Mercy said 'YES!'

Cue

It seems like i've gotten my first cue to stop pussy footing around and focus on my books. It seems like someone took a sharp turn into paranoiaville and decided to drag me along for the ride. No, ma'am. Not happening. I think the "accusations" both direct and implied are laughable and very left field but nevertheless irritating because that was the last thing on my mind.

With that being said, if i leave comments on your blog and you think i'm hating on you or they are out of pocket, please i'm begging you, let me know so i won't waste my time anymore. The crazy thing is i don't comment on a lot of the blogs i read so for someone to think i would go out of my way to hate on them is ludicrous.

Yes, i know i can be blunt but i'm never mean spirited and i'm also a fair person. I don't have a problem apologizing when i'm wrong but on the other hand, i don't suffer fools gladly. With that being said, i will leave people's blogs alone and focus on important things, like the microbiology that is doing me strong thing right now.

ETA
I put this post up on Saturday with the link to the offending post and my comments. I decided to take it down and delete my comments on the post because I just can't give everything equal importance and frankly this shouldn't even be on my list of slightly important things i should pay attention to. However, because i deleted my comments, it's left to the imagination of anyone who reads as to what i initially said and blog owner can now conveniently play victim. Very interesting.

Point of putting up this post again?
1. Pay attention to the paragraph in red
2. I think cowardly anonymous commenters should be hunted down and eliminated. If not for anything, simply for the fact that they are a spineless nuisance. Put a name to your comments, then you would have relevance. This is the reason why i don't allow anonymous comments. I take note of the people who address me as Sting vs. Madame Sting. Anyone who calls me Sting is more likely than not a blogger and an older blogger for that matter. So please put a name to ur comment and i will pay attention to you.

P.S. I still think it's pretty senseless* to say you won't date someone because they are NICE. It's my opinion and if you don't want to hear it you can moderate comments or not allow comments at all.
*My choice of words didn't come out my ass, Ms. blogger gave a list of reasons why she didn't want to date said guy, including the fact that he was nice, and then she proceeds to ask if it made sense. Well, it didn't make sense to me, so i said NO. 

This was not meant to be a dialogue more like a memo, hence the disabled comments. Read, take what you please out of it and keep it moving :)

Colors

Anything to make me feel better about my life. I wish coloring all the pages of my micro notes would make it easier to understand, but it won't. At least they are pretty to look at, so i'll just keeping looking at them and wishing i could rewind time. I want my summer back. I'm not ready for all of this.

P.S. Peep a glimpse of the offending micro.
* Yeah, u guessed right. I have nothing to blog about (well, not really. There's always stuff). I just don't want to study.

Black Girls Are Easy: This is a very interesting blog, btw. Sometimes he doesn't make sense but most times he does. I like the insight into a male perspective.  His latest post is on texting and relationships (serious paraphrasing on my part). I'm so not a texter, although I can text from now till tomorrow. I mean, as i speak, i have used close to a 1000 text messages this cycle and only about 340 talk minutes, but talking is still my preferred mode of communication. I don't like to chat either but i do both because that's the way the world works now. I definitely will not be impressed with a guy who wants to chat me up primarily by texting. I hear the preferred method now is bbm. I've never had a blackberry, so i wouldn't know. Seriously though, after the initial contact and all that, isn't it lame to continue to text or chat when you can speak? I think another issue i have is because of the way i communicate, i get misunderstood a lot when texting or chatting cos it doesn't convey tone. So you have to know me very well to understand when i'm kidding or when not to take me seriously.

Quick Update

Is it too early to start complaining about school? I already have A LOT to complain about. It's amazing how easy it is to become tired again. I figured with 3 months of doing nothing but bumming around, i would be rejuvenated and good to go. For where. All that energy was out the window on Night 2.

Anyway, that's not why am here. Yesterday was my baby niece/god-daughter's birthday. She turned two, so she's not a baby anymore but she's my baby! I borrow pose with her seriously. Anyway, she's such an important part of my life, it would be remiss of me not to write about her on this blog. Sadly, i can't share pictures because her 2nd maama (who is officially her real maama) forbade me. In case you are wondering, my mom is baby's first maama and i'm her third maama. Trust me, it makes sense. That child loves my mom to death. She's very attached to her. Anywaysssssss, i was drinking some cold water, and you know that sound you make (ahhhhh...) after you drink cold water? I made it and it reminded me of her. It's amazing what these kids notice. When she drinks water, she always makes the sound whether the water is cold or not because she noticed my mom doing it. It's so cute. Right before i left, she started asking for me to do "ring a rosie" with her. She doesn't talk well, but she is able to communicate what she wants. In this case, clasped her hands together, was babbling and turning around, so i knew what she wanted because i had done it with her before. When she did it another day, i knew what she wanted immediately.

Her understanding of pidgin English is on point and she's starting to repeat pidgin words, which is the funniest thing ever, because believe it or not, she is already starting not to pronounce things the Nigerian way. I don't know how that happens. I really don't especially since everyone around her has a Nigerian accent. We figured it's from TV and Day care. I have no clue. Anyway, i love that child and whenever i'm sad i watch videos i made of her and it always makes me laugh. I still think it's amazing how much she looks like my sister. She is so pretty. It's funny cos after she was born my sister was like, "You are going to be her god mother, right?"  and i was like"why not?" Then she said "You know you said if she wasn't pretty, you wouldn't be her god mother, but she's pretty". First of all, i can't believe i actually said that but i'm sure i did. I must have been joking. lol.

Now that i've finished gushing about my borrow pose daughter, i will jejely go back to my books. OMG, micro is so boring. I want to almost kill myself. Almost!!!!

Before i go, i was thinking about Bella Naija and Linda Ikeji. Which do you guys prefer? Bella Naija actually started out like Linda Ikeji, until she took a journey down Tush and Elite lane. Now i think the site is boring and i can go a week or more without visiting it. Most of the things there don't interest me. I love the wedding showcases but those only serve to remind me how much i need to have if i want a nice wedding, then some of the relationship articles are alright. Other than that, i don't enjoy it as much. Linda Ikeji on the other hand, i visit everyday, like i don't have anything better to do with my time. I hope she continues with what she's doing and builds on what she has going for her because many people are like me,we like amebo work and don't really care about tush events we will never attend.

To the Izz: Happy baiday! You'll always be my boo-boo :)

I'm outie. Thanks for all ur comments guys. They make me laugh and that's always a good thing because med school makes me sad.

Hey Lovies

I learnt something new thing today:

Neologisms-A neologism is a newly coined term, word or phrase...... 
Apparently, making up words only you can understand is a sign of psychopathology. I do that a lot. I always knew something was wrong with me. I guess before the year runs out, i will fully (mis)diagnosed myself. 

On a totally related or unrelated note, just this week alone, i have managed to refer to a particular someone as

• Lucifer's Apprentice
• Satan's little brother
• The Gateman to hellfire. 

And i'm not even that angry with the dude.......... more like scratching my head baffled.
I'm going to leave the matter for Mathias and go and study jare. Day 2 and i'm already behind. No sleep for the wicked.

P.S. In fact, add Devil's first born son to the list. That guy is a certified bastid!

Anti-cupid campaign

Holiday is over
holiday is over
no more sleeping in
no more goofing off
errrmmmmmm.....there's more to this song, but i haven't made it up yet, so just manage this for now.

So yeah, play time is over. My eyes are red, i'm vexing for cupid right now. I had a whole 3 months doing nothing but bumming around. Did i see his brake light? No!!! Instead, i met Satan's little brother. Now that school is about to start, he has carried his fat little cherubic ass my way. Stop it o! I will wound you if you come any closer with that arrow.

Seriously though, i needsssss to focus. This year is not the time to play or be fooling around. I have donned my big girl piants (panties is too tush) and i'm ready (well, not really but i will be ready tomorrow.) I'm thinking of learning how to meditate to help me with stress and maybe some yoga in the future. I've re-subscribed to Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer and T.D Jakes podcasts. I need to get my Jesus on. Hey!!! Don't judge me. I need it.

I spent all day yesterday proof reading a 48 page dissertation. I almost kpemed. Initially, when i agreed to proof read the thing, i thought it was a 3 page paper, not a dissertation. Anyway, that's what you do for family. Then i rounded up the day by going to pay $18 for food that was not so good, all in the name of going to dinner with friends. It's all good sha. It was nice to see my peoples again all looking so fresh and so clean. I give us 2 weeks before we dry up again like kpanla.

I'm off to go do not a lot of anything. If you see cupid, warn him to leave me alone o. I don't want to be responsible for killing a pint-sized love terrorist. I mean, he goes around shooting people with a bow and arrow. Who does that?!!!!

Question of the Year

Why are some guys just beasts of burden?
a) They originated from the innermost loins of the devil
b)They can't help themselves, their XY chromosome is defective
c)They are really wild animals in human form
d)They are escaped demons from hell
e)They are just beasts....plain and simple.
f)All of the above and then some.

You must chose one from the above options.

I wish i had a baby sitter. Someone needs to wrap my hair and put me to bed. I don't want to move from this chair, hence this impromptu post at 1.30am.

Hope u guys are enjoying my almost daily posts because it's about to be OVER!!!!
By the way, i have officially abandoned Blogsville GisT, it might be temporary, it might be permanent, right now i have no clue.

P.S. This mini-survey is very tongue in cheek. 

Plentieee Stuff

• The kind sleep wey dey catch me this afternoon ehn! Odi very serious. This dude woke me up this morning at 7.25am and i had gone bed at 2am. I checked my phone and saw he had called at 2.24am and 4.30am. I was so pissed cos i woke up with a headache. Then i get on facebook and he sent me a message asking if i had seen ALL his missed calls. Wowzers. Just as i finished responding to him and asking him if he didn't know there was a time difference, he calls me. I tire for the matter. I just went ahead and blocked him after the call. I'm loving my new phone cos it has that feature. Don't ask me the kind of phone i was using before cos it was some bootleg pangolo phone that upped and died on me. Anyway, my friend told me to chill out and be nice to him so i unblocked him. He has until Sunday night to arrange himself, unless he's back on the blocked list. 

