i wonder if lack of sleep was making me delirious. First off, this is the second time this year, i am using nail polish. I don't have the patience for such things. I like how it looks and everything especially if it is a pretty color but it's just not something i take the time to do. My normal self would have ignored the chipped nails and gone to work like that since i was already late, actually my normal self wouldn't be wearing nail polish in the first place. Instead, I stood there this blessed morning and painted all my fingernails over forgetting that i hadn't put on socks. LOL. I'm just sitting here laughing thinking about my socks wearing fiasco this morning. I'm a mess and a half. I almost didn't wear socks but the 19 degree weather put the fear of God in me. I somehow somehow chooked my legs inside those socks, succeeding in messing up my nails a bit. I made it to work, late of course but thankfully, the first patient was scheduled for 920am, so all was well in the world.

Na wa! How do girly girls do it? I can't shout o. The truth is, i can't stand being unkempt at work, I'd rather not have nail polish at all than show up with chipped nails which is why i don't bother with such things. Now at home, i can be a bum from now till tomorrow. I roll into the Walmart which is down the street from my apartment looking homeless from time to time and that doesn't bother me at all. My mother would probably scream if she ever saw how i leave the house sometimes. Thank God she's not here.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Demons and Living corpses

Thanks to Amazon prime, Netflix and more free time, i have been watching a lot of TV shows lately. I just started season 7 of Intervention (which is the first season Amazon prime has available) and it's so obvious that a lot of people have serious demons to deal with in life and we have some living corpses amongst us. It is very sad to watch. Drug addiction is a horrible thing and some people are never able to shake it. During my psych rotation, i was on Psych consults and we were consulted for an older man in his 70s with suicidal ideation. He was very angry when we walked in. The nurses had warned us prior because he had been giving them hell. The NP had gone with me but i was the one supposed to conduct the interview. The man barked at him and was quite frightening to be honest but as mean as he seemed by the end of talking to him, he was in tears and apologising. Come to find out that he was angry at himself for not being able to get rid of his addiction. He had been trying to get clean since the 70s and it was relapse after relapse, now he has grandkids he wants to be there for but he can't because of his addiction. I felt for him and watching intervention, it's easy for me to empathize with some of them because i understand how much of a disease addiction is and realize the uphill battle they have to face. It's quite sad actually.

Orange is the New Black! Seriously!!!!! The first time i heard about the show was the halloween black face incident with Julianne Hough. When i say i haven't watched any sort of TV this year, i am not kidding. That show sucked me in and I didn't realise until the season was over that there was only season 1. I wouldn't have started watching it if i knew that because i like to accumulate seasons of shows before i start watching especially if it's a good show because i can't stand suspense. Which is why i still haven't watched Scandal. I hope it lives up to the hype when i do watch it.

Then last but not least, Duck Dynasty. I haven't laughed at any show as much as i did watching season 1. I'm yet to watch season 2-4 because they are not free on prime and I have no patience for the free TV sites these days, but i'm working on getting the DVDs. It is an unexpectedly good reality show. Uncle Si is a hoot. I love Jase too, i think they are very intelligent and witty.

I also got into my Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Bridezillas and Toddlers and Tiaras (for a little bit).

What shows do you TV watching people recommend?

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Sex and Old Goats

Haven't felt like blogging but I know I promised you guys a post about my epiphany in clinic. Long story short, a lot of middle aged men have some sort of erectile dysfunction. There's the myth of the strong virile man who can have kids anything he wants, even well into his 80s. That's not exactly true. Now I know why Viagra is so popular and smart women chose to be cougar's. These women know what's up. These randy old goats can't get it up half the time, sometimes even with the help of Viagra, which is not effective in everyone.

It now makes sense why men who were painting the town when they were young, calm down when they start to get older because their penises decided to close shop on them. Ha ha!

Of course, this is not the case for every man but it is very, very prevalent, starting as early as the 40s. Don't let these men deceive you.

Thank God for Viagra, although Cialis seems to be a favorite brand these days. I had a patient apologize to me for asking for Cialis in front of me. lol. I was like, I'm going to be a doctor, I should be comfortable in any situation, which I am. I guess he was embarrassed.

Biggest thing I found that helps is to be physically fit, as in exercise and remain in good shape. If you have diabetes, there's a huge risk for erectile dysfunction because of vascular problems. I also just found out that there's a link between diabetes and low testosterone. I need to read up on that. So guys, diabetes is not your friend, neither is being a fat, inactive human.

So philander away while you are young, because you might not be able to when you get older. J/k. Seriously though, the biggest thing I got from this is that being a cougar is the way to go. Lol. Ok, let me be serious. After seeing older married guys in their 60s come in for whom Viagra has been ineffective and hearing them say it's okay and sex is not that important, it made me realize how important it is to end up with the right person, a good friend and partner. That's the biggest epiphany I had.

Although to paint a complete picture, a lot of older people have very active sex lives. You can ask people who work in nursing homes, let them tell you stories. But ask these men to tell you the truth about their erectile dysfunction, especially the pot bellied toads who chase after everything in skirts. They are probably overcompensating for their inability in the bedroom. I kid, I kid.

*I am referring specifically to randy old Nigerian goats in this post. Not my poor innocent patients. Na the one wey concern me, naim I go talk.

Talk about self hate

Linda Ikeji is wrong for this . I know an ugly guy when I see one and this guy is not ugly. He is not the best looking guy out there but he is not ugly. The only striking thing about him is how dark he is and for Linda to sit there and mock his girl friend for talking about how cute he is and how she loves him is just wrong. African Americans think they are the only ones who have to deal with the light skin dark skin debate. They should talk to all the people who were called blackie growing up in Nigeria. We had a private tutor growing up whose nick name was blackito because he was darker skinned. We hardly have people this dark in Nigeria but Linda proved just how ignorant she is with such a stupid post. I don't even want to talk about the idiotic comments on that post.

Black is beautiful people. Embrace your own.

This is my 900th post on this blog. Bow down Bitches!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Life is in Session

You would think that would be obvious but this chic has chosen not to be cognizant of that fact. It's almost as if i'm not "growing up" and life is not really happening right now because i'm still in school. This place is not my home, i'm just here for school so i refused to change my tags or license even though there's a huge possibility i won't be going back home for residency. I have friends but never took the time to cultivate those friendships because it was all about book, book, book, so it's almost as if i don't have friends and when i say that i don't have friends to said people, they look at me and say what about me. In my mind, "this" is not real, it's all temporary and after this is done, then i will start to live. Well, "this" is not about to be done any time soon, because after med school, comes residency and possibly fellowship and in that time, i have to fit in a family somehow and that dog that my heart refuses to stop desiring, so life is happening now. I'm still trying to get with that program

I will never be a child again. This not boarding school where i get to go home every holiday. I've only been home once this year for 2 days, so i somehow need to embrace this fact that my life is in session and this is my life whether i like it or not and i am a grown woman whether i like it or not. My brain and face has refused to accept the grown woman part. I just think i'm not aging and i'm in limbo, like some sort of mental inertia. 

On that note, I need to make a bucket list. First, travel to the North (Nigeria) and finally get that rich alhaji and become his 9th favorite wife. That is not a joke. If i'm going to be shackled it might as well be with the right accoutrements. Wealth looks good on me. Afterall, i am a child of wealth (check my bio ;)

A classmate was saying that she went into medicine for money. I told her she was crazy. There are way easier things with better pay to do for money than medicine. Business for example, i know those white collar people on wall street or whereever make billions and they never had to do rectal exams or disimpact any bowels in their lifetimes.

Will put up the epiphany post soon.  The world has been deceiving us and my eyes have been opened.  Whomp! 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Ladies, I have good news

So I'm in clinic right now and I just had an epiphany about these men and their cheating ways and how Karma really is a bitch but I need to do a little research before I talk about my little light bulb moment.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Sweet tooth


Today....I'm sad! 
It's official. 
I've lost my sweet tooth :(
I've been trying to deny it for months because it honestly baffled me
The words "too sweet" never existed in my vocabulary
I drank Very Vanilla Silk Soymilk for years and now it's too sweet
The dulce de leche goya wafers i love are now too sweet and seem like i'm just eating cardboard and sugar
I drink my tea these days without sugar or honey and i'm able to appreciate the flavor
and love it *gasps*
I never thought that was possible

What in the world has happened to my taste buds? 
I mean, i bought walker's shortbread and gave it away unopened because i had no desire to eat it

