Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Waiting for Prince Charming

I think it's really interesting how we subconsciously assimilate and buy into stuff without being aware of it. We are just clueless sponges sometimes primed to follow a script we have no clue we are following. I had a dream the other day and i woke up smiling. I will spare you the details of that dream because it's really not pertinent to this story. However, it made me stop and think. I told my friend later that evening, that i feel like I'm going to end up getting married to someone i already know. This might not make sense to you so let me explain.

 I have guys who have liked me and asked me out for years but i have put them comfortably in the friend zone, because that's what we started out as or in some cases that's what we settled into for various reasons. For some of these guys, there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. Of course, there are always those I'm not attracted to but that's not always the case. While these guys are jumping through hoops to be with me, i pay them no attention and focus instead on the unknown prince charming. The one i have been subconsciously primed to wait for. I don't know when he'll get here, but i know he'll get here. Like one of my friends will say, he's coming. It's just that he's mates are taking airplane while he decided to walk. LOL. She's a silly goose.

So of course, in my search for this elusive Prince charming, i meet all these useless guys who add nothing but drama to my life while ignoring the people who are waiting and who i know will treat me like a princess (very cliche but true). Remember last year before my birthday when i said i wanted flowers but didn't think i was going to get them? Well, a day before my birthday i said that to one of such guys and the next day i got flowers and we don't live in the same state. Mind you his birthday is a day before mine and i didn't even get him a card. Meanwhile the person i would have wanted flowers from FORGOT my birthday!!! Then picked a fight with me over some bullshit on my birthday which he FORGOT!. *gasps*

It's really ironic how at the same time i can have one guy be acting anyhow and another who would do back flips if i paid him a tiny bit of attention. Big difference between both guys is, one i just met and the other, I've always known. Guess who I'm paying attention to? My friend asked me why i didn't want to date this one guy (not the flower sender) who really likes me and in fact has told me, he has always loved me (see groove) and i told her i didn't know. I honestly didn't know at the time. There's nothing wrong with him. He's good looking, great potential (*cough), we are very good friends (which I've always wanted in a partner), and I find him attractive. So why didn't i want him? I finally figured it out. It just clicked after i had that dream.

I want the fairy tale. Do you know how many romance novels I've read in my life? If i said 2000, i would not be exaggerating. I promise you that. I've been following a script of how things should work out. In my mind, I'm supposed to meet someone new, get all excited and giddy, fall in love, go through the exciting honeymoon period and all of that before settling down with the person. This guy did not fit the script. I didn't just meet him. I've known him for over 10 years, and we are very good friends. With him there would be no giddy, exciting period, no newness, no unknown (well, there are always unknowns when dealing with people), because we are already comfortable with each other. Therefore in my eyes he wasn't eligible even though some other chic would find him very eligible.

Then it occurred to me that i might be waiting for Prince Charming while my King is right in front of me. I'm not referring to this guy in particular but the idea of going out to look for something that you already have.

Which leads me to my next topic....... when do you stop pussyfooting around and think with your head (:

*I'll save that post for another time. I have a headache and i really should be sleeping but i can never sleep the day I'm done with exams. It makes no sense but it's a curse i have to deal with. The time my body needs sleep most is when i can't sleep so i stay up feeling crappy.

*In case you are wondering, I'm officially off the mens for now. This semester is hell on steroids and i need to focus because my life depends on this. I've told them they can wait, if they can't that's fine too. As my father will say, there will always be guys.

*This post is specially dedicated to Unveilinggold who said she wanted to read my old personal posts. I never talk about (my) relationships anymore but i thought this was worth sharing. Who knows it might open someones eyes. *wink, wink* Just make sure you come back and thank me :)


  1. The problem I see was that you don't have a boyfriend yet you are hoping for a husband. Sizing guys you see with the prince charming/husband criteria...looking out for "potential". Babe, if everyone lived up to their potential every player in the NBA would have won an award. My point is, date a guy what it was meant for, to know the basic about each other and NOT place the cart before the horse - dating him because you feel you have a future together.

