Monday, September 30, 2013

Boss Lady

Let's translate this to pidgin English

Literal:  Boss - Oga, Lady - woman  = Oga woman. This doesn't sound right to me, cos Oga woman, to me means, the boss's chic.

Oga madam - Errrmmm....maybe but this still mean's the boss's wife

To me, a boss lady is a chic who is a boss. There's really no man in the equation in regard to that phrase. I'm not saying she doesn't have a man or need one,  that's another story.

How do you say Boss lady in Pidgin?

Madam the Madam?

*These are the kinds of thoughts i have while falling asleep. I know, right?! Issues.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

The one where i talk to you guys :))))

My dear blogthrens, 
I've been sitting here eating crackers at 230 in the morning. 
If that's not "home problem", I don't know what is. 
My friend wanted to chat with me on whatsapp. 
I told him if he can't call, he should forget it. 
I have no desire to be chatting this night. 
So he sent his Mallam to go buy him a phonecard. 
Na wa o! 
When am i going to have people to be running my errands? 
I really wasn't cut out to be dealing with some mundane shit. 
I was built for a life of luxury
Universe, take note.

 I have been called a troublemaker, wahala woman, Margaret Thatcher
No, no and no!
I don't have power anymore
This has been a great year for opportunities to exercise restraint
I'm just sitting here smiling at some thoughts 
The people who have escaped the razor tongue
We thank the good lord for growth
I let people who think they can talk, talk
I am highly amused because i KNOW that in a second 
I can have them feeling like a dagger just went through their heart but i chose not to.
That my friends, 
 is power!
Being able to be in control of yourself makes you more powerful over any situation (original quote).  Ha!

One of my friends stopped by this evening and was telling someone to talk to me about his girl problems. I was like, you might not want to do that because i am very cynical and blunt. Then she says to him that he really should talk to me because i am wise (I'm quoting here o) and i give good advice without making the person feel stupid. That was very unexpected and it made me feel good because i know that i can be very blunt. I have had to be more conscious of my bluntness because it is never my intention to hurt someone's feelings. Evidently, i have succeeded. The first time i was ever told i was blunt, was in JSS 1. Can you imagine? 

3am! I am pretty much screwed for tomorrow cos i am never up this late. I drank some tea so i could stay up and study, so that is playing a role in this self induced insomnia. Anyhoodle, before i end this post, i just wanted to say the readers of this blog are some pretty good looking folks, at least the ones who have followed me on Instagram. I won't bother to mention names because frankly i don't know who is who because their lazy asses don't bother to leave comments, so i don't know them from Adam :)

I seriously need some suya spice! Someone please help a sister out and tell me where to get some online, abeg. I would prefer the Nina brand. That's what i use to bake my fish but i have been out of it for a while. Also, what is the best way to comfort a grieving mother? My friend just lost a much desired and worked for 5month pregnancy and it was a 110% the fault of the doctor. I guess in Nigeria there is no recourse. I seriously would like to know the best way to be there for her without making her feel bad.

My birthday is coming up and i have decided to make some new year resolutions. Number ONE and ONLY: Stop cursing. This is not just a blog problem, it is also a real life problem. I think i pretty much write how i talk (on this blog). No one has complained but I am just noticing it more for some reason. It's almost like i can't express myself sometimes without cursing. Being in America has done wonders for my previously impeccable English. I actually remember a time when there was not a single curse word in my vocabulary
From next week, things are going to get realer. Exam on Monday, another one on Tuesday, also doing my Medicine Sub-Internship next month (where you act like a first year intern). Those of you who want me to start believing in God, now's your chance. Start praying because certain things need to fall into place. Ask him to restore my faith. I don tire.

I told my father i didn't want to get married but that's another story for another day, if ever. LOL...the poor man. He's a good dad though. He has told me since i was little that i am troublesome and exactly like his mother whom they all believe i am a reincarnate of. Sometimes my mother talks to me as if i am my grandmother. SMH. My mother and paternal grandmother are the perfect example of a DIL and MIL relationship that was great. It's unfortunate that she passed away early and i never got to meet her. She was an exceptional lady from what i hear.
For those of you who believe in prayers, don't forget about me next week. You can start today though. No need to wait. Thank you very much.

I love you guys....

