Thursday, September 25, 2008

Adventures of a dog walker

You guys should help me thank Baba J oh! It's a miracle that i'm alive and still breathing. Seriously, that's how one black devil in disguise aka pit bull almost ate me and Lenie for dinner. God! I have never been so scared in my life, see me see death. I said Lord, i'm not ready. I'm not ready, save meeeeeeeeeeeeeee............................. So here i was jejely walking my dog, minding my own business, the next thing i see, this black ugly beast of a dog comes charging towards me and Lenie. He doesn't even bark. I start screaming, "come get ur dog" For where, nobody shows up. First of all, tell me why should they chain that kind of dog in a yard that has no fence?! I start backing into the street, the dog was right on top Lenie, sniffing him with a very mean look on it's face (or maybe the beast is just ugly, i don't know). By this time i was all the way in the middle of the road oh. I no care whether car dey come. I just wanted to get away. This street that is usually so busy was empty at a time when i needed someone. When i backed all the way to the other side of the street, this dog raises his head and looks me straight in the eye. Hey! I say my own done finish, i go die for here today.

Foolish owner of dog, did not hear my weak screams. I was shaking like a fool. I'm such a wuss. Thankfully, a car drove down, and the dog turned and went back into his yard. As soon as the car drove away, he comes charging back with full speed towards us. But this time there's another dude that's walking and he manages to scare him away. The same thing happened yesterday with another dog, but thankfully the owners were outside and were able to pull him away. I'm getting sick and tired of these irresponsible dog owners that live in my neighborhood. Don't have a man eating animal, call it a dog and then refuse to build a fence. It seems like all the dogs in my neighborhood are pit bulls or rottweilers or any other ugly dog with the potential to kill someone. I don't care as long as they are behind a fence barking their little hearts out. Just don't come charging at me almost giving me a heart attack/making me pee my pants, while ur irresponsible owner is chilling inside listening to my girlish screams. I don't like embarrassing myself like that abeg. They want to ruin my rep in that neighborhood.

BTW, i have the worst crush ever on this dude. He is in charge of something something that has to do with chemicals and waste management and that type of stuff. I attended a training session that he held on how to use this new program and i just wanted to run away the entire time. I couldn't even look at his face. I'm very uncomfortable around guys i'm attracted to. He is too too cute. He has the kind of chipmunky face that i like. I'm almost drooling just thinking about him. So anyway, after the initial training session 2 weeks ago, i had some problems adding inventory to the program, so he came down to the lab to help me out yesterday. You would think my attraction to him would have lessened. It's worse. He is freaking tall ( i don't necessarily like tall guys but i like this one). The way i was acting it was like i couldn't wait for him to leave cos i was so uncomfortable. He had a stain on his shirt, and i was tempted to dust it off, just to touch him (sexual harrasment anyone?!), but i behaved myself and just told him about it. After he left, to my eternal shame i went to search for him on facebook. I'm finished! No hope for me.

Life is not fair! I'm angry. How come i'm not attracted to any of the guys that ask me out? They are all borderline ugly/unattractive. WHY? Why do the cute ones like this not talk to me? I'm angry, seriously, seriously angry. He has graciously asked me to call him up whenever i have any questions or problems with the program. I'm tempted to take him up on that offer even though i have mastered the whole thing. I just have to cook up a problem if i can grow the balls to do so. I could add him on facebook too, but that would just be superweird. I've never done that b4 and i hate the thing (facebook) anyway. HELP me lord, do not abandon me at the point of my need (abi, no be so dem take dey talk am?)


  1. "Don't have a man eating animal, call it a dog and then refuse to build a fence."

    lol. It's so true but it did crack me up, especially the "call it a dog" part.

    I would have been scared to death. I really have a hard time understanding pit bulls and their mentality--everyone knows that's a breed that means business (aka killing).

  2. And also? Did I miss the entry where you told us you named him Lenie? I have to go back and read.

    lol "sexual harrassment anyone"! I'm not sure why we aren't attracted to guys that are attracted to us, and why the ones we find delicious seem just slightly out of reach. God will help us sha.

  3. you're such a wuss! lol, the bigger the dog, the better!

  4. LMAO!!! I don't blame you o. I don't play dogs at all, if it has a mean growl, don't mess with me, I will kill something.

