Friday, June 18, 2010

Things that make you go WOW!

So one of my closest friend's older brother's wife passed away in February during child birth (may her soul rest in peace). That was her third child, the baby made it but she didn't. C-section complication, i think her intestines were punctured or something. If u ask me, that whole debacle totally speaks to the incompetence of the doctors who performed that surgery. She died a couple days after giving birth, sad, unnecessary death.

Anyway, fast forward to today, less than 4 months after her death, i asked my friend about how her older brother was coping and she tells me he has moved on o! (her words) and i asked, moved on to where, what do u mean? I refused to believe she meant what i thought she meant. Yep, he has a new lady, less than 4 months after his wife's passing. Now, i'm saying 4 months, because i'm counting from today, only God know's how long this has been going on. I told her i was shocked, and she said the whole family is shocked too. I went on to wonder aloud if her brother wasn't already seeing this chic before his wife died. She pretty much said she thot the same too. Before i continue on rationally, let me say this, thunder fire any man that will do that to me. If in the process of birthing your offspring, after swelling like a beached whale for the last nine months and i die, and you don't give me the respect that i deserve and mourn me properly, i will come back and haunt you for the rest of your life. Best believe that.

With that being said, just imagine in our Nigerian society, a woman's husband dies and she's with someone else in less than a year, imagine what would happen. I can't even imagine such a scenario, yet our men continue to do it. It's a man's world abi? Look at Stella Damascus who remarried 4 years after her husband passed away, yet pple still rained abuses on her like she was a common prostitute. Is 4 years not enough to mourn? This is not the first time i have heard something like this. There was this lady that was in her 40's, she had 4 daughters, but being the typical bone headed Nigerian man her husband was, he wanted a boy or else he would marry another wife. Everyone advised her against this pregnancy cos she was getting older but NOOOOO......... she wanted to please her husband so he won't marry another wife. She got pregnant, gave birth to the coveted male son, and died while giving birth. Within 3 months, that new wife she didn't want her husband to acquire, he went ahead and acquired her, while she was rotting in the grave. Was it worth it in the end? Now she left all her kids motherless while in the quest to please her useless husband.

Some men tire me sha! Where's the love? Some pple even mourn broken relationships for more than 3 months not to talk of the death of the mother of your children. Like i said to my friend today, God will help us. I need to pray so i don't end up with someone else's husband aka the wrong man. I will never settle and marry because it's my time (whatever that means) or i'm getting old (i've been old since the day i was born) or i want children (last last, that's what sperm donors are for). When i find the person that was created for me, i don't care how long it takes me, only then will i consider getting married cos evidently there's are a lot of inhuman humans walking the face of this earth. So that lady on SSD's most recent TTTEC needs to think long and hard before she lets her husband get her pregnant again after the doctors have already told her it would be too risky. He doesn't need to have a vasectomy if he doesn't want to, there are other ways to prevent pregnancy besides tube tying. Think long and hard!

Now that my rant is over, remember to listen in as i co-host with Vera tomorrow 10AM EST (3PM naija time). Topic is about switching last names after marriage. All of una wey go hyphenate una husband first name and last name together, una get some explaining to do. Have a good weekend guys.


  1. Is it a radio show that you are hosting or a blog article? I would like to listen in on this's been well debated.

    My expression for the man who married after four (known) months, is blank. Like this:



  2. First!

    I agree with you wholeheartedly and I even just went over to SSD's blog to read about the "Marital Distrust" woman.

    Men are useless (a lot of the time) and it is so hard to find a useful one. Definitely everybody needs to be careful.

  3. DAMMIT Naked beat me. I am so annoyed.

  4. oh and I was going to add, I shall be listening in tomorrow to see what happens! Hopefully I can even call in.

  5. Love love this post and totally agree with you. Will be listening to vera show tomorow.

  6. Oh wow! That is just so sad! Like so sad! I asked my mum about marriage the other day and how she was able to stay loving ONE person. she says as long as he is yours, the ONE created for you, you will always make it..Wise words!

  7. Men seem to have more leeway but I do not like to conclude on personal matters.

    ! look forward to the show tomorrow.

  8. @NakedSha, it's Vera's blog talk radio show. There's a link in the post.

    @EDJ: I agree, we can't be careful enough.

    @Andrea: How are u. Long time. How's the little peanut coming along?

    @Ms.O: Your mom is right. Unfortunately, not everyone is a lucky as that. I will be one of the lucky ones :) Amen!

    @Myne: I understand about not wanting to conclude, but in this case, i don't see how else we can slice this to make it more palatable.

  9. cousin's wife died 7 years ago in a car accident a couple of months after giving birth.he raised the boy by himself for those 7 years and is finally getting married in was really hard on him cos i vacationed in his house last summer but he had like a whole schedule marked out with his was awesome.

  10. This life sha...mehn i just tire after i read sad...May her soul Rest in peace and may the good lord continue to uphold the children she left behind.

    Men sha.....!!!!

    Looking forward to vera's show tomorrow.!!!

  11. Demmit!

    Lol @ coming back to haunt dude. Four months sha. That aint right. It's gon be very hard to convince me that the new woman hadn't been in the picture before. SMH. Man's world my heiney.

    Meanwhile, i feel you on the TTTEC matter. Somebody say birthcontrol?

  12. Umm I don't get, how long do u think is the appropraite time for one to mourn the death of a lost one?
    Who sets the time period? It could be 10 mins or 10 hours or 10 months or 10 years..
    If the dude was cheating, then that was wrong of him..
    But to say that u expect somebody to MOURN U PROPERLY??
    Isn't that a relative term?
    What is proper to u might not be proper to somebody else.

  13. @Azazel: I'm sure you get. You won't tell me anyone in their right mind would think 10 mins is enough to mourn someone, so i don't know why you even put that as an option.

    And yes, i expect anyone i marry to mourn me properly. It's all about respect. Let's be real here and not argue for the sake of arguing.

    Come on, in some parts of Nigeria, women have to shave their head, be with the dead body for 7 days, and wear black for a freaking year.

    This woman died giving birth to his child and u tell me 3-4months is appropriate to mourn her? Give me a break, Azazel.

  14. Na wa o! That's just so scary

  15. can u imagine
    ahn ahn rubish rubbish


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