Saturday, August 21, 2010



I want to take little parts of myself that i am dissatisfied with and work on them. Let's start with the cussing. I remember a time when not a single swear word was part of my vocabulary, neither spoken nor thoughts. Now, i'm the queen of cussing. Some things don't even sound right to me if they don't have a swear word attached to them. I remember when i first got here (america) and my older sister would cuss and say "that shit blah blah blah" it sounded so cool..... i wanted to be able to talk like that.

Then came the Jamaican dude i dated for 6 months. Jamaican in origin, African American in orientation, this dude could not have a normal everyday conversation without cussing. "Shit" and " Fucking" were like "a" and "the". That's how slowly but surely, he rubbed off on me and i became this person who can't go a day without cussing. I no longer think it's cool or cute, worst of all, i have noticed that it fuels my anger. Sometimes, cussing can be like a stress reliever, like when u stub ur toe or something and u let out an expletive, it can help you calm down. Research has been done on it (i can't remember where i read it anymore). I just don't think it's lady like at this point in my life. I really want to ditch the habit.

After the events of the last couple of weeks and the aftermath, i think i seriously need to check myself before i wreck myself. Seriously. On the anger front, i have decided that since i don't know how to deal with anger, i am quitting it cold turkey. Much, much easier said than done, but whenever i get angry, i have decided to just not deal with the emotion at least not at that time. I will just walk away from it and come back much later when i would surely have calmed down.

Ms. Nitty Gritty was right about Nigerian movies being a great tool for dealing with anger. I laughed for the first time in a week yesterday when i was watching one. It was just so stupid, i had to laugh.

I'm taking deep breaths.
One day at a time
One day at a time.

P.S. Life doesn't always give second chances, so let's try to do it right the first time ....Sting
P.P.S Why do i always have to learn the hard way?
P.P.P.S. I am such a stubborn goat. Urgh!


  1. I'm so sorry you feel like this about a habit but it's great too because it's a probloem half solved. I wish you the best.

    As for anger,let your heart smile through whatever it is and like you said, come back when you're more likely to take rational action(s)..

    P.S: Nigerian movies ARE therapy...especially ones with Mr. Ibu, Osuofia and Patiene Oz!

    God bless and again, all the best!

  2. Keep watching Nigerian movies, they are so funny.

    I cant say anything about the cussing since I'm guilty as charged

  3. lol...i only cuss in private or with trusted friends who know that I'm not a vile person. -not saying you're vile or anything :)
    i find saying F**K and S**T so liberating especially when the situation warrants it. otherwise, just saying f**k in a regular sentence is just silly!

  4. am glad you are getting over it....its a gradual process.... thanks for the mention..yeah! i had had cause to use such words when provoked...& truly unladylike!..hehehheee..take care huh?

  5. Cussing never helps. There are other words that will do just as well. Replace the ones you don't like with such like oh no, sorry, please, thanks, lol...

    All the best with your anger. Jesus took away mine, and I'm serious. That was one of the first burdens I cast upon his cross of salvation and God replaced it with His love. You could try anger management classes too.

    Have a great week ahead.

  6. i curse like a sailor too..especially when i'm driving lol .

    but as far as anger issues..what helps is every situation i always try to think in a futuristic way ..and think of the consequences.

    Silence speaks volumes..or even saying few words will get your point across a lot more than anger!

    one step at a time tho'll surely get there :)

  7. nice one all the best with the cussing def needs to stop..and regards the anger biting ur tongue shud help


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