Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Tales out of school

I miss being in secondary school. From being a boarder in JSS to switching schools and becoming a day student in SSS. I went from soak and travel, garri cake, stealing water from the tank at night, washing and drying clothes without rinsing, rub and shine, shot put (lol), black field, gossip stone, apian way, trade by batter, sneaking into dorm during school hours, pounding shit, pretending to be sick, saturday morning jogs, old soldier, fetching water from the well, playing pranks, tapping aka fapping, hunger strike, SAP, roasting termites, making tapoica (bobozi), cooking concortions, senior wars, Lady Koi Koi to after school lessons, crushes, gossiping, puppy love, rumor mongering etc etc. It was both the best and worst time of my life.

The stories I could tell you. I got myself in some deep shit a couple of times. Chai! I had a very interesting life sha growing up. My glasses saved me from getting slapped quite a number of times but not all the time. I was a mess. I've always had a big mouth, and have never been afraid to use it. I fought a guy on the street one time (and only time). This idiot who was actually a family friend walked up to me from behind when i was in SS2 and slapped me because I refused to turn around and talk to him. We had been quarreling through our friends. Those "tell her that vs tell him that", kind of quarrels. He was very surprised when I pounced on him. I was a smallie back in the day. That was the day I knew my teeth were made for something else besides eating. My poor mother, she had no clue what I was up to half the time. All that craziness lasted for a very short time though. She started working from home and we moved from the neighborhood I grew up in, plus I graduated from secondary school. That's where the madness ended. I wouldn't ever want to be a teenager again. I didn't exactly enjoy it and I know for sure, my mother didn't enjoy my teenage years. Somebody say rebellious or maybe i was just a typical teenager born to an overly strict mother. I was always an A student though, so my craziness had it limits.

 I've finally figured out what I want to do for a give away. Not exactly sure when it's going to be but instead of giving one thing, I want to do a gift box and you will only know what is inside the box after I pick a winner cos I want it to be a surprise. Whatever I pick is going to be geared towards females cos my commenters are mostly female. If a guy wins, he can always pass it on to his girl or sister. So it's a win win for all involved.

These people want me to be in school by 7.45am tomorrow. I can't even complain cos you are supposed to be in the hospital at 5am during some rotations. I'm just going to suck it up and get with the program.

Share your sec school stories. What do you miss most? I never thought i would miss it for a second but i did. I think i mostly missed not seeing my friends everyday (but it took me about 2 months to get there) Those crazy girls. I was sick of girls for a long time and most of my close friends were guys after secondary school but i got over it. Nothing like having female friends, guys are alright, but sometimes only a girl can get it. 

I just had to share this. I just remember in JSS 2 when there was a rumor that there was this spirit in the dorms. Girls refused to go outside the dorms at night to pee. One of my classmates brought a potty from home to be using at night. Thinking about it just cracked me up. I'm going to text her tomorrow to remind her. Mehn those days were crazy.


  1. You just took me back eon years ago, stinger!
    I was a boarder JS1 to SS3 so i went from the sour to the sweet to the very sweet.
    JS1 was a nightmare! The seniors in SS2 then were bloodthirsty vampires. Always looking for an opportunity to 'show us pepper'
    I had a school mother then who was school mother to both me and my cousin. My school mother was a total and complete REBEL. She broke all of the school rules and always dragged us along with her. And when we were caught, my cousin will be spared (cos she was asthmatic and always had an attack whenever she is scared or nervous so seniors and school authorities always gave her a break). They will deal with my school mother and i. She never cried for cane but me??? I always wailed for hours. She will tongue lash me for being such a sissy and the next day, we were back to breaking the rules again. She (my school mother) left our school in her SS1 and funny enuf, i missed her when she left.
    I miss secondary school a lot, even with all the pain, stress and craziness. Looking back now, it was so much fun!

