Thursday, August 7, 2008

Boys are Gross!

Seriously. No offense to the guys..... well, to be honest, offense to the guys. I don't care cos it's true. Boys are just gross, if not why then do most guys feel the need to talk about shit and shitting? Not only that, they also think it's cool to belch and fart (mess, gas or pass gas, shoot the breeze or whatever euphemism u choose to adopt), whenever or where ever they please. The things i've put up with all in the quest for "love" chei!

Let me tell u guys about the Jamo that i was talking to and his messing (farting) issues. Within the first week of knowing the dude and hanging out, this guy was comfortable enough to start farting in front of me. To be honest, i don't think he was ever uncomfortable in the first place. I doubt the thot ever crossed his mind that this chic is not my sister, or mother and she might not appreciate having to hear and inhale my waste product. B4, i could say Jack Robinson, the boy don mess, then he would have the audacity to say "Pardon" pronounced "parrr-don!". The one wey vex me pass, was the day we were eating at his house and right in the middle of chopping (eating) the food, oh boy don mess, dey say "parr-don!" I was so disgusted, e be like say make i slap am. Food no gree me chop again. I just thot that was so rude, like seriously. That's just gross. Right in the middle of a meal?!!!!!

Then there was this other dude that did his own all the way from naija. Just imagine. We are talking on the phone one blessed morning and he says he's in the toilet. Next thing i know, he's like listen to this...... what do i hear, loud disgusting farting sounds. Christ! WTF?!! What was that for? I no say make e no shit. It's bad enough that he's doing it and talking to me, but did he have to do that?

Then there's this idiot at my lab, that just belches out of the blue. Lunch time has long come and gone, but he will be belching like a fool. I don't mind light belches that only the person next to u can hear, but when the whole lab can hear ur disgusting belch leaving us to wonder what animal you just consumed, that is so not cool. Besides, i know that you can control ur belch. Ah ah! Wetin?! Saying Excuse me doesn't cut it, not when u do it all the time. Just gross!

Which brings me to the question that i have been dying to ask. To all u married chics, and chics in relationships, how or when do u get comfortable enough to start farting in front of ur guy/husband? Serious oh! I know pple that can't go to the bathroom (shit) when their guy is in the house or close by. There are some days when i have serious gas issues, and i can't imagine having a guy lying next to me, cos i think we would be broken up or divorced come morning. Now, i have no problem doing any of all that in front of my brother, but he doesn't count. Oya, make una nack me tory!

29 comments:

  1. ROFL! Ok, that's disgusting! I swear I will tell my future boyfriend or husband to pretend I'm the bloody Queen of England (after all I'll be his queen, right?) and as such, he is not allowed to emit disgusting noises in my presence.

    Hmm, and maybe his and her bathrooms would be a good idea.

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  2. oh and the way you shared this entry was beyond funny!

    I think when I'm in a relationship, I'll try to put off introducing him to that side of me as long as possible (I'd say forever but I'm sure that won't happen). I mean really, he knows I fart and poop and I know he farts and poops but is there really a reason to get so comfortable with one another that you do it in front of each other? I would say no.

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  3. this is funny. i guess guys feel comfortable wit u hence the fartin. funny i feel insulted that no dude has ever farted in front of me cept my bro and like u said that does not count.

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  4. dats actually gross.

    i dont think ill be able to do dat, but u have gotta have a bf first b4 u say dat right???

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  5. Yes, that is very gross. Strangely though, I'm more concerned with myself doing such in front of my spouse than the other way round. I think its just TMI. And i have this fear that he would be horrified at the resulting .... scent.. *ahem*

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  6. hahahaa


    lmao!!


    Successful Marriage = Separate bathrooms... preferrably at opposite ends on the house.

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  7. Belching out loud is the only one that really gets to me. When i get comfortable with my bf, I fart in front of him and use his toilet if I have to. I don't like the idea of talking on the phone while in the toilet and telling the other person. I could do it but I'll make sure the person I'm talking to doesn't know. I guess I'm just the comfortable with it, I never was a girly girl anyway.

