Sunday, November 14, 2010

Broken Heart

Looking for Tips on how to get over a broken heart? Read THIS

So lately i have been super interested in broken heart images. No my heart is not broken, i think it's the healthiest it's been in a long, long time. I haven't given it to anyone for safe keeping, i figured i can keep it safe all by myself. Thank you very much. I mean, dudes be dropping and breaking stuff all the time. I can't with all these clumsy ass mofos. I just can't!

I'm going to share some of the ones i really like with you guys. All images were gotten from google images. I especially love the emo ones. Some of them are really cute. Enjoy

This is how it starts o! They start off by begging you and stuff. Look at him, heart all ripped out and shit. Uh hum! You decide that since he gave you his, you might as well give him yours Mistake numero uno. Write that down. Just because a cute guy says he likes you doesn't mean you should get stars in your eyes and forget your common sense. He has to earn it and that takes time. Please don't talk to me about love at first sight. That's some bullshit right there. If you believe that, then i'm sorry to say you are a damn fool and you have no clue what LOVE really is.
And then, gen, gen, gen.....he goes and breaks your heart and is "nice" enough to give it back. Your tears as he hands the shattered pieces over, means nothing. In fact, what registers in his brain is that you are sweating from your eyes. As for why you are kneeling down with your hands clasped together and mumbling incoherently..... that's your own personal problem.
Heart break hotel. You see cry, you no fit cry. Eyes red, nose running, heart aching.

You can't sleep, you can't eat, you are distracted, you start to suffer from short term memory loss, you have unexplained chest pain and heart palpations, you do a lot of sweating from your eyes...... morning, noon and night. Any little thing that reminds you of him send you into a downward spiral. You begin to plot and scheme ways to get him back, until one day (It could be a week, a month, 6 months, or a year all depends on how far gone you are) you FINALLY get it (after countless hours of counseling by your friends), the idiot really meant it when he gave you the pieces of your shattered heart back.

Then the real pain sets in as you start to face reality

The pain is unbearable, made worse by the fact that you can't forsee an end to your suffering. You can't imagine a time when you will be normal again. In fact, you are willing to do anything to end the suffering, including trying to get him back.
Somebody, take this useless heart, i don't want it anymore. No, na your own, u can keep it. Shey na you give man wey break am, you no come want again? Carry your cross by yourself. It is well.....sorry.

Eyah! You still dey cry? Don't cry anymore. The guy was just an asshole. He didn't deserve you. I don't know what you saw in him in the first place. I hope you haven't been calling him o? What?!!! So you still called him again? When? How many times? 20 times?!! Back to back? Ermmm... I don't think you should keep doing that. That's some stalker type shit. Have you eaten today? Oya, go baff while i fix you a plate.... you kinda stink a little... well, maybe more than a little. Just get in the shower....Puhlease!

Sleep, wake up, cry, force yourself to eat, stare at your phone and will it to ring, look at the time, 30 more minutes to midnight, he might still call.....NOT!, be tempted to dial his number, dial it and hang up, curse yourself, call your BFF for the 100th time, more tears, rain curses on the dude....He's such a bastard. E no go better for am, sleep, sleep, sleep and more sleep.

After two weeks of not calling, you have a relapse and call him again and get your little heart broken all over again and this time the pieces are flung at you. No...he doesn't want your patch-patch heart. Is that a chic's voice you hear in the background.'ve been upgraded, downgraded, sidegraded or whatever helps you sleep better at night. You are butt hurt. Oh no, he didn't. Oh yes, he did. Trifling SOB!!!

You start to ask yourself, philosophical questions like what did i even see in that fool? He's not even that cute. What's the difference between a felony and a misdeamenor? Should i slash his tires or just pour sugar in his tank?
You also begin to have epiphanies..... Ah, so there really is a thin line between love and hate. And you finally admit to yourself, that yes, you do have stalker tendencies.
So the healing process starts over again. Love and longing is replaced by anger. If you are a hot blooded, vindictive mammal, you might be tempted to key his car or spray paint it with a few choice words. You have recurring thoughts of castrating him (to put it mildly). You finally agree with your girls, how much of an asswipe he is.

In time, you start to feel like your self again. You might have lost some weight, but you see that as a bonus for all the heart ache you've been through. I mean, if you had to get something out of this pain, you might as well come out looking hotter after all dating that sucker dashed you some extra lbs on ur midsection.
But something's missing. Deep inside, you are still a sad little puppy.

Remember that!!!
So while you are being handed the pieces of your broken heart, resist the urge to throw it right at dude's face cos you will need all the pieces when you hand it to the almighty heart patcher, to patch your broken heart. It will never be new and shiny again, the way it was before you gave it to the dude, but you would have some well earned battle scars. Just chuck it down to growing up and one of the life experiences you have to learn along the way and be careful who you give your heart to next time. Like i said earlier, dudes be clumsy and shit these days. So just don't go giving people your heart all willy nilly. Capice?


There really is a physiological reason for the way you feel when you are heart broken. 
Question: What is the best way to get over a  heart break?
Answer: As with all other difficult things in life, you grit your teeth and bear it. Time is the greatest cure for a broken heart. Everything that has a beginning will surely have an end. So put down that giant tub of strawberry cheese cake ice-cream, all that does is make you bigger.Well, exercise is good too, so eat away but be prepared to work it off.


  1. Awesome, light-hearted yet deep post. Like it, was worth a read.

    It had a comedy aspect to it too.

  2. This was hilarious (sorry i tend to laugh at things that should be taken a bit more seriously) and yet, with a beautiful message at the end :)

  3. This was hilarious (sorry i tend to laugh at things that should be taken a bit more seriously) and yet, with a beautiful message at the end :)

  4. Hmmmm 'sugar in his tank?'
    So maybe thats what she did to eh...

    lol jk.

    Welcome Back!!

  5. When you said, "No, he doesn't want your patch-patch heart," I just burst out laughing. So true. Rather than taking time to heal, we want to offer up patched hearts that haven't healed and learned important lessons.

    Break-ups are purposeful in a very subtle way. Some relationships are just not meant to be.

  6. Nice pictures but it was your commentary that made it all the more touching. heartbreaks are not easy but like you said, with time, and plenty of love for yourself and from others, healing comes.

    Great to read from you again.

  7. You probably didn't mean this to be funny, but it's hilarious! LOL thanks, i needed the laugh *and it's true too* :)

    oh and glad u're blogging again!

  8. this was funny, yet very true. We often jump from one heart break to the next. Welcome back.

  9. So interesting....but i laughed ooo.

  10. it's okay to laugh wasn't meant to be serious or funny. I just wrote what came to my head. I was only going to put the pictures, but as i attempted to caption them, it turned into this. Glad you guys like it. Enjoy!!!

  11. very interesting collection you have hear. i like the one where he breaks her heart by crushing it with his fingers in her face . its really close to the meaning of a heartbreak.
    follow me at

  12. Am I stone-hearted for finding this hilarious? I guess we'll call it morbidly hilarious. It's your fault, with all that commentary. Lol.

    Deep stuff though. *Snaps*

  13. "He has to earn it and that takes time." there is something simply awesome about that phrase.

    If he earns it, he will guard (& treasure) it.

  14. Thank you, rethots. What you added is so simple, and yet so deep.

    "If he earns it, he will guard (& treasure) it." So true.

  15. Brilliant post, laced with humour... Yet so true!

  16. Very insightful, true observations too. Well done, gripped me from start to finish, apt pictures too.

  17. wow. na wa oh. this was quite funny

  18. I loved this post, especially how you captured the emotions that many of us have witnessed or gone through.

    It greatly annoys me how crazy men can make me, especially guys that I'm not officially dating (yet). Sometimes it's just best to stay away from them for a while.

  19. Ohhhhh. Don't remind me. Sucks to be broken hearted oh! Funny how you don't remember it so well when you're the heart breaker.

  20. This is one post that you painstakingly wrote.
    I totally like it..
    Dare I ask,
    Is this the new you?
    Love the images too..
    They were well chosen...

  21. heartbreak is not a funny thing mehn...well written

  22. i have one philosophy that i use all the time

    "forget" them lol

    i wont say what i want to say because i know that you are a god fearing woman :-)

  23. So many comments to respond to....i'm so lazy :)

    @2cute4u: I wish i could say i painstakingly wrote this, but this post came as a result of me trying to caption the pictures. I'm glad you like it. As for this being the new me....something like that.

    Thanks for the comments guys. I promise to get on my responding to comments game very soon.

  24. Okay this is just too funny. But i do love the message at the end. Well said.

    PS: Your comment on the guy's post about ruggedman & 9ice at Jaguda made my day i swear. You are too funny!!! Lol.


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