Friday, February 11, 2011

Under-G relationships

At the rate i'm going, i will not be able to put up a non-school related blog post until i go home for spring break. I am busy, busy, busy and in the midst of my "busi ness" (ha ha, new word), i have had high school drama. Literally. I mean, literally. OMG! I tire.

Trying to do research this summer, deadline for research proposal is Feb 15th and i haven't written a word of it and this is something that requires serious work. Plus, i just spent an hour and half today interviewing 2 senior citizens for a 5 page (not straight forward) paper i have to write before Wednesday. Let's not talk about school work. I am tired.

Anyway, so something i have been meaning to talk about, what is God's name is the deal with under-g relationships? I was talking with a friend and he said in passing "not unless they are in an under-g relationship". I was like, hold up? Why would anyone want to be in an under-g relationship? For the uninformed, under-g relationships which literally means underground relationships, are relationships that are kept on the down low or a SECRET!!! I've heard chics say "oh, we are together, but he said i should keep it a secret". To which i say, fool oshi! I don't see how a guy with clean hands and nothing to hide would ask someone to be in a secret relationship with them. That is so shady and some girls are stupid enough to fall for that crap.

"Oh, it's still early, i don't want anyone to know yet"
"Our relationship is so special, let's just keep it to ourselves"
"I just broke up with my ex... i need time" Time to do what? It's been 6 months.

I call BULL!!!! Those guys are cheating. I feel if you agree to be with a guy, he should be on cloud nine that he's with you and want to show you off. How can i be with someone who wants to keep me a secret? I understand under-g relationships if someone is married and is cheating and the person he is cheating with knows he's a married man, or you are with someone your parents don't approve of and you want to keep in on the down low so you don't get in trouble. I might excuse those (a little), but not some grown ass unattached (supposedly) guy telling you to keep your relationship a secret. Your question should be why, why, why? Any reason he gives you should be followed by "why?", no explanation or reason should be good enough because i strongly believe anyone who is requesting for an under-g relationship has something to hide and anyone who agrees to be in an under-g relationship for whatever reason is a MUMU!

This brings me to facebook and declaration of relationship status. I'm one of those people who won't put any indication of my relationship status on face. Whether it's to declare my status or to put pictures of the significant other that clearly indicates we are together. Firstly, unless you are engaged i don't think it's necessary. Do you want people to be counting your broken relationships after you? You know facebook is really amebobook. I know people who have had some dude all over their profile, dem no even dey let person see road with all the PDA. All of a sudden, you go on their pages and all their million and one pictures with their significant other has disappeared. That's where the speculation begins. So unnecessary! You not only have to deal with the break up in private, you have to deal with it on facebook.

What about those idiots that change their status from "in a relationship" to "it's complicated" to "single" back to "it's complicated" all within a week. What the fuck is wrong with you? We don't fucking care. Why do we have to know you are having relationship problems? I have had to delete someone like that from my page. I didn't bother hiding her feed, she annoyed me to the point i didn't want to see her on my friend's list. Stupidity at it's finest.

With that being said, and i know it's a contradiction but i have a problem with guys who are in a pretty serious relationship and there is absolutely no indication that they are in a relationship, not even a single picture anywhere out of their ten thousand profile pictures of their girl. In fact, they have the audacity to put "single" as their relationship status. Why any girl will put up with that, i will never understand. What explanation could he possibly give me that would make it okay for him to have "single" as his status?

Anyway, I just think some chics need to stop being stupid. There's no excuse to be in an under-g relationship. If any man asks you to be in one (unless he has made it clear that he is cheating on his wife or girlfriend and you willingly agree to participate), then he is probably cheating on you and you are the side piece or something. I think anyone should be happy and proud to be with you and shouldn't hide it.


P.S. You know the worst thing that has happened to Nigerian girls?
Lace front weaves!!!!
It's not by force. It's not by force o!


  1. so i guess this can be considered as an angry post? :p
    u sound real pissed.. kpele o!
    i also think under-G relationships are stupid and no girl shud allow any stupid jerk play her like that. but lyk na their lives, wats my own.. i'll jst sit in one corner and laugh, atleast thats a plus for me :)
    omg those people on fb that constantly advertise their reltionship status piss me off real bad! like each week there's a new status.. i'm lyk really?
    lol.. luvleee post :)

  2. lol....i'm not pissed at all. My friend said the same thing when he read the post. I just think it's dumb.

  3. Lmao at that closure! I will still write about it in one of my upcoming posts!..U see that FB thing ehn! Na kasala e go burst. Like you, I find it very suspicious to hear that a guy wants a girl to keep news of her r/ship with him a secret. Like seriously? I am yet to hear a good enuff reason. My bias however is, should it be looked at the same way if a girl says the same thing to a guy? As for the FB thingy. I donot feel like I need to be FB official b4 I am official with my guy. i am completely aversed to people knowing every single detail of goings-on in my life.

