Monday, May 3, 2010

Introspective rant

I am utterly, utterly, absolutely pathetic!!!!! I HATE myself so much right now. I know better, yet i won't do better. I can't! It's like a demonic spirit has taken over my mind and i have lost all my reasoning. I don't recognize myself, or like what i'm seeing.

I am such a Scorpio! This need for control is going to send me to an early grave. Only me wants to use my hand to kill myself. Mental torture, emotional torture, physical torture. The devil is after my life o. God!

I've lost my self respect.
I've lost my dignity.
I've lost my pride.

All for what? I need this pain to end. God, u r so much better than this and you know it. I'm so ashamed of u. I can't wait for this time of my life to be over. I know i will look back and ask myself "what were u thinking?"

I hate today with a passion.
I can't continue like this.


  1. you are NOT pathetic, come on, you're sting, strong independent, intelligent sting, yeah you've "lost" a lot, today sucked, that's why you have tomorrow to do better, i've had a suckish 2010, more or less, it's really hard, but try staying positive. hope things work out for you though.

  2. Just stay positive and will be fine. Being Scorpio is fun..embrace it.

  3. na wa. I don't know what ur on about, but sorry sha. I hope ur ok?

  4. You and I know that you are NOT pathetic. Yes, you may have done something that makes you question yourself and values and etc. However, that doesn't now undo the good that you've had in your life, or that is still to come.

    Pele dear. I hope you feel better soon. Tk cr.

  5. Kpele! You have to try and stay positive. Fixate on a good "thing" in the future and look forward to that. You can't let other people bring you down, or allow yourself to get stuck on the negative.

  6. E ya pele o...this too shall pass. It is well

  7. Babe calm down...calm down...people make mistakes everyday...we all make mistakes daily...its not how you fall but how you get up, and keep moving.

    Your pride and your dignity are not lost regardless of the situation...your pride and your dignity will be judged on how you handle d situation.

    If God can forgive HAVE to forgive yourself.

    Take it easy!

  8. *sigh*.....HE loves us regardless of our filthiness... SO NEVER YOU JUDGE YOURSELF!
    P.S though my comment is coming late, but am glad you are over it. XOXO.


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