Okay! After raising my nose at twitter and silently or not so silently vowing not to join, i have given in without any coercion. You can blame med school for that!!!! How? You ask. What does med school have to do with this new foolishness of yours. Welllllll........ you see, since i started med school in August, i have strangely become addicted to facebook. When facebook was still exclusive to college students, i refused to join. I hated it. I only joined after i graduated and have stayed there because of my friends in Nigeria. It helps me keep in touch with what's going on in their lives. Still i was never a big fan. I stopped all notifications from going to my personal email. For over a year, i never ever put up a status message. Facebook just wasn't my thing.
HOWEVER, since i started med school, i swear to God! I go on facebook at least 15- 20 times a day. Status updates or thoughts of status update is now a daily thing o! I can't believe it. I deactivated my account, but guess what? Those winches and wizards have now made it so easy to come back. How? All you have to do is sign back in and Voila, you are back on. No more reactivation confirmation emails and all that jazz. Mschewwww.... Enemies of progress, they want me to fail. If i want to use my little knowledge of psychology also known as my bachelors in psychology, i will say facebook has become an escape for me. An escape away from this........ what's a nice thing to call this? Med School PRISON!!!
Anyhoodle, i don't want to be putting all my business of facebook, and since i know i can't be updating this blog regularly cos i'm not inclined to and my mom keeps alluding to me keeping my business off the internet aka my blog, i have decided to join the twitter bandwagon. So if u read this blog and u slightly give a (care) about what is going on with me and u r on twitter, or not..... you can follow me onhttp://twitter.com/iwillsting I still don't know how stuff works cos i literally just created my account 5 mins ago. Oya o, come on over.
So was in school from 10am to 10.30pm yesterday, and i have been here since 9.30 this morning and i don't see myself going home until 10 or 11pm. I got slightly depressed for a minute. I subscribe to Joel Osteen's podcast (btw, did i tell u guys that med school makes u find God/religion pretty fast), so i decided to listen to today's message. All i can say is that man is a modern day genius. Chei! His message got me through almost failing Medical Genetics, and once again he came through today. I feel so much better and i have a brand new attitude to boot.
I remember when i first started school and someone (a classmate) told me to pray for God's guidance in studying or something like that, i actually laughed and said God has nothing to do with this. It has taken me less than a month to have a change of heart. God has everything to do with this. I don't see how anyone can get through this ordeal (sorry, experience) without any source of spiritual support. You can't know everything, there's too much to know. You have to have God in order to believe that he will make what you know sufficient so that you can have peace of mind and be able to sleep at night.
That's all folks. Remember to meet me over on twitter. I'm all alone and lonely, boo hu hu!!!
I'm thinking of going natural. I have four years to do it. I guess i'll just keep braiding my hair without relaxing and see how it goes. My hair is short anyway, cos i cut it real short in 2007 and only just stopped cutting it last May(?). Anyhoo, time to get back to studying.
Hmmmm.... shey all of u said i should be looking/thinking of the light at the end of the tunnel. Ok oh! I have called on Jehovah to come down (Chineke, biko gbadata!). Only God will help me in this voluntary prison i have sentenced myself to for four years. At least i passed Medical genetics. P=MD. Na so oh! I was begging for a pass at the end of the day. Wetin be honors for this one. I was failing the thing o! I dash them this one. Hopefully i will be able to do better on the rest. Although at the moment i am battling with my dreaded enemy BIOCHEM. We shall see.
So besides my jail sentence what has been happening? Stuff, more stuff and nothing at all. I am relationshipless. Which is not a bad thing cos i don't know what i was doing b4. My friend said something that cracked me the hell up. She said "Money doesn't buy love, but it's a good down payment". I love her. We keep each other going. It would have been tough going through this alone. Right now she(we) are on the hunt..... point and kill. LOL. I can't explain. Random. I know!
Med school don tire me. I want my old life back, and the first thing i will do when i get it is pack my things and go to Nigeria and go and marry some rich Alhaji and be his 4th and favorite wife. No need. Case closed!
By the way, i paid someone $200 to torture me on Sunday o! It was not a small something. Shey when they said i should braid my hair in Atlanta, i refused abi. I was like, no oh, i want to take care of my hair and wash it every week. I went to be buying hair product like i own a salon. Hmmm..... Story! Mumu oshi! I didn't know what i was getting into. After stress and probably formaldehyde from those cadavers have made half the hair on my head fall out in less than a month, and tying my hair to school during exam week looking like someone's village wife, nobody told me to go braid my hair. The winch i went to decided to kill me in the process. $200 for me to now have boils on my head. It's almost like she was trying to braid my brain with the hair. I can't even shout. Nobody sent me message.
I'm going to bed jo! I have a date with my cadaver abi na body donor tomorrow. I HATE anatomy lab by the way. I have tried, but Mba. It's not for me. I don't want to be a surgeon, so if i never touch the body, that is fine with me. I think i've only dissected twice or three times since we started a month ago, and that's just for eye service make dem no talk say i never touch cadaver. We started face and neck this week, all this while we had the face covered so i hadn't see my donor's face. Some other groups looked at theirs before hand, but i wasn't in a hurry. Why? Anyway, so we uncovered her face..... hmmmmm! I have seen things in my life. Shey i said i wanted to go to medical school. Oya now, come and go.
This woman's face has been haunting me o! I was driving and i saw someone that looked like her. Ask me how? I don't know. Body that had her mouth open in one kind of scary manner. I keep seeing her face in my head and it is scary cos she looks dead. lol. Sorry. I think i have PTSD. At least i can diagnose myself with that one. I'm traumatized. Underneath the human face has a lot of fat and it's disgusting and our lady is skinny as hell. We are taking out the brain tomorrow. That should be fun! Drama! Maybe na tomorrow i go faint the faint wey i wan faint since. LOL..
It's generally not that bad sha! Half the time i'm in there i'm thinking of food cos i'm usually hungry. Maybe formaldehyde makes me hungry or it's the boredom of standing around for 2 hours doing nothing. My group members already know i'm not a cutter so they don't even bother asking me. The only other girl in my group might as well be a vestigial organ. She doesn't even bother to show up these days. At least i still try to show my face and leave as early as possible, which is right before they need people to wash the tools. You used it, wash it!
Play time is over. Thanks for the comments on my previous posts. The encouragement is appreciated. I just need to vent and then i'll feel better. No, i don't delete my posts, i just take them down. My OCD is worrying me, that's y ;)
I miss u Lenie. I love u, my little puppy. You better remember me when i see u in Dec. if not, wahala go dey o! People still dey chop dog meat for Calabar.
3 weeks in! Our first block of exams is coming up Tuesday and Wednesday next week.
My high stress levels have refused to allow me to sleep, so i guess i'll just write down my thots on adjusting to med school so far. It's nothing like i expected. I don't think u can even anticipate how hard it's going to be. How do you quantify HARD to someone who has not gone through the process?
Anyhoo, here's Adjusting to Med School according to STING
Your house becomes just a place to sleep in and take showers - You would sleep in school if it was allowed. The gym has showers. Hmmm......
You mentally get dibs on a quiet study room that has the right temp (suprisingly, the rooms don't all have the same temperature) - Sleeping in on weekends (forget Weekdays) is never an option because you have to gun for that room.
You turn the room into a mini parlor, complete with couch, bootleg coffee table, blanket or wrapper and a teddy bear for comfort (One of the study rooms has a couch, and everyone wants that room. My friend guns for that room like crazy. It used to be "my room" but i stopped gunning for it cos the temp is not exactly right-i like it hot)
Eating healthy and exercising becomes a very distant/hazy memory - You are perpetually at risk for food poisoning, because amongst other things you keep taking that same yogurt to school, forgetting to eat it, and taking it back the next day only to repeat the same process - You find that you might forget to eat or not have time to eat with all the bullshit you have to do.
Your ears totally perk up at the sound of free food - Great motivation for attending those organization meetings (Did i tell u my school is awesome? M1's had free lunches for the first 2 weeks of class)
You push shame to the side and grab 2 boxes of Panera bread and a whole box of pizza (you snooze, you lose). That's lunch for a week right there.
You feel stupid for refusing to braid your hair in Atlanta. 10 mins for hair styling every morning is an eternity. Washing it every week? Puhlease!
Getting up to pee while studying becomes an undesirable chore. Precious seconds are being wasted while peeing. Chop, chop, there's pages to be read.
You find you have to pee A LOT. Uh hum! Caffeine does that to ya!
Your ill conceived idea of going at it "naturally" is thrown out the window before the first week is over. You pick your poison - FAST! Coffee, Tea, Mountain dew, Coke, Pepsi, Red bull, Monster. It doesn't matter, pick one or a combination.
You perfect the act of the 10 min nap - You have to be very careful though as that can turn into a 15, 20 or 30 min nap instead - Sleepiness becomes your arch nemesis
You find your "happy place" pretty quickly and you just might have to conjure it from time to time - Ummmm.....like everyday.
Even though you resisted all these years, you find yourself addicted to Facebook. Gasp! It's your only quick escape. It takes a second to click, click... the next thing you know you've been there for 15 minutes. DEACTIVATE... click! Sharp, sharp!!!!
You pepper inappropriate cadaver jokes in everyday conversation - You wonder if judging people in terms of their cadaver potential is weird. (eg. Today, i saw a picture of a Nigerian artiste(who shall remain unnamed) who is ripped to the core. Before, i would have drooled over him instead the first thing i said was "He will make a good cadaver". Go figure. I just might be traumatized by the experience)
You start to think 24 hours a day is too short. These people must be crazy for expecting you to learn ALL these stuff in such a small amount of time.
Sleep becomes a luxury you are afraid of indulging in - You can no longer remember what peaceful sleep feels like- You wake up at least 3 times a night for no apparent reason(to check the time)
TV. Television. (Real Housewives of Atlanta) What is that?!!!!!!
You no longer have need for your alarm - You are up and dressed before it rings.
You wholly embrace the school of thought that crying relieves stress. It does. Ask me.
You thank God for giving you a friend who is just as crazy as you. Laughter relives stress also. Craziness!
You miss your dog something fierce - It is almost a physical pain. It really is. I misssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss you, Lenie! Dog of my life.
*** These are MY thoughts. Not everyone is going through the same thing the same way (like i said, i have classmates having parties, going to bars, playing softball and what not). I am still adjusting. I am looking to find a balance. I need good food, sleep, exercise and play. On that note, we are going drinking the night after exams are over. I'll be an alcoholic by the time 4 yrs is over.
The thought of Van Vicker makes me smile......... most random shit ever!
Back to the grind. Med school will not kill me. This is hardest thing i've ever done. The adjustment is killing me, but i know i'll get there. Slowly but surely. Now if only i can manage to not fail Medical Genetics.
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