The world is coming to an end, i tell you. 
#endtimetinz

Monday, November 11, 2013

Here's to the Girls

So me! 
Bum.com
makeup free 99.9% of the time
Do not own a pair of heels
lol @ perfect hair
sweatpants over skinny jeans any day
(some skinny jeans are comfy though)
I like my t-shirts at home
Definitely don't need a guy to tell me i'm beautiful
my mirror doesn't expect anything in return
I love me some me!
On a good day :)

hey! I never said my life was filled with butterflies and rainbows
I be dealing with some major angst sometimes.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Bored

Just finally downloaded BBM. I've never been a big fan of chatting. Add me if you are not a weirdo. Well, you can be a weirdo, i'll just delete you.

79D2BE18

I'm going to try to blog everyday (ha!) for the rest of this month. I need to force myself out of this funk. I still haven't told you guys of my Munchausen's/malingerer of a patient who wanted to get his jollies off me. As in!!! This man wanted to use me to catch trips. Hai! I'm still pissed just thinking about it. PISSED! I don't know how long it's going to take for it to become funny but it's been two weeks and it's still not funny. I ranted to everyone who would listen.

In hindsight, i'm glad i wasn't so gentle on his rectal exam, at least not the second time i had to do it to make sure there was no blood. If only i had known then what i know now, i wouldn't have used lube!!! Idiot.

Next blog post!


Wednesday, November 6, 2013

I'm black but I don't steal

I went to an Asian owned beauty supply store this past Sunday. I've been there about 4-5 times and i usually get the same thing. They hand it to me and i walk over to the front of the store, pay and leave. So I decided to get the same item  i usually get plus another, now these are relatively inexpensive stuff, less than $50. She had handed me the first item but when i said i wanted another one, she refused to hand it to me but decided to walk with me to the front of the store. So i handed her the first item also and walked with her.

It was obvious why she did that because i have been to that store multiple times, they never walk you to the register to pay and she had initially handed me the first one to go pay, but as soon as i requested another one, i guess she figured I was up to no good. I wasn't in the least bit offended because it is what it is. People are usually the way they are based on past experiences. I worked at my dad's liquor store for 5 years where 95% of the customers were black. I have never seen such blatant stealing in all my years on earth. There was an incident where this lady came in the store with her two sons, with the oldest not being more than 8. She spent at least $60 playing scratch off tickets and she lost all her money. My sister had left her purse on a chair over the counter and this lady could see it. While my sister had her back turned towards the register, ol girl reached into the purse and grabbed her wallet. Fortunately, i was coming from the back of the store and saw her reach into the purse and put something in her shirt. I didn't see what she took, but i saw the motion, so i grabbed her. We were struggling, i started screaming for my dad and that's when she took the wallet out and handed it to me before leaving. All this happened in front of her sons.

There have been customers who walked in and before you could say Jack robinson, have grabbed the half gallon of whatever liquor from the shelf and dashed out the store. I can give you incident after incident where these people just steal. Even beer that's a dollar, they don't want to pay for. If i started watching everyone who came in the store like a hawk, would i be wrong or am i going to be accused of stereotyping, or would i be acting as a result of my experience? I think one of the biggest blessings in my life, really is the fact that i majored in psychology and i've always had an open mind to begin with. There was a course where we talked about stereotyping and that helped me a lot in dealing with people. I never judge a group of people as a whole and I try to deal with people on an individual basis, if not my perception of African American people would be skewed negatively right now. All the blatant in your face discrimination i've ever faced in this country have been from them., the broad day light theft and just some all around craziness i have witnessed but i know better than to see every black person as the same as that's just stupid.

Back to Asian beauty supply store i went to on Sunday, majority of their customers are black. I'm sure she was reacting to me based on what she had experienced. That doesn't make it right, but it's life. Of course it gets to a certain extent where it crosses the line and becomes unacceptable but if you want to stereotype me and be hypervigilant around me when i come in your store because i'm black then that's your prerogative. If i don't like it,  i won't come back to your store but instead of giving the store owner a hundred percent of the blame, I will give 50% of the blame to the black people who walked in that store before me, stole and gave the rest of us a bad name.

*By the way, i was told today by an African American guy that i wasn't black. As far as he is concerned, i'm a foreigner and i'm not black. He asked me if i checked the African-American box to self identify and i said yes if there's no other option. He told me, i am supposed to check "other". Which i have on occasion, but most times those things say black/african-american. I thought it was a very interesting conversation and i ended up telling him, he didn't have to worry about me claiming to be African-American because i am not African-American, just as he is not African. However, i am black and i am African. I didn't know the term black exclusively applied to African- Americans. I made sure to tell him anyone is free to identify as whatever they wanted to as cos it's a free world. When i walk into a store and people think i'm about to steal because of my skin color, they don't ask me to speak so they can hear if i have an accent or not before i am discriminated against, we are treated the same for the most part.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Good day

Thanks for all your birthday wishes. If you follow me on instagram you would have gotten a little update. That day did not seem like my birthday at all. I missed 90% of my birthday phone calls, did not get to eat either breakfast, lunch or dinner until about 6.30pm and didn't get a chance to listen to the birthday song my niece sang for me which my sister posted on instagram until 1130pm. My senior was nice enough to send me to sleep at 12am and she gave all the new admissions (4) to the intern who was pissed and did not bother responding to my greeting when i strolled back to the team room at 5am. LOL. I felt bad but it wasn't my fault. I told her to page me and she didn't. She mentioned she had been on call on her birthday, so i guess she was just trying to be nice to me. Besides, the more patients she gives me, the more she gets so the SMS follows the same patients as the senior, so it was less work for her too.

I wasn't able to get a good sleep anyway as i am never able to sleep when i'm on call. The rooms always seem icky to me and are freezing. I ended up sleeping with my shoes on and two blankets, yet was cold to the point of waking up every hour to pee. They should have just sent me home. Anyway, that's that. I'm a year older. I gave myself the gift of good health by going to the doctor that day. I got the second admission and left for my doctor's appointment with the promise that i would be back ASAP, but that did not happen as i made sure i got Indian food and stopped by my apartment to change my shirt. Hey!  They let me escape and i did the needful.

I had dreams of coming home today from clinic and staying under my blanket to watch netflix. All that was dashed this evening. I guess in this day and age of google, God forbid anyone has any sort of privacy anymore. I'm so pissed. Mschewww......

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Mourning

October 26th, 2013 - Exactly 11 years since we stepped foot in JFK airport and missed our connecting flight from Laguardia to Hartsfield-Jackson, because we were randomly selected to be searched. Exhausted and hungry from the journey, it was the first time anyone had ever asked me if i spoke English. I had just responded to her question in English, so it took me by surprise when in response to my response, I got asked if i spoke English. This was to be the first of many times my English speaking ability was questioned. I had always been the weird child who got on my mother's case for not teaching us any native language. This is a woman who is fluent in Igbo, Hausa, Etsako, Ishan and can understand Bini. Coming to America speaking the only language i knew and barely being understood made me even angrier at my parents. There were many fights about this, until I decided to call a truce over the issue and stop crying over spilled milk. I resolved to just carry on with my heavily accented Nigerian English. I wasn't always nonchalant about it and had a brief period where i refused to talk to strangers (even at work). I actually had someone ask me, if i couldn't speak because i just wouldn't respond to his questions. They were stupid irrelevant questions IIRC. 

Anyway, that was then. I got slowly got used to the huhs?! whenever i spoke, struggled to pronounce 13 and 30, learned to say learned instead of learnt and replaced my British spelling with American spelling, and my British words for American words - boot was now trunk, take-away became to-go, trainers became sneakers and lorry became truck; said underwear instead of pant, while trouser became pants, and resigned myself to the fact that shimi and underwear no longer meant the same thing. For the first two years i was in this country, i HATED it with every fiber of my being. My life was comfortable in Nigeria. I had days of being irritated by the American accents i heard around me, very high pitched, nasal, and just plain annoying. First day of class and people sharing their private lives with you like you are their long lost friend. That baffled me because as we all know, Nigerians are very private people because they all think someone is out to get them and put san san in their garri. I hated it. I hated the overfamilarity of Southerners and having to smile at everyone i passed. I struggled with looking people in the eye because while Nigerians take it as a sign of disrespect if you look older people in the eye, Americans felt you were shady if you didn't make eye contact. I couldn't get used to professors who insisted you call them by their first names. I had to get rid of my discomfort at not having to  "greet" every older person that came my way, regardless of whether i knew them or not. Years of good home training going down the drain. I guess a smile and a hi would suffice.

