Sunday, December 12, 2010

Oligosin

We all know those guys who come to America and want to be akata by force....uh hum, before they even step foot off the plane, accent done change "Waz up mehn" "You ganna be kidding me". First point of call is to get a piercing or piercings, next the customary tattoo that is more often than not an asian symbol, then the jerry curl abi na texturizer. Sting who has been here for the last 8 years will be struggling to understand the "american accent" of someone who just got here less than a year ago. o_O

Then there exists at the other end of the spectrum, guys that have been here since 19 gbidi gbidi no date (God knows how long) and they refuse to change anything and i mean ANYTHING! If you haven't met anyone of such nature, trust me these creatures exist. The word acculturation does not exist in their dictionary. At this point, i am not sure which breed i prefer. These are the ones who make chics say they can never marry someone who just came from naija........only, this one did not just come o! They have been here since when Babangida was first president and Bendel state still existed.They have chosen to hold on tight to the ancient traditions of their forefathers that even the people currently living in Nigeria no longer practice.

"Oh please o, don't use American words when you speak to me. I don't know what they mean and i don't want to know" Side eye to you! Since when did "touchy" become an American word that is so difficult to understand. I'm struggling......i'm really struggling to understand. You don't know and you don't want to learn because America is not your country and you will go back to Naija eventually.
"When is eventually?" 
"uhmmm...maybe the next 20 years" Fool oshi!

"What?!!! Did you just say it would have been nice if i did the dishes?! Abomination!!! My mother said i should run away from any woman who wants to assign me kitchen duties" But you used the dishes and you were home all day doing nothing......side eye to you.

"Are you going to help me with the baby if we don't have help and we both work?"
 "Somebody sound the alarm o, this woman has committed! She don commit. Ask me to help her with a child that i impregnated her with?! What madness! Chineke God in heaven, you are so westernized. You need to go back to Nigeria to go learn how to be a proper Nigerian woman". Well, side eyes to you too!!! What happened to wanting to assist the mother of your child so she doesn't die from being overworked? Anyone who has been around a new born knows how much work they are....the sleepness nights and yet the person responsible for all that refuses to help because he is a man and that is not his duty. Someone should show me who assigned those duties because that person needs some serious talking to.

"Why are you wearing socks with sandals?" 
"You won't buy this shirt because what?.......oh! You only wear shirts that you buy from Nigeria. All these shirts in America are fake, they are not as well made as the ones you buy in Nigeria" o_O
Jesus be a ladle so i can slap some sense into this person

I am all for being who you are, holding on to and embracing your culture but seriously i think in order to live a balanced life as a foreigner/immigrant you need to be able to adapt to the environment you end up in. I can be as naija as all get out and at the same time I can totally be a 100%  with non-nigerian people. I call it having the best of both worlds. I don't think we should be so resistant to change that we refuse to grow thus ending up at a disadvantage.

#justsaying
#Iknowthesepeople

*Oligosin - Secondary school slang used to refer to someone considered backwards, out of date, old-fashioned, archaic, not cool etc  LOL

13 comments:

  1. Hahahah!! This was hilarious!! ^_^

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  2. lol @ 19 gbidi....i believe in compromise....learning to blend the 2 cultures so as to get the best... when in rome, behave like the romans but i don't like the accent faking..be natural....when in a particular place for so long, one would tend to pick up some slang or funky words here & there unconsciously.

    ......as for helping out with the chores & baby?...my sistah, ALL Nigerian men are guilty of such offense because of the belief that had been imbibed in them from childhood. It's very few that help out but not as often as the woman wants! I observed that even Nigerians that are born & breed abroad,tend to exhibit such traits when they relocate or visit Nigeria! So i wonder if na blood that mentality dey sef!

    A lady that got married barely 2 months ago is complaining about her hubby not helping with the chores at all, for the fact that they both come back home in the evenings....he would simply say weldone & go to relax in the room!
    We told her, welcome to reality! so she beera wake up & smell the roses!..*grinning*

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  3. yea change is constant, but dat pix is doing umn to me dis morning :)

    *how u?

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  4. LOL! Seriously Naija people are living soap operas.

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  5. Oh!!! do not forget those ones who want their wives to cut the peppers for the vegetables by hand o...hehehe...the hilarity of Naija men abroad!

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  6. are you the one in the white socks and sandals..? lol

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  7. i know those kinds of ppl you're speaking about, the one that will never change & the ones that changed when they submitted their passports@the US Embassy in Lagos

    i do fine with my own SAS, Shifting Accent Syndrome...best of both worlds

    socks & sandals sha...that na him own aje formings
    LOOOOOO, IDD

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  8. Hmmm, I'd say both categories are so many that the liberated are few.
    What ever happened to being yourself?
    I have an uncle whose been in the states for 40something years; he's even in the military and when he came home once he spoke the dialect better than me and even corrected me along with the proverbs and idiomatic expressions.. I was impressed but ofcourse that didn't change the fact that his views on so many things showed that he'd blended with the culture and beliefs of the states..
    I think it depends on the state of mind of each individual and the level of exposure.

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  9. lol hysterical examples...unfortunately they are soo true ...tis changing but i dont see it been wiped out as out naija brothers are stubborn and hate the idea of adapting to a new environment lol

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  10. lol. whinch of the two types person go prefer

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  11. Haha.

    Thank God i have not met these people o. Else....

    Ps: that picture just took me back to secondary school. Like really...

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