Tuesday, December 4, 2012

5 foolproof ways to keep a Man

  1. Be on your guy like white on rice. Call him all the time to check up on him. You have to be the first person he talks to in the morning and the last person he talks to at night. You have to know where he is and what he is up to at all times of the day. Guys like it when you don't give them breathing space it shows how much you care. 
  2. Guys like a strong (African) woman. If they talk one, you talk two. Let him know this is the 21st century and nobody can be the boss of you. Make sure he knows you are both the head and the neck. Show him how much of a fighter you are, that way he knows when push comes to shove, you will ride or die for the relationship. 
  3. Mold and shape him into exactly how you want him to be. Men are hard to find these days so take the best one you can find even though he might not be exactly what you want. If you want a preppy guy and you see a ruffian who knows how to speak good English, no worries. Just spruce him up, it's all about helping him advance as a person and guys love that. Besides, they love when you dress them and tell them how to act. Just don't do it (too much) in public. 
  4. Tell him what you want him to do, over and over and over again. He will thank you for it as he is aware of his limitations which include a short attention span or just plain laziness. You just have to keep reminding him. You wouldn't do it if you didn't love him and he knows that. Some people might call it nagging, but what do they know? 
  5. If you do all of the above and he stops answering your calls and starts avoiding you. Make sure you keep calling. 10 calls in one minute, is that the best you can do? Persistence is the key. Show up at his house, job, church, mother's house unannounced. How else would he know you really love him and can't imagine not having him in your life?

When you hold on tight to someone because you really love them and you can't imagine life without them, sometimes you end up holding too tight and choking the life out of it. Release and stand back. What's yours is yours. Relax.

"We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still." 
- Mignon McLaughlin

19 comments:

  1. Haha...when reading I thought the name should have been changed to 5 Foolish Ways to Lose a Man Quickly. Some parts of these instructions are true: we do want to know you care and will fight in the trenches, but being a strong (African) woman is knowing the difference between affection and obsession.

    Don't smother love joor!!

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  2. hmmmmm. You serious abi u dey joke? What I know is the above just might work. Truth is 4 out of 5 times the most hardworking wins. I have been best man and compere enough times to knowquite often when it comes down to picking a woman, guys usually pick the one who takes care of them the most. U doubt me? That "runs girl" in uni actually does wash and clean for her boyfriend. So when you hear "na ashawo first dey marry" know it is because "ashawo" holds tight to her man and believes she is not good enough and works extra hard and railroads the man to the altar and the couple gets thrown "white rice" as confetti (oyibo culture. if you throw rice wey people never chop for Africa, na quarrel you dey find) How is that for "white on rice?

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  3. I expected to come here and read how one needs to invest in leashes and chains. That is the only way to "keep" anyone. You surpassed my expectations though. Lol!

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  4. LMAO @ Natural Nigerian. Hehe.

    Sting, thanks for the tips jare. I've taken notes. You forgot to include planting a spy at his job, and pulling the occasional "whose pant is this in your bed?" stunt, just to keep him in check.

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  5. HA! Keep a man indeed! funny!

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  6. lmao............exactly!!!
    5 sure ways to make a guy tag you "desperate"

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  7. I agree with you, there is no sure fire way to keep a man. Be yourself and what is yours will surely be yours. When desperation sets in it becomes unattractive and you attract the wrong kind of man. Enjoy life, achieve your goals and when the right man comes he will recognize you.

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  8. lmaoooo def 5 ways to stay single hehehe

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  9. hahahhah that will send anyman running away from you.

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  10. desperate times calls for desperate measures...as in the will so pick race.

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  11. Do you know desperado moves! Killing Love 101.

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  12. Lool. Thank you for the tips. I've taken notes on how to remain single for life.
    I wonder if people do all this though, like in real life not movies... :-/

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  13. I do this and I might as well kiss my man goodbye..
    Bad geh!
    www.chachacorner.com

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  14. This post is rated 18 and below. Not for adults oooo....this is a poster of what not to try at home.

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  15. I tagged this post in one of mine! You can find it here http://oreolu.blogspot.com/2012/12/how-to-get-man-of-your-dreams.html?m=0

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  16. lol..too funny. I just see it as.. "what if the roles were reversed..but then.. there are some crazy pple.. lol

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