Saturday, October 13, 2012

Why Do Nigerian Girls Find It Difficult Finding A Husband Or Getin Married???

Written by Austine Uhunmwangho

 Dedicated to the girls out there-:.

You are not married not because there is no man ready for marriage as a good number of men are looking for life partners. The major reason Nigerian men are now scared of marriage is waywardness. Men are now afraid because they don’t know who to trust and also not sure if that beautiful girl they are interested in still has her womb intact. They are also afraid because of the high mountain ladies have suddenly placed themselves on as no woman wants to date a poor man (a beggar) any longer but are all interested in those with good cars and houses. A man recently told me why he does not allow his girlfriends to come to his house. According to him, he doesn’t want a case where a girl enters his house only for her to refuse leaving because of the beauty of the house and cars she will see.

Isn’t it surprising how single ladies now out-dress married women with good jobs whose husbands are very rich? You are not married because the single men around you are wondering if they will be able to meet up with your ever- demanding lifestyle. Even when they know they can afford it, what makes them believe you won’t take a walk tomorrow if anything goes wrong? Another reason is that with your good job and salary, they are even afraid to come near you as they wouldn’t want to be turned down. I have a female colleague, a very pretty girl who lives in her own house and drives a posh car. She also has different businesses to show for it. Recently, I advised her to calm down a bit as friends I introduce her to who ordinarily would have gone for her, all run away after meeting her and come back to me with the same word, “BJB, this one go send me go village.”

Another reason you are going to grow old in your father’s house is this: You want a ready-made man instead of a growing man with vision. Are you aware that if you have not obtained favour from God, the man will decrease instead of increasing when you enter his house? Work on your character, the words that come from your mouth, your lifestyle, the way you carry yourself, the way you dress, the places you visit and then spend time trying to find favour before God because it’s only favour that can make your husband increase the moment you step into his life. In fact, the moment a man proposes to you, there must be some positive movements in his finance if at all you have obtained favour. It is never your duty to find a man. While he is working trying to raise money to sustain whoever he takes home to his mother, you should get yourself busy obtaining favour from God for you to be his source of blessing. A man knows when the wife is a source of blessing and that is the only time he cherishes you.

In the previous paragraph, I said the man should take you home to his mother. I don’t understand why you get married to a man who believes it’s just between the two of you. Read the Bible; they all took their wives home to their mothers. If a man cannot take you home to his people, something is wrong. Isn’t it surprising how many are married without knowing their husband’s village and his mother’s bedroom? Marriage, in the African culture, is not between the man and woman alone, the two families must be involved. Hey, you have to stop moving from one prayer house to the other in search of miracles that are not coming even after you might have emptied your pocket. Go back to your room; deal with your character and bad nature that is filled with pride and disrespect for the elderly. Cut down on frivolities and that is not all, deal with your party and aso ebi spirit. You must also deal with that thing that gets you to aimlessly move from one end of the street to the other all in search of precious souls to destroy. Change that mentality that says you use what you have to get what you want; any man you get with your ass is as filthy, unreliable and irresponsible as you are. C'mon girl, go deal with yourself first before you start blaming your step mother of being the one keeping you down. Stop blaming your neighbours and friends of standing on your way to progress. I just told you the bitter truth which your Alfa, Babalawo, pastor and Imam may never tell you. Stop wasting your time chasing shadows, go and deal with yourself first before complaining.

I know of a wonderful lady who sings so well that when she comes to lead in worship, miracles take place. People love her, but this lady is unmarried till date. It is not because men don’t go to her for marriage or because she is ugly; her number one obstacle is her character. They say there are many old single ladies in our churches; I think I know the problem and not that most of them wasted their lives in frivolities only to realise the last minute that they have to run into the church where they can get a brother to marry. I am not trying to judge anyone’s past, but the issue is that even when they join those churches, their characters don’t change.It’s really appalling how some ladies talk to men simply because they are in the same church. Some of them fight everyone in their department in church while some live their lives begging from one member to the other. What do you have to say about ladies who fight for food during church meetings? Those guys would be foolish to see the stuff you are made of and still go ahead to take you home to mama.