I started learning how to drive in SS1 with a stick shift but never finished that process. Got here and a couple of months later every morning for 10-15 mins, my dad would teach my sister and I how to drive. After about a week or so, he figured we were ready. Well, that was very debatable as i failed the driving test 3 times and  "didn't pass by much" on the fourth try. My sister passed on the second try, so that got my dad off the hook as he didn't have to drive us around anymore. I would like to think we were a danger on the road that first month, but we didn't get in any accidents, so there must be a God. A few years later, i was the one doing the teaching and i taught my brother how to drive. Fun times! We still have good laughs about those very memorable days with me banging on the passenger side door while fearing for my life.

I don't know exactly when things changed, when i stopped hating America, maybe it was after i resigned myself to the fact that i was not going back to Nigeria and that this was now my life, but my unhappiness at being here went away. I woke up one morning and there was light. Will and Grace was my saving grace those first two years. It was the only thing i looked forward to all day in school. I knew no matter how bad my day was, whenever i got home i would watch Will and Grace and laugh. That show saved my life.  I will always love Jack McFarland. Always. I also don't remember when people stopped saying huh?! when i spoke or asked where i was from as soon as i uttered a word, but it stopped. Maybe 3, 4 or 5 years after i had being here? I really don't remember. I never tried to change my accent. I was too lazy to make the effort it takes to do that. I just spoke. As long as i was  understood, i was perfectly fine. To this day, i think i still sound very Nigerian, although some people would like to argue with me on that and it baffles me because i hear myself. It leaves me to wonder what they are hearing. I get the "you have a slight accent or i detect an accent" comment from time to time. I like to think these people haven't being around Nigerians much because there is nothing slight about my accent. Maybe I have become one of those people who have an accent of indeterminate origin to the untrained ear 

2004 -2006 were years my heart literally ached from missing Naija but for one reason or another, i never got to go. It's 2013 and i still haven't been back but i stopped missing it a long time ago. As time passed, home stopped being Benin-City and became Atlanta, that was a change that snuck up on me. But my identity as a Nigerian has never wavered. I struggled to keep up with the new Pidgin English slangs. Being a blogger and reading Nigerian blogs helped. I still remember asking people what "washing" meant. Till today, i hear a new slang, if i don't understand it from the context, I will definitely ask. I wondered what alanta was for a long time, and was laughed out of house and home when i pronounced it Atlanta. I still think my pidgin is on point, although i was recently teased on my "weak" pidgin. Seriously?! I was accused of not using the right accent to speak it. I personally don't agree. I am an Edo chic, we and waffi people own pidgin.  It doesn't matter how long i have been out of Nigeria, my pidgin will always be on point. Leave that matter.

11 years later - It doesn't feel that long. My sister tagged me on instagram this morning on a picture that said, living the American dream, then she said happy anniversary. I don't think i would have remembered otherwise. My brain is full with a lot of things. I don't know about living the American dream, but i am living a dream, alright. Although this dream has been more like a nightmare than anything else. Hell on earth on hot wheels. Medical School. This dream that i single mindedly pursured from day 1 of entering this country. When my dad suggested Nursing, i don't think i paid him any attention for even a second. I wanted to be a doctor. So i sacrificed having a social life to study and make those A's. My life was Class-Library-Work, a triangle i never deviated from. I volunteered, did research, joined organizations, ran for positions, and did everything i could to make myself competitive for med school. I had a goal i was working towards and it helped me deal with the crap i encountered along the way. I had a goal, i was blind to everything else. Even when i had my first encounter with a back stabbing snake friend from hell, i dusted myself off, tuned everyone out and kept my eyes on the prize. I made it in and it's been nothing like i expected. It's been a hellish experience that has brought me to my knees and laid me flat on my face. Med school has been hell on earth for me and if i had to do it over, i wouldn't do this again. I have no clue what i would rather do, but this is not an experience I should have gone through. My mind agrees with me.

11 years of being in God's own country and i feel like i am in mourning. For what, i am not exactly sure. I don't regret coming here. I don't think my independent spirit and liberal views on certain issues would have done very well in Nigeria. I don't think i would have felt I had a choice not to get married, seeing how your worth as a woman is still defined by your marital status in Nigeria. Maybe i am mourning all these years because they have been spent in the pursuit of medicine and I haven't lived and i am starting to realize that maybe it isn't worth the sacrifice after all. Maybe.

*I have the worst headache known to mankind and i sat here and typed this novella of a blog post. I deserve a medal. If you actually read it to the end, you deserve a medal too.
*Yes! I got here 3 days to my birthday, you can imagine how that birthday sucked! Not a single friend. I had to go get immunization shots too. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU



"I only wanted to love him" My heart stopped when i read that.
"It's not a gay thing. It's not a straight thing. It's a human thing"
Truth!

Documentary on OWN Oct 27th

Friday, October 18, 2013

What this Crazy Girl Has been up to.....

 Drank copious amounts of herbal tea (caffeine free). I don't know if there are any benefits but i like the taste (fruit flavored) and it has become a nightly ritual that helps me relax before bed. I drink/sip hot tea with a straw! Is that normal? I drink most things with a straw, not sure when or why i picked up that habit.

Did my first rectal exam. I somehow managed to escape it last year but I had a pt with a GI bleed and you can't (or shouldn't) call a GI consult for a GI bleed WITHOUT performing a rectal. Well, i called the consult without one and luckily the GI fellow is someone i worked with in 3rd year so he was nice to me....lol. Had to go back and do the rectal with my Senior. 

Lost my first patient while in service. A hundred years old. Anyone who lives that long and passes as easily as she did, is blessed. 

Had my first patient go on hospice. I actually talked with the patient about consulting palliative. It's difficult to tell someone they are dying. Thankfully, i wasn't the first one. The patient wasn't agreeable to that initially but eventually agreed. 

Told someone that they are one of the few people i actually dislike in this world. Back stabbing, two faced human being. Told them that too. Crazy thing was, it wasn't a heated discussion because i was in the hospital. I had cut off from this person early last year and didn't have their number on my phone, so when the call came in i answered it. As soon as i heard the person's voices, i was just like "person's name?! abeg, abeg" and hung up. Funny thing is said person and i never had a falling out, i just decided i couldn't have that kind of character in my life. Ever had a "friend' who played both sides, talked out of both sides of their mouth and was thoroughly untrustworthy? This person is one of those. Tufiakwa!

Went pinterest crazy! I have the cutest collection of natural hair kids. 
Med school 
Quotes

Follow/Find me on Pinterest. Don't dull yourself. There's something for everyone. It's just fun. I was sitting there pinning, while we were running our patient list after rounds. The senior resident was behind me and could most likely see what i was doing on my iPad, but since i was post call and writing down what he was saying, i figured he'll be fine. We'll see when i get my feedback tomorrow.

What have you been up to? If it's bad thing.....I don't want to know now. We can talk about it when you come for confession ;)

I'm offically resuming the weight loss challenge Nov 1st. Time to get these last 10lbs off and get some muscles and a wash board ab in my life. Naijafatbusters.blogspot.com

Lastly, i just realised i never updated my bloglist after i went on a deleting spree when my brain was touching earlier this year and i wanted to stop blogging/decrease the traffic to this blog. I added a few blogs tonight, Nutty Jay, Sugabelly, Original Mgbeke.....I didn't even realize they were no longer on my blog list. Anyhoodle, let me know if you want me to add you. Just leave a comment. 

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Oct 29

Come o......


My birthday is exactly 16 days from today.  What are you guys getting me? I feel like i have been in a war zone this year and i would like a care package. Also, a sugar boy to go with that will not be a bad idea. Unfortunately, i am on call that day - 28hr call. I tried to get that day off but was shut down really fast. Oh wells...... Whatchugondo?


I'm not playing. This year, i expect gifts in cash and kind and hot dudes! Just saying. Now get to work fulfilling that order. In case you are wondering i turn 55 this year. I'm a young at heart, fine girl, no pimples just dimples, simples. Actually i don't have dimples but my mom and nieces do. Jelly, jelly.


Living with HIV

Let's deviate from my usual random nonsense and talk about serious stuff. If you've read this blog for a while, you are probably aware that i am passionate about HIV awareness and prevention.  My project involved evaluating an intervention program geared towards African American women to see if it was relevant and they could actually practice what they learned in the program. I think in a lot of ways, the power structure in (some) AA heterosexual relationships is similar to African relationships. I chose to focus on AA women rather than MSM (men who have sex with men) because i felt that i whatever i learned, i could apply to African women and maybe extend that knowledge to do something in Nigeria. I just spoke to someone and was told that the awareness is still poor in Nigeria right now. It's an ongoing process in my head at this point. On that note, i'll share some basic information that someone might find useful.

Let me start by saying that HIV is not a death sentence. Thanks to new treatments, having HIV is like having any chronic illness like diabetes, HTN that you have to treat your whole life.  
  • FYI: HIV is a virus that attacks our immune system. Everyone has CD4 T cells which helps to fight infections and keep us healthy.  Our CD4 T cells have to be above a certain number for it to be effective. HIV causes AIDS by attacking our CD 4 T cells and killing them off. The lower your CD4 T cells, the less likely you are to be able to fight infections. When your body can no longer fight infections, that's when you have AIDS. This usually happens when the CD4 T cell is less than 200 OR you have certain kinds of infections or cancers that attack your immune system. 
  • Treatment can prevent or delay progression to AIDS. Without treatment it typically takes about 10 years. You shouldn't wait until you have symptoms to start getting treatment because you might not have any symptoms of HIV until the later stages when your immune system has already been damaged.
  •  In general, you start treatment if your CD4 count is less than 500, you are having severe symptoms or have developed other infections, you are pregnant, and you are ready to commit to taking medication everyday.  You HAVE TO be committed to whatever medications you start, otherwise you quickly become resistant to it and it won't work. So take your medications, correct dose and correct times every day. Don't start and stop. It's better to take a pill late than to skip the dose. Tell your doctors about ALL other meds (prescription, herbs, supplements, over the counter)  you are taking and other health conditions, so they can make sure there's no interaction.
  • Ongoing care - You should plan to see your doctor every 3-4 months for checkups, so they can be on top of things and know if the meds are working, check for complications from meds, how you are sticking to your treatment plan and help find solutions on how to deal with side effects of medications. You also need blood tests - CD4 count and Viral load tests. These are the only tests that can tell you how well you are doing, if your treatment is working or if the HIV is getting worse.
  • What you can do for yourself - Eat a balanced diet which can help boost your energy, avoid weight loss and keep your immune system stronger. Also, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep can help you handle the stress of HIV. I cannot stress how important it is to have a support system. Good family and friends can help cope with the emotional effects of HIV. You can also join an online support group. It is also important for you to know how HIV spreads in other to protect yourself and others.
  • How does HIV spread - It is NOT spread through air, water, saliva, tears or sweat. It IS spread through blood, semen (including pre-seminal fluids) and vaginal fluids by
  1. Having vaginal, oral or anal sex - the virus can spread through small tears or sores in mouth, anus or vagina
  2. Sharing personal items such as razors or toothbrushes that might have your blood on them
  3. Sharing needles and syringes
  4. giving birth - the baby can be infected during pregnancy, delivery or breastfeeding. DO NOT breastfeed if you are HIV positive and get treatment while you are pregnant and treatment for the baby after birth. 
  • FYI. Protecting yourself and others. If you already have HIV it is NOT safe to have unprotected sex with someone who is HIV positive as you can become infected with another strain of the HIV virus. If that happens, the meds you are on may not work on the new strain.
  • Know your STD status as you are 3-5 times more likely to infect others with HIV if you also have an STD or hepatitis
  • Don't share sex toys
  • Use a male or female condom anytime you have vaginal, oral or anal sex.
  • Don't share needles or other drug equipment
  • Know that you can still infect others even though you are taking your HIV meds
  • Tell all your partners that you are HIV positive before you have vaginal, oral or anal sex. 
*The odds of getting infected is not 1:1 (meaning it's not 100% certain you would be infected every time you have sex with an infected person) but it's better not to take that chance because it's like playing Russian roulette. In terms of getting the virus from sex-- Anal sex has the highest chance, followed by vaginal then oral.

Most of my info was gotten from PatientPoint. I picked up a handy pamphlet from clinic.

