I'm not a feminist, but........................

I've been wanting to blog but can't seem to settle on what to talk about. School is less than 2 months away. Yikes! I really haven't done much studying since January. I couldn't. But i'm going to at least go over block one of Anatomy, i think it will ease the transition back into the MADNESS!!!

Result of the poll: 40% of voters picked "Whatever works for you" and 37% picked "It would be nice". So that means, i will do the best i can to reply comments. Thanks to everyone who voted.

I've been wanting to write on feminism for a long time. I still haven't gotten my thoughts together. I think one of the best decisions i have made in my life was to major in Psychology. Hands down! Psychology of women was an awesome, awesome class to take. You would think there would be a lot more males interested in the class but apparently not. Anyway, that class opened my eyes to what feminism really is.

That's why the people, especially females, who say "blah blah blah blah........ but not like i'm a feminist or anything like that o" or "I'm not a feminist but.......blah blah blah" or anything along those lines irritates the hell out of me. I personally think it is the height of ignorance to say that. I think if you are a woman, and you can wear pants and vote and get a divorce, become a doctor or whatever profession you chose, or work outside your home, or drive a car, to mention a few and you believe in equal rights and opportunities for both sexes, then you are a damn FEMINIST. No, you shouldn't champion the cause or carry it on ur head, if you don't want to. That's not the point. I don't necessarily go up and down the street shouting that i am a feminist. It's not even one of the primary identifiers of who i am, but you will never hear me utter those words that i'm not a feminist and it's not a question that i would hesitate to answer. I am a feminist, no doubt about it. I appreciate the work of the women who fought so that i have the opportunities i currently have.

Feminism is not about being a man hating female, or being the boss in the relationship or whatever negative connotation is currently associated with that word. I just don't get why an educated female in this day and age would preface or end a statement with " not like i'm a feminist or anything like that". Like i said, that is very ignorant and there's no excuse for that in this google age. Google it and stop sounding ignorant. I beg you. Na beg i dey beg. I feel like writing a scholarly article on this issue but i will restrain myself.

ETA: Just so the point of this post is not lost. I'm not saying everyone should self-identify as a feminist. Far from it, do u! What i'm saying is why would a female talk about feminism like it's a bad thing and not want to be associated with it? I think something is wrong with that picture. Society has done a pretty good job of associating a negative connotation to that word that even women (who primarily benefit from the feminist movement) buy into it. I think it's sad.

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Blog etiquette

I have a poll up on the upper right hand corner of my blog. I've been blogging for over 3 years now and i've never been big on responding to comments left on my blog or even leaving comments on other blogs. There are a ton of blogs i read regularly but hardly, if ever comment on. Most of the time i'm lazy, sometimes, i have nothing to say.  I haven't really paid too much attention to stuff like that.


Miss.fab's most recent post got me thinking and i spoke to another blogger friend. I guess there is an unspoken blog etiquette that i have been blind to. So please, take a sec to participate in my poll and leave a comment, telling me what you think these rules are or should be. Should there be rules, or should we just free style. I've been free styling to be honest, but i don't want anyone to feel slightly or ignored or whatever especially if you are a faithful reader or commenter on my blog. I care, that's why i'm asking.

To those who listened to Vera's show today, i was told by my personal person, after listening that i was too aggressive. My apologies to those who personally got offended. I hope no one did. I tend to get that way when i am passionate about something. The good thing is pple found the show interesting and a few pple said they didn't think it was going to be.

Pls vote on my poll. Thanks guys.

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GOLDIE FT ELDEE THA DON "YOU KNOW IT"

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Things that make you go WOW!

So one of my closest friend's older brother's wife passed away in February during child birth (may her soul rest in peace). That was her third child, the baby made it but she didn't. C-section complication, i think her intestines were punctured or something. If u ask me, that whole debacle totally speaks to the incompetence of the doctors who performed that surgery. She died a couple days after giving birth, sad, unnecessary death.

Anyway, fast forward to today, less than 4 months after her death, i asked my friend about how her older brother was coping and she tells me he has moved on o! (her words) and i asked, moved on to where, what do u mean? I refused to believe she meant what i thought she meant. Yep, he has a new lady, less than 4 months after his wife's passing. Now, i'm saying 4 months, because i'm counting from today, only God know's how long this has been going on. I told her i was shocked, and she said the whole family is shocked too. I went on to wonder aloud if her brother wasn't already seeing this chic before his wife died. She pretty much said she thot the same too. Before i continue on rationally, let me say this, thunder fire any man that will do that to me. If in the process of birthing your offspring, after swelling like a beached whale for the last nine months and i die, and you don't give me the respect that i deserve and mourn me properly, i will come back and haunt you for the rest of your life. Best believe that.

With that being said, just imagine in our Nigerian society, a woman's husband dies and she's with someone else in less than a year, imagine what would happen. I can't even imagine such a scenario, yet our men continue to do it. It's a man's world abi? Look at Stella Damascus who remarried 4 years after her husband passed away, yet pple still rained abuses on her like she was a common prostitute. Is 4 years not enough to mourn? This is not the first time i have heard something like this. There was this lady that was in her 40's, she had 4 daughters, but being the typical bone headed Nigerian man her husband was, he wanted a boy or else he would marry another wife. Everyone advised her against this pregnancy cos she was getting older but NOOOOO......... she wanted to please her husband so he won't marry another wife. She got pregnant, gave birth to the coveted male son, and died while giving birth. Within 3 months, that new wife she didn't want her husband to acquire, he went ahead and acquired her, while she was rotting in the grave. Was it worth it in the end? Now she left all her kids motherless while in the quest to please her useless husband.

Some men tire me sha! Where's the love? Some pple even mourn broken relationships for more than 3 months not to talk of the death of the mother of your children. Like i said to my friend today, God will help us. I need to pray so i don't end up with someone else's husband aka the wrong man. I will never settle and marry because it's my time (whatever that means) or i'm getting old (i've been old since the day i was born) or i want children (last last, that's what sperm donors are for). When i find the person that was created for me, i don't care how long it takes me, only then will i consider getting married cos evidently there's are a lot of inhuman humans walking the face of this earth. So that lady on SSD's most recent TTTEC needs to think long and hard before she lets her husband get her pregnant again after the doctors have already told her it would be too risky. He doesn't need to have a vasectomy if he doesn't want to, there are other ways to prevent pregnancy besides tube tying. Think long and hard!

Now that my rant is over, remember to listen in as i co-host with Vera tomorrow 10AM EST (3PM naija time). Topic is about switching last names after marriage. All of una wey go hyphenate una husband first name and last name together, una get some explaining to do. Have a good weekend guys.

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