Saturday, December 8, 2012

Having a good relationship

 My apologies to anyone who came to read about how to keep a man in my last post. You really should have known better. I have nothing. LOL. I'm still trying to figure that out myself.

esmile4ena commented on my last post....

hmmmmm. You serious abi u dey joke? What I know is the above just might work. Truth is 4 out of 5 times the most hardworking wins. I have been best man and compere enough times to knowquite often when it comes down to picking a woman, guys usually pick the one who takes care of them the most. U doubt me? That "runs girl" in uni actually does wash and clean for her boyfriend. So when you hear "na ashawo first dey marry" know it is because "ashawo" holds tight to her man and believes she is not good enough and works extra hard and railroads the man to the altar and the couple gets thrown "white rice" as confetti (oyibo culture. if you throw rice wey people never chop for Africa, na quarrel you dey find) How is that for "white on rice?

He was the only one who thought my tips could be valid. Does he have a point? I am also very curious as to what it takes to "keep" a man aka have a good relationship. Of course, it takes two to tango and both parties have to want to work on it, but what can a woman do? What are the basic things men want?

People say men are like babies. How true is that? I would love to have someone cater to me too, so i see how a man might enjoy that kind of treatment, but does that guarantee a good relationship? I really would love some insight on this topic.

There's this one man like that that i'm trying to keep, so help a sista out. In case you are wondering, his name is Jesus. He could be jewish or Mexican but that's for me to know and for you to guess.

Ore-Oluwa followed with a post on How to get the Man of your dreams. LOL. Getting cool with mom doesn't always work o.


  1. I shall return to read the answers of those who have insight because I have nil

  2. I see my carry-talk generated a whole post. OKAY NAH!! I am doubling down on what I said above. Methinks that 80 percent of the time, a guy sticks with the girl that does the most for him. My dad for instance was from a very poor home and mom from a relatively rich one. (rich enough dad to build African Church Effurun and dash it to oyibo. while my dad was busy "borrowing coal" from the train station in Enugu to be able to feed...borrowed coal that never was paid back. lol)
    So when rich village girl with akara plated hair saw poor young university boy on Awolowo's scholarship in Ibadan, she actually did a lot to see him through school while also attending hers. They have been together officially since 1969 and as i write this they will be in the room talking endlessly as they are wont to do.
    Now the above stories never get told. It is the one where they say "after all she did for him, after all the love she showed... after... after..." that people remember.
    In addition, the most stable marriages are the Catholic Ibos. These women are their husbands salesperson and bookkeeper. They begin the day together by going to Morning Mass, then the man does school runs with the family pick up or van and he and the woman open the shop and begin the day's sale. The children return from school and report to the shop. At the end of the day, they lock up shop and go home together.
    The man may have no more than an hour or two to drink Star Beer or Guinness with his friends in a bar and he is back home. I have never heard it said the woman was on him like white on rice or that they "crowded" each other etc.
    If the truth be told, the feeling claustrophobia is a clear sign of diminished love. Let us face it, when you guys started weren't you always wanting to be in each other's company? Now you want space. The toy is now old isn't it.
    I think that mutual self-sacrifice is the best was way to guarantee a movement to the altar. However, closely followed is sacrifice on the part one of the parties. I am yet to see a couple that got married with both sides playing it super-cool, comported, "mumuless" and or unruffled. For there to be a marriage, one person must be mugu and since there is a biological clock on the part of the female, since they are the ones people will pressure to "bring home a man" and since wedding cake is the best cake in all the world and that white dress is the sum of their desire, just like Mrs So and So, methinks the woman will most likely be saddled with the onerous task of being the mumu. (Seriously, sitting down to watch all Chelsea games with me cannot be that bad is it?...even though you hate soccer. That's right, good girl. Know their names as well. How much is you bride price again?)

    1. So in order words be the mumu cos you r female and the one society pressures to get a husband? Rioghtttt.....

    2. My dear. I strongly disagree with both of dem. mumu love only takes u thus far. U lose urself in a man, keep quiet, swallow all his s**# and in d process lose ur identity as an entity. Am not saying being "submissive" ain't right. Am saying dat if ur with someone who treats u like u won a lottery ticket cos he s with U,who does not celebrate u,who expects u to give 95%and barely even tries to do any work in the relationship or marraige and u let him take u 4 granted and u put him ahead of urself and in the process 4get ur own personal happiness and fulfilment and ur consolation is that after all ur getting married or ur married and dat shld suffice den l think its bullocks and just mocks d whole institution. #justMyOpinion.

  3. There is no black and white in relationships, as there are any number of couples, there are any number of permutations. To each their own.


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