Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Weird day

I'm having a very weird day today. I'm stressing about things i should stress about and things i shouldn't stress about. I have an irritation in my stomach that gives me ulcer symptoms (technically, my stomach lining is inflamed ). I took Nexium for about 6 months and i finally was able to stop taking it in Janaury, but since i started stressing yesterday i've been having terrible pains. I'm trying to relax but i'm all strung up and just can't seem to relax.

I'm very happy with myself that i haven't fallen into the throes of depression lately. I'm pretty impressed with some of the coping skills i developed. Who says therapy doesn't work, hasn't met my therapist. Anyway, my mood has been funky lately, so for some reason i carried around the rock my therapist gave me today. I can't even remember exactly what she said the rock represented, but it was really calming and it helped me get through today without falling apart.

To make matters worse, my father told me i was gaining weight which translated to mean i was fat (in my head). He was like, what's going on? Look at ur face, u are gaining weight and i was like is it becos of the cookies i took ( i have "stolen" 3 packs of grandma's chocolate chip cookies he had)? My father had not even noticed i took the cookies, so i essentially reported myself. He was like "No, look at ur face". Apparently, i'm one of those people who gain weight on their faces. My heart just sank cos for my father to say something about my weight, then i think it's bad. I have been in denial. A month ago when i got on the scale and it read 150lbs, i almost had a heartache and i have refused to weigh myself ever since. I almost have an anxiety attack just looking at a scale. I don't want to get on the weight loss bandwagon, but maybe when people start asking if it's a boy or a girl it would sink in.

I read the most disgusting story today. A woman who had a baby with her father. He left when she was one, and she didn't see him again for 30 years. When they reunited, they started a sexual relationship. I usually don't judge people, but i think this is the most perverted story i've ever read. You can read it here.

13 comments:

  1. Hmmn...u don't wanna get on the weight loss tip huh?

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  2. I read that story, it was SICK. There are a lot of twiste people out there. I mean, if you want to sleep with whoever, fine, but dont bring a child into it!!!!

    P.s. dont even get me started on the weight thing, my dad made a similar statement to me last night, when he asked if i could still fit into a size 14. IT was a very 'yeah bite me' moment.

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  3. Babes. Thank God I finally found you. Tried a coupla times and failed. Well whatever. You are back. How na?

    150lbs and you are complaining? Please. And who were you talking to below that comes to secretly read your posts? lol. They are crazy about you, no matter what they say.
    Let me go and read the Father/daughter story. *Heart pounding*

    Easy babes. Later.

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  4. Real shame about the incestous father and daughter. i feel sorry for their daughter. What horrible legacy to give a child? The child should be taken away from them and adopted. I don't think the sex ban will work, do you? Some people are just sick, period.

    Don't worry about your weight, you're fine. Just keep physically active. (I don't mean that kind of active o) :) Well, maybe that too.

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  5. I'm glad you've been doing so well and you're proof that therapy works. Here's hoping the stomach troubles go away soon.

    It's hard not to take the comments about weight personally, especially when they come from family. I don't care how tall you are, 150lbs can't be a bad weight to be; I don't care what anyone says.

    (I'm in the boat of having a whole crapload to lose in order to be considered 'normal' weight so I know of what I speak.)

    GNG

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  6. weight? i know its something to worry about when my brother comments...
    but hey as long as you feel good and healthy then rock on(yeah i know easy to say) i've been promising 15mins on the trendmill and a couple of situps every morning, but then i feel good with myself so why bother? thats my excuse to catch on the extra sleep b4 its time for work...

    how come i didnt hear the story of the father/ daughter? i'm so grossed out.

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  7. geez, this comment thingy almost gave me small wahala, but i no gree..pls hun, dont be depresses over stuff like that..150lbs is not bad. take it easy ok!

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  8. I do gain weight in my face too...my childhood friends call me sekepu meaning fat cheeks. But when I lose weight on my face pple ask me if am sick so I guess God knows what he's doing. And trust me, 150lbs is good...take consolation in the fact that someone weight 10lbs more than you...ME!

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  9. @charizard: Do u know how mentally and emotionally plus physically stressful it is to be on a "diet"?

    @Onydchic: There really are some sick pple out there

    @naija chickito: Didn't know u were looking for me. How sweet. I'm fine, thanks for asking. 150lbs is a lot to me considering i was 115lbs about 4 yrs ago.

    @naijalines: I'm trying to keep physically active and pls don't spoil me by putting those thots into my head abeg. Hmm...

    @good naija: I know 150lbs is not a bad weight to be, but it's just that i have been gaining weight steadily. I have gone from 115 to 150bls in 4 yrs. That is a problem. I never even born pickin.

    @fantasy queen: If u know how my brother teases me, u would be sorry for me. I never take him too seriously anyway, but hearing it from my father scares me.

    @soupasexy: I'm trying to stay positive girl. Thanks.

    @ollay: I actually burst out laughing when i read ur comment cos that was the last thing i expected to read. Ok, i will be consoled a little.

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  10. Oh no...that's a sad story, more so than even "perverted." Wow, I wonder what kind of relationship the child (grandchild?) would have of his father.

    As for the scales...try not to get anxious. Maybe u can start gyming? Or check ur diet? Better now than when they start asking u if it's a boy or girl...lol. Don't worry no one will do that!

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  11. waaaaat
    i wish i could go back to 150

    hope u feel betta


    whatnahell@that incest story
    smh

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  12. Beautiful Blog.
    Beautiful Post.

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  13. @aloofar lol

    that story is a mess, they should be killed, wtf

    the worst thing is when ure family member says it, u know its true.. but who cares, dont beat yourself up about it. just eat healthier,lol

    and i hope ure feeling better now

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