Friday, May 6, 2011

Day of the Vaginas

This witch really had 73 slides in one lecture. I finally finished, thank you Jesus. I didn't think i was going to be able to update this blog until after my exams, but it literally takes me 10 mins so i might as well offload. Went to my mentor's clinic today and it was bloody. Literally. When i went last week, without any warning this lady is going to ask the patient "Is it okay if Student Doctor Sting does a brief pelvic exam?". I wanted to run out the room. Pelvic kini? I begged Jehovah that she would say no, but i don't think my prayer had time to reach heaven cos it took her all of 2 seconds to say "that's fine". They always say yes....Why?

Anyhoodle, that's how i had my first experience with KY jelly and a vagina that wasn't mine. Feel the ovaries, and the uterus blah blah. I didn't feel anything, all that was going through my head was "OMG, OMG, OMG!!!! My fingers are in someone's vagina! Hummm....i think my fingers are too short cos i can't feel anything". I survived that experience and went back again for more. Mind you, for those of you that are wondering, I'm not in an Ob/Gyn rotation which usually happens in third year. I'm technically supposed to be seeing my clinical mentor so i can see how things work and maybe practice blood pressure taking, interviewing and those basic stuff. (I think). I guess when she told me she was hands on, she wasn't joking.

So today was my last official day of going to her clinic. We have to do 6 visits but i only did 5 and she forgave me the last one. I ended up doing a half a pap smear,collected the cultures or whatever after the doctor inserted the speculum. Then i did one by myself,  inserted the speculum (or whatever it's called) collected the culture and all that good stuff and took it out. With help and direction of course. I have to work on talking to the patient as i do it. I have no clue what i'm doing so what does she expect me to say when she says tell them what you are about to do "Erm.....i'm about to open ur lips and stick this thing through....blood of Jesus". Med school can make you look like a fool. I'm so not looking forward to third year.

I did another pelvic exam and didn't freak out this time.I still didn't feel anything, but at least i attempted to move my fingers the way i was instructed.  I also watched a mirena (IUD) get inserted. I did a couple of breast exams too. One of the breast exams was a TRIPLE DDD. Na wa. This was the lady i did the pap smear on. She's having trouble with those large breasts, and you can see where her bra straps are cutting into her skin. Too much of everything is bad. I could talk about the hair on her chest, in her arm pit and the smell of her vagina, but i won't. I just felt the need to really wash my hands after i got home. I don't remember ever being this put off by cadavers. I guess i like dead bodies better. lol. Not really.

Remember to send positive thoughts my way cos i need all the prayers and good vibes i can get. This people want to kill a sister. I'm surviving on 2hrs of sleep a day. Yesterday, i managed to sleep for 6 hrs. Unauthorized sleep courtesy of a renegade body. I no gree wake up o. I still was up at 4am and have only slept an hour and half since then.

Adios

16 comments:

  1. Wow.This isn't a regular day. Good luck with all ur medical stuff. Wish u all the best. As for positive thoughts.I just sent one. :)

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  2. Our Dokita in the making! Carry go my Sista and all the best.
    p.s. Didnt know the cervix was so short you can touch the ovaries. or is it more like you can feel them not necessarily touch?

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  3. @Ginger: At this point you are asking the wrong person. Apparently, you are so supposed to be able to feel them. I'm not sure if it's the same thing as touching them.

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  4. Omg! eeew lool
    you're trying hey..this right here is why i can never be a dokita.
    Goodluck sha, and eeeeeeew at the TMI on the woman with the huge boobies :/ lol

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  5. LOL! I shld blog about my own experience - doing rectal exams (male) and breast and vajay-jay exams. I'd say the latter was worst. Twas my first time ever - the smell was OVERBEARING (anyone know why???) and it wldnt leave me for DAYS, I cldn't feel a single thing when I was inside and had no clue what I was doing, it was all mushy mushy inside chai - btw ladies, F.A.T is not good pls abeg. ABEG!!! lol

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  6. LOL! You can imagine what the woman felt like when you were feeling up her insides! lol!!!

    Adiya

    And goodluck hon

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  7. I am SO flattered to be on your sidebar hunny! Your writing has me in TEARS!! TOO FUNNY lol

    BLEURGH!
    http://say-bleurgh.blogspot.com/

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  8. Thanks for answering M'am Sting.
    Meanwhile Okonya has got me laughing. I can just imagine wading your hands through all that adipose.

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  9. Goodluck....you will overcome.

    better be prepared o..because you go *enter* plenty of vjay-jay oo..hahaa.

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  10. Inspirational power-woman! You go girl...I know you will accomplish great things u fighter..
    MIssed ur blog,my life is as busy as urs so thats why i havent been around. Student to student - do you even have any time at all for a social life? On average per month, how many hours would you say you have :-p
    Will be back soon. Oh and I'd like to know more about this ish cuz im going for my ob/gyn appointment tomorrow and im always worried what its like on the other side looooool

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  11. LOL @ Adaeze: I had to come out and respond to your question. Social kini? What is that? LOL. That cracked me the hell up. I get one weekend off every month which is usually after an exam. So i don't have new stuff to study until the next Monday. A lot of people go out to drink and stuff but i'm sometimes too sleep deprived to do that like i was last month.

    So to answer your question, no i don't have a social life. I'm sure people can make time for one, but it definitely would not be a regular thing by any means.

    As for being on the other side, hmmm....it's no biggie really. Most vaginas look alike and as long as you are clean and stuff you are good :)

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  12. OMG! Ha Ha Ha

    I could never, ever! in a million years do what you had to do. Someone else's vajayjay? Kai, reason #2098 why i could never be a Doctor, too much nasty stuff.

    Lol. Don't mind me jare, all the best in your studies dear.

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  13. Interesting...
    I certainly do not envy you at all!

    All the best Doc!

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  14. wow! wow! i had my "eeeew face" on while reading this post....chei....you dey try. I wish you all the best!

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