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Naija songs in real life

Nigerian Blog Awards *Side eye*

2006 organized by Taurean Minx (who no longer blogs)

2009 organized by Sting (Who won't leave blogging alone)

It was a lot of fun. we had serious and not so serious categories. It wouldn't work now because things are different. Blogging and bloggers have changed. It was very crudely put together. Hey, i don't know the first thing about designing sites and all that long story but it was still a lot of work. With Med school, i knew i couldn't attempt continuing to organize it, so i solicited for interested individuals to carry on the blog award tradition and the honorable Good Naija Girl agreed to take over organizing the blog awards.

I think she and the people who have helped her along the way, have done a great job and the award has become something major that people take very seriously and actually campaign for. I just love the evolution. i think it's awesome.

BUT .......

When i went on the site a couple days ago and saw this

"About the Nigerian Blog Awards
The Nigerian Blog Awards were established in 2010 to recognize excellence in blogging, as determined by readers and fellow bloggers. "

"After being inspired by the 2009 Naija Bloggers’ Awards, I decided to launch the Nigerian Blog Awards and I’ve been running the Awards since 2010"

Something doesn't sit well with me about those statements because they come across as half-truths (to me). I didn't come up with the original idea for Naija Bloggers Award. The first one was held in 2006 and i didn't start blogging until 2007. I organized the second one in 2009 and afterwards specifically asked for volunteers to take over because i was starting med school and i had no interest (or expertise) in continuing to organize it.

I think if you put those two statements together, it paints a different picture from the actual facts. This does not change the price of garri in the market, was Madam Sting was irritated by it. Sorry, no vex.

Nigerian Blog Awards evolved from the Naija Bloggers Award, not some bullshit inspiration. I think that would be a fairer statement.

Now i have given you people something to talk about which equals effective promotion.


Oya cast your stones at me but also cast your votes/nominations for your favorite bloggers. I just have to say what's on my mind. It's a blessing and a curse. Like i said, no vex.

Monday, September 23, 2013

The devil be using me, son!

I really should go to sleep. I feel like the devil be using me* sometimes. My body would appreciate the early bed time but no! Everyday, after a futile attempt to study for one reason or the other, i give up and sit on this chair, ruminating like an old goat. I feel like less of a human being than i did when i first started med school. I am startled when I get compliments from random strangers usually in the hospital. I got on the elevator the other day and this older guy told me i was gorgeous and looked just like his girlfriend's daughter. Last month, I just finished jabbing this lady with a depo shot, and she was nice enough to tell me that i was very pretty. Talk true. She must have a high tolerance for pain or maybe she's a masochist because i felt anything but pretty or gorgeous or whatever. I feel like a corpse half the time and how i look is the last thing on my mind but i do appreciate the unexpected compliments because even though i don't feel like it, it reminds me i am alive.

 The worst thing anyone can ask me is how school is going or say happily, yay, you are almost done. Shey, you will invite me for your graduation. I just want to smack them. I just feel so irritated and annoyed.

I would like to push the pause button on life and just hibernate for a long while. If i had to do this over, i wouldn't. I would have accepted the non existent offer of that stinking rich, money dripping down his shoes, Alhaji and become a 9th and last favorite wife. Made! Instead i chose to have a brain and wanted to use it for something other than frying garri. Biggest mistake of my life.

I really don't know what i am doing up at this time. You see what i mean by the devil be using me? You see it?

*I guess i now speak broken american english aka ebonics? because i can't for the life of me translate that into proper english. I need to visit Nigeria and go brush up on my English. Isn't that ironic? lol.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Jesus Nice

Jesus Christ =  Jesus Nice
As far as my 4 yr old niece is concerned.
And no, she didn't go to church, she went to school where she learnt how to talk to Jesus Nice.
She thinks Sunday school is school not church.
Kids are the best.

If you want to KIT with me, I'm on Twitter and Instagram
You can't stalk me privately
You have to request to follow me. 
Sorry, no vex. 
I just don't want any Thomas, Dickson and Harrison to have access to my stuff
Let's contain the madness

I'm not anonymous on Instagram
so if you want to see the unfortunate mug i have been assigned to go through life with, 
you can follow me. 
Put a face to the crap you read

There's really no other incentive
Why do people want thousands of followers?
I think i'm slow with this social media thing and the whys of it.
I just applied to have my facebook permanently deleted (not deactivated)

I'm not abandoning this blog though
I still dey kampe
It's just easier to update twitter with my rants
whenever and whereever the spirit leads

The instagram and twitter buttons on the side are not for decoration.
Use it and don't let me wound you. 
Have a nice week
God bless, nothing less
Jiggy more


Wednesday, September 18, 2013


Ok! It's official! I love Toke!!!!! I haven't laughed like this in such a long time. It's her delivery that's getting me. She's good.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013


I am trying to rediscover my relationship with this blog and i am failing woefully at it. It seems to have lost its place and significance in my life. I am almost baffled at its existence. With that being said, i think i am losing my mind. Too many balls to juggle, never been good at that, so each and everyone of them have been dropped. Almost overwhelmed to the point of paralysis.