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  8. LMAO, i truly wonder y guys do this. I had dis bf dat used to refer to the scent of his mess as romantic. Like WTF!!! Even if u dont know he jus farted, he'll jus say "mmmm romantic". I jus used to itch to slap him sometimes.

    I guess guys just think it shows that they r comfortable around u for them to emit such noxious sounds and odors. Pls i'd rather u were very uncomfortable thank you!!!!

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  9. Very funny...see, u have cured me of my loling!!!

    In all my dating relationships i have only ever been comfortable farting in front of one person...we used to have farting competitions....

    But guys are gross sha....cos he took it another level to mean he could fart when ever....

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  10. Where did my comment go? Hmmm, anyway...Wow for this particular guy ohh. I haven't ever farted in front of a guy even though my my friends and I freely fart in front of each other and all. Its weird I guess, and I think even though he might be comfortable its still quite rude. Wheww...who wants all those toxins in one's lungs?

    Stinky McStinkface

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  11. ROFLMAO! 419 dude is hilarious... farting aroound anyone is just plain gross...boyfriend or not!

    btw, Sting, i changed my url, its now http://toluwa.blogspot.com, pls update the one on ur blog..thnx!

    hilarious post!

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  12. I don't feel comfortable farting in front of anyone, period. I never have in a relationship-and I've never had a guy I'm dating do it front of me. I want his and her bathrooms when I get married...
    Yeah, im weird like that.

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  13. eWwwwW an effin million times!!
    i for just slap d guy! dang

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  14. WHAT! farting while u guys were eating! i won't take dat 4rm anyone o! dat mega-gross!

    @ ur question: actually, i fart a lot (a little less wen MM is around though, hehehehehe). i also fart in 4rm of him, & laugh wen he starts screaming abt d smell. he farts in front of me too, & i just hit him! daz wen we r being silly sha. most times, wen i need 2 fart, i excuse myself & do it n a different room. same goes 4 pooh-poohing.

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  15. hmmm. his and hers bathrooms oh. because I know the smell of my poop is not the most pleasant!

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  16. I don't fart oh... i quit that bad habit in 2002... lol.. seriously... u are funny as heck this babe but on the real... i dont fart in front of people.. i swear nigeriandramaqueen is like my sister from another mother... cos i never fart in front of any guy or body actually and never have them fart with me... not a fan... AT ALL!!!

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  17. Damn! Very funny.

    Every dude must read this ;)

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  18. eeeeeeeeyahhh

    just put all the boys on blast...so wetin, girl no they mess or burp!!!

    who am i kidding, some guys do it, but thats some..

    I personally dont do it, expect im home or the always the silent ones, you deny

    when im with my girl, although i totally comfortable with her, i just find it rude, and i will be thinking "what does she think about me now"

    although its not that deep, its just common courtesy, to take your mess outside of the room!

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  19. hey sweetie, how far? thats some funnyn ish right there...lol

    but i guess when u r in a relationship and u guys feel comfy with each other,then it wont be an issue anymore but not wen u just start dating.

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  21. It's cos some of them were not taught how to behave well. Why b/cos of the error of excusing them that "leave him, he is a boy". What nonsense

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  23. hmmm..ive been thinking about this..(cos i havnt really been in a relationship) and i think its a personal thing..like personally..i dont think ill ever get comfortable!! but its something i have to live with shey??

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  24. Lol...babes u cracking me up. What guys u moving with. Anyways the timing of farting is undeterminable. I guess its as soon as you feel within urself that its ok.

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  25. I mean at the beginning of a relationship. It's not ok to fart in front of a person you are dating but as the relationship progresses to 1 yr or more. It doesn't matter anymore cos the guy is now comfortable with you and is not ashamed to show you that he is human. He farts, shits like a human.lol Wow! you have experience some immature guys.lol

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