Thursday, October 29, 2015

October 29th

Happy Birthday to me!
The lord has been good to me.
I can't complain.
I ate white yam straight from Naija for the first time in years yesterday.
On the last day of every month I get paid.
Me and Brokeness are no longer BFF's
I love my residency program.
My coresidents are awesome sauce. They think I'm a riot.
I love living in my little city and my cozy apartment .

This morning my sister woke me up with gifts.
My 6 year old niece showered me with hugs and kisses
My 3 year old niece sang me happy birthday 
My mom prayed for me
I get to celebrate my birthday surrounded by the people who love me!
What a blessing! 

I have come so far from where I was the last couple of years.
What more can I ask for?
I remain thankful.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Anonymous Confessions

My favorite blog is Stella dimiko korkus. I've been reading her blog since 2007. I remember years ago when someone hacked her blog and closed it because she posted something they didn't like. She's always been an original and I love how blunt she is. She can spit fire which I love but I think she has toned it down a bit. I was happy when she finally got the type of traffic her blog deserves and she has been doing good things on that blog.

She recently put up a couple of posts asking people to confess anonymously. My dear, I don read, I don tire. Forget the numerous abortions and sleeping around, there was even a murder confession and someone who cooks for her husband with menstrual blood.

After reading those comments, I officially declare myself Jesus's baby sister, seated specially on the right hand corner of God. Even with all my unbelieving, non church going ways, I now by the power vested in me by me, declare myself a saint. Henceforth, I will be known as St. Sting.

Wat!!!! Ha! I haven't lived life o. See what medicine has done to me. I just chuckin myself for one corner dey read book, bad I no see do. Walahi. Now I know why Christianity has bale up the average Nigerian. When dem don commit finish, dem go say, but God has forgiven me. This God too good o.

May God forgive us all.

Now how can I get rid of this good girl image? It's too late to sleep around for money or use abortion as birth control cos any belle wey I get, sorry child, prepare to enter this evil world.

The thing wey dey pain me pass be say these are the most judgemental people. Na dem holy pass. As someone rightly said, na cemetary dey their closet.

I try not to be judgemental because we all have our cross to bear, but how on earth can someone have not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4 but 8 abortions? What the fuck is wrong with you? Get on fucking birth control for God sake. I'm pro-choice but God damn! After you will turn around and say God has forgiven you. You are so lucky I'm not God because I'll take those products of conception and slap you with them before I forgive you. Go buy some condoms, get on the pill, get an IUD, read, educate yourself about contraception, there's no excuse for that mess, because as much as we like to sugar coat it, that's a child that's not coming into this world for a frivolous reason. Fuck you for that shit.

Excuse the cussing, I tried really hard not to but that one just pisses me off. 8, 9, 10 abortions?! Abortion is not supposed to be used a birth control. If you can find someone to perform an abortion, then u can find someone to put you on birth control. Please fear the God that you want to forgive you. Still sorry for him small.

As for the one cooking with menstrual blood, no amount of Jesus will save that one.

Monday, October 26, 2015

13 years

October 26th, 2002, I arrived in JFK, New York. Inappropriately dressed for the weather. We missed our flight from LaGuardia to Atlanta because we were stopped for a random search of our luggage at check-in. That was the first day I was nicely asked if I spoke English. At that point, I just wanted the whole traveling ordeal to be over.

We had taken a direct flight from Lagos to new York, on what would turn out to be the last direct flight by Nigerian airways. By the time we got to LaGuardia, I was exhausted, hungry and in physical pain. We finally made it to Atlanta, where all the houses looked liked stuff you world expect to see in story books. They didn't look real, I was curious and unimpressed.

Time to eat and nothing tasted right. The fruits, meat everything was off. I remember being disgusted by chicken nuggets and ketchup. The bananas and oranges were off, the only similarities was the look. The taste of chicken was nauseating. My dad laughed at all my food complaints and said you will get used to it.

It took me two years to come to terms with living in America. My life in Nigeria was pretty good and I was homesick a lot. Everything was different, including working part-time and going to school. Will and Grace saved me and stopped me from going into depression. I missed Nigeria with an ache that got worse with each passing year. Home was Benin-city, Nigeria.

Until one day, I don't know when it happened, I stopped missing Naija. The ache went away and like a thief that crept up in the night, home became Atlanta.

13 years to the day I came to America, I'm sitting in an airport, waiting to board a flight home and I couldn't be happier.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

The Verdict

After my one week mostly mental "quest", I have decided I'm not cut out for the "I'm looking for a man life". My last post made me think about what I really want. I'm finally finding some peace in my life and I'm really not looking to complicate my life right now.

I'll just live life and see what happens. My goal is not to get married but to find happiness in whatever form that takes.

Vacation loading....

As always, I remain thankful.

Monday, October 19, 2015

I dey Find Horseband!

My maama don tell me yesterday say make i start to dey look for husband. I'm like, "look for?!!!", where do you want me to start looking? I ask am say whether she realize say na only oyibo people full where i dey, if she ready to accept oyibo SIL....??!!!! LOL. I know her too well. She hesitated then said they get divorced too easily. I was like, mother....everyone gets divorced too easily these days, leave that thing. She was now like, okay you need to find someone who is head over heels in love with you.....her exact words. Because they would love you and accept you how you are. You also need to start calming down.... Haba maama, I'm trying. I'm my grandmother's grandchild. Fire breathing warrior dragon :)

I would like to think i have calmed down considerably. Some of that had to do with maturity and a lot of it had to do with being completely sapped of all excess energy and fire by the time i was done with med school. But, it's still there. I saw something on blogger yesterday that made me go from 0 to 100 in 0.5secs, I was already about to take action before i realised i had misunderstood the situation. Jesus be an icebox in my life, like for real.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand, I don't know if i am exactly ready to be someone's wife but the idea of it has stopped being so repulsive to me. I can actually picture it in my head and this just happened for the first time in August, when I was looking at pictures on pinterest and had an aha moment.

 I was chatting with my secondary school BFF a couple of days ago and she was like, it would be like a dream but i would be married by this time next year. I was like abeg o, i no wan use dream enter marriage. I need to be wide awake for this one.  If the dude is not my best friend, there's no marriage happening. This is the only family member I get to pick, so why in the world would I be asleep/dreaming going into it? I can't join the let's keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best, I'll just marry the next dude club. Mba nu.

The thing I am having an issue coming to terms with and would more than likely be a huge adjustment for me, is having to live with someone. Like, I will have to see this dude every day and night in the same space, same bed.  God forbid he snores. That one na everlasting punishment but God in heaven knows if i end up with someone who snores i will not hesitate to get my own room. If there's a master bedroom i get to have it because he is the one who snores, besides i will more than likely need the space.

How do people combine all their stuff into one closet? I won't be able to watch the shows i want when i want? Will i now be expected to take care of another human being? Most of the time, my fridge is empty. I cook when i want to and get by on cereal for dinner a lot of times. The more i write about this the more i'm getting turned off by the idea of getting married, so let me just stop now while i'm ahead.

So I'm accepting applications from single eligible bachelors. Slide into my DM :), as one dude told me yesterday. No be only slide into my DM. But i never dey beg o so i can be a chooser.

Manna does not fall from heaven so we are being proactive here.

I no dey joke o. But let us all respect ourselves in this matter, look yourself well first before you decide wetin you wan do. Please and thank you.

I will let you all know how this quest my mother has sent me on turns out.

