Saturday, July 16, 2011

Let's dissect

No, not cadavers......issues. There are two interesting FB statuses i saw today that caught my attention.

  • Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it is a waste of time.There are too many mediocre things in shouldn't be one of them.......
When i saw this first one, fear catch me. At first glance it might seem romantic and awwww worthy but in my mind, mad, passionate, and love don't go together. I believe it's too much passionate love that leads people to kill themselves and their spouses when things are not going well. There was a case in Atlanta yesterday where a man killed his estranged spouse and then himself when she came to pick up the kids. This is so common in the US i can't even count how many times have heard this exact type of story. These are regular people and while it's possible that some of them might be mentally ill, some of them are not.

Passion is the culprit. When you love something too much and can't imagine living without it. You can reach your threshold when faced with such a situation and snap. So, i don't want mad, passionate, extraordinary love. I have calm, rational love. What do you think?
  • Hw do u approach a man u deeply admire, esp wen he's actin like he doesn't send u? 
This one is easy. YOU DON'T. Continue to admire him from afar and leave him alone. If he sent you, you wouldn't have to worry about approaching him. I don't believe in "toasting" a guy. If i'm interested, i'll give him the green light by making time to talk to him and being friendly. That way he doesn't have to rack his brains as to whether i like him or not. He can do the approaching. If a guy is acting like he doesn't send me, it doesn't matter how interested i am, I let it go. That is not a good start to anything. I can't imagine asking a guy out, first out all, the balance of power at least initially has shifted in his favor, afterall, na you dey find am, so he can do you anyhow. Of course if he likes you back and he's a reasonable guy, then it won't matter if you asked him or not, but most guys are not reasonable and i don't think it's a chance worth taking.

Long story short, you like a guy, he's acting like he doesn't send you, chances are he doesn't really send you. Leave the matter. Abi, how u see am?


  1. on #1
    Life is a balancing act. Extremes are not a great idea, so neither over-passionate and cold, mediocre love are alright in my books

    on #2
    The idea that he could one day say to me "Shebi You were the one that came to ask me out" is something I can't wrap my mind around.
    I would just die of shame.
    If he doesn't send you? Just respect yourself. If a man wants something, he would do ALL he can to get it.

  2. #2: The she was the one who asked me out statement is something i hate hearing. A male friend recently gave me this statement about some girl he recently dumped and why he went after her in the 1st instance...Guys are not reasonable at all. I can't, if after all the green light, you still do not get the message, we will continue to siddon look ourselves oh.

    #2: mad, passionate love does not go well together...this is disaster..shikena.

  3. Yes o! I never want to hear the, you are the one that asked me out thing. Heaven forbid.

  4. first thing
    id like that passionate love, i am one of the believers that love shouldnt be mediocre, sue me!!!!
    love inst crazy, once it gets to crazy state, we have passed love to obsession

    i used to think i could approach a guy, like give him green light and help in on the way to being my bf, errr i have been thought a lesson out of that fantasy
    if you like me and i smile well for u, better bring ur two legs to my front and so the asking

  5. I agree with number 1 sha- moderation in all things. Passion can lead to really horrible things, but love without some of it might be boring (maybe not love per se, more like relationship) cause love isn't really passion.

    On number 2, the girl should try a little bit, and subtly before she gives up. Guys try on girls that don't seem to send them and it works out

    Muse Origins (formerly The Corner Shop)
    Muse Origins

  6. #1..that combination=disaster and obsession
    #2...absolute hell to the no..if he can't detect the green light..zoom..that's my car moving off.. here and would be back..

  7. I agree with you on both o jere.
    #1- mad ke? madness is the root of all evil oo.
    #2- honestly, old school or not there are some things that should be left in it traditional form.

  8. I recently learned my lesson with the number 2 scenario! Most definitely agree with you!

  9. If a guy is acting like he doesn't send you. He more than likely doesn't so asking him out wouldn't solve the problem.
    I like ur approach. Give green light die..if he still doesn't get it, he's either daft or truly doesn't send u, so move on.

    As for passionate crime..*sigh*
    Let's just say I hear these stories so much now that I am slowly becoming desensitized to it. So much, a former co-worker sadly also became a victim.
    Her husband shot her and shot himself.

    Nonetheless, I'm a romantic & passionate person so ultimately I would want someone like that.
    The sane kinda passionate tho...

  10. I agree that passionate love can be a little bit extreme and overwhelming. There's love and then there's infatuation! I don't want the latter.

    If you like a guy and you've made it known to him and he's still not making a move then let it go. Move on! :)

  11. hummm #1 reminded me of a quote from Dr. Rachel Remen - Kitchen Table wisdom: "Anything else from unconditional love is not love" or something like that. And I agree with her, unconditional not mad or passionate lol. And I do agree with you, maybe that isn't love?
    #2 - *shrugs* different people, different strokes :D

  12. ....i want simple rational love, becox that mad, passionate love can turn to mad passionate hatred!

    .....respect myself o! i would 'hide' my feelings..becox i don't want it to be thrown at my face someday when there is quarrel or mocked at my back by his friends or relations!

  13. #1: I'm all for calm, rational love any day. Mad passionate love will only drain you, if not at first, in the long run. No one should lose herself in another person, because if and when the other person leaves, you're nothing.

    #2: If he doesn't send me, then so be it. There are many better men that do. ;-)

  14. LMAO #1, i totally agree, too much of everything is bad & mad, passionate & extraordinary is way way overboard...a word is enough for the wise

    #2 It may not be toasting, it may just be chatting him up to pass if you see me now, 'chilling in the corner, wearing Dolce&Gabbana, omo boys don hammer' looking fly, you no go come chat me up & risk finding out that its your Baroque?

    Abegee you...LMAO

  15. I thought mad passionate love is called infatuation which sizzles off just as quickly as it flames? Abeg gimme normal steady love with regular spikes of extra-ordinariness.

    As for the second question. you no send me, I no send you. though I must admit there's something about the resistant male that makes you just want to make him...succumb. yeah but just like for guys, its all about the chase. When he succumbs I'll probably realise I dont like his teeth or


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