Monday, August 1, 2011

Blogging Anonymously Re-visited

It's 3.27am and i'm still up. Don't you think i have home problems, given the fact that i'm on vacation and i should be filling up my sleep tank. I just finished listening to the latest verastic show on Anonymous bloggers. Fun stuff. I couldn't listen live cos i was at the library Saturday morning. It was a very interesting show and i love me some Foxy P. Interesting personality.

I realize that this blog is slowing tilting back toward being "personal" like it used to be and me no likey that BECAUSE there are some people (you know yourselves) who read this blog and know me in real life that don't talk to me, yet they care enough about what is going on in my life to continue reading this blog. Gbegborun United Club of Nigeria. Hmmmm..... One of such people is the reason why this is my 4th blog. I kept deleting my blogs and she kept finding it even after i told her i didn't want her to be reading my blog and the only reason i knew she was reading my blog, was based on putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 4.We used to be very close friends and at the time when i needed to have this blog as my personal space, she wouldn't let me have it. Back then, my blog was so personal to me, it was almost as if she was sneaking behind my back and reading my diary. Its like she felt the need to check what i told her in real life with what i was writing on my blog and she was supposed to be my closest friend in this country. Lack of trust = friendship failure (Friendship lesson numero uno)

She knew 98% of everything that i was writing on the blog because i talked to this chic every day and told her these things. She still felt she had to spy on me and then get offended when she saw one or two things that i didn't tell her (according to her) and she didn't even have the decency to come clean and bring the issue to my attention. It didn't matter that she was wrong about what she was thinking. I was shady cos i didn't tell her EVERYTHING. Who does that? Even if you are my twin, i can't tell you every single thing i'm thinking. She denied for a whole year that she was reading my blog. Straight up lied to me (but in her mind, i'm the liar) all the while not speaking to me over something she saw on my personal, "anonymous" blog that she lied that she wasn't reading. The crazy thing is I wouldn't have minded that she was reading the blog. It's not like i was writing about her or anything. Maybe that's what she was waiting to see. Only God knows. Come to find out that this chic is a blogger. How did i find this out? Two years later by listening to the verastic show. Life sha! Live, learn and grow. She taught me that some friendships no matter how close they are, are really only for a season and you can't force someone to want to be your friend. Two very important life lessons. So Madam, i know you STILL read my blog. I take that as a compliment because you just can't help yourself. I must be very interesting ;) Carry on.

With that being said, to speak on vera's most recent show which had to do with being an anonymous blogger, I'll say that the reason i started blogging anonymously Jan 2007 and the reason i'm still blogging anonymously Aug 2011 are very different. For one, the content of my blog has changed from being deeply personal, with a lot of dark and heavy stuff to being slightly personal with nothing too deep. As with everything i do, i have questioned why i am still anonymous and i asked for your opinion on it and some people gave valid reasons for continuing to be anonymous which i agree with.

By God's grace, i'm going to be a doctor sometime in the near future, and i don't ever want a patient to find this blog and know all my private thoughts or my co-workers to find it. Even now, i would be horrified if my classmates who i barely talk to found this blog and read it. There's something unprofessional about that because at the end of the day, all this is gist. Which is why Miss Lady here will not stop reading my blog and which is why a lot of Nigerians blog anonymously. It's not that we are not authentic and our blog does not reflect who we really are, it just that sometimes you put your face to your blog and people who know you in real life but are not your close friends, maybe associates and acquaintances will be privy to your private thoughts and dealings that you might otherwise not be comfortable revealing to them.

At the end of the day, it all depends on the content of your blog. If you blog about generic stuff and people don't even know the tiniest detail about you personally, then it might not matter whether you are anonymous or not. But if like me, your blog is a personal journal of sorts, then it matters because i don't want my secondary school classmate who i have not talked to in God knows how long to google me (or whatever) find this blog and start to read about all my trials and tribulations (and med school lamentations :) I'm not comfortable with that idea. If you are my friend and stumble on this blog, trust me, it won't take you too long to figure out it's me. What i write on this blog is who i am. I do not have 2 different personalities or whatever and i have no problem standing behind whatever i have written in person, not that i write inciteful things anyway. I just dey my own jeje.

To whoever is saying anonymous bloggers are ugly, i laugh in Japanese. Far from it, my dear. I'm a fine geh no pimples, just dimples ;)

*Now anyone is free to read the blog o. I put the info out there so it's fair game.
** I never really write about people on my blog, i learnt that early on. However, i no longer write certain personal things because of members of the Gbegborun United Club of Nigeria who know me in real life but are not my friends. No be my personal life una go use take dey gist. Ehn ehn. I wrote this really beautiful 2 page letter to myself today that i would have loved to share, but sadly i can't.
*** We shall be shifting back to not so personal stuff in the future. 
**** I do have friends who read this blog that i don't mind at all. My siblings know the blog address. My brother says it's boring and why would he want to read my blog anyway. One of my sisters said, she doesn't read it cos she knows i don't want her to read it and i don't know if the other one reads it but i know i check my blog from her computer all the time so it's very accessible to her.

At the end of the day, what i wouldn't want my mother to read, i don't write. That's my yardstick. She hates us being on facebook, so i know for sure she would be horrified to know that i still blog. She knew when i started and was against it.