• I officially started my coupon clipping career today and i saved a grand total of $3!!!! :) Hey, cut me some slack here, i just started. I've never thought to use coupons even though my younger sister who is a reformed queen of extravagance and a borderline shopaholic, started using coupons 2 years ago when she had her baby and she saved a TON of money buying baby stuff. Still, it never registered in my brain that clipping coupons might be a worthy venture. In fact, as soon as i get the newspaper with the coupons, they go straight to my recycling trash bag, i don't even look at it. So why the change of heart? Of course, i watched Extreme Couponing on TLC this summer and i saw the light. Besides, it doesn't hurt cos i'm a broke medical student with no source of income except my student loans which are waiting for me to be paid back in the nearest future.

• Come o! Are you guys aware that there are some restaurants in Naij that double as.....how do i say this nicely? Erm....escort services? A guy can come eat and pick the waitresses abi na servers or hostesses up, almost like prostitutes? My friend told me about his experience with this issue when he went to Nigeria and i was very skeptical. I knew he wasn't lying but it was hard to believe. This is different from when he would go to the club and see runs girls there who were in the club just for the purpose of picking up men. He said he didn't believe it at first until his friends (just to prove a point) called a couple of the girls and were pricing them like you would price fish in the market. Wawawewa! Anyway, i'm not talking about that. I'm talking about restaurants whose "waitresses" are undercover runs girls or prostitutes. I mean, this guy told me about this early this year, but it didn't sink in until i was watching Ofe Owerri Special on NollywoodLove this evening. The lady runs a restaurant and her waitresses are hired with the knowledge that they will provide a "happy ending" for the customers that require it. She then splits the proceeds 50:50 with her madam. I said, ehen....see groove. I think i'm too sheltered for my own good. 

•  This is an age-long debate but do you guys think you can turn a "ho" into a housewife? The popular saying is that you can't turn a ho into a housewife. I've been watching this show on OWN, i don't know the title of the show but it looks at prostitutes in Cook County jail, Division 17 in Chicago who are in program to turn their lives around. The setting/structure remind me of the psychiatric hospitals i've worked in, but that's beside the point. Anyway, so these ladies have peer coordinators who were once prostitutes and i think it makes sense cos these ladies can relate cos they've been there. So one of the peer coordinators has a husband who met her when she was 5 years clean and he knows she was a prostitute and all that. She seems to have turned her life around and he was willing to give her a chance. I don't think i agree that you can't turn a ho into a housewife. I think it depends on the individual and if they have personally seen the error of their ways and decided to give it up. Other than that, then the saying stands true. What say you?  *I just saw the title of the show. It's called Prostitution: Leaving the Life

• Sometimes we need someone to believe in us when we can't believe in ourselves. I always say this and i said this to my brother this summer. I remembered the saying because one of the jail inmates just said something similar. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to have a GOOD, POSITIVE support system, regardless of where you are in life's journey. Someone to believe in you, when you can't believe in yourself......how's awesome is that?!! I have seen the result of being there for someone, lifting them up, encouraging them, speaking positive words into their spirit. It's being a blessing to be able to do that for someone and to have someone do that for me.

• T.D Jakes said he has the gift of Good bye. Well, i don't, but i'm working on it. It's a good gift to have.

• 2 more blogs and i will have 400 blogs on my blog list. I deserve some sort of award. I know a lot of people visit my blog just to get to other blogs. Una go soon start to dey pay me. Also, believe it or not, this blog has 505 posts. Unfortunately, i had to take a TON of posts down when it became obvious i could no longer conveniently have a "personal" blog. So many things i would have talked about but my space has been infiltrated. I'm okay with it now sha. Surprisingly, i missed my paper journal so much this summer because i made the stupid decision to leave it behind, thinking i wouldn't need it. I had to make do with typing up stuff in Word when i really needed to offload (that word just sounds weird right there, brings something else to mind). Whatever works, shey?

• Okay people, i'm going back to my Ofe Owerri Special. It's crazy how the last time i watched Naija movies was the first week of June and now that school is about to start back, i'm trying to cram them in. I'm a mess. I had 3 months to watch them and i didn't. SMH. 

*It took me 5 hours to type up this post hence it's no longer afternoon, between watching TV, a movie on my computer, eating a giant piece of cake and just being lazy. I still have a headache!!!! It's going to be an early night with my phone turned off. 

:(

Wahala go dey o! I literally just got back a couple hours ago and i'm already feeling like this. Truth be told, i have been sad for the last 2 days. Am i not supposed to wait until the books start to bulala me before i start feeling like this? Preempting 007.

I'm going to go eat cake, watch Food Network and get fatter, in that order. Tomorrow, i shall commence Operation junk food detox and Operation feel better before Monday. Argghhhhh......my life! 

*I think i was the only black person on the plane today. o_O
** Never mind, one of the air hostesses was black.
***Tell me why i get back and my name has been removed from my mailbox? I didn't check if my name has been removed from my buzzer. This people dey find my trouble. 

Nemesis - The Saga Continues.

So, you guys remember the Nemesis micro mini-series i put up, end of April/beginning of May....Part 1 is actually unrelated to Part deux. This is a continuation or should i say update of part deux. So you can get yourself up to speed or refresh your memory by reading part deux.

So at the end of part deux, mistress was pregnant and the guy was already showing his true colors. Unfortunately for the mistress, she had a miscarriage and lost the baby and guess who she says is responsible? The wife she drove out of her matrimonial home. I guess it's not possible the miscarriage just happened, there has to be a spiritual angle to it and the wife is the easy suspect. The poor wife who has been living her life jejely and taking care of her kids without any support from her husband.