I can't write on this blog. Shit is too real.

Believe it or not, i HATE when i curse but i seem incapable of censoring myself. Actually, the truth is that i don't want to censor myself but i don't necessarily enjoy the fact that i curse (okay maybe it makes me feel better sometimes) and as much as i do it, i hate hearing people curse. Always have, always will. I am as weird as they come, i know. I refuse to be a hypocrite about it and never tell people not to curse. However, I think it's uncouth and it's a bad habit i picked up due to a misguided youth and a shitty ex. Let's not make this post about my potty mouth. Funny how this 72 yr old NP i had the pleasure of working with on my last rotation just told me on Friday how much of a nice young woman i am and how i am so polite. So guys, don't be scared to take me out, i know how to behave myself if need be.

So! I put up a post a couple of days ago. I was going to write about my relationship with God (or lack of), and ended up writing about Friendship. I left it up for a hot minute and ended up taking it down. I really can't write serious stuff on this blog anymore. What the hell is going on?

Someone stole my blog brain.

It's 9.20pm i am exhausted beyond belief. I have a half eaten meal i have been trying to force myself to eat since 6pm. I am hungry as hell but my appetite has been non-existent since yesterday, so i have been forcing down high calorie stuff aka double chocolate chip muffin. I'm not trying to end up looking gaunt. I weighed myself this morning and i was 144 lbs. I have lost 21 lbs this year. A lot of it from conscious effort some of it from stress and crazy rotations. I actually haven't lost any weight this month. I stopped trying to as my mind has being on other things. I don't want to lose weight due to starvation because that's how you end up losing muscle mass.

I think there was a point to this post when i started but i have lost it because i am hungry, exhausted and half asleep all at the same time. I can't sleep when i am hungry, so i need some food in my belly. So hot milk here i come.

 New rotation tomorrow, in one of my least favorite areas. Got the day off today. It's a consult service and there were no patients. I couldn't have been happier, but in reality i wasn't. I don't have the brain power to be. It was just whatever. I have been going through the motions since July. My body is there but my mind if far, far away.

Far, far away. Seems like that's a phrase from an animated movie i have, but i can't remember which one. Is it from Tangled? I can't freaking remember.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

I believe in.....

Fortune cookies. 
Both the fortune and the cookie. 

What do you believe in? 

Sunday, September 8, 2013

New Blog.....

......i like

I read a couple of her older posts
They reminded me of when i first came here
How i suddenly had an "accent"
Not wanting to talk because i didn't want to have to repeat myself
 etc etc

It's amazing!!
Perfect example of a shared human experience. 
Everyone likes to think they are unique and different
which may be true
But people are more similar than different

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Beauty For Ashes

He'll give you beauty for ashes....
But who is he?!
That's the million dollar question. 

It's still a pretty quote. 
I like it.

This has not been a great year for blogging, huh? 
I know....
Nobody said life was easy Mehn......
Big girl panties have been activated a long time ago
But e dey bolobolo......Sometimes
I am such a razzoid. 

*Bolobolo.....The things you learn as a kid that never leave you. 
My pidgin english will always be on point. 
Who knows what that means? 

Damnnnn.....It's almost 11yrs since i left Nigeria 
and i have never been back
That is some crazy shit!  
It honestly doesn't feel that long. 
You should have seen me very recently insisting vehemently
 to an Attending that i was Nigerian, 
not African American or Nigerian American. 
He asked me to tell him what made me different. 
In my mind, i was like 'see JAMB question"
Is it by force? I said i'm Nigerian.
But as beggars for letters can't be choosers
I had to tell him WHY
I still think i am Nigerian
Blue passport and all. 
Na wa o!

Alright beautiful people, have a lovely week. 

Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

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