    This your obsession with training dude is serious o. All of you should send me your resume, I'll send good boys your way. Call me Dr. Invisible.

  5. Men, that's one problem I have with dogs oh. I only like the one I own. Every other one (especially ones like pit bulls rots) should back off!!

    I can only imagine how scared you were.

    Don't add the dude on facebook oh. That wuld really be creepy. lol. The best thing is to manyfacture a problem and play damsel in distress...even if just for a little bit.

    Come oh, whatever happened to that ur boyfriend in whatever continent??

  6. Wait oh, so you ran away and left Ikechukwu to fend for himself???? lol! This babe, you bad o!!

  7. u named him Lenie...awwwww.How cute :).Sorry i didn't read the post, when i saw his name i had to make a comment.

  8. so u finally named the dog.. lenie.. not bad.. ikechuwkwu was tell me why do cute guys not ask us out??

    hmm na wao.. lets fast and pray about

  9. I am absolutely terrified of dogs. If I am visiting anyone's house I ask if they keep dogs. It must be chained before I enter o.

    Maybe you should threaten to sue one of the owners if the harrasment occurs again that might work.

    Dream up a problem for the cute guy. I feel. It drives me up the wall that the guys I am not attracted to come ask me out. Good luck!

  10. Awwww...Pele dearie. Definitely feeling you on the crush thing...not funny but you had me laughing my head off...wanting to dust his shirt and all that.

    I would second Vera...don't add him on FB. Play damsel in distress instead;-)

  11. LMAO. u sound really scared i could feel ur fear. ROFLMAO.if it was me i'd have beaten d world race record anyways thank God u are alright

  12. like Lenie,such a cut name!

    shooo...i'd pissed in my pant or run like hell wen i saw it coming towards me. i hate big dogs...

    lol @ destroying ur rep in d neighborhood...

  13. kai,pitbulls...deadly mehn but mayb it shud hav bit u atleast u wud hav some valid reason to call that your harrassment..lmao..u?harrass wo? c me c luv o
    hav u heard "omo udon make me fall in luv" by D'banj?may u shud sing it to d dude

  14. Those pit bulls are serious!! The government is considering annihilating them because they kill far too many people. Glad to know you are okay.

    As for cute! you are too funny. But, i can't wait to hear what you do next.

  15. Urmmmm - I am scared of huge dogs oh. I love that name Lenie, its so cute. About the cute boy - please get your flirt on o, and give him gentle suggestions that you will like to sting him (hehehe). Only god will save us from the uglies.

  16. Sorry dear, I get very heart broken when I hear a bigger dog mauled a smaller dog or a person to death when it could have been prevented in the first place. EVERY DOG needs to be on a leash. Both for protecting it and other dogs/people.
    I'm glad you and lil fur baby Lenie are okay.

    Ok, with the boi at the job, remind me to tell you how my story went with the Six sigma guy, in other words look somewhere else, TOTALLY. NOT. WORTH. IT!!

  17. Me i don't have a lot of patience for dogs in d 1st place and i can like to form hard babe sha, but not for pitbull o.

    As for cute guys, hmmmmm, i need to just have one to be looking at right now. I trust myself to do nothing abt it. Some ppl r just better left as crushes. There for u to flirt mildy with and just leave it there.

  18. mehn, you're not the only one o. i'm always turning myself away from the guys that have shown interest in me, it's ridiculous. I'm not even the least bit attracted.
    it's annoying...

  19. ok see if it'd been me, first of all i wont actually be walking a dog. i do not like them. from a distance, maybe. as in, on a chain type distance!
    pele. i'da freaked out and run the hell away!!

  20. Wow mehn..thank God for ur life

    Im really tryna picture this dude, tall with a chipmunk-like face..hehehe theres no harm in cookin up a problem ;) ..pls resist the urge to add him on fb!

  21. maybe the cute ones dont like you..beacuse to them you are like the ugly ones you dont like..maybe??lol!!ok just kidding

  22. Anonymous: You are a genius. You know u could be right? There's no need to LOL and say u r kidding after u just hit the nail on the head.

    BTW, since u just did it, y do pple say what they really mean but cover it up by writing LOL, just kidding? We know u r not kidding. STOP it!


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