I always tell ladies that if by the age of 30 no man had asked to know if you are for sale, there is something wrong somewhere; its either spiritual or attitudinal, but the truth is that it is always more attitudinal than spiritual. You have been fasting and praying and going for all levels of deliverance but it seems nothing is working. What is your character like after all the prayers and religious devotions? It is sad when I see a single girl walk up to a married woman sitting with her husband and telling the woman to get up because she was there before her. You attend functions with extra bags to pack food and drinks and when it’s time to hit the dancing floor, you do that as if there is no tomorrow. What do you expect from life when you are the source of all quarrels in your neighborhood, church and office? This is the moment of truth and if at all you want to be delivered, your decision to deliver yourself is the first step to your breakthrough.

I randomly saw this on facebook when a mututal friend commented on it. I don't know the guy. All i have to say after reading this post is that women have suffered! Chai. Na wa sha! Naija people i hail una o. I guess men are blameless and perfect saints. 

21 comments:

  1. You summed up my mind with those last sentences. When women stop behaving as if marriage is the be all end all of their lives, buffoons like this would stop writing these kind of articles.
    Of course he made some points therein, but with the repeated jabs, it's hard to take him serious.
    What women don't realize is that inasmuch as you people are busy chasing husband, men are also searching for GOOD WIVES. So we are both searching.
    Men need to calm their asses down and realize that both sexes want marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Is he serious? The only point agreed with in the entire article is the need for the man to take you to meet his people and vice versa. Ok can he now write one for why there are still bachelors well into their forties walking around...

    ReplyDelete
  3. This rubbish article. Are u just seeing it? Twas written by one amara. I remember the if noone has asked you what you are selling at 30 part wella.

    Utter rubbish i repeat
    Doll

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was wondering what kind of demon has possessed you oh Madame Sting, till I saw the part that it was not written by you...as for the young man who wrote this, I have no comment and I hope he is married as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol....i'm glad u know i have to be possessed by a demon to write like this.

      Delete
  5. regardless there is a truth to what he preaches. set aside the bais and sexism, it all boils down to character. whether male or female. although i see why this article can be a turn off; its majorly one sided but still there's truth to it. character is everything.
    thats my am a realist and very open minded.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is true. He does have some valid point but the bias and sexism as you have rightfully pointed out takes this piece from a 6/10 to a 2/10. Besides he manages to contradict himself at least once. So no ma'am. It's always good to be open minded. I agree with that.

      "If at 30 no man is asking if you are for sale" GTFOH with that nonsense. In fact he gets a 1/10 for that rubbish he wrote.

      Delete
    2. from his article i can pyschoanalize that he probably is a tyrant @ home or too egotistic to see pass his nose. he did try making some valid points though and am sure he means well but his writing style reflects his character; 'close minded'. if only he could find that balance, there is that thin line...he just missed his step.

      Delete
    3. I was beginning to think if there was somthing wrong with me for seeing the truth in the points that the writer made. I don't live in Nigeria but here in the UK a lot of what he wrote is true. Apart from the food scrounging, a lot of the mature single women I know don't do that. As much as there's a number of reasons why some women are in their 40s and still seeking husbands I have to say an attitude problem is one of them. Even as a young lady I'm embarrassed for some ladies when I hear the way they speak to some people. I may be a dreamer but I really don't think the attitude is always necessary. Please don't shoot me because of my 2 pence.

      Delete
    4. Lol...don't worry no one has guns on here, at least I don't. Besides u hv valid points. If the article was worded differently, it would hv been ace.

      Delete
  6. lmao...dancing like there is no tomorrow....lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. Naija people and plagiarism shaa. This article was written by one Amara lady in 2010 or 2011. It got the deserved ire of enough over 30s.

    I thank God for her that she got married at 21. Abeegi

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    Replies
    1. Pardon me for askng but I'm not too familiar with a lot of Nigerian terminologies - what is an Amara?

      Delete
  8. Dude needs to sit TF down with than nonsense, abeg!

    ReplyDelete
  9. OH YEAH! That's true. Amara somebody. She's widowed now, you know. Poor thing.

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  10. misogyny is the reason women have not taken over the world.

    I cant even begin to imagine a guy writing this kind of stuff about bachelors, say over 40. But nope, men will slap us from one side and women will do same from the other side. If not dat woman get strength unequaled, world for don taya person. mtchew!

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  11. My dear
    all explanations won't hold water when you see some peeps
    It is still grace.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I thought you wrote the post
    Guys talk o
    Just be who you are meen
    You can't please everyone
    Just be reasonable and please God.

    ReplyDelete

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