Thursday, April 15, 2010


I've been thinking about expectations in relationships. Over the years i have had to adopt the saying that never expect anything so you won't be disappointed. At the same time, how realistic is it to have no expectations from the person you are in a relationship with? I don't think it's realistic at all. It's easy to say and believe but hard to do.

I also think the expectations in a LDR relationship are different. Most of the daily interaction of that relationship takes place over the phone or on the internet (Skype, messenger etc). Given that there would at least be that expectation that both parties call regularly. If you are going to call whenever you feel like, what differentiates you from a regular friend? I hate LDR's btw, i don't think i will be embarking on another one if this one doesn't work out. I'm about to go crazy from all the stress. My last relationship was with someone who lived 10mins from me, but we would only see like once or twice a week because i was working 2 jobs and he switched his work schedule so he would have weekends off, knowing that i worked weekends. Anyway, even though we lived close to each other, since we didn't see all the time, we spent a lot of time on the phone. We would fight all the time, up to the point where we both noticed that we only fought on the phone and we got alone perfectly in person. So just imagine my present predicament.

Anyhoodle, i think there's some basic expectation from a significant other and telling someone not to having any expectations so they won't be disappointed and be more appreciative is a cop out from responsibility. So i was asked what the basic expectations are and to me, it's
  • Keep in touch regularly, it doesn't have to be everyday but it better be if he knows what's good for him :))
  • Act like you care. If you like pretend that's on you but i don't want to have to question whether you care about what's going on with me or not.
  • Communicate. Talking over stuff cannot be overemphasized in any relationship.
To me those are pretty basic stuff. I don't think i'm asking for too much.


  1. Hmmn... This is interesting...

    I got a post on my blog now . It is called Relationship drama; love story gone bad.... You should check it out

  2. Sometimes,I'm happy I'm single really cause I don't want to be unhappy anymore or be moody and depressed,not sleep well at night cause I'm bothered about little things.
    Love sucks and the intricacies of relationships more so.
    Thank you so much for voting for me dear.You've been such a wonderful friend.Hope you good?Take care

  3. I think it wud be better if pple actually state their expectations before going into a relationship...That solves the problem right there!Kpom!!!!

  4. WOW!!!
    you so nailed the points,I really really like this post :-)))

  5. so true about stating expectations before going into a relationship, 'cause that way both parties know what their getting into

  6. agreed! thats all i ask for as well! keeping in touch is soo key!

  7. You're not asking for much at all. Those are the basic expectations really, for me the last would come first. Communication is very important to me.

  8. i agree that you are not asking for much, i wish you great times in this relationship!!

  9. true words Myne, basic communication is very key.
    Expectations are natural, we all need to feel special and loved and cared for.

  10. this your list is very like!

  11. One should not have expectations of ....strangers.

    If one is in a relationship then there are obviously basic things to be expected some of which you mention. Unless, it is agreed at the onset that no expectations are the name of the game, obviously.

    Hmmm...relationships. And they don't get easier, they require a constant balance of varying factors. Na wa.

    Hope all is well.

  12. I used to say I'd learnt not to expect much so that mess-ups wouldn't surprise/upset me. It wasn't until a friend pointed out to me that this makes for a bad foundation for a relationship that I started working to change my ways.

    It's good to have expectations, but they shouldn't be anything beyond what you can do yourself.

    I like your list.


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