Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Lessons 101

I believe that life is a learning process and we need to learn from our experiences. I like to share anything that i have learned in the hopes that someone out there might find it useful. One thing that i have lived through and know for sure is that fear is an evil spirit and if u let it, it will take complete control over you. Besides dealing with my gastritis which was out of control when i first started school, i had to deal with one of my deans after i had pretty much struggled through medical genetics and failed the first anatomy exams. The one thing that meeting with my dean left me with was fear. I forgot who i was and what i was capable of and let the fear of failing take over my existence. You really don't retain much or can even fully concentrate when u are studying in fear. All i could hear in my head were the words of the dean.

I was in school all day and only went home to sleep, there were some days i even slept in school. I studied my butt off, but i was studying in fear. I lost my self confidence and forgot who i was. I made med school this huge obstacle in my eyes and it was a constant struggle. Sure enough, my first block grades were abysmal. I failed Devo and Biochem woefully. All that studying for nothing. The thing i was most afraid of had happened, and the dreaded second meeting with my dean was going to happen, whether i liked it or not. I went to that meeting and she straight up told me she doesn't think i will pass this semester. I'm not going to lie, she got me at my core.

Funny how since i started Med school, Joel Osteen's teachings have always come through for me. I get his daily messages and subscribe to his podcast. I heard this message he had "activating faith instead of fear" and something just clicked. I said to myself "na book dey do me like this?" Book? School is my thing. I have always been a "good student". Never, ever struggled in school, so why now of all times did i find myself at the bottom of my class? In this med school that i have been dreaming of attending since i was 6 yrs old!!!! I let that fear go and told myself as long as it was something that was written in a book and i was expected to learn, i was more than equal to the task.

I went from a 52 to an 88 in biochem, 66 to 98 in anatomy (got one question wrong in both lab and lecture), and a 64 to an 87 in devo. Fuck what u heard!!! It wasn't enough to dig me out of the hole i was already in, but i am freaking proud of myself. I'm a fighter and sometimes u have to fight for what u want. I'm still in the game and one day, i will graduate with that M.D degree and be the best freaking doctor i can possibly be. Might even be a much better doctor than i would have ever hoped to be cos of this experience.

Bottom line is never let fear take over your life and make you doubt your abilities. Know yourself!!!! Never let anyone tell u what u can or cannot do. Be confident enough in your abilities to be able to look past what is right in front of you and see what is ahead.

You live and you learn.

18 comments:

  1. Happy New Year Sting! I'm happy to hear that you are doing much better!

    I definitely have been encouraged by this post an I'll keep this lesson learned.

    Have a wonderful week!

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  2. i hope you continue to strive to be better.happy new year dear and i love joel.

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  3. I'm so glad for you to read this. Keep your faith alive and know the child of who you are. You'll be fine!

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  4. Glad things are working out fo u
    what doesnt kill u make u stronger

    Lifes lesson always live us with the strength to face th future
    am glad u got on ur feet and kicked med school in d butt

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  5. When d challenges come they equip us for
    Greater oportunities.truly we can do all things thru
    Him dat infuses strength into us.

    Dis a good lesson learnt,all d best in med sch

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  6. U go gurl...Love the Attitude of an Overcomer.
    Fear is the single greatest weapon the enemy has to keep you from God's best.
    Dont let the power of fear steal ur joy.So shake it off.Its 2010.Lets get it!!!!

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  7. So glad you got out of that rut! Fear just cripples us...Job said 'what i feared greatly has come upon me'!
    You're a winner and win you will!

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  8. Good one..thanks for d lesson

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  9. This just inspired me this morning! I needed to read it!..thank you! have a great week!

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  10. erm the swearing surely got me awake from the comfort and mushiness of the story it was like blam...lol...erm keep keepin on and with that attitude nothin can stand in ur way

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  11. Happy New year!!!! and thank you so so so so much for this post! I needed to read it...and might read it every day until this school paranoia leaves me...fear is the most destructive feeling there is :(

    I am really happy for you, and the whoa! improvements in your grades..you go girl!

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  12. HAPPY NEW YEAR....
    if i could make it thru med school..then u will make it... my classmate finished 2005....i finshed 2008... believe me when i say ...U WILL MAKE IT IN JESUS NAME AMEN...
    GOD IS FAITHFUL....SO FAITHFUL....

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  13. Good for you!!!
    I am loving this attitude of yours.

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  14. Thank u guys for all ur comments. They mean a lot to me. You guys are awesome and a wonderful source of support, believe it or not.

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  15. YAY STