Book Review - Egg-Larva-Pupa-Woman

SSD had a give away last year and i won this book. It arrived in my house in time for christmas, but i didn't get to read it until yesterday. I had started reading it in January right after my school wahala but i was too distraught to focus and the small font put me off. This past Saturday on my way to work, i noticed it sitting on the dresser and i decided to grab it in case i got a chance at work.

Wow! Best book i have read in a while. Absolute page turner. I couldn't put the book down. It's starts out in Nigeria pre-independence. It's a story about Nkiru and all the tradegies she faces in her young life and goes up to about 40years later. It's filled with unexpected twists and turns. I've read so many books, i can usually "predict" or at least have a sense where the story is going, but a few things caught me off guard in this book and i really liked that.

I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a good Nigerian book to sink their teeth into. The only thing i didn't like about the book was the small font. Thank God for 20/20 vision, anything less and it would have been a problem.

My weight loss program is shot! I have managed to eat myself back to 156lbs from 152lb :( I ate to my hearts content today cos from tomorrow i'm going to be responsible. I can't go back to school fat. I need to be at most 148lbs by August and it's doable if i just stop eating irresponsibly. More oatmeal and less cheesecake. Yes, I can!!!

Pick me, chose me, let me be the one.................lol

Hey Lovies,
How are u guys doing? I have gist aplenty. This is actually my 4th attempt to put up a post in the last couple of days, and by hook or crook, i shall blog today.  Ahem, cough, cough, before i go any further, today is the 31st of May O! It's time to head up over to The Nigerian Blog Awards and support your girl, Sting for best personal blog and Blog(s)Ville Gist for best group or collaborative Blog. I think it would be awesome to win, and we can all come back here and eat some cheesecake to celebrate : D. Well, if you don't like cheesecake, u can at least watch me eat mine. Either way it's a win, win situation.

Now on to amebo gist. My bachelor situation has taken an unexpected turn. Craziness, i tell ya! Remember the video i put up? 0.27s, oya go and look and come back. Did u look? Isn't he cute? That's all i'm saying. So while all this is going on, Mr. Man that i thot i was done with, decides to come back. I just want to run away from it all. Too much activity for me. In spite of all the madness, i still look forward to the day that i will know within myself that i found the right person for me.

Moving on, on Friday when i got to work, i found out they had assigned me to work on the kids unit.  I freaked out for like 2 minutes, like seriously freaked out. Kids at mental hospitals scare me. The ones at my current job mostly have behavior issues and the only time i ever worked on that unit was during my orientation at the beginning of March so i felt like a fish out of water. I sha prayed and it was a very easy and calm day. They all behaved very well on friday during my shift.  Looking at the kids behave like hooligans both yesterday and today, just let me know that God answers prayers because those kids are bad. I don't have power to be shouting, breaking up fights or any of that crap. Staff gets hurt all the time on that unit. I didn't feel so bad for freaking out when a dude came on this afternoon and refused to work there.

Let me leave you guys with some cuteness. Remember to go vote! I love you guys very much and marvel at how we have managed to become an online community. Don't forget to join the Nigerian Blog Awards page on facebook HERE. You guys are awesome. Have a good week guys and be safe.

Brand New 2FACE video "ONLY ME"

Christ!

So i decided to do what i have been avoiding for a while now and tally up how much i have spent in buying calling cards to Nigeria since October of last yr. I picked October to start from because that's when the madness started. I buy my cards from ctacard.com and they keep a record of all your purchases so it's easy to go back and see how much you have spent. I wouldn't even dare go back and count from 2005 when i first started buying from them. I am most certain i would have a heart attack if i did that.

So my dear friends on blog(s)ville, how much have i spent in calling Nigeria from October 4 - May 25th?


$720

I can't process my thots right now. I really can't. That's a whole new wardrobe right there. I could get 10 really nice handbags with that amount. I think i lost my mind. I am quitting cold turkey. Those $10 every few days really add up, we all can see how it went from just $10 to $720.

What can i say? I did it in the name of "love" (Well, 90% of it anyway). I think it's high time i find someone within the United States, not even Canada that i can use my unlimited minutes on. So i am formally saying Good bye! to all my international loves and love interests. If you want to talk to me on the phone, feel free to call me. I'll answer but I'm not calling you anymore!!!!!

Chineke, God in heaven! I feel a headache coming on.

P.S Join the Nigerian Blog Awards fan page on facebook, HERE. You know you want to ;)

Pick One

So this blog post is all about choices..... Yes, you my lovies are going to be making some choices for moi : D Why? Cos you love me. You know u do. Anyhoodle, I was tickled pink when i found out yesterday that my blog was nominated for Best Personal Blog. Besides Simeon, whom i tend to harass from time to time on Skype, i didn't really bother much about being nominated and according to him, he didn't nominate me for any of the categories cos i didn't qualify....... side eye to you Simeon : )

I was pleased, am not going to lie, especially for the category i was nominated under. I don't share as much as i would like to, but I'm glad you guys like my blog enough to nominate me. If you nominated me, thank you very much. I appreciate it.  May 31st when voting opens, i will be harassing you guys to Puh lease, go vote for moi. { Simeon !!!!!} lol

Oya o! Wahala dey. I don't know why my life cannot just be straightforward. I somehow found a way to get myself in another situation. Long and short of the story..... I'm in a love triangle and it's getting complicated. It's getting complicated BECAUSE I like the two of them. So just for the fun of it cos God knows i probably would not end up with either guy, i want you guys to pick for me.

Bachelor A
PROS - Very easy on the eyes
-I fell in like with him the first time we spoke
-Majorly attracted to him
-Great conversation that first day
-He told me he likes me
-Plenty compliments
-Slightly risque conversations
-Na fine boy (seriously)
-Calm and laid back.
-He is a major sweetheart...

CONS- When i asked him if he had a chic, he said "Not yet". (????? What the fuck is that?)
-He has a chic he likes and if he had his way would be with her but......... but dey the matter.
-So what? Are you settling for me?
-You can't like me and like someone else..... Abomination of the first order
-Worried i might have fallen in like with him that day on a rebound. Not sure.
-Conversation not so great anymore.
-We don't have lengthy, meaningful conversations regularly
-He's in the UK
Side note: Get more confused everything i speak to him cos his voice is very soothing and he's so sweet and i realize am still in like with him.

Bachelor B
PROS: Cute with a capital Q
-My kind of pretty boy cute, just the way i like 'em
-Awesome, awesome gister
-Great conversation. I have spent approximately 4 hours everyday talking to this dude for the last 2 weeks
-Great listener
-Caring
-Comfortable
-He used to call me his guy
-Then he said he was catching feelings
-Now he's in love with me
-He doesn't like anyone else but me (at the moment)

CONS
-Cute with a capital Q
-He's too fine (yes, i'm learning slowly but surely)
-He said lately he has a tendency to like people, then fall out of like with him after a while
-He also said i might be the one to change that
-Should i put my money on that?
-Fickleness, especially in relationships scare me.
-He's in the UK

Side note: He is cute! I like looking at him. I enjoy our no strings attached, everything conversations. If i was serious (and ready) I could totally see myself falling for this guy big time.

PROBLEM 1: Bachelor A and Bachelor B are cousins
PROBLEM 2: Bachelor A said from day 1 that he liked me, and he told Bachelor B and another cousin who is my friend. Both Bachelor A and B know that i like Bachelor A. Only cousin knows I'm currently swinging like a pendulum
PROBLEM 3: Bachelor A already talks to me like he likes me and knows that i like him back
PROBLEM 4: I really like Bachelor B now, but i still like Bachelor A
PROBLEM 5: I complicate my own damn life.

Semi-serious Disclaimer: I just got out of a relationship that has left me emotionally drained at the moment. I am not looking to start another one so soon. *Humor me guys, I know they are cousins but if you had to who would you pick?

By the way, neither of these guys have actually said anything about wanting to be with me, although it can be assumed, but i chose not to assume anything at this point. Does "I like you or I'm in love with you = i want to be with you these days? All these breed of guys we have roaming the streets these days, i don't trust them.

Thots on a Saturday Afternoon

I'm lying here trying to figure out how i ended up in this love triangle. Two cousins vs. Sting. Recipe for disaster.

I decided to start taking active steps to live life to the fullest and stop being so passive about some of the things i want to do. I need to break out of my shell and go out there and meet people. So i have decided to make a bucket list. Maybe when I'm done I'll share it with you guys but i suspect that it will be an ongoing list.

First couple of things though is register to be a bone marrow donor and when i go do a change of address on my license become an organ donor also. I'm also interested in AIDS awareness, my school has an organization solely dedicated to that and i plan to be very active in it when i get back. I guess if i was trying to find positives out of my school situation, one of the good things is when i go back, i know exactly what i will be involved in and what not to waste my time on.

Like the free clinic, i will definitely not be signing up for that. Yes, it's an awesome idea, the only problem is you have no control when you will be scheduled to work at the clinic. Last semester, i was scheduled to work the weekend before an exam. Me being me, I did not bother to show up which i know is very unprofessional and of course i got reprimanded for it. I just feel like if I'm volunteering for something, i should be able to pick a time when it's convenient for me, otherwise, it's no longer volunteering. SNMA, i don't think i will bother with too much. They still owe me $9 or a tee shirt. How are you going to pass out t-shirts at a party and don't bother to look for those were not there. Best believe I'm getting my t-shirt when i go back.

Crap! I just remembered i haven't filled out my video mentoring application. It took them over 2 months to get back to me, so i can make them wait too. That's something i really want to do, so I'll stop procrastinating and get on it.

My 19yr old 2nd cousin (her dad is my first cousin) wrote on facebook "My father is a fucking cunt". I thot someone was playing a prank with her FB account, cos her brother's friends tend to mess with his FB a lot and put that he is gay and stuff like that. Anyway, she wasn't joking cos she and her friends commented on it and she wrote some more stuff. Mind you, i am from a very large family and only met this chic on facebook. Her grandfather was my dad's oldest brother (so her grandfather was my uncle; he's late). I'm not the only relative she has on facebook cos we have more than a few mutual friends with the same last name. It just made me wonder how aware she is that everyone can see what she writes on her status message or does she not just care?

I've heard pple complain that some people share TMI on FB. I've never had that experience, if someones feed is annoying me for whatever reason, i hide it sharp, sharp. I have over 50 "friends"  that i have hidden their feed from my page. Don't want to know or see, u r stressing me out.

Does anyone watch The Real Housewives of NY? I just watched the last episode on demand today. Is it just me or is Kelly really crazy? I think she has some mental illness. All joking aside. I see symptoms, big time. Unless she's putting on a show. I had a patient yesterday who thot she was the queen of England. No joke!! Young, good looking chic too. Sad!

I won a free meal at work, cos someone nominated me for doing a good job. I met one of the directors yesterday and she asked me my name when i told her, she was like I've heard a lot of good things about you. I was surprised, well not that surprised. They all love me and want to work with me cos i actually work instead of act busy. Anyhoodle, I'm off to work. Enjoy the rest of your weekend guys and if you haven't already, check this out. Gotta love him.

Most Inspiring Blog

So, i finally submitted my nominations for the Nigerian Bloggers Award yesterday. If you haven't, please go over HERE and do it. I didn't submit a nomination for each category because there were some i just couldn't even think of a blog in that category. The science and technology blog for instance drew a complete blank. One category that gave me pause was Most Inspiring Blog - Blog that regularly inspires the reader. Most blogs i read on blogsville including mine, are very mundane. We write about everyday stuff, nothing earth shattering, nobody has found the cure for cancer or anything of that nature. We are mostly just regular people, living regular lives. I think i passed on that category also. However, it bothered me enough that it was the first thing on my mind when i woke up today; which blogger has inspired me.

Most of the blogs i read, for some reason are Nigerian, but i tend to branch out every once in a while when i stumble on a non-Nigerian blog that catches my fancy. I first stumbled on this blog 65 red roses in 2008, but i never saved the link and didn't go back until another blogger on my blog roll put up an entry about her. In her latest entry, she had made a video to let everyone know that she only had a couple more days left to live. It took me two days but i read every entry she had ever made, watched her videos, looked at her pictures, she shared so much of herself, it was easy to feel like i knew her.

Here was someone who was facing death with courage and love. She suffered from Cystic Fibrosis, had a double lung transplant 2 years ago and was now experiencing chronic rejection. I saw how she lived her life to the fullest in spite of CF trying to hold her down. I think she was a truly unique individual. Contrary to what she had said in her video, she didn't die in the next two days. She passed away on March 27th, 3 days to her 26th birthday. I had been praying for her and i felt gutted when i read that she had passed away.

This is a blogger whom i can truly say has inspired me. Not just because she was dying or has passed away but because of the way she choose to live her life, her courage in dealing with her disease, her work with CF and getting people to become organ donors, and her message of love. She was and continues to be an inspiration to me.

It's not how long we live that matters, but what we do with the time we have been gifted with.

There is a painting that was made in her honor. It is going to be auctioned off and all proceeds go to CF foundation. However, posters of the painting were also made and they are been sold on the Canadian Cystic Fibrosis Foundation website for $65. Even though it is slightly expensive for a poster according to my bank account, i am seriously considering buying it. With shipping to the States, it comes up to $80. All proceeds go to the CF foundation.

Update

I feel like i'm able to breath again. Finally! I;m really thankful for that. I missed being my cheerful, talk a whole lot of nonsense goofy self. So because i'm nice, i'm going to share my cute friend with u guys. He's one of the cute guys i talked about but i won't say which one.


 Check out 0.27s of the video. He's the dude on the left.

On to more serious business. I am calling for June Birthday for my blogsville Gist blog. You can either leave it here or go over to the Blogsville Gist blog and leave it over there. Hopefully, i will have it up the on time so we can celebrate with all the people celebrating their birthdays in June.

Bye Lovies.

Antsy

I feel very ansty. Like i'm waiting for something to happen and i'm not even sure what it is. I'm restless, on edge, pretty much in a gray area. Don't like it too much cos i like my life to be orderly.

So the fine boy that i met, doesn't actually have a chic but he has a chic he likes. However according to him, she is seasonal. He says he likes me. Am i now his second choice or is he giving up on first chic that won't agree for him? Don't know and i this point, i don't care too much. I've been talking to his much cuter cousin (whom for whatever reason, i'm not attracted to), come to find out today that he might like me, but he won't do anything about it out of principle. He knows his cousin likes me and i already mentioned that i liked his cousin. This dude is pretty boy cute with a capital Q! Not sure y i am not attracted to him cos his my kind of cute. We shall see sha. The one that i think i'm attracted to is meskaforming. I don't have time.

I'm still dealing with Mr. Man issues, so i'm not serious about anything. Just enjoying the gisting and blooming friendships and the attention too :) Taking one day at a time. I no fit shout.

For some reason, i have been craving sweets. Yesterday, i pretty much didn't eat food, besides cereal and some general tso's chicken from the walmart deli. I had a slice of caramel turtle pecan cheese cake for breakfast (YES!!!, bad i know), then some key lime cheese cake after cereal for lunch. Then a piece of banana nut muffin, then some pound cake in the evening. I had to physically stop myself. Little surprise that i went from 152lb to 154lbs in 2 days. I can't help myself. Don't even know if this is emotional eating cos i haven't even being wanting to eat lately.

I ate much better today though. Although i did have another slice of the caramel turtle pecan cheesecake and a very very little piece of strawberry swirl cheesecake. I almost reached for the key lime cheesecake but i stopped myself and grabbed an orange instead. In case u r wondering, i absolutely love cheesecake and once a month, i get to eat it. I bought the cheesecake sampler for $6.00 from walmart and it had 4 different flavors, then i bought a little mini individual key lime cheesecake. Then my sister got a pound cake and a medium red velvet cake for her fiance. So yes, there's currently a lot of cake in the refrigerator at the moment. It's crazy, i know. Cos in the last couple of months, all u see in the refrigerator is healthy stuff. Spinach, carrots, mixed veggies, broccoli. Not even bread.

I'll do better tomorrow. Hopefully :)

Nigerian Blog Awards - Public Annoucement

via -- BBB

Hey guys its that time of the year again
this year the awards has been put together by goodnajagirl(GNG)
she put a lot of hardwork into it
please head over and nominate your favourite blogs for the Category A nominations
nominations will be open till 24th May 2010
thereafter the top contenders will be annouced
and voting will begin on Category A
please head over to the website for more details
dont forget to pick a bloggers award badge for your blog
and put in those nominations
do your bit
thanks for your time
to go to the Nigerian Blog Awards site click HERE

The List

Unlike Chilli from VH1's what Chilli wants, i like to think that i don't have a list. So i was talking to a friend yesterday and i told him that i don't have a list, i like to go with the flow, but I can't date a short guy, and i like cute guys and he laughed and said like all girls i was confused and contradicting myself. In my bid to further explain myself, i said NO!!! I'll date anyone, but i really don't want a