  4. I agree with you about FB being amebo book. I also dislike when I see people's relationship status changing like clothes. I don't get it. Why do they think everyone has know.
    You are one serious chic o. It's like you have no time for nonsense at all. Haba, you deleted the girl who always changed her relationship

  5. @HoneyDame: Is it a lie? Vultures wearing lacefront wigs all over the place.

    @Prism: No the chic was annoying me. I tolerated it for a while until i declared her irredeemably stupid. Let's not talk about her status messages. Every time she argues with the guy or something is wrong with her relationship, it ends up on facebook. What is all that for?

  6. i agree with this post! but most of all the last line...

    i dunno wats up with the fake front lace wigs that start from the middle of their foreheads and looks ridiculous!!! Even the ones that look good dont fit the ones wearing them...

    it aint that serious! have u been? take it easy with the books o!

  7. *laughing* @lace front wigs...e don tire me oooo! As for the U-G runs, it's definitely people that have a skeleton in their cupboard encourage it o!...i laughed at the FB palaver o jare...kini big deal sef?.. goodluck on your research & have a stress-free weekend.

  8. Facebook causes many problems than it has too, i know people who have literally broken up because of facebook, but on to the under G relationships, i believe its up to the 2 individuals in the relationship, if they both like their relationship to be private, then that is absolutely good for them... i personally cant deal with someone who likes PDA all the time, i can do an occasional french peck and flirty glances in public, but nothing too extreme and rated R.

  9. Facebook is just 'Social Paper', it shouldn't be taken seriously. Unfortunately, some have decided to base their lives on what they see on facebook. Some people even feel they know wat is goin on in your life because of your status messages. Some people have decided that they will torment every one by letting people know they are in 'happy relationships' by posting romantic pics all over facebook.

  10. You no well ooooooo.......all I took from this blog was the lace front wig. You mean shaaaa...... Some don dey use gum to stick am to their head. Heheheheheh

  11. UG relationship is a no-no
    There's always something to hide

    Facebook? I find the whole 'status update' thing a bit of a bore

    o we really need to know. Perharps we should have a section to update how ofetn they have had s*x.....?

    I'm one of those old-fashioned people that still feel there's something called 'private life'

  12. I totally agree with the last 2 lines...
    I think facebook should just deactivated the relationship thingy, it is just annoying the way people change the thing like TV station.

    Under comment

    Personally i'd like to think women who are in unger-g relationships know they are being lied to but just choose to go along with it because no explanation makes sense.

    As for people who are all over fb with their r/ships, well....... to each his own but i'm too much of a private person for that mess.

    LOL @ your p.s. Funny thing is lace-fronts are not so bad outside Nigeria but nigerian women have demonised it by not installing them properly.

  14. Dont know if this is a "venting" post :-)

    I broke up with a guy because of this "let's keep it a secret". Infact, the day I could not take it was when he was escorting me and we stumbled upon a mutual friend, and he said I came to visit his sister who was not at home so he had to escort me. That was the end...I am proud of who I am dating so I expect same from the person I am dating...

    As for that facebook thing, i totally feel you. I had to explain to my younger sister the implications and really we are not interested in the "in a relationship", "engaged", "its complicated"...until one is finally "married"

  15. I will now co-sign with Mizchif's comment and keep it moving...:D

  16. Rita said it!

    PS Your studies sound hardcore. Take it easy.

  17. madame sting - you succeeded in contradicting yourself 3 times in your post lol. R/ship shld NOT be underG - but wait o, don't put it on facebook at all o - but wait o - the guy has to show that he is in a r/ship on facebook somewhat!
    Ewo! Oya which one shld it be na??

    Buy anyways, your closure was the best - lace front weave! may God save our sistas from that abomination lol

  18. Mr. Ebuks are u sure u read this post well? Under-G in terms of keeping in a secret from everyone, I'm not talking about facebook. No one knows but the two of you. That is kinda suspicious if you ask me.

    With regards to guys who have serious girlfriends but lie about their status on facebook, that is a huge no no. How do you explain someone who has a live-in girlfriend and even with his 100s of pictures on facebook, you would never know he had a chic. I think that is false advertising and is also suspect.

    I didn't say don't put it on facebook at all. I said, i personally wouldn't because it's not necessary, unless it's something serious like an engagement, and i can't stand the people who change their relationship status willy nilly.

    I should flog u for making me spend time doing this. How u dey?


    sorry for typin in caps

  20. I've been in a few under-G relationships. It was really really bad. Obviously, I will never again agree to a situation where the guy in question is too ashamed of me to be public about our relationship but I think it's something everyone goes through as messed up as it is.

    Heh heh Sting, you want Blogville to descend on you for dissing lace front wigs abi?

  21. Laff wan tear my belle literally...I feel your pain...but this world eh...we have the horrid ones so we appreciate the good

    As per should meet @lumidizzle on speak his exact


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