Monday, October 27, 2014

The Shade of it All

So in my last post, titled All T, All Shade, I have to admit I gave you guys all the shade but barely any T. The truth is I don't have power to talk about that girl's matter. That girl changed my life. Back then I thought it was in a bad way, but now I look at it as a good thing. She gave me my first real lesson on "Friendship. The remix". The bible says in Jeremiah 17.9 and I paraphrase, the heart of man is desperately wicked (close your mouth, a heathen can quote the bible too. Lol). That demon child was the definition of a wicked heart. When you set out to destroy someone who has been nothing but kind to you with such a viciousness that people don't even have for their sworn enemies, then you are just a direct descendant of Satan. Even Jesus or in this case Allah can't help you. Lies upon lies designed to ruin someone's reputation for no obvious reason.Word to the wise, beware of grade A frenemies, those things are master chameleons and can go undetected in your life for years. When you finally notice, it's almost like stage 4 metastasized terminal cancer. Write your will, say goodbye, dead less than 3 months after initial diagnosis type of malignant cancer. Insidious and vicious.

Moving on, I just realized that another "friend" has been throwing some major shade my way, but I have so oblivious it didn't register until this morning. So very recently this chic won for the second time in 5 years the award of most selfish, self centered, oblivious friend in the history of my life. The only reason I still interact with her is because of the small Christianity I have left in me. After the stunt she pulled a couple of weeks ago I decided she was dead to me but last week after she said hey to me on whatsapp, I decided to use my church mind and respond. We didn't have a fight or anything so she had no clue I had declared her anyway.

As the conversation went on we talked about her son and I asked when she was having number 2. I really couldn't care less, I was just making conversation. Her response to me was, "when are you having one?" I read the text and my left eyebrow involuntarily raised in confusion. Last time we both checked I am unmarried, unengaged and all types of single. Is it now the norm to ask people of that demographic when they are having kids? I would have thought the obvious shade would be asking when I was getting married. Anyway, before I could respond another text came in. 
"My mom was asking and I told her you could have a child without being married o! lol" Errmmm excuse you? Why are you telling your Nigerian mother that?! What sort of impression of me are you trying to give her? I don't even want to imagine the rest of that discussion. I mean, I'm not denying I've said that, because i say shit like that all the time especially since I'm very ambivalent about marriage but i don't see how that's her mother's business if she isn't trying to make me look bad. Not like i care. So i said, I'm still looking for an appropriate baby daddy, I don't intend to have a child with any random person, besides I'm not ready for a child,so not anytime soon. She was like "lol, I know". So if you know, why did you ask me when am I having one?

Then on Saturday, I got another WhatsApp message. "You and this your same hair style. Smiley face" I recently changed my profile pic. I responded and said "I accept free make overs". Abi wetin she want make I talk? Then she said, it's fine sha or you look good...... Fairer........Plus pluss minus minus.

I didn't really pay attention to her because since i'm not in show business I don't see why I should be changing my hair style up and down. I found a style of wig that suits my face which I get endless compliments on, why should I fix what's not broken. And NO! it's not the same wig. I actually switch between three different brands, similar styles. I get the hook up from the sister in ATL. I'm seriously resisting the urge to shave my head again as i'm ready to be wig free. For those of you who say why don't i just go around bald, I say you don't like me. Period. The End.

Anyway, this morning as I was washing my face, it just suddenly clicked that this chic said I was fairer and I panicked!!! I'll tell u why. Sometime in June, I had a severe attack of and by live alien pimples on my forehead. The aftermath was unslightly. I always get Clinique products for my birthday every year from my sister but my dark spot corrector had run out and since I had no intention of spending $46 on something  as small as my index finger I went to Walmart and got Equate dark spot corrector for $5.  So I have been faithfully using my cheap dark spot corrector since June but dark spots no gree fade. Thankfully my "hair" covers my forehead so it doesn't bother me too much and these things fade with time anyway, it just takes forever and ever.

So when it clicked that she said I was lighter, fear catch me because the only way i know people get lighter is either by bleaching or in the middle of winter. Since we are obviously not in the middle of winter and I have been using this el cheapo cream on my face everyday for at least 3months, I was scared that it had Dencia'ed my  face. Although I wasn't sure how it could do that and not fade the dark spots it was meant for. But i panicked!  So I put one hand against my face to compare, hand is darker than face. To make sure, I put both hands, I didn't want any film trick, same thing. My hands are still lighter than my freaking face.

I finally was able to breath and was like, that bitch!  I was seriously pissed cos that's when i realized this chic has been throwing major shade my way for a while now. All the shit she's been saying that I have overlooked just became clear.  I called my sister as I was driving to the hospital and vented. Then she sends me a text later in the day saying I see why she said what she said, your face is flawless. She's just jealous.  Everyone should have a sister!!! :) In case you are wondering I'm in between light and dark. My siblings range from very light skinned to light skinned to slightly dark,to dark.  I like to think i am more on the dark side, although I have noticed that I am lighter than some people I consider light skinned, but I don't consider myself light skinned. Don't ask me why.

To be on the safe side, maybe i need to double check that the el cheapo $5 Dove or St. Ives body lotions I typically use are not undercover bleaching creams. Anything is possible.
P.S. I just confirmed with a real life person that my face is actually darker than my arms. Bitch!!!

Mstcheewwwww. The Shade of it all.

Today, I told my Fellow that I'm not coming in on Wednesday. He didn't ask me why and I didn't offer an explanation.  I had one ready if he asked, although most (normal) people usually would say why they can't come in without being asked. I am pretty certain he thinks I have an interview that day but It's my birthday and I figured the service won't come to a grinding halt without me. (Thank God this blog is Anonymous or is it? Hmmm). Hey, last year I was on call and spent the whole day and night in the hospital. My senior was nice enough to let me sleep through the night in the freezing cave hole of a call room, but still..... I'm living it up while I can. It's not going to last forever. Very soon I would actually be responsible for shit and can't take the day off all willy nilly.

*The reason comments are disabled is because I don't want to be sucked back into blogging before I'm "ready" which I think will happen if i start interacting with you guys. Some very smart people have figured out a way around that and as you can see from this long epistle of a post (which I enjoyed writing by the way), I'm already being sucked back in. I'm not complaining.

You guys continue to amaze me. I got some unexpected emails this weekend that really surprised me, including one from a non blogger who remembered my birthday was around now although she couldn't remember the exact date and she just wanted to wish me a happy birthday. I'm getting emotional just thinking about it. For the last couple of years I somehow from somewhere got the impression that a lot of people who read my blog don't like me. This only worsened as time went on. I know i can be a hot head from time to time and I'm aware that doesn't exactly win fans but i can't be anyone other than myself. So people taking the time to email for whatever reason, means so much to me. When I read the comment Ms. Cookie left on New Dawn's blog, I really was surprised. Let's not even talk about New Dawn, na direct text message I dey get from her. Even before I started blogging again, I randomly get text messages from her just asking how I am doing and I just think she's the awesomest person ever!!!!

This is turning into a novel.  If you actually read this far, you need Jesus. LOL. I kid. But seriously, you might have a problem aka Amebo monitoring spirit. LOL.
Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

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