WHAT MEN WANT by Stella Damasus
- They want to feel like they are in control of things which is not bad because they are the head.
- They want to feel loved and like it or not they are our first babies who desire words of affirmation no matter how macho they seem.
- They want to feel WANTED all the time, it gives them the confidence that all men crave for.
- They want to know you are still sexually attracted to them.
- They don’t want you to make it obvious that you are smarter even if you are.
- They like their space and alone time.
- They don’t want to come and hug you after work with you are smelling of onions and oil. At least take a shower before he gets there or if there is no time spray perfume
- They want to come home to a nice smelling neat and tidy home.
- They want to walk into the bedroom with the bed all made up and clothes arranged. Maybe a small note on his pillow saying I love you and I am glad you are home, that definitely puts an automatic smile on his face even if for three seconds, it keeps him interested in you
- They want you to be a good listener not just a talker.
- They want to know that you believe in them and you are proud of them.
- They want to know that no matter what you will have their back and support them, then ask questions later.
- They just want to see that you are making an effort because no human should expect you to be perfect.
- They don’t want another mother but they want you to take care of them the way you would your kids.
- They want a wife, girlfriend, sorry to say (personal call girl) which is not a bad thing because he is your husband who is free to express his sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning.
I guess the men she has been dealing with have been some simplistic, shallow minded, insecure, egocentric, power tripping, incompetent human beings.
Talking about wanting their own personal call girl and being free to express his sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning, there's nothing wrong with that. But how many Nigerian men are willing to do the same for their wives? How many Nigerian men do you know who will go down on a woman? They want to be taken care of like one of the kids but don't want you to act their mother. Talk about being confused. What the hell kind of desire is that? Who is taking care of this woman while she is doing all this for the man? Oh, God forbid you are smarter than your husband, you better hide it or he won't want you anymore. What kind of nonsense advice is this? So you come home and cook, you have to make sure you don't smell of oil and onions before you hug him. She needs to get the hell out of here with this nonsense.
The more i think about this, the more my dislike of her is growing. I refuse to believe Madam Damasus came up with this. I refuse. It's not possible.
On the other hand, i am willing to accept that i am the problem and i have lost touch with my Nigerianness because i find stuff like this absolutely crazy.
Anyway, she did say this advice was for married women only, so i guess the rationale is since you are already trapped, you better make the best of your prison. That makes sense.