  2. Like Amaka I was also a boarder from Js1 to SS 3 and I had the same transition from sour to sweet. I absolutely hated boarding school when I was a junior girl. One memory of my junior days that stands out to me was when I got in the middle of a brawl between junior girls and senior girls that happened a day before closing day. The brawl was instigated by the principal. She asked all students to go around and clean the school. As junior girls we obliged, but senior girls on the other hand felt too big to clean the school. So at lunch time, our principal decided that only junior girls would be allowed to eat lunch that day since we were the ones who obeyed her instructions, and to make it even more painful for senior girls, we were having rice,plantain, and fish stew --everyone's favorite meal back then. That day I ate till my stomach almost bust. The senior girls were fuming as they watched us devour their food. It was awesome.

    But then, the senior girls revengef that night. They went to the dinning hall early and ensured that no junior girl set foot inside. Some how, some how, I got inside and long story short, I found myself in a pot of hot watery porridge beans. My skin peeled, and I was rushed to the hospital along with 5 other junior girls who were also thrown into pots of beans and hot oil. As you can imagine, those who were thrown in hot oil experienced more severe burns and skin peeling. When I got home the next day, which was vacation day, my parents were really angry at me. They couldn't believe that I couldn't pass up on porridge beans. The next term, I think they doubled my provisions or pocket money.

    By the way, I still have the scars from that day.

  3. Thinking of secondary school gives me goose bumps. I was a boarder from JSS1 to SSS3 in faraway Plateau state when I lived in Lagos. I remember spending half of my pocket money at the bus park and thinking of how to survive the term.
    we had our own share of madam koi koi but our was called John Black because rumor had it that a dark skinned male cook was sneaking into hostels and harassing girls. There was a day we said we will keep vigil waiting for him and we all fell asleep.
    The aspect I hated of school was saturday morning which saw us jogging and doing clean up till you could see your face in the cracked cement floor. I remember I would fake sickness of hid under bed so as not to go jogging.
    If you have gone to an FGGC... me thinks you can survive much

  4. Hmmm, not sure what I can bring into the conversation since I'm a guy. Pretty sure you didn't go to my school, but I understand all the slangs except one (and it's not shot put).

  5. Some serious experience you had.

  6. Oh crap! Sting, you're taking me waaay back! I was a boarder too from js1 to ss3 & it was fun! I def miss it all. My life could pass for a movie o. Had my highs & lows but I wouldn't change a thing for the world. Mostly highs though. Almost got suspended for dancing at a time. My mother would have killed me. I remember social/variety night, starvation week, blokes of the block, "shift-make-i-sleep', creepy rats that eat feet, showing seniors (a senior told me to get her drinking water one time & I got it from d sink area :D) Oh goodness. Pounding shit hahaha. Thankfully, I was usually a laundry or bathroom worker; never toilet so I never had to pound shit. I should do a full post on this.

    @Prism, OMG!! That was serious o bt hilarious too. Your story sounds too familiar. Did you by any chance go to Feggo, Owinni hills?

    Bottom line, if you went to a Feggo, you can survive anything!

  7. Good one Sting. My best times growing up was secondary school!
    My favourite memory was the night 3 of my girlfriends and i dressed up in floating white bedsheets/housecoats and stood in front of the male dorm (the dorms were quite close in distance ). It was a clear night and beginning of term and we could hear the guys in 'Katanga' gossipping. Cant think of where the matron was that we were able to leave our rooms. We walked to the 'dorm junction' made these deep owl sounds and flapped our hands up and down. The next day, the news was out that the school was besieged by ghosts - coincidentally a fatal accident had happened on the highway outside the school - so students thought it was the spirit of the dead people. We had a good laugh and let in some of the other girls into the gist.
    Sigh. Secondary school - Eboh, goodness pounding shit. I was in FGC Enugu for a term. I dont think i've seen bathrooms and toilets worse than what i beheld there.
    School families - School mom's boyfriend is automatically your school dad, and his school sons become your step bros - strange bedfellows i tell you!

  8. I miss those nightly devotions that are so intense that you wouldnt want them to end.
    I will definitely not miss fighting with the boys over the last few trickles of water from the tap on laundry day.

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  10. Boarding school, I so miss that experience. Though I was one of the very quite few, my friends were the rule breakers plus I dated one of the most notorious boys in school back then. I hated labour.I just had to dodge it and always ended up serving punishments. Twas fun, since i wasnt always the only one serving punishments. The dining rush, playing hard to get when asked out, so many memories..... =====>www.ysincerely.blogspot.com


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