  2. Sting what do you think about virginity and sex before marriage? u better answer me

  3. My opinion has and will always be... date a guy you think you can marry, seriously i know guys dont mind the dating for fun thing, but i think in the long run dating for fun hurts us ladies, focus is more important here,and marriage is a really important decision, i mean as a single, there are many things/ outings i went/did with male friends and they were fun , i had fun without dating them , so why date for fun, counter productive in my opinion. two tips i know works in sifting guys for the one (and you are right you might just marry your friend which is perfect), is 1) marry a guy whose faults you can stand, the less you have to tolerate the less friction in the marriage 2) marry a guy who you would love it if your son turned out like him in character..just my two cents ....sorry for the long comment..ill go back to stalking now :)

  4. very true...sometimes we want a non existing prince while we have kings all around us...nice post, i really hope more people will get off the prince charming search horse..

  5. @ade: I haven't started looking for a husband yet. First things first. LOL. Besides what's the point of dating someone i can't see myself being with for the long haul? I don't see the point of dating just to date. That's what you do as a teenager. There are some people you know from day zero that you cannot marry so why waste time? As for looking out for potential, why is that a problem? I could as well be holding out for someone who is already a baller :) At least i am still being considerate of people who are still on the journey. Besides, what i consider potential might not be what u consider potential. You really don't expect me to go date someone with just a high school diploma who works as a cashier at Walmart and has no plans of going back to school. Let's be realistic here. Anyway, that's not what the post was about. I think u missed the point of this post.

    @Anonymous: Are u a virgin? Do you want to have sex before marriage? :) Over to you.

    @Jemima: I agree and i love long comments.

    @Misslara: Thank you.

  6. My perfect man, my soulmate turned out to be the man I kept as a sex-buddy for many years. While I went about searching... Imagine my surprise the day I realized that I had him all along and didn't know it.

    Great post.

  7. LOOOL I am feeling extra eexxxtra :) Thanks o.chai I should have read your old blog post o..

    LOL @ prince charming

    Yes sometimes the thing we are looking for is right there..We just have to use our head to make the decision not our heart. Use your head to find a potential mate not your heart..I just think the heart is deceiving and thats how people miss out on something great just because they dnt feel anything for him/her.

    @adebsrk, I do agree that when you meet a guy marriage shouldnt be the first thing to mind, however, if you are attracted to the person, you cant help but ask if you see a future with the person. I dont believe in dating for the sake of it, my heart is too precious to go around. It wasnt built to travel rather to stay with me till I become cleave to the right person..

  8. This is such an interesting post and I know a few people who would say all the same things that you're saying.

    I have no answers, I just think that there is no need to rush into things until you're as sure as you think you can ever be. Marriage is for life oh, so just because everybody tells you such and such guy is fab and 'why don't you just date him' doesnt make him right for you. Sometimes you cant put your finger on things - you just have a feeling, a je ne cest... a little spark that you can't explain. If its not there, then it isnt. You can;t force it.

    Ok, now I sound like I'm giving advice - bah! I guess it's clear that I believe in the butterflies and the romance and the longing looks...

    Last point, I saw somewhere once (I think on a Jazmine Sullivan video of all places) the following:

    'passion makes the world go round, love just makes it a safer place'...

  9. Even though what you're doing might be a lil bit disastrous,it could still work.In most cases though,to find a good husband,he first must be a good boyfriend.

  10. @A-9ja-great: I'm not sure what you mean by what i'm doing is disastrous because i totally agree with what you said. I am of the opinion that i cannot think of marriage to anyone until i am in a good relationship with them, before i can now say, so what's the next step. I don't believe in putting the cart before the horse.

    I don't meet a guy and start thinking of marriage. Anyone who knows me well in real life knows that.

  11. ARGH! This is why I don't read comments before commenting myself. Now I am torn!


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