• short guy
• I want a cute guy
• I like dark skinned guys - never been attracted to light skinned guys
• He has to be ambitious and driven
• Good command of the English language especially if you are Nigerian
• I really want a Nigerian man
• He can't have a mean streak or be harsh
• He can't be too soft or too harsh, he has to be balanced
• Did i say he has to be cute
• I don't want a guy who smokes
• I want a guy who thinks the sun rises and sets on me
• I want that 1 in 10 guy who doesn't cheat
• Someone who will love me for me
• I want a sweetheart
• A guy who is supportive and caring
• I want someone who knows it's hardwork being in a relationship and is prepared to work on it
• I want a nice guy
• Someone who has good morals and puts God first

Hmmm...... maybe i do have a list. Permit me to continue to think otherwise. It sounds better when i say it. Oya, people tell me. What's on ur list? Do you or do u not have one?

Modelogues- Something to brighten up your day

Love is......

Look at that smile. She has our smiling eyes. When i smile, my eyes turn to slits just like hers is in the picture. Too cute. When i saw the picture, i thot she was being given a bath, but found out this was after a messy eating session. I guess learning how to eat is hard work. I love my little maama and looking at this picture makes me happy.

Chineke

I don jam another fine boy!!!! God, help me! Look at me, smiling like a christmas goat today. The main thing is instead of me spending the evening moping around and being sad, i spent it smiling and laughing with my friend's cousin. He told me i was very pretty. I told him about my current situation, and he was like, one door has to close for another one to open. I can't remember how i responded, but he was like, you don't know whether another door has just opened. Hmmmmm......

God, what is with me and all these fine boys? They are not good for me o! but they won't leave me alone. Thinking of him is just making me smile. I'm in trouble!!!

ETA:
Double Mschewwwww! Dude has a girlfriend. Thank God for facebook. Shey i said it. After flirting with me yesterday, sending me a message this morning, then asking for my number and calling me this evening, only to find out he has a serious chic. God punish him.

Best thing about today

Some retail therapy was definitely in order.

I feel better after my shopping stint, plus i got a friend to shave his beard in exchange for me being happy. Can you imagine the silliness? He really shaved. I was just grinning from ear to ear when i saw him on skype today. Silly goose. 

Sorry for all my gloomy and sad posts. This year has been something else, but i'm getting back to myself. I didn't get out of bed until 12pm today. I spent the whole morning in bed listening to T.D. Jakes, Let it go. I must have listened to it 30 times. It was like a balm soothing my aching heart. I will share some of the things i took from it. Things that have helped me make sense of a senseless situation.

"Nothing just happens"
"When people can walk away from you, let them walk, because your destiny is not tied to the one who left"
"Know when someone's part in your story is over"
"You have to know when it's dead, so you don't keep trying to raise the dead"
"If you tried to fix it and make it work and it wouldn't work, it wasn't an accident"
"Stop begging people to stay. Let them go"

T.D. Jakes said "I have the gift of goodbye, it's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful because whatever God means for me to have, he'll give it to me. If it takes too much sweat, I don't need it"  
 That's deep. I need the gift of goodbye.  I definitely don't have it. It all comes with having faith and trusting that God will take care of you regardless. That is freaking deep!!!!

I made a decision that is hard to deal with, but i'm sure it was the right decision. It's not what i would have wanted but I can't settle for less than i deserve. Even though things are not officially ended at this point (a whole lot of back and forth, on my part), It ended in my head yesterday after a very long and nonsense conversation. I can deceive the world, but i can never deceive myself.  As hard as it is, i have to do what's best for me and my future. I know that there's true love out there for me and i will be blessed enough to find it. I'm willing to wait and not settle for less. It's hard! but i have dragged this on for too long and i'm ready to let go so i can find peace and be happy once again. Life's too short.

2.14 - 5.45 is where i liked

Introspective rant

I am utterly, utterly, absolutely pathetic!!!!! I HATE myself so much right now. I know better, yet i won't do better. I can't! It's like a demonic spirit has taken over my mind and i have lost all my reasoning. I don't recognize myself, or like what i'm seeing.

I am such a Scorpio! This need for control is going to send me to an early grave. Only me wants to use my hand to kill myself. Mental torture, emotional torture, physical torture. The devil is after my life o. God!

I've lost my self respect.
I've lost my dignity.
I've lost my pride.

All for what? I need this pain to end. God, u r so much better than this and you know it. I'm so ashamed of u. I can't wait for this time of my life to be over. I know i will look back and ask myself "what were u thinking?"

I hate today with a passion.

I can't continue like this.