Madam mistress was actually diagnosed with fibroids and this is what most likely caused the miscarriage. The husband has started treating her the same way he was treating his wife, sleeping around, not even bothering to come home days on end. In fact, he lied to her that he was traveling out of town on business and instead lodged in a hotel and was going to work from there. The guy drinks a lot, something he has always done, but now she wants him to stop even though when they were dating she used to follow him to beer palours to drink. People in the "know" say that when he drinks the jazz she used to hold him doesn't work which is why she really wants him to stop drinking. I no dey there, i no know o.

What did they say about the cane that they use to flog the first wife? That's what they'll use to flog the second wife too!!  The point of this amebo gist that i'm giving you guys is that people don't change and you can't reap where you did not sow. If he treated his first wife like crap, chances are, he'll treat you like crap. Just look at this Mercy Johnson saga going on. First off, i don't understand why people hate her, i actually like her movies (where she's not trying to act tush, i like her village girl movies). As set as she is (you all know what i mean by set! Front, back, face, everything correct!) i believe she can get a good man of her own. Not one that is abandoning his wife.I don't know why she thinks she'll be different. Anyway, na siddon look, i dey look o.

I will be putting an audio post up, a recap of my summer. I was trying to decide if i should do it in pidgin english, but I feel like i have to be "on" for that. Right now, i feel so blah. So, i'll just do it in regular boring english :) BTW, i just discovered that there's Hawaiian pidgin english. How cool is that?

Repost: Broken Heart

I wrote this Nov 2010 and it remains my most popular post to date. I wonder why. You guys need to stop getting your hearts broken or breaking hearts. Broken hearted and looking for tips on how to get over it? Read THIS

So lately i have been super interested in broken heart images. No my heart is not broken, i think it's the healthiest it's been in a long, long time. I haven't given it to anyone for safe keeping, i figured i can keep it safe all by myself. Thank you very much. I mean, dudes be dropping and breaking stuff all the time. I can't with all these clumsy ass mofos. I just can't!

I'm going to share some of the ones i really like with you guys. All images were gotten from google images. I especially love the emo ones. Some of them are really cute. Enjoy

This is how it starts o! They start off by begging you and stuff. Look at him, heart all ripped out and shit. Uh hum! You decide that since he gave you his, you might as well give him yours.  Mistake numero uno. Write that down. Just because a cute guy says he likes you doesn't mean you should get stars in your eyes and forget your common sense. He has to earn it and that takes time. Please don't talk to me about love at first sight. That's some bullshit right there. If you believe that, then i'm sorry to say you are a damn fool and you have no clue what LOVE really is.

And then, gen, gen, gen.....he goes and breaks your heart and is "nice" enough to give it back. Your tears as he hands the shattered pieces over, means nothing. In fact, what registers in his brain is that you are sweating from your eyes. As for why you are kneeling down with your hands clasped together and mumbling incoherently..... that's your own personal problem.

Heart break hotel. You see cry, you no fit cry. Eyes red, nose running, heart aching.

You can't sleep, you can't eat, you are distracted, you start to suffer from short term memory loss, you have unexplained chest pain and heart palpations, you do a lot of sweating from your eyes...... morning, noon and night. Any little thing that reminds you of him send you into a downward spiral. You begin to plot and scheme ways to get him back, until one day (It could be a week, a month, 6 months, or a year later.....it all depends on how far gone you are) you FINALLY get it (after countless hours of counseling by your friends), the idiot really meant it when he gave you the pieces of your shattered heart back.

Then the real pain sets in as you start to face reality

The pain is unbearable, made worse by the fact that you can't forsee an end to your suffering. You can't imagine a time when you will be normal again. In fact, you are willing to do anything to end the suffering, including trying to get him back.

Somebody, take this useless heart, i don't want it anymore. No, na your own, u can keep it. Shey na you give man wey break am, you no come want again? Carry your cross by yourself. It is well.....sorry.

Eyah! You still dey cry? Don't cry anymore. The guy was just an asshole. He didn't deserve you. I don't know what you saw in him in the first place. I hope you haven't been calling him o? What?!!! So you still called him again? When? How many times? 20 times?!! Back to back? Ermmm... I don't think you should keep doing that. That's some stalker type shit. Have you eaten today? Oya, go baff while i fix you a plate.... you kinda stink a little... well, maybe more than a little. Just get in the shower....Puhlease!

 

Sleep, wake up, cry, force yourself to eat, stare at your phone and will it to ring, look at the time, 30 more minutes to midnight, he might still call.....NOT!, be tempted to dial his number, dial it and hang up, curse yourself, call your BFF for the 100th time, more tears, rain curses on the dude....He's such a bastard. E no go better for am, sleep, sleep, sleep and more sleep.

After two weeks of not calling, you have a relapse and call him again and get your little heart broken all over again and this time the pieces are flung at you. No...he doesn't want your patch-patch heart. Is that a chic's voice you hear in the background. Yep....you've been upgraded, downgraded, sidegraded or whatever helps you sleep better at night. You are butt hurt. Oh no, he didn't. Oh yes, he did. Trifling SOB!!!

You start to ask yourself, philosophical questions like what did i even see in that fool? He's not even that cute. What's the difference between a felony and a misdeamenor? Should i slash his tires or just pour sugar in his tank?

You also begin to have epiphanies..... Ah, so there really is a thin line between love and hate. And you finally admit to yourself, that yes, you do have stalker tendencies.

So the healing process starts over again. Love and longing is replaced by anger. If you are a hot blooded, vindictive mammal, you might be tempted to key his car or spray paint it with a few choice words. You have recurring thoughts of castrating him (to put it mildly). You finally agree with your girls, how much of an asswipe he is.

In time, you start to feel like your self again. You might have lost some weight, but you see that as a bonus for all the heart ache you've been through. I mean, if you had to get something out of this pain, you might as well come out looking hotter after all dating that sucker dashed you some extra lbs on ur midsection.

But something's missing. Deep inside, you are still a sad little puppy.

Remember that!!!

So while you are being handed the pieces of your broken heart, resist the urge to throw it right at dude's face cos you will need all the pieces when you hand it to the almighty heart patcher, to patch your broken heart. It will never be new and shiny again, the way it was before you gave it to the dude, but you would have some well earned battle scars. Just chuck it down to growing up and one of the life experiences you have to learn along the way and be careful who you give your heart to next time. Like i said earlier, dudes be clumsy and shit these days. So just don't go giving people your heart all willy nilly. Capice?

P.S

There really is a physiological reason for the way you feel when you are heart broken. 

Question: What is the best way to get over a  heart break?

Answer: As with all other difficult things in life, you grit your teeth and bear it. Time is the greatest cure for a broken heart. Everything that has a beginning will surely have an end. So put down that giant tub of strawberry cheese cake ice-cream, all that does is make you bigger.Well, exercise is good too, so eat away but be prepared to work it off.

Older and Wiser?

I've heard that as a girl gets older she's more likely to lower her standards and settle for someone that she never would have looked at in her younger years. Settling.....that ugly word. I've actually seen it happen but i don't think there's a single reason why that happens. I had a good friend tell me she keeps going back to her douchebag boyfriend because no one else is checking for her and he's the only one who's ever mentioned marriage. I said Chineke! What is wrong with you? At the end of the conversation, i had to resort to begging her to reconsider her stance and not to settle for crap because she wants to get married. This my friend is very pretty....i don't understand her reasoning. Very baffling.

Anyway, I think that as we get older and have had some experiences, it's easier to determine what's important vs. what's silly in our list of requirements. Let me use myself as an example. This time last year, if you had asked me if i would date a guy who i'm older than, i would have said a big fat NO! Even if he was a day younger, i wouldn't have. As liberal as i am, there's this (Nigerian) traditional side of me that won't let me date a younger guy. Naija girls close to me have done it. My older sister has dated a guy younger than her with 4 years. A former close friend dated a guy 4 years younger than her. Still, i couldn't wrap my head around that concept. I remember when i was a Junior in college and a guy who was 2 years younger than me asked me to be in a relationship with him. My response to him was "what am i going to do with you?" Straight up! I realized later that that was a little too blunt, but that's what popped into my head. I was surprised cos he is Nigerian too and i didn't think they were down with dating older chics. We stayed friends after that but he never went back there. Last year, same thing but this was a very close friend who has always liked me unbeknownst to me but he was 3 months younger than me. I quickly shut it down not just because of the age although that was a major factor.

Anyway, beginning of this year, i met someone who was almost 2 months younger than me. My initial response was hell no! Not going to happen, i don't want to talk to anyone younger than me. Of course, everyone around me was not in support of my "narrow-minded" thinking. Hump! So i figured, fine...it won't kill me. I'll talk to the guy. I didn't end up dating him but the experience "softened" my thinking on the age thing. This summer, there was another guy who if all the stars had aligned right I might have agreed to date (but they most definitely didn't align at all, not to talk of aligning right) and he was 10+months younger than me. It was easier to wrap my head around the concept of talking to someone who's younger than me the second time around, and no one is more surprised than me that my thinking on this issue has changed. Last year, i wouldn't even have considered it for a nanosecond. I would have been like "What?!! 10 months? I don't want to be the older woman". That has always been my line.

So here i am feeling good with myself that i can potentially date someone younger than me, i feel accomplished and like a progressive 21st century woman. Then i talk to my childhood best friend and long story short this chic is dating a guy who is 6 years younger than her. I give up!!!! I'm not that progressive. I don't even want to be that progressive. Of course, she's my friend so i wasn't judgemental about it but we both agreed that the guy is still growing up and even though i was saying anything is possible in terms of him marrying her, she shot that down sharp sharp. Dude is too young to marry anyone at his age and even if he wants to marry her, we doubt that his Nigerian mother will allow him to marry someone 6 years younger than him. It's the truth! I guess she's using him to cool down right now. I don't know and i didn't ask.

So i guess as we get older, standards start to change. Fine boy chasers start to look for guys that are not so fine but dependable. I remember a friend asking me if na fine we go chop. I've not given up the fine boy thing sha (I have a love-hate relationship with them)! I have to be able to look at any guy I'm dating and do my part to ensure my future generations are not the butt of ugly jokes. lol.  I was looking at pictures of my niece today when i transferred them to my computer and she is such a pretty child. It's amazing how much she looks like my sister. Amazing. It will be a blessing to have a daughter look like me. but i digress.

So ladies, as you've gotten older or more experienced how has your stance, preferences, rules, restrictions, standards changed in terms of dealing with guys?

(Not so) Important Stuff

My well-earned, much appreciated and longed for 3 month holiday is almost over. Now i regret buying my ticket to leave home 3 days earlier than i really need to, but it was $100 cheaper and at the time i figured 6 weeks at home was long enough. Now i want those 3 days back. Actually 4 days cos i usually go back to school the night before school starts but i didn't think it was a good idea this time. I need time to settle in and breath before first day of school. I'm not ready o. I'm not ready!

My mom heard me telling my older sister that i hate med school and she has been on my case about that any chance she gets (to advice a.k.a talk sense into me). The fact remains that i don't love the process of medical school. It's like a hazing process and it can be very isolating especially for someone like me who needs to study alone to really be able to concentrate and get work done. You spend at least 12-14hrs a day studying by yourself. If you are good, you can wrestle out one day a week to relax but most of the time you have so much work, you can only get half a day if that. I usually just take mini mental breaks as i study, which is why i'm still able to blog regularly. I'm not a masochist o! There's nothing to love about med school at least not right now. With that being said, you guys know that i wouldn't want to do anything else. So i dey sofry dey complain.

I don't know if something is wrong with my thinking, but i'm always surprised/baffled/curious when someone says they love my blog. Of course, i always appreciate it but at the back of my mind i'm thinking why? I guess it's the detail-oriented part of me that wants to know the reason for everything. I'm not particularly witty, at least not on this blog. I might have a little dry/wacky sense of humor going on in real life, but i don't think it translates to this blog. I'm really curious as to why people say they love my blog. So if you've told me you love my blog, now is the time! Time to stroke my ego and tell me what you love about my blog or why. I dey joke o but i don't think anyone has stroked my ego in a long time so all ego strokers are welcome.

This summer has been uneventfully eventful. Hmmm..hmmm...hmmmm. Having too much time on my hands is apparently not a good thing. It makes me more tolerant of bullshit but it also gave me time to settle down and think and sort things out. If i had my sugar boy situated, i would have traveled to the UK or Naij. I really want to travel around Europe. Brokery is not a good thing sha. In my next life, i will be a trust fund baby. I totally was going to write something very important here, but my brother distracted me and i can't remember for the life of me what i was going to write here and it's bothering me. Pa! Pa! Pa! That's me slapping him mentally.

I took myself off to T-mobile and got a phone yesterday. I knew before i bought the phone that it had speakerphone volume issues but i still bought it because it has great reviews generally. I am totally into my speaker phone. 9 times out of 10 unless i'm around people, i'm on my speaker phone. I'm the person you see on the street talking into their phone without putting the phone to their ear. I hate putting my phone on my ear and i hate ear pieces. Wahala go dey o. I spoke to a tech support person yesterday and he told me to expect an update on the speaker phone as everyone is complaining about it. Other than that, battery life is not awesome, the phone has the getting hot issue, plus it's too expensive for a brokie like me. Why should i pay upgrade fees and tax, plus the bullshit mail in rebate which means i have to cough up money up front. I still like the phone sha, it's like a defective boyfriend who you hang on to because he's cute and has swag. Are you people sure i don't have home problems, cos a normal person would have picked something else. I have 14 days to decide if i should get insurance on the phone, an additional $7.99 a month on top a bill i already think is too high. Who dey call me for the phone sef? I think the amount i pay for my phone bill is ridiculous frankly and instead of me to be reducing it, i'm adding to it. I went and added a web plan and unlimited international text messages on top the unlimited text and talk plan i already had. Wahala go dey o. Na to speed up my sugar boy search come remain. 

Oh, i remember what i was going to say that my brother made me forget. I've dedicated myself to chasing belly laughs. That's my goal for the rest of year. You know those times where you find something so funny you can't stop laughing and you end up on the floor holding your stomach? I don't think i have laughed like that this year, but i had a couple good ones last semester with my friend. We do have some good moments. I wonder what my neighbors are thinking when they hear us laugh like that and it's over the stupidest (most stupid) things. Med school would be the windowless basement of hell without her but with her it's like we are on the main floor of hell where they put on the AC from time to time, so it's tolerable.

Ok, i'm done. The demon that calls itself my stomach is bothering me and has been all day. Which bad thing should i do this night now?

To all my new followers, i see you. Muah x3

*I was instructed to write this by this ham that calls himself my brother.
My brother is very handsome, he's tall, he's chocolate. He doesn't have any children, so you won't have to deal with any baby mama drama. Any girl will be lucky to have him. I thain'k God! everyday, to have given me such an awesome brother. He's everything a girl would want. Full stop.{Insert personal rant here} After all what do girls want, the beautiful ones and the rest, always end up going for the ones that beat them and cheat on them. They reject the nice guys because they say they are too weak and too nice. Instead of asking what happened to all the nice guys they should go to the mirror and look at themselves and say "I am what happened to the nice guys"

*This was my punishment for ignoring him and not letting him read what i was typing. I got a good laugh out of this cos he's a yam head. We were arguing who was whose right hand man. He said i was his right hand man, and i said he's my sidekick so i can't be his right hand man. He's the Robin to my Batman. He told me to be quiet and go and put on my Robin suit. SMH. Kolo.

Nuggets

I've been chewing on a lot of things lately, some important, others not so important.

• School: I think med school and God's grace go hand in hand. I don't know how i am feeling that in another 18 days i will be starting second year. On good days when i have mental clarity, i feel like i am finally making progress but more often than not, i'm not looking forward to the madness. It's a totally different life when i'm in school and when i'm at home. Our registrar sent us an email and at the end, she said "hope you've been having an enjoyable and productive summer". I definitely have not had a productive summer because i did not do a single thing. How that is going to affect me in future, i don't know and i worry about it for a minute from time to time but not too much. I tried to volunteer with AID Atlanta and the Dekalb County Board of Health but i was turned down because they had no use for short term volunteers. So i'm basically just chilling, enjoying my family and free-time as much as possible because in a few short weeks i will be thrown head first into the lion's den. Daniel survived and so will I. 

•  Liking someone: Some people forget or are unaware that just because someone likes you today doesn't mean they'll like you tomorrow. I don't hesitate to tell people that. So don't be thinking you can start acting the fool and feeling like a G because you think I like you. Liking someone is not a permanent condition and it is subject to change. Some people use their own hand to spoil their market and this goes for girls too. Some girls just think by virtue of the fact that they are female and a guy is showing interest, they can start to act like brats. You think the guys are foolish abi? Feeling too cool with yourself can lead to the death of a crush. 

• Marriage issues: I finally admitted to myself that i don't want to get married anytime soon. I thought the older i got the more my brain would shift into that line of thinking but it hasn't happened. I don't understand when people get it into their heads that they are ready to marry and pick the next thing that comes along that looks good on paper. Sometimes they barely even know these people, yet they chose them as partners to go through life's journey with. I can't help but think some people take this marriage business lightly. I read somewhere that your spouse is the ONLY family you get to choose, so chose wisely. That is deep. I mean, someone of us have crazy family members we have to love regardless. Family is family and you have to love them no matter what (well, most of the time cos i don't 100% agree) but given the choice of picking a husband to add to my family, why won't i take my time to make sure i am picking the best person for me. Am i just going to chose blindly and hope for the best? In Atlanta, within the last month, 3 men have killed their wives. This is such a common occurence these days, i have to sit and wonder what is going on. So in addition to asking God for a good man, we now have to pray for a husband that won't end up killing us, abi? The person who is meant to love and cherish you, ends up taking your life. What a sad story. 

• Dating bad boys, jackasses or simply the wrong person. My friend was telling me yesterday that he doesn't understand why girls pick bad guys to date and why they stay in relationships that are obviously bad for them. My response was that most girls are not crazy. No girl in her right mind would date a guy who comes at them being a jackass from day 0. A lot of guys put their best foot forward when they want to date you and start doing things they normally wouldn't do until they feel they have it in the bag, then their true colors start to show. Now, how long it takes their nasty sides to show is where the difference lies. As for staying in a bad relationship, that is a complicated issue but i know that until someone decides on their own that enough is enough, the whole world can line up and tell them to get out of the bad situation, but they won't listen. The heart wants what it wants. I liken such situations to being a on rollercoaster ride. You can't get off in the middle of the ride regardless how terrible it is, you have to wait for the ride to stop in order to be able to get out. Sadly as we all know, not everyone is lucky enough to get out unscathed or even alive in some cases. 

• Copyright Issues: What do you do when someone publishes your blog content without your permission or even your knowledge. I found out that my blog feed was being published on Ablanla blogs because i saw it being mentioned on twitter. The person who did that did not even have the courtesy to ask my permission. The only thing i could do at the time was reduce my blog feed and some guy (who is suspect is the owner of that site) asked me about it. Then Mizchif complained about the reduced feed and i decided not to punish my regular readers and i set my feed back to full. Now, i have emailed the owner of the site asking that my feed be removed from his site and of course i did not get a response nor was my feed removed. I don't think it's right and I am very irritated by the blatant disrespect and disregard for me and my blog. I think the owner of that site is a thief and he should thank the good lord that i don't have the resources to pursue this issue. Seriously, what can i do to protect my blog from these blog thieves? Mrs. Newlywed is having similar issues of her own which is why this issue came to my mind tonight.
• I NEED a new phone and i'm with T-mobile. I don't want the blackberry though. Any suggestions would be welcome. 
• I also need a computer but don't want a mac or HP. Suggestions welcome. 

*I just searched for Abanla Blogs on twitter and apparently their page has been suspended. Good! Maybe someone did something after all but their site is still functional and i happen to be a "top user" on the site even though i never visit there. 

Blogging Anonymously Re-visited

It's 3.27am and i'm still up. Don't you think i have home problems, given the fact that i'm on vacation and i should be filling up my sleep tank. I just finished listening to the latest verastic show on Anonymous bloggers. Fun stuff. I couldn't listen live cos i was at the library Saturday morning. It was a very interesting show and i love me some Foxy P. Interesting personality.

I realize that this blog is slowing tilting back toward being "personal" like it used to be and me no likey that BECAUSE there are some people (you know yourselves) who read this blog and know me in real life that don't talk to me, yet they care enough about what is going on in my life to continue reading this blog. Gbegborun United Club of Nigeria. Hmmmm..... One of such people is the reason why this is my 4th blog. I kept deleting my blogs and she kept finding it even after i told her i didn't want her to be reading my blog and the only reason i knew she was reading my blog, was based on putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 4.We used to be very close friends and at the time when i needed to have this blog as my personal space, she wouldn't let me have it. Back then, my blog was so personal to me, it was almost as if she was sneaking behind my back and reading my diary. Its like she felt the need to check what i told her in real life with what i was writing on my blog and she was supposed to be my closest friend in this country. Lack of trust = friendship failure (Friendship lesson numero uno)

She knew 98% of everything that i was writing on the blog because i talked to this chic every day and told her these things. She still felt she had to spy on me and then get offended when she saw one or two things that i didn't tell her (according to her) and she didn't even have the decency to come clean and bring the issue to my attention. It didn't matter that she was wrong about what she was thinking. I was shady cos i didn't tell her EVERYTHING. Who does that? Even if you are my twin, i can't tell you every single thing i'm thinking. She denied for a whole year that she was reading my blog. Straight up lied to me (but in her mind, i'm the liar) all the while not speaking to me over something she saw on my personal, "anonymous" blog that she lied that she wasn't reading. The crazy thing is I wouldn't have minded that she was reading the blog. It's not like i was writing about her or anything. Maybe that's what she was waiting to see. Only God knows. Come to find out that this chic is a blogger. How did i find this out? Two years later by listening to the verastic show. Life sha! Live, learn and grow. She taught me that some friendships no matter how close they are, are really only for a season and you can't force someone to want to be your friend. Two very important life lessons. So Madam, i know you STILL read my blog. I take that as a compliment because you just can't help yourself. I must be very interesting ;) Carry on.

With that being said, to speak on vera's most recent show which had to do with being an anonymous blogger, I'll say that the reason i started blogging anonymously Jan 2007 and the reason i'm still blogging anonymously Aug 2011 are very different. For one, the content of my blog has changed from being deeply personal, with a lot of dark and heavy stuff to being slightly personal with nothing too deep. As with everything i do, i have questioned why i am still anonymous and i asked for your opinion on it and some people gave valid reasons for continuing to be anonymous which i agree with.

By God's grace, i'm going to be a doctor sometime in the near future, and i don't ever want a patient to find this blog and know all my private thoughts or my co-workers to find it. Even now, i would be horrified if my classmates who i barely talk to found this blog and read it. There's something unprofessional about that because at the end of the day, all this is gist. Which is why Miss Lady here will not stop reading my blog and which is why a lot of Nigerians blog anonymously. It's not that we are not authentic and our blog does not reflect who we really are, it just that sometimes you put your face to your blog and people who know you in real life but are not your close friends, maybe associates and acquaintances will be privy to your private thoughts and dealings that you might otherwise not be comfortable revealing to them.

At the end of the day, it all depends on the content of your blog. If you blog about generic stuff and people don't even know the tiniest detail about you personally, then it might not matter whether you are anonymous or not. But if like me, your blog is a personal journal of sorts, then it matters because i don't want my secondary school classmate who i have not talked to in God knows how long to google me (or whatever) find this blog and start to read about all my trials and tribulations (and med school lamentations :) I'm not comfortable with that idea. If you are my friend and stumble on this blog, trust me, it won't take you too long to figure out it's me. What i write on this blog is who i am. I do not have 2 different personalities or whatever and i have no problem standing behind whatever i have written in person, not that i write inciteful things anyway. I just dey my own jeje.

To whoever is saying anonymous bloggers are ugly, i laugh in Japanese. Far from it, my dear. I'm a fine geh no pimples, just dimples ;)

*Now anyone is free to read the blog o. I put the info out there so it's fair game.
** I never really write about people on my blog, i learnt that early on. However, i no longer write certain personal things because of members of the Gbegborun United Club of Nigeria who know me in real life but are not my friends. No be my personal life una go use take dey gist. Ehn ehn. I wrote this really beautiful 2 page letter to myself today that i would have loved to share, but sadly i can't.
*** We shall be shifting back to not so personal stuff in the future. 
**** I do have friends who read this blog that i don't mind at all. My siblings know the blog address. My brother says it's boring and why would he want to read my blog anyway. One of my sisters said, she doesn't read it cos she knows i don't want her to read it and i don't know if the other one reads it but i know i check my blog from her computer all the time so it's very accessible to her.

At the end of the day, what i wouldn't want my mother to read, i don't write. That's my yardstick. She hates us being on facebook, so i know for sure she would be horrified to know that i still blog. She knew when i started and was against it.

How do i end up writing these long posts? Please for my lazy readers, forgive me.
It's 4.23am. I'll just take my nocturnal self to bed.

Oh, i just have to say this.....i really wish blogger was like twitter where i could protect my blog posts and only my followers get to see them. That would be awesome. Good night peeps. I'll probably wake up at 2 pm tomorrow and wonder where the day went. Most likely not cos i can never sleep that late.