Saturday, October 17, 2015


The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. 
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable
 Bennan Manning 

A very nice Lady I just met while we were having a conversation asked me if i was a believer. I was taken aback, because no one has ever asked me that question before and I didn't even know "Are you a believer?" could be asked as a question. I'm serious. How am I supposed to answer that?! Are you a christian, would have been less surprising to me. Anyway, while i was caught off guard by the question, even though I knew saying No would be odd an, I couldn't say yes. I don't remember exactly how what i said but i probably sputtered incoherently, but she noticed my obvious discomfort and was like it's okay.  Then i said i have my issues with religion. This is an awesome Naija lady who is prominent in the naija community in the city i just moved to and i know Naija people and how important religion is, even though i would have liked to make a good impression, I just can't lie about that. Anyway, it doesn't seem to have affected her impression of me, because she still calls me to come get food :)

I don't know what i am really. Atheist, Agnostic, in between, christian, or student of the world? Maybe more student of the world because as time has passed i have found myself uncomfortable saying i am a christian (they actually ask you that in some hospitals) because i don't believe (Ha! Madam unbeliever). But the issue is what don't i believe in? God, Jesus or the religion? I think it's more the religious aspect of religion (hahaha) that i am not geling with. The Bible contains a lot of contradictory things especially in the old testament and I don't like how it seems to be so open to subjective interpretation. There's just too much chaos going on. I think some books of the bible are awesome, containing sound principles and teachings but what of the ones that are just off. Do we just pick and chose what to pay attention to? What about the books of the bible that are not included in the bible most people have? What about the vast majority of Christians who pick and chose what practices to abide by? 

Then when i see certain representatives of Christ aka Men of God, I just give up! Add to that the general mentality of their flock, I'm just done. Case closed. Period. The End! Nothing to write home about. It's all over. Close the book, moving on! 

I went to church for the first time in 4 years in July. It was quick and dirty, 1 hr 15mins just how i like it but I just wasn't feeling it. I like the praise and worship but the whole thing was just off to me. 
 I'm open to listening, learning, trying but at all times I will always be true to myself. I haven't gone back to Church. I don't know when next i will, maybe the next time I'm invited again, because that's how i ended up in church in the first place. I still love Joel Osteen and his teaching but i haven't listened or read anything from him in years. 

I was thinking to myself the other day, how i have never wanted a God fearing man, like most people i know. I'm so random and off and weird but that's okay. LOL. I just want a normal person. When the thought occurred to me, I was just like, Girl you need Jesus. This actually happens to currently be my favorite saying "xyz needs Jesus". My co-residents now know me for that. LOL.

Religion is actually a pain in the ass if you ask me. Look at what crazy people have reduced islam too. Islam is supposed to be a religion of peace, but certain lunatics have hijacked it for their own cause. I can't freaking believe we have a terrorist group in Nigeria, with parents sending their little daughters and sons to be suicide bombers. The whole world has gone to hell in a hand basket. 

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Useless blogger

So according to Segun Pryme i'm a useless blogger. Vex no let me vex because na me find trouble. I don start to dey vex wan curse my blog readers, naim Segun give me the washing of my life up to the extent of saying my last post, from post enter poem. But he's right......
  1. I blog infrequently
  2. I almost never respond to comments
  3. I  can write without saying anything
  4. Na me really useless pass. 
I'm hampered by the following
  1. I really can't blog about work/patients due to this thing called HIPAA 
  2. I typically don't blog about the people in my life. It saves a whole lot of future stress. I prefer to keep my thoughts about certain things and situations in my head.
  3. I can't blog at work; don't have the time and wouldn't want to access my blog from a work computer anyway. 
  4. When i get home, the last thing i want to do is blog
  5. I'm not necessarily an anonymous blogger so i am very conscious of what i share on this blog.
  6. TIME, TIME, TIME.... I don't have time to blog. 
  7. I have lost whatever connection i had to my blog readers so there's no pull to blog. It would be easier to be consistent if I felt connected to my audience.
Does anyone really care? I would seriously LOVE to know. Who is reading? Why do you keep reading? What would you like to read about? What are you curious about me and my life that you would love to know?

I would really love to know who still reads this blog besides the few souls who still comment regularly.

Segun abeg, abeg, abeg!!!!! you don't count because as much as you harass me about not blogging or responding to comments, I haven't seen your brake light here in forever, so park well.

I'm supposed to be looking up the current literature on preoperative antibiotics for shoulder arthroplasty. Hate on a!  I'm finding lots of awesome articles but what i actually need!!!!!!!
Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

  © Blogger template Writer's Blog by 2008

Back to TOP