Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Hairless

A couple of people have questioned the veracity of my assertion that melu melu means cow in hausa(I bet u didn't think i could use big words. Ha!).Well, i wouldn't bet my life on it. I've always known melu melu meant cow, i never bothered to figure out the origin of the word. I asked my mom who speaks Hausa fluently and she said it's a hausa word. So that's how i know, ok pple! Don't be questioning her majesty like that. She might get mad and say off with ur heads.


On to the topic of the day. Ladies, this question is for u and i expect nothing but the honest TRUTH. No white lie, pink lie or blue lie! How many of u used to shave ur legs and armpits before u left naija? For those ladies that are in naija, how many of u shave (ur legs especially) and if you do how often do u shave? This issue has become a bone in my throat and it was made very apparent a few nights ago. I'll tell u how/why.


Now before i came to the US (if i had gone to Jand now, i would have said b4 i janded. So since America is Yankee, can i say before i yanked?!!! LOL), i only used to shave my pits, and that wasn't even regularly oh! I'm one of those hairy pple both on my arms and legs, but it never occurred to me to SHAVE. The very first time shaving legs came to my notice was in 2000 when my sister came to naija after being away for 10yrs. She had this shaving gel thingy and some razors. I say wetin be this (what is this?). Still, i didn't start shaving then oh. I didn't see the need. No girl i knew in naija shaved her legs. I would see chics who were 10X hairier than me on campus with skirts and hairy legs. To be honest, it wasn't even something worth noticing.



Fast forward to Yankee, i come here and everyone is going crazy in their quest to become hairless. Bikini wax, anal wax, brow wax, front wax, back wax, anything wax, electrolysis, name it, people have jumped on that bandwagon. The hairs on my legs are thick and curly, so if i don't shave it's not a pretty sight (anymore, b4 i liked it. That's was just the way it was). The first couple of times i shaved, i was like, what's the point of all this. I would let it grow back because i was more comfortable with hair on my legs. I felt weird with hairless legs. I always wore pants anyway, so it wasn't like pple were looking at me crazy. Na only me dey see my legs. Then i got used to shaving and slowly started getting uncomfortable with hair on my legs. That one no do me, I come crase carry go shave the hair on my arms. Well, i naired it off! I felt like a plucked chicken. I had these weird ass goose bumps all over my arms. It was just disgusting. That's when i said, fuck u hairless female country. I will keep my hairy arms, thank u very much! I have never shaved my arms since that fateful day in 2003



Now shaving my legs is another issue. I have never gotten into the habit of doing that regularly. The only problem is that i now feel disgusted whenever i see my own hairy legs. See wahala. Does that prompt me to shave, NO! I only shave when it has become a forest or i need to wear something that would show my legs which is not very often. So i have been happily carrying on this practice for years. A couple of days ago there i was in all my bushy/hairy glory (one of the benefits of being single), although it had gotten to the point where i was starting to get irritated by my legs but i really couldn't be bothered to shave. That is until i had a nightmare about it. I dreamt that i had to go somewhere at the last minute and i had nothing else to wear but shorts. So there i was out in public with my hairy legs. What kind of nonsense dream is that? What is really bothering me is the fact that i was worried about the hair on my legs enough to dream about it.


You know what is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO unfair? Guys get to go around with their hairy armpits and their hairy legs and hairy chests and hairy backs without it being an issue. That is so wrong on so many levels. The one that is killing me is the trend of bikini wax which suggests to me that men are now getting used to women without hair down there. So we are now all have to look like prepubescent kids just to conform (Well, another benefit of being single, i no follow una do that one). Hmmm...... Another question. Has anyone ever shaved down there and had to ENJOY the itch when the hair is growing back? That is torture on so many levels. I don't even want to talk about it cos i think i'm still suffering from post traumatic stress disorder because of that shit.

I really don't think it's fair that somebody somewhere decided that women should be hairless and men can walk around with their disgusting hairy armpits with no problem. We have all foolishly accepted that nonsense and i am so pissed that i have bought into that culture. Now i can't even stand to look at hair on my leg with wondering when i'll have time to shave. It's just plain stupid.

After all this ranting and raving will i stop shaving, no oh! I never said that. If u like say Sting said we shouldn't follow senseless trends and don't shave. You are on ur own oh!

P.S. I regret to announce the untimely death of Stingess. That shit did not fly. Re-introducing her royal highness, the one and only Sting of blogville. Thank u very much!

27 comments:

  1. lol, I never used to shave regularly before i yanked, i only shaved my armpits.

    I shave my legs once in a while especially during the summer, and I just let the monkey in me come out during the winter. I need it for the heat, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

    I remember having an argument about shaving arms with some of my friends at a professional conference(dont know if anybody overheard us). I think if you are hairy, you should shave ur arms. If you're not so much hairy, you can get away with it.

    I like moderately hairy guys. chest hair is soo sexy, but if you look like a chimpanzee, that's an ultimate no-no. No bama!

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  2. I'm blessed with almost no hair on my legs (arms na another story). In fact, the first time I shaved my legs to be cool like my oyinbo classmates, I sliced off a disgusting amount of skin (and have the to show for my folly, 17 years later). Nowadays I shave maybe twice or three times a year and stay pretty smooth that way.

    Because of how armpit hair (even as short as 1/8th of an inch) can trap smells, I think everyone, men and women, should look into shaving their armpits. It would cut down on the body odour, for sure!

    About this bikini wax business-I don't like pain so I don't see it in my future.

    I chalk up women having to do all this as just another thing we have to deal with, right along with menstruation and childbirth :)

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  3. Babe! U don Kolo men. You had me seriously laughing my black ass off. WELCOME BACK STING. You know whats weird, I dont have hair. the hair down there has been the same length for as long as I can remember. The armpit hair never grows and the leg and arm hair also never grows enough for it to be noticed. However, I like that bare feeling so I shave only my arms and legs alone. I wear a lot of bracelets so I cannot abide arm hair. But una no worry o jare, love your hairy sef!

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  4. I am in Nigeria and I shave my underarms and legs. My under arms when I want to wear sleeveless tops and my legs when I want to wear mini skirt or dress. Wax is a no no for me

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  5. it cos i LOL@ Stingess….anyways I like guys with hair on their chest, I don’t mind a little hairy underarms as long as deodorant is used but like Bumight said no chimpanzees

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  6. Why the heck would anyone shave their arms??

    People shave less in nigeria cos we aren't as obsessed with physical perfection as the States. Fact. But, I confess I shave... well, most places, like my legs. Mostly because i shaved once and it keeps coming back real bad.

    I shave cos its neater-looking. Waxing seems too extremist to me. And I find it offensive frankly when I see a guy that doesn't keep his pits trimmed. It's like keeping an unkempt beard.

    As for the prebuscent lady-bits... I'm not a fan of that either. You don't want to lose kitchen appliances in it, but at the same time, you don't want to look like an 8 yr old. I'm yet to hear of the guy that didn't do it with a girl because she wasnt waxed clean. They should get over it.

    And I don't think i want to see a purely shaved guy... actually... that wont be bad. I hate chest hair.

    Done rambling, off to shave my legs.

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  7. Thank God i dont belong to the hairy girls association,lol! My body is as hairless as they come except for you know where,lol!

    I used to shave down there and have had to endure the itch until I discovered hair removal cream which i use now and it comes with no itch and bumps.

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  8. lmao at your post...
    the hair on my legs never used to grow, was just one of those naturally smooth types , although now it has remembered how to and slowly but surely im considering nair :(

    im mourning stingess. gone too soon lol

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  9. I am not hairy but I kinda like been hairless. I also use body oil which makes the appearance of hair less noticeable.

    I live in 9ja and I have been shaving since I was 15.

    Haven't shaved my arms in a long time sha. But my arm pit? Regularly.

    I used to go hairless down below before but I just got tired of the discomfort when it starts to grow back so now I just do the bikini line.

    I hate waxing it is simply too painful. I think women are crazy to do it.

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  10. This is definitely a post for women. All this hair talk is doing me somehow.
    Why am I even commenting sef? You put jazz for that proposal?

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  11. "...You know what is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO unfair? Guys get to go around with their hairy armpits and their hairy legs and hairy chests and hairy backs without it being an issue..."

    I still cannot comprehend this. Why?

    I like how clean shaved parts of the body look so I shave. It feels a bit hygeinic even though I keep telling myself that "If God thought it was bad, HE would not have bothered giving us hair".

    But I do not shave my legs because I am a bit hairless there. The only time I tried to shave, the hairs grew longer so I resolved not to shave my legs again.

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  12. oh...lmao at the feeling u get wen u shave down there...oh the torture!

    neva shaved before i yanked, there was barely any hair on my leg. But its too much hassle jare...if i had hair, i wld leave it.

    havent u noticed that more you shave, the faster and longer it grows...so annoying!

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  13. at least be happy u r not one of those ladies who have beards and have to shave, and then they get sideburns....!

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  14. Omg are you serious???? I shaved, waxed, creamed. You name it, I used it to get rid of bodily hair. And this was while I was in secondary school. How could you NOT??????

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  15. stingess is dead already?? why am i not surprised.. it just didnt fit ur personality to me.. but i held my peace.. so melu melu is a hausa word?? hmm.. i wonder how it is pronounced..lol.. am stressing it ba??.. ok i have let go.. truth be told not a lot of people shaved befored they 'abroaded' wherever they are.. lol.. i onli used to shave my armpits too.. my legs like 2wice in my life.. but now.. i do it often enough not as frequently as i like cos its a lot of work..

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  16. ok..sis! i tagged u! yeah i was bored and started a game with u in it...i tagged u! follow the link...

    http://toluwa.blogspot.com/2008/10/two-truths-and-lie-you-have-been-tagged.html

    have fun!