Trusted resources you can visit for reliable information
AIDSinfo
CDC
MedlinePlus

HIV Test Window Periods
CDC - FAQs

Hope this turns out to be helpful to someone. I wrote this especially for my folks living in naija because i know you guys have to advocate for yourself when it comes to health care for any issue not just HIV. When they say knowledge is power, it's not a joke. If you are knowledgeable about whatever condition you are dealing with, you are able to deal with it better and get better care for yourself by being your own advocate. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions. KNOW what medications you are taking, the name, expected side effects. Ask questions! Seek a second opinion if you are not comfortable. Switch doctors. Don't accept anything you are told if you don't understand, ask the doctor to break it down and eliminate the doctor speak. I can't tell you how many patients (here) take medications but they can't tell you the name or why they are taking the medication. This is just generally advice about health care stuff not just HIV.

We have a lot of work to do on our health care system especially in Nigeria. I think health literacy is an area that needs more work but that's a different blog post.

Happy Sunday.

*IF you have any questions, you can ask me, I'm still a student so while i might not have answers, i can point you in the right direction. Otherwise, google is your friend.

*If you read this post to the end....Here's a cookie and a hottie of the day award. You are blessed and have been enhanced :)

Coinkidink.....

Friday, October 11, 2013

Pose of Life

Don Jazzy
Don Jazzy said it took him 30 mins to get this pose, so we should better LiKE it.  All i could think of was "30 mins for this pose wey you stand like akpu....." LOL

My brain amazes me with the random crap it churns out.

Musings

 It's amazes me how people make their beds but refuse to lie in it in peace. Instead they want to be tensioning innocent people, re-mixing history to suit their purposes, playing victim instead of accepting the fact that they screwed up royally and their shit stinks from here to high heavens. I'm sorry for you my dear. You are the architect of your own misfortune. There's no need to look for someone not to wish you well because you don't wish yourself well. Those who have big eyes will always pay the price. You made your bed, please lie in it and point all five fingers to yourself. Nobody did anything to you, playing the victim is not cute! Maybe one day it will finally sink in to you that money will never be the source of any lasting happiness. Until then, good luck.


 Moving on.....

I just read Ms. Dakara's post.Why do we pick English names for our kids? I don't see white people naming their kids Nigerian (or African) names, so why do we continue this trend? Someone had to enlighten me for me to get it and i'm hoping to do that for someone else. I was always of the Nigerian first name and English middle name bandwagon, until i asked a family friend why him and all his siblings first and middle names were both Nigerian names and he told me his father did not like the idea of naming his kids English/American names, because said people did not give their kids our names. It made sense to me. Something just clicked in my head. The names people are giving their kids these days is concerning. Very americanized names that don't seem to fit. Too many Jaden/Jaydens running around in Nigeria these days. Anyway, what's my own.

I'm blessed to be from two ethnic groups, so i will never have a shortage of names to chose from. I get to pick the names if i get to incubate the child for 9 months. That's my rule. I have an Edo name, igbo name, arabic name, and English name. (I bet i have more names but they are not coming to me right now). My English name is one of the fruits of the spirits. Very common bastardized name like this which i used to hate. The only reason i use it is because it looks good on paper so it's part of my legal documents but i don't like being called the name, never have, never will.

It's 12am. Good morning! 

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

My mother's daughter

On my day off......

I cooked a pot of stew with smoked turkey, baked an extra large store bought extreme bacon pizza, baked some chicken and  meat pies, did laundry, washed dishes, went for a doctors appointment, got some good news, ate a box of fortune cookies, believed all the fortunes in the cookies, bought some more flavors of celestial tea, talked to my dad, mom, sisters on the phone on separate phone calls, talked to my nieces-god daughters on facetime, texted with my college freshman niece who told me to go yoga to relax and showed me a picture of her haitian boyfriend, told her to tell the haitian to behave himself, talked with a couple of friends, put a period to a friendship that has run its course and made some sleepytime tea to help me relax.

Pretty eventful day. Very thankful.

If you joined in the prayer and fasting for me last week in which i did not partake in, I just want to let you know that God heard your prayers. I am so thankful. My brain hasn't fully registered it yet.

Backflips! Good night.

Lesson of the day
  1. No good deed goes unpunished
  2. Friendships never end. The ones who were meant to be your friends stay. 
  3. Beware of people who hold grudges. They tend to have selective amnesia. 
Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

  © Blogger template Writer's Blog by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP