Tuesday, December 30, 2014


Very few people have had the title of best friend in my life. We could be very close and i still wouldn't think or refer to you as my best friend. I'm not typically a best friend kind of person especially with females. Haven attended two all girls secondary schools, by the time i was done I was one of those chics who didn't/wouldn't/couldn't have close female friends. My close friends were 98% guys. Back then i would never dream of confiding in a chic. That changed as i got older and some of my close like family friends have been female.

In the last few years I have "lost" a good number of my guy friends. As soon as they enter into serious relationships i start to give them space, once they are married, in my mind the friendship is pretty much over. This is just my personal stance on it. It's just out of respect for myself and my friend's wife. I no want married people wahala at all.

When my closest guy friend in America got engaged his fiancee decided to go crazy and eliminate all real or perceived threats. My blood still dey hot those days and they got me on a day where I was not in the mood so i wasn't very diplomatic in my approach to the madness. She got exactly what she wanted which is for him not to have anything to do with me. My friendship with this guy was a million percent innocent, i never set eyes on him the whole time he was in america before he met her. I was very cool with his ex who is an actual human being and not the devil's incarnate.  I knew when he met, toasted, bought an engagement ring and even gave him ideas on how to propose to the witch. I guess, trying to prove to her our friendship was platonic/innocent, he set me up where he put her on the phone without my knowlegde and asked me if i would ever date him. I said no and he insisted on knowing why i couldn't date him, I said because he was like my brother which was the truth. I had never viewed him as an option to date. That was still not enough for the chic. She got on the phone and told me she felt disrespected. See confusion. I had never spoken to this chic prior to that day. Where and how did this disrespect occur?

Apparently, i called him one day and yelled at him and she was there and that was me disrespecting her because that's her fiance and i don't have the right to demand that he should have let me know when he got back into the country. LOL. It's funny now, but back then i was so pissed. I had an exam the next week and the whole scenario was ridiculous and was the last thing i needed to be dealing with because it was so baseless. The conversation she was referring to was a 2 min conversation conducted in pidgin english where i called to make sure he was back safely from Nigeria. This was 3 days after he was supposed to be back and i called him 3 days prior and never heard back. So that evening i remembered i still hadn't heard from him, called him and asked if he didn't see i called him, why didn't he call back to let me know he got back safely. He said he had been busy, i said okay i just wanted to make sure he was back and went back to studying.

How this got turned into me disrespecting a rat that would probably not be bold enough to come speak to me in real life, i will never know. Am i psychic to know she was sitting next to him while he took my 2 minute call? She had never liked that i would comment on his pictures in pidgin (she's a non-pidgin english speaking hispanic) and i was always teasing him about something (back when i was still on facebook). She knew we were very close friends and even started her tirade by saying that she knows i am his closest friend in America. Long story short, after the dust from that madness had settled, my dear friend cut me off o, like completely. Radio silence. I wasn't kidding when i said he was like my brother. It took two years for me to start feeling hurt because for the first two i was so mad at him for being a punk.

Anyway, since then once my guy friends get engaged or married the friendship is over in my head. I don't even want to be hi hello friends with them. It's different with my married female friends. Our friendship stays pretty much the same. Not very close.

 There are two guys in the history of my life who i consider my best friends and vice versa. One i've known since 1996 and the other since 2000/2001. These are my ride or die people. Two weeks ago i got a whatsapp message in the middle of the night from one of my best friends in Nigeria, the one person besides my brother who knows how to handle my anger (especially back in the day when my crase was at its peak). Rain or shine, he's someone i can 100% say will do anything in his power just to make me happy. This is one person who i know has my back 24/7. The text message read "I'm getting married Dec 26th". I just looked at the message and went back to sleep. I thought i was dreaming. The next evening i remembered the  message and checked and saw that this guy really sent me a text. I re-read it and got pissed! Like, stupidly, pissed in a way that made no sense.

First time I heard of this chic was on October 29th, my birthday. He was sharing the news of him dating someone. I was like cool. He was supposed to get married last year but things didn't work and he was messed up for a while. He said he didn't think he would ever get married after that. Story for the gods. We haven't talked since my birthday and the next thing i'm hearing is that he is getting married. Color me confused and shocked. Na so dem dey marry for naija? I was just mad, upset, angry, mad and mad at him. He even got his dad to talk to me because i was mad at him and after the dad told me they approved of the chic and he thinks he made a right choice, compared to the disaster of last year (his words not mine) i sort of calmed down but that didn't last. I just get angry thinking about the way he told me and how fast everything went.What kind of crappy friend tells their so called "best friend" that they are getting married less than 2 weeks before. I'm sitting here thinking when did you meet this one? When did it became marriage serious and why am i getting informed through a stupid text message?

No, she's not pregnant (time will tell). He said it started like a joke, then he ran with it and he didn't know how to tell me. The wedding was even supposed to be earlier than the 26th because his dad wanted that but he pushed it back. Talk true. I guess he would have told me the day of or after the fact. Dem they see like that. I am very angry. On his wedding day, being the devil that i am, i sent him a text saying merry christmas, happy married life, happy new year and happy birthday (his birthday is right after new years). Have a nice life, our friendship is officially over. (paraphrased)

Am i being ridiculous? Yes......
Am i being irrational? Maybe yes.......
Am i being immature? Very much so.....

But i'm just angry in a way i can't fully understand or even articulate. No, i don't want him for myself. If i did we would have been married years and years ago.  I feel like he didn't give me enough warning to prepare myself for the end of our friendship as i know it. This is someone i could call any time of the day or night. I can't do that anymore because that would be disrespectful to his wife and i like to respect myself. I needed more time to adjust to this change because it is a huge one for me. No one respects marriage more than me (which is why i would never enter into it lightly if at all), so personally don't think i should continue to be his best friend after he is someone else's husband. Plus if i am really his best friend like he says, i would have known about this blossoming relationship as it was happening and not just be blindsided by a wedding date 2 weeks prior. He called me yesterday and i didn't answer. I feel like i'm being immature but i just can't help myself. Besides, isn't he supposed to be on his honeymoon, what is he calling me for? Mscheeewww!

I answered him today because i was trying to stop being a bitch about the whole thing, but I'm in full bitch mode already and I just couldn't snap out of it. He gained a wife and I lost a best friend without proper warning. I am allowed to be in my feelings. My other best friend called me today randomly and i made sure to warn not to try that madness. He was like, we already talked about this, I bring her to you to vet and approve before anything can happen. I was like eh hen, you still have sense. LOL. I'm just a fool.

To all those of u winches thinking I should go and find my own husband, I say NO!  Wetin consign u? Besides, it would take a miracle for me to find a man I would want to marry. Miracle! Most men are animals. To make matters worse, most Nigerian men are wild animals. Quote me!

*Post 999* Pat on the back, Sis!

Tomorrow's post on  Dec 31st would be the 1000th post of this blog. Epic things. 
Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

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