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  17. I hit puberty in the US where we've always shaved lol I found it strange women walked around with hair when I got to Naija.

    I think it's more of a femine odor thing. Don't we because of our hormones emit more funk than men with hair??

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  18. I used to shave my pits n legs b4 i left naija..my closest friend back in one of my high skuls came to skul one day with her legs all smooth n hairless, that was what made me start shavin my legs..oh yea, that itch down there..dang! But theres no itch if hair removal cream/gel is used..

    Finally the confusion is gone..R.I.P. Stingess.. *bows head with respect*

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  19. I left Naija quite young, so I had no visible hairs I could shave even if I wanted to, but I think I would have shaven if I grew up there because all my older cousins did at the time and I am sure I would have followed suit.

    I remembered when I was in boarding school in Nigeria, girls prided having hairy legs, I remember, a senior pouring alcohol in her lotion – a remedy to help her get hairy arms and legs.

    You don’t need to shave regularly the winter. At least stay off shaving 4 days to a week. Did you shave down there? If you just trim it, you won’t get the itch

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  20. Welcome back STING!!!

    Yes about this shaving of a matter, hmm, me too, i have always been an armpit shaver oh, but now ihave joined the leg shavers, but usually for special occasions.

    I totally hate the fact that guys are allowed to be hairy tho!

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  21. u r very funny!!!!

    am pretty hairy myself. i used 2 shave my legs every week but it got boring. now i only shave my armpit & down there wen MM is in town or wen i know am going to lagos. b4 him, i shave wen i look @ myself & think now daz too bushy. well, am in naija. so maybe d rules r diff here

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  22. I never shaved in naija and I barely do it here. I don't wear skirts/dresses very often so one or twice in the summer, I might shave. I av shaved my arms b4 and it's not so bad. Down there, I shaved once and never again.

    It gives me the creeps whenever I see women with hairy legs. Although I don't shave much, I make sure I do it when I have to wear something that will show my legs.

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  23. PS. I dunno why u bothered to change from Sting. I like Sting. and ur new template.

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  24. I like sting. Glad you changed back. And I'm digging this new template. I thought I'd left a comment on this post b4? Where is it?

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  25. I'm lucky I'm practically hairless on my arms and legs. I've never shaved those ever cos there's no hair on them. The other bits...very rarely cos it hardly grows too. But I get hair for head o:D

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  26. Hello I'm a 27 year old blonde male.Here's my experience on this subject I have a lack of body hair. Downstairs I have very short very sparce blonde pubes. Very small triangle.Women have told me this.
    My legs and thighs are completely hairless.Not even 1 little hair.I just never grew any.Every female i've been with has had hairier legs.
    My last girlfriend Marie was hispanic, 22yrs old and she had very hairy legs.I was shocked at all her hair and asked her to shave.She said she had very sensitive skin and it causes her problems.She said she was used to it and liked it.It bothered me but I let it go.
    One day during this past summer we just finished swimming and sat down.Marie was looking at my legs and said,you really have no hair on your legs and your a guy,that's strange.
    She put her leg next to mine and laughed saying just look at how much hairier my legs are than yours and I'm a girl.She started teasing me.I was surprised by her actions.She said I had the baldest legs she ever saw on a guy.She rubbed her leg on mine and said don't you wish you had hairy legs like me.Just look it's hard not to compare seeing how much hairier my legs are.I didn't know until now, with the sun shining, that your legs and thighs were so smooth and with no hair at all.
    Marie was proud of her legs.She said I had the legs of a bikini model and they were on the feminine side.One other female also told me I had girly legs.She was embarrassed by my hairless legs and didn't want me to wear shorts because other females would say I have feminine legs.
    She pulled a hair off of her leg and put it on mine and laughed that I had hairy legs.
    I was so embarrassed seeing her hairy leg and looking at the 1 hair she put on mine.My leg looked so damn hairless. I remember thinking, god, look at how hairy her legs and thighs really are.I wished I had her hairy legs.
    It was hard not to compare our legs and she really flaunted her legs.She was a show-off the way she was rubbing and touching both our legs.
    Even her 12 year old sister had hair all over her skinny legs.We did break up and that had a lot to do with it.
    I am jealous of women who have hairy legs and even those that shave them because they still have hairier legs than me.In every relationship I wonder what she'd think of my legs because the odds are she will have hairier legs than me. I am all for a woman shaving their legs everyday so her legs would be as hairless as mine.Unfortunately, most hate to shave in the winter and end up with hair.
    Is hairless legs on a guy OK with females? Would it bother you if your legs were hairier than a guys? Are my legs considered feminine by females? This was a weird experience for me and my legs played a part.

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  27. looking like chewbacca is not delicate. you wanna look delicate naa abi? now for dudes, chewbacca does not necessarily look good, but a cross between chewbacca and a peruvian hairless is attractive for some girls...mostly girls who would like to grow a fur but cant because...erm...they want to be chics! lmao! they say it gives you a rugged look!

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