Friday, September 9, 2011

Knock Knock and Bedmatics 101(?)

It feels weird not blogging regularly. There's just no time. Just wanted the 5 or 10 or 15 or 500 of you who care to know that i'm still alive :) and enjoying my own little slice of hell everyday. I saw the questions and the "tells". Very funny assumptions. I will answer the questions whenever i get a breather. Why can't i be like other people and just abandon my blog? It would be SO easy to do right now.

P.S. You guys better be missing me. It's by force o.

Question: (Mostly because i want to keep you guys occupied in my absence).
Is it true that most Nigerian women are passive in bed? My friend said something the other day that made me laugh. He said "they just lay there like dead bodies". That cracked me the hell up. Coincidentally, the next day, i received my Glamour for the month and they talked about the same thing.
This is too funny. 
So i guess it's not Nigerian women per se but "some women" Why do you think "some women" thing it's okay to just lay there and provide a warm hoo ha. I read somewhere recently about a guy whose wife never wanted to have sex and when he would pester her enough she would say "oya come and enter". lol. Of course he didn't like that because she wouldn't "participate". Are any of you guilty of the "laying there like a dead body syndrome" lol....I don't expect anyone to answer that and confess to their iniquities, at least not on my blog. Seriously though, is there a bedmatics 101 course out there, or na to just resort to watching blue film aka porno. lol. I'm seriously cracking myself up. This is what micro has reduced me to. I don't expect a lot of responses to my question because you know how we Nigerians are. We are all "vargins" until after we have our first child :) All you guys who want to marry vargins, how do you expect to eat your cake and have it? Oya come and confess, where did you acquire your skills from? Do you even have skills sef? If you are shy, you can whisper it in my ear..... (:

Ciao people. I have my first exam on Monday. Wish me luck.

Miss me o! I mean it!!!!

*The million dollar question is if i really expect people to answer my questions.
**How i managed to come up with a proper post, i don't know. This was supposed to be a short paragraph post. See the first P.S? That's where it was supposed to end. I'm trying to keep you guys entertained in my absence. Now say thank you.

You are welcome.


  1. For someone who is always playing catch up i don't mind breaks from my blog friends :)
    Exams already? you don't say! wish you success!

    Your question:
    We lie there and do nothing cause we have been told all our lives to flee from evil so we don't read magazines about sex, we don't jist about it with our friends etc etc. then marriage comes and the mind works the way it has been psyched to.
    I must also add that if the man is doing his job right, the woman will feel good enough to want to reciprocate a.k.a not lie down and play dead.

    However, it all starts from the mind. She must be willing to enjoy the experience to truly enjoy it not endure it.

  2. We are missing you already or should I say I am. And about the question, I never had sex cos my religion doesn't agree with that. And lastly, good luck with your exams.

  3. Good luck on your exam.... on ur question- hummm, I don't know fa. Maybe the guys should not complain, they should train the women. hahha.

  4. Good question. I wonder equally how many men don't take the time for foreplay to get their women more into the mood and ready for sex. If the woman was enjoying it, she wouldn't be able to help herself, her body would move automatically. So I think there's some responsibility on both sides to make sex good for both people.

  5. lol @ oya come and enter! My roomate thinks this way and i think to myself...uh?

    she says she doesnt know wat the excitement is all abt and she doesnt feel all the things other girls say they feel during i dunno abt that one o!

    Good luck on ur exams oh!

  6. Goodluck with your exams dear,hope you ace it. I kinda agree with Ginger, it starts in the mind and how one views sex.

  7. i'll try to miss you, now that you have asked to be missed.
    if i fell into the category of "Nigerian women" , maybe i'll have an answer to your question.. as i really wan to answer. lol
    Enjoy the exam, make sure you pass.

  8. First, when i saw the title, i said what is Sting up to now? :P

    Second, as i read, i laughed, shook my head and said, naughty gal!

    third, when i saw 10 comments, i was happy people had called off her bluff, about the NIGERIANESS in us that don't make people talk about SEX

    Fourth, as i read the comments, i was DISAPPOINTED, that you had been proved right!only few attempted your question.

    Fifth, i decided to play the devil's here is my reply to your question....

    I was not a virgin when i married.

    The STRESS OF RUNNING THE HOME, STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEET usually make SOME women tired, and just want to sleep!

    Moreover, the BRAIN is the sexiest organ in the body...when a woman is happy or well treated by her man, she would be receptive.. but when treated like 'shit' or abused, you expect her to be hot for the man? dem neva jam!

    SOME women are circumcised! so needs lot of wooing & seducing which SOME men don't have the patience to!

    SOME men ask for it at the inappropriate time! if a woman's mind is already occupied with something to do and the man comes asking for sex...there is no way she would give her best.


    Have a lovely weekend, and good luck with your reading.

  9. lol interesting topic - no idea to be honest but I suspect that is the case - esp your 'hardcore' 9ja girls with little or no exposure. And exposure does not = sleeping around like a 'stitute.
    And yes, sometimes the man is too blame - asking for sex at the wrong time, 'demanding it', not being reciprocal, thinking sex is all about their personal fulfillment, not enough foreplay, etc etc i cld go on and on and on. why won't the woman be a log in bed?

    Tragic really in my opinion.

    Sting you didnt answer o - so are you like a freaking log in bed??
    Your next post should be something about 'how NOT to be a log in bed' lol

  10. lolsss I can see Ibhade has taken my advice to raise her price for comments. But for this one, e be like say I go give am 7 gbosa in addition. correct person jare.

  11. @ginger, hahahahhaaa, tnx :P

  12. I missss you! Me i am a vargin o! I'm a "scent"!!!
    but i'll definitely not lie there like a dead body when i get a husband *whips hair*

  13. ha, madam sting do you really want the answers to all this your questions? lol, I think that madam nitty has answered all ur questions hopefully that will help, but knowing you, I doubt that. lol, bring your ears closer let me whisper my answers.

  14. To buttress Ibhade's point, a lot of #Team-wait-till-u're-married girls arent properly informed!Ignorance! Ignorance! Ignorance!

    As much as I support abstenance it doesnt stop you from acquiring information... knowledge is key not so?

    But then again, how many books/magazines write about the true state of this things? Dont they all just paint rosy pictures like hollywood movies?

    In that case, i'll say see a marriage/sex counsellor b4 u get married and talk to ur partner. Communicate and be creative too, no one is born a sexpert!

    Lastly, watch Friends with Benefits, dont practive it though LMAO.... *skates off*

  15. *enters again*

    Good luck with the exams. You mentioned Micro, are you an Economics major???

  16. hehehehe...I wouldn't know. I am yet to have my first born! But not the Naija girls of nowadays sha. Story has it that most of them have been keeping calabar friends...go figure! Goodluck with the semester

  17. ROTFL @ "We are all "vargins" until after we have our first child :)" loooool
    Goodluck in ur exam

  18. I shouldn't know, I haven't had my first child...

    But, I imagine that it's basically because a man's arousal works differently from a woman's. Show the guy your v-jayjay and he's up, but the girl needs some petting and sweet/dirty talking and all that 'good stuff' to meet up.

    Now, how many men:
    1. Know of those differences?
    2. Are patient enough to work the girl up to the stage they're at.

    So, there you have it. I'm giving the log-of-wood women the benefit of doubt here, they prolly have potential. It's not just being explored.

    @ Teeboy - your religion doesn't allow sex at all, or it doesn't allow sex before marriage?

    (I haven't stopped being celibate; my mother and I talk a lot - a little too much).

  19. Like Ibhade, I saw 21 comments and I was smiling, pschewww...


    Hope the exams went well?

    About bedmatics, there are sex ed videos out there and yes, plus porn. And if you're too shy for porn, what of erotica and hot romance novels? Yes there is work from both men and women, but hey, I always believe in focusing on things you can do stuff about. Sure, talk to your hubby who just wants to 'enter', but also, to put you in the mood before the do, you can read/watch a romantic book/movie and then initiate the action.

  20. Oh yes, I miss you. Don't mind that I'm

  21. not as if d men move on their own accord....its just dat d have achieve d 'XYZ' moment!

    ...personally i think moving as a only when d activity is used as some form of exercise........ cos lying as a log or moving, d 'XYZ' moment is achievable.
    So y stress?

  22. Ok, I've had my firstborn so let me talk.

    The thing is, women just lay there (and this is the case in relationships and the early stages of marriage) because doing otherwise is viewed with suspicion. Something in our culture - the sex-before-marriage taboo perhaps - causes any woman who moans with pleasure to be equal to a prostitute. Hard questions will be asked: How many men have you had? What did you do with them? The assumption is that your body's response cannot just be instinctive, it has to be 'learned' (stupid men).

    So men can complain from now till kingdom come. As long as there is a double standard with regards to sex and sexuality, women will always lay like planks.

    My advice to you menfolk is this. Yes, sex starts in the mind, but the mind in question is YOURS. If you remove the log in your own eye then she'll take care of the speck in hers. If you want to see your planky lady turn to warm, mushy pulp before your very eyes, just say two words: 'USE ME'.

    And watch her go. Remeber, no judgement. If something is too kinky for you, just say you're not ready to do that and move on. If you gasp in horror when she reaches for your bum for instance, don't blame her if you get the plank back.

  23. Blessings......
    hmmmmm, I guess your friend has been with ALL nigerian women?

    He said "they just lay there like dead bodies".

    Question, if they just lay there like dead bodies does that make him a Necrophiliac?

    Sorry couldn't resist going there, it was just to easy and brother left himself wide open for that one..hehe.

    Have a great day

    I've been twitterliciously twitterfied by my eldest daughter,she's a bit bossy, follow me?...


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