Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The low road

I just want to let you guys know that this blog is no longer just my blog o! It is now for me and california girl. Eh hen! Since she wants to live and die on this blog, i have to make her co-owner of the blog. Na by force. Since what she knew about me wasn't enough, her sickness of distrust compelled her to see the need to be sneaky and spy on me through my blog.

My blog was supposed to be an outlet. A sanctuary away from friends and family. Nevermind that it is online and anyone can see it. That's y it is anonymous so that i can be free to pour my heart out. These people don't know who i am. It was supposed to be theraupetic.

Why was it so hard for u to let me have this space for myself?

You knew everything about me anyway, but that wasn't enough for u. Instead u invaded my space, read what i wrote, made wrong assumptions and had the audacity to tell me that if i had nothing to hide why didn't i write about a certain incident on my blog. Because of YOU!!!! That's y. Why should i do exactly what u expect me to do?

What you did is exactly the same as taking someone's diary and reading it behind their back. I asked u straight up if you were reading my blog and u said NO. Yet, u could open ur mouth and call me a liar over some made up bullshit that u concocted. NYSC? Is that something to hide? Get out of here. You opened your mouth and defended your actions by saying that u didn't tell me u were reading my blog cos it would defeat the purpose. What purpose?!!! You being a sneaky rat and spying on me? You were the closest friend i had in this country, yet u felt the need to do that. You ought to be ashamed. What did u hope to find out?!!! What! What?! What! I would never do that to u. Never!

As if that is not enough, u pick a bunch of stupid, meaningless stuff that u read on my blog and used them as a basis for not wanting to talk to me. Thank u for choosing to deal with this situation that way. You did both of us a favor.

As for believing what Freddy said and what u wrongly assume i insinuated, i hope it makes u happy. It's called trust and giving someone the benefit of doubt in spite of all evidence to the contrary. You were supposed to know me enough to know that i would NEVER accuse YOU of that. I don't give a shit what was in that text message. Freddy knows i never once said or insinuated that. Yet, he sent u the text message to get back at me, and you chopped. Mouth wide open, u chopped. Believe what u chose to believe, i no longer give a shit. As long as my conscience is clear, that's all that matters to me. Let God be the judge of Freddy, and i hope God also gives u the ability to trust the people u call ur friends and not fall with whatever wind that blows.

For months i have wondered what i did to you but after listening to you talk yesterday, i stand by my initial belief that i didn't do anything to YOU. I am allowed to have private thoughts that i do not share with u. Even if we were twins, you still wouldn't know every minute detail about me and that's all i am guilty of. None is this is a big deal. If u had come to me with all these accusations when u first had them, we would never have taken this path. That's why i say, all the hours i spent talking to u was a waste of my time. Our friendship had no foundation. If something as stupid as this could cause you to react the way u did, then i'm glad everything ended when it did. Because obviously you are the kind of person who would believe whatever anybody tells you about me, letting me know u never knew me in the first place. Four years of friendship down the drain over you thinking i was coding stuff on my blog. Come on. Come on, seriously come on! That is the saddest shit ever.

Venom, venom? Are u serious? It's my fucking blog. I have the absolute right to write whatever i want to write on here. You chose to sneak in here and pretend u weren't reading my blog. You think u r slick. I hope u enjoyed reading what i wrote about you. It was exactly the type of stuff u were expecting to see, wasn't it? Don't get mad now. I stand 100% by what i wrote because it was exactly how i felt at that time, and i wanted YOU, my dear california girl to read it cos i knew u were coming here. If i chose to ask people's opinion of it, like u so mockingly said yesterday, that's my fucking business. You weren't invited here in the first place and u LIED that you weren't reading the blog. So take whatever u see, and keep it moving. Who's the liar now?

I'm glad we had the discussion yesterday. God knows i had no desire to carry over this bullshit into 2009 and for that i am grateful to you.

Happy new year my sweets. I'm sure you'll keep coming to this blog cos i got it like that and u can't get enough of me. I'll make sure i do my best to entertain you cos u r obviously my number 1 fan. Mwah!

Ciao baby.

P.S Lenie says hi. He loves everybody regardless of their flaws. I'm doing my best to emulate him, but it's kinda hard.

15 comments:

  1. Sorry dear. Friendships are really difficult. I am glad you have this space for ranting. Frreddie seems like the devil o. Are you sure you and Californian girl cant work things out? Maybe its just a misunderstanding.

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  2. I hope this was cathartic for you, sting, because the last thing you want to do (like you said) is carry this into 2009 with you. It's going to be a big year for you starting with med school, so you need to be in the best possible shape and surround yourself with people who will lift you up and bring joy to your life rather than bring you down.

    Like Temite, I know that friendships that seem to be o-v-e-r have a way of resuscitating themselves, even after hurtful words have been exchanged. Sometimes the fact that you can get that emotionally involved and caught up means that you both care and caring is certainly a good basis for a friendship.

    That being said, you know you best and I encourage you to do what you have to do to set yourself up for only good things in the new year.

    Happy New Year in advance! ♥♥

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  3. glad u dnt have to carry issues over to the next yr with u.

    Sometimes, a no-drama life is all we need!

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  4. if you have peace of mind with this, DO NOT TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING.

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  5. what goodnaijagirl said read like gospel to me.
    i really hope this was carthartic for you.
    friends sometimes appear to be there just to hurt us, but there's usually more to it than we realise...

    i hope you have a great, positive, drama-free 2009. and i hope you really find peace.

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  6. there is a certain limit to the drama that one can be allowed to take from friends. I think this one has passed the quota (if its the same babe u wrote about in ur other blogs).

    also, NOBODY can dictate what u write on ur blog, nobody but YOU.

    once med school starts, trust me, you would be too busy for all these unnecessary drama-filled alliances.

    Enjoy while you can! and Happy New year!

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  7. Ok, i don't know anything about u and California girl, but this just kinda hit close to home for me, tho in my own case i've crunkly refused to address the issue.

    Hope u have a drama-free New yr.

    Goodluck in the new year dear.

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  8. Sorry dear! It's difficult when you feel you've lsot a good friend...all the same, I'm glad you could let out your feelings; maybe things can be resolved now.

    Happy New Year dear, may 2009 be filled with OVERWHELMING SUCCESS and UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS! All is well!

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  9. Is this the same gist/girl from like early this year?!?! Please just end it and let it go. 2009 should not see this much unnecessary drama!

    Happy New-Year sweety!!

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  10. I hope you both resolve this amicably. I pray that people we learn to respect our space and not try to get into our heads

    It's your blog and it's your thoughts

    Happy new yr

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  11. Don't know if I showed up late but If there's no such word(s) like 'happy belated New Year' then I'm still chanced to say HAPPY NEW YEAR..
    Enjoy every bit..

    ReplyDelete
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