Sunday, November 29, 2015

Community

I'm on call tonight. I can never sleep when i'm on call and my post call day is always a wasted day. My mood is just mehhh.... I finally finished all my clinic notes. I had one still left over from 2 weeks ago (real bad joe jackson) and had only done 2 from this week. It feels good to be done with notes and inbasket messages. One of my patients has almost driven me to drink. I swear down. Deep breaths.....

I feel generally uneasy right now. Life is just blah. Hopefully I can get in with zee therapist sometime soon. I hadn't wanted to have to make the drive to see him, but i think i need to. I have to get the mind polished. Med school did this to me. Sighhhhh...... Anxiety and depression. None of them are angry right now, but the depression seems to be mildly irritated, so i have to take care of it.

I didn't get the magnitude of what was going on with Sugabelly's story until last night when i was on Stella, then BellaNaija. I've been blogging since 2007 and have read Sugabelly's blog since 2007 or 2008. This story is not new to me or anyone who has been reading Sugabelly's blog. The fact that it has turned into this scandal right now is because the wicked do not go unpunished and Karma was waiting for the right time to strike. It's just unfortunate that she has to deal with this with the whole naija watching.

One of the things that stuck out to me was the dude saying Sugabelly was a blogger with a failing blog or a blog that wasn't doing well (i don't remember his exact words)and was doing this for the attention. I laughed. Sugabelly is one of the last few old time naija bloggers who still blog. I don't think she qualifies as a "blogger" in that sense which to most Naija people mean  a gossip, entertainment, news blogger a la Linda Ikeji. This is one of the main reasons I chose not to monetize my blog and go in that direction. This is just my space in the internet for me to do as i please. I don't ever want to be bothered about traffic, content, audience and what not. I'm not here for that. Although, I have been referred to as a failed blogger by an Ignoramus on a certain blog that shall remain nameless. Not everyone who blogs is looking for money or fame. This is just an outlet for me to share my thoughts.

 At a time like this, I really miss no longer having that community of naija bloggers who blogged to connect and look for each other because that is what Sugabelly needs right now. I am so concerned about her well being. Behind the screen is a real human being and I am very worried about her. Yes, I have reached out to her but I'm just one person. She needs to be enveloped in love and support right now, because this can't be easy for her. This is not what anyone would want the whole Nigeria to know her for.At least before, she was just Sugabelly, now her legal name is out for the world to see. Anonymity completely blown. Even the strongest person would be affected by this.  You all know how judgmental we can be, although i have been encouraged by comments on Bellanaija and Stella. Fear no let me go Nairaland, I can only expect a shit show over there. Madam Linda Ikeji has been noticeably silent on this issue. I don't have power to talk about that ones matter right now.

Put aside your judgement and remember you are dealing with a human being. As for me, I make no judgments, we all have our shit, some people are just better at hiding it than others. I pray that Sugabelly is able to rise above this and become the person she was put on this earth to be. This is one of the instances in which it helps to say "everything happens for a reason". Don't let life break you, don't let them win.

10 comments:

  1. Hey love, that makes two of us that need some mind polishing. Wish you the best with that and all the strength to you. You're a beautiful human being, although we haven't met in person it shows in your blog. You deserve the best. Much love your way xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey love, that makes two of us that need some mind polishing. Wish you the best with that and all the strength to you. You're a beautiful human being, although we haven't met in person it shows in your blog. You deserve the best. Much love your way xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sugabelly needs all the love and support from everyone around her...the story is just sad and the dude is just an entitled man with sense at all.

    I pray she comes out victorious with this our messed up justice system.

    Aunty Linda is unlooking because Sugabelly has threatened her a number of times. I am surprised she is not even carrying the story as this would have driven mad traffic to her site.
    'Lara

    ReplyDelete
  4. That crack about Sugabelly being a failed blogger stuck out to me too. I was just kinda like...huh? I think Sugabelly's blog was the first blog i've ever read in life. Before i even knew what a blog was and long before i thought of starting a blog of my own. I don't play on twitter or even around the blogosphere much so reading her blogpost was the first i knew of this whole matter. Its truly disgusting how people have reacted. If you don't believe her, then sit down and mind your business. Like you said, behind every screenname, twitter avi, or handle- there is a human being. With feelings, experiences, emotions...ugh. people make me so mad. I too hope that she is staying positive in all this.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I wish I could reach out to her too. But then I haven't blogged in tears not sure if she will remember me. Also I imagine she is getting shit load of mails and calls now

    I said a prayer for her and I hope she can get closure finally

    ReplyDelete
  6. The whole issue is what made me log back into blogger.

    I used to read her blog then as well, it's not a new story at all.

    It's all just really sad, I hope she also has physical support around her. I also pray her family remains safe in all of this.

    As for the dude...no words at all.

    I think Linda is quiet because she isn't meant to post any stuff related to sugabelly on her blog anymore after what happened between them.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i'm surprised as well that Linda didn't post any stuff related to Sugabelly. She needs all the Love and Support she can get.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The part about her wanting to write a book and start an NGO was the one that got to me. Like, really??? Interestingly, it was one of those rape issues that led me to her blog the first time (around 2010/2011) because she wrote so passionately about it and i was curious. The guy is obviously stupid.

    I reached out to her as well and i hope she finds all the love and help she needs. A lot of people just dislike the fact that she will not be silenced which is crazy. I remember calling out a friend who was saying some stuff about her shortly after the Audu guy died. I had to send him one of her old posts from 2007 so he'll get it; that was before she decided to write about the whole thing even. Sugabelly needs a lot of love and support and thanks to her, a lot of people are sharing their stories and that's is a huge improvement.

    Another thing, even if Linda didn't post the story directly, there were several ways she could have contributed to the discourse. Rape/assault is something we need to constantly talk about. That culture of silence needs to be smashed. Almost every female i know has been assaulted and we all shrug and move on like its nothing. It's not nothing. It needs to stop. A friend of mine told me she was assaulted at 15 and could not blame the person that assaulted her. Imagine.

    Let me go before i write a post on here. The issue is super-sensitive.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you so much for writing this and for calling me, Sting. I got into bed and cried after you hung up. The past two weeks have been incredibly difficult for me. I really miss having that old community too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. @doll and @ladyNgo and everyone else. I DO remember all of you. I have all your blogs subscribed in my Feedly. I'm so behind on posts to read but I'm so grateful for all of you and following all your blogs, and walking your paths with you through your blogs. I miss you guys.

    ReplyDelete

Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

  © Blogger template Writer's Blog by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP