The devil be using me, son!

I really should go to sleep. I feel like the devil be using me* sometimes. My body would appreciate the early bed time but no! Everyday, after a futile attempt to study for one reason or the other, i give up and sit on this chair, ruminating like an old goat. I feel like less of a human being than i did when i first started med school. I am startled when I get compliments from random strangers usually in the hospital. I got on the elevator the other day and this older guy told me i was gorgeous and looked just like his girlfriend's daughter. Last month, I just finished jabbing this lady with a depo shot, and she was nice enough to tell me that i was very pretty. Talk true. She must have a high tolerance for pain or maybe she's a masochist because i felt anything but pretty or gorgeous or whatever. I feel like a corpse half the time and how i look is the last thing on my mind but i do appreciate the unexpected compliments because even though i don't feel like it, it reminds me i am alive.

 The worst thing anyone can ask me is how school is going or say happily, yay, you are almost done. Shey, you will invite me for your graduation. I just want to smack them. I just feel so irritated and annoyed.

I would like to push the pause button on life and just hibernate for a long while. If i had to do this over, i wouldn't. I would have accepted the non existent offer of that stinking rich, money dripping down his shoes, Alhaji and become a 9th and last favorite wife. Made! Instead i chose to have a brain and wanted to use it for something other than frying garri. Biggest mistake of my life.

I really don't know what i am doing up at this time. You see what i mean by the devil be using me? You see it?

*I guess i now speak broken american english aka ebonics? because i can't for the life of me translate that into proper english. I need to visit Nigeria and go brush up on my English. Isn't that ironic? lol.