How do i end up writing these long posts? Please for my lazy readers, forgive me.
It's 4.23am. I'll just take my nocturnal self to bed.

Oh, i just have to say this.....i really wish blogger was like twitter where i could protect my blog posts and only my followers get to see them. That would be awesome. Good night peeps. I'll probably wake up at 2 pm tomorrow and wonder where the day went. Most likely not cos i can never sleep that late.

16 comments:

  1. I dont blame you for blogging anonymously because Nigerians can be soooo judgmental ! Humph!

    Who said anon bloggers are ugly?? Puhlease....I set die! Just ask my kids (even though they are a bit biased) LOL

    Abegi, carry on blogging whichever way you like...a blog is a personal space and I really do feel that if we (women especially) attempt to please everyone, we end up editing our whole lives.

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  2. Blogging anonymously or not depends on what one is comfortable with. I blog openly because I am very open in real life. So, at the end of the day, it is one's comfort that matters. kudos to you

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  3. *sigh* I miss blogging anonymously though, I dint even last up to a year. LooL!
    LoL @NIL, we should ask ur kids?? hahahhah!

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  4. well i blog anonymously, anything short if that i wont be blogging.

    My brother reads though, my fiance too occasionally.

    if you know me real life you would know it is me

    A couple of my friends have stumbled into it and mentioned it, others may have and not mentioned it, as i also know a couple of anonymous bloggers and have never mentioned to them. I try to keep my blog semi-private cuz of the people i know and may not know that know who i am and read

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  5. "i don't want my secondary school classmate who i have not talked to in God knows how long to google me (or whatever) find this blog and start to read about all my trials and tribulations"

    Exactly. That's why I've never linked my blog website to my facebook account. If you come across it, no wahala. but i wont advertise it.

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  6. I'm always curious about anon bloggers. Im not anon...i don't know why? I just cant hide anything for long...its annoying. I blog about things that are not personal because me too I have gbeboruns on my blog, and some of them are friends. If you read my blog and you know me in real life I don't know if you'll be able to tell. I have to ask my friends. I have had an occasion where I blogged about a friend of mine being gay and another blogger whom I have a real friend in common with thought I was referring to the person she knew and brought my 'blog-life' to real life and blogged about it. I thought it was disrespectful and intrusive. Anyhow sha that is how I found out my friend was gay, the said friend has not personally told me this sha...but I think it's wrong when people put two and two together and come up with 44. LOL. It makes me feel that they have nothing better to do than to be analyzing my blog...

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  7. As with all things in life, when you make a personal choice people will find reason to criticize it. Keep doing your thing jere.

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  8. Blogging anonymously is your decision plix plix plix who said anonymous bloggers are ugly hmmmmnnn please oooo i am a fine girl lol but seriously the reason why i blog anonymously is because sometimes i dnt feel like talking to my friends,id rather hear wat strangers have to say about my situation no one in my family know i blog which is good as for friends only about two and one of them had to do serious i mean serious investigation before she figured it out so in summary do you because Nigerians can hate for the whole world

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  9. Madam Sting, I love your long posts. I don't even know when blogging changed from appreciating creativity to being nosy and judgmental. Sorry state of affairs.

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  10. I feel you mehn!

    I began blogging to ear out my dirty laundry...and it felt good without anyone looking down on you...

    If you read my blog and know me well...by the time you put 2 and 2 together you'll know it's me...just like you said...

    Sadly I'm considering not being such a personal blogger anymore as well...

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  11. LOL @ NIL..hahah u set die ey..even ur pikins can attest lol

    @STING stingo stingilicious..please who said anonymous bloggers are ugly? eya. Well dats their own wahala..I second your take on all the high school people stuff. who wants people all up in their bizness. neways me I enjoy blogging anon cos I get to say how I really feel and get real opinions not sugar coated opinions plus for privacy reasons..

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  12. I'm bummed that i missed Vera's show o, have to take a listen when i get the time.
    You already know my thoughts on anonymous blogging. My sister found my blog by accident when i was home, don't think she reads though but i don't really mind because there's nothing about me that would be a shock to my sister and if there's something she didn't like she'd tell me with immediate alacrity.
    I did have a friend that i discovered was a blogger by accident as well, i was just reading a post and the story sounded wierdly familiar. And i'm almost certain she started blogging after she found my blog. Ah well.

    LOL @ Gbeborun united club of Nigeria.

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  13. Lmao @ i laugh in japanese and gbeborun united haha
    ..."live learn grow" i like that.
    people have different reasons for blogging
    i have another blog more like a journal sef somewhere on the internet where i'm anon (i don't even know if anyone reads it) but all i do whine or pour out my mind and its therapeutic in a way for me.
    Happy new month fine girl with no pimples but dimples :D

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  14. I have to go and listen to Vera's show, must have been fun as usual.

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  15. #gbam# 9jamum..hahahahaha, abeg tell them o jare!...just do you my sistah...found out your friend was also a blogger???....won't be comfortable about my friends {how many do i have sef?} reading my blog....but chima my friend does,and we laugh over some posts

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  16. Blogging anonymously is a great cover for a personal blog. I'm shy when people i know read my blog, and it's not even personal at all!! I feel you

    Adiya
    Muse Origins (Creative Nigerian Features)
    Muse Origins

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