Thursday, April 22, 2010

6 things to work on

  • Anger : I sabi vex! My blood too dey hot.  I used to get really angry to the point where i felt like i lost control of my actions. Not good! I just read of a lady who was sentenced to 25 yrs in prison for running over a group of boys throwing snacks at her car and killing one of them. So wasn't worth it. I've been working on that and it's a lot better. I only got angry once like that last yr. No incidents this year. Instead I'm just an emotional wreck. I still get irritated easily though. I have no patience for ignorance. I guess i need to work on that too.
  • Being blunt: I used to be the queen of that. It was never on purpose too. I just said what i was thinking, the way i was thinking it. No filter. People always used to tell me i was too blunt and i never listened until about 3 yrs ago. I really don't like to hurt people's feeling and sometimes it takes a certain level of maturity to care about these things. I guess as i got older, i just became more conscious of it, and now i try to think about what i'm saying before i say it. I don't always succeed but i know i try. 
  • Being sociable: I give myself a 3/10 for that one. I can be very shy, except at work where i know there's no room for that, then i just dive it. It's almost like i have a split personality sometimes. At home and around pple i'm close to, i will talk ur ear off. As soon as i walk out my house, it's a whole nother store. I don't do it on purpose but i'm aware of how i switch. I think i'm naturally quiet. Everyone at my job thinks i'm this mild mannered, sweet, soft spoken person. They should see me at home. My sister hosted a baby shower at her house, i did not step out of my room once. In my defense, i was having a moment that day, maybe i would have attended. We would never know. 
  • Not cutting pple off easily: I would like to think that i'm a very loyal friend and i genuinely care about my friends.  I haven't really made a really good friend since i've been in this country (almost 8yrs). I was very close to my friend in California, but that fell through cos she was reading my blog, lying about it and then misinterpreting what she read on the blog. It was just a mess. Made me want to stop blogging but i stuck through it. Sad thing is I completely opened up to her and i've never done that with anyone else. She knew 98% of what i was writing, so i don't get why she had to sneak and read it and then refuse to admit she was reading it. She said that would defeat the purpose. What purpose? She didn't trust me? I'm trying to be over it, but i'm not because that friendship was ruined and i don't think we can ever go back to how we were. Sad! Anyhoo, she's the one person i know i tried to fix the problem while it was going on, but she wasn't ready. Usually, i just cut u off. No questions asked, we don't need to quarrel, just go. I did that with someone who was supposed to be my friend, but her actions last dec and January of this year, just let me know that she really didn't care about me. I let her know how i felt and i just stayed away. 
  • Stubbornness: Every single person i know says I'm stubborn. Mr. Man told his brother that i'm stubborn. How? I still don't know. Although i know that if EVERYBODY is saying it, then it true. My younger brother was talking about trying his weight loss ideas on someone, and i asked what about me? He said , no, you r too stubborn. This was a few days ago. lol. I guess i have to watch myself more closely to see why everyone says that. I like to argue. My married friend just told me that i always like to get my point across. Mr. Man said that i do something wrong, i apologize but while apologizing i still try to get my point across. I guess that makes me stubborn. OK.
  • Being too emotional: Jesus Christ!!! It's bad. The crazy this is i put up this hard front and when i break down these days, my friends are always like they've never seen that side of me. Trust me, it's always been there. I just hide it very well. I never used to open up to people, so i would always cry in the privacy of my bedroom. Then come out and be this hard ass to guys. One of my nicknames used to me Margaret Thatcher. I have someone who always says he would like to meet the man i would get married to. If only he knew. I'm never like that with guys i really like. Don't do it on purpose. Just my personality i guess. I have to admit though that i am too emotional and sensitive and a lot of things get to me, especially when it has to do with relationships and i really like the guy. I have to work on that big time. I can't be like this when i go back to school. I need to be able to push stuff aside and concentrate on school. 


      1. Feels like I'm being spoke to.
        Hope you're ok?
        I'm not rubbing the wrong way am I ? Lol, Take care

      2. @NakedSha: Thanks.
        @2cute4u: lol.... how could u possibly rub me the wrong way.

      3. I'd wantd to say something like, ''You're ok, girl'', but then i thot whadahell do i even mean by that? So i'm gonna tell u what i REALLY think instead.
        Look, its yo life, ok? If u think u oughta change alittle, then do so; otherwise, fcuk it. But in my experience, whn almost everybody tells u there's something a little wrong wiv yo attitude, they'r usually right.

        On side note, whats wiv all dis 'rubbing'? Lol, can i join in?

      4. @Kay9: Abeg o. I took that part of the post down and no u can't join in :))


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