Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Is she Joking?

WHAT MEN WANT by Stella Damasus

  • They want to feel like they are in control of things which is not bad because they are the head.
  • They want to feel loved and like it or not they are our first babies who desire words of affirmation no matter how macho they seem. 
  •  They want to feel WANTED all the time, it gives them the confidence that all men crave for.
  • They want to know you are still sexually attracted to them.
  • They don’t want you to make it obvious that you are smarter even if you are.
  • They like their space and alone time.
  • They don’t want to come and hug you after work with you are smelling of onions and oil. At least take a shower before he gets there or if there is no time spray perfume
  • They want to come home to a nice smelling neat and tidy home.
  • They want to walk into the bedroom with the bed all made up and clothes arranged. Maybe a small note on his pillow saying I love you and I am glad you are home, that definitely puts an automatic smile on his face even if for three seconds, it keeps him interested in you
  • They want you to be a good listener not just a talker.
  • They want to know that you believe in them and you are proud of them.
  • They want to know that no matter what you will have their back and support them, then ask questions later.
  • They just want to see that you are making an effort because no human should expect you to be perfect.
  • They don’t want another mother but they want you to take care of them the way you would your kids.
  • They want a wife, girlfriend, sorry to say (personal call girl) which is not a bad thing because he is your husband who is free to express his sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning.
Somebody PLEASE tell me she was being facetious and this was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. So after giving me goosebumps when she spoke about child marriage, she came up with this?!!!! I have disowned her.  Even housewives won't have time for some of this mess. I was nice enough to bold the ones i find incredulous. Mscheewww. She needs to stick to giving advice to her close friends and family members because shit like this is not for public consumption. I lost some respect for her after reading this.

I guess the men she has been dealing with have been some simplistic, shallow minded, insecure, egocentric, power tripping, incompetent human beings.

Talking about wanting their own personal call girl and being free to express his sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning, there's nothing wrong with that. But how many Nigerian men are willing to do the same for their wives? How many Nigerian men do you know who will go down on a woman?  They want to be taken care of like one of the kids but don't want you to act their mother. Talk about being confused. What the hell kind of desire is that? Who is taking care of this woman while she is doing all this for the man? Oh, God forbid you are smarter than your husband, you better hide it or he won't want you anymore. What kind of nonsense advice is this? So you come home and cook, you have to make sure you don't smell of oil and onions before you hug him. She needs to get the hell out of here with this nonsense.

The more i think about this, the more my dislike of her is growing.  I refuse to believe Madam Damasus came up with this. I refuse. It's not possible.

On the other hand, i am willing to accept that i am the problem and i have lost touch with my Nigerianness because i find stuff like this absolutely crazy.

Anyway, she did say this advice was for married women only, so i guess the rationale is since you are already trapped, you better make the best of your prison. That makes sense. 


  1. All I'm saying is that as long as on Monday till Thursday 3pm, I do all of that and from 3:01pm Thursday till Sunday 11:59:59 you do the same in return, we could rock. Ain't nobody got time to be on this one way street with these men "who don't want a mother, but want you to take care of them like your children"

    1. LMAOOO....that doesnt sound like a bad idea, to be honest...LOL

    2. When pigs fly, i guess then they will agree that marriage should be a partnership.

  2. LOL Stella Damasus baby! When I saw the right up on one blog, I didn't even finish reading it before I closed the page. Well alot of my older aunties told me the same before I got married and by now i've figured out that my experience with SM is quite different so I keep quiet when people are saying stuffs like this. Quite a number of nigerian women I know believe the above. Infact my dear, its not limited to nigerians, I work with arabs and I can tell you they believe and do all the above and some. Nigerian women even have more liver than arabs.

    In conclusion, to each your own. They should sha stop making it feel like marriage is one big trap or it takes one to tango. It takes both the man and woman to keep it all spicy and sweet. In as much as women think they are fighting to keep the man from having babes outside, they should chill a bit and let the men too fight to keep their attention abi no be so?

  3. There's no rule... lol. These na just her opinion

    1. Yeah, but it will continue to perpetuate the unrealistic expectation women have to deal with especially as she is a celebrity.

  4. I don't even bother reading anything involving the words "how to keep a man". Wake me up when someone decides to start teaching men how to keep/treat a woman (and it not be any misogynistic nonsense).

  5. Lol welcome back to marriage as it is interpreted by Nigerians. May I remind you that you will hear these and even worse ones here just because in Nigeria marriage is a do or die affair and it is carefully spelt out that if you are nt this sort of a super woman who can do desperado things to keep her man, the man has the right to go out to another woman who can. Gospel written by ignorant men, swallowed hook line and sinker by even ignorant desperate women. And the pastors keep telling you marriage is meant to be enjoyed nt endured and when they want to interprete a woman's role with regards to the word 'submit' as t is written in the bible, they write these sort of very ridiculous rules that even a man would not be able to keep up with if the tables were turned. Please, do you let me do me.

  6. Why would anyone wanna 'keep a man?' Being the much-touted 'head' is about responsibility - for himself and for me. If he makes a choice to be with me, he can make the damn choice to stay with me. I refuse to be blamed for his choice to cheat - which is what these foolish lists are.

  7. I am a married woman and totally DISAGREE with this biased article!

    Love and respect is reciprocal!

    The article makes it feel women should be 'slaves' to the men and worship the ground they walk on!

    If they like, they should have 1000 mistress to satisfy their whims because their wives refused to play ball, it is their bodies and purse that would suffer! The wives would simply learn how to tighten their wrappers and belt by using CD with them, and hiding their finances from them! Some wives are getting better at the same game they play!

  8. The Seuss quote on top? Classic!!

  9. Okay ooo, i dont know what to say. Guys love smart ladies ooo, the ones that would keep them on their toes. Aunty stella sounds like she is pissed o or fustrated sha.

  10. i always read stuff like this hoping that one day someone will get it right - always disappointed. But i think everyone else on this page is on the same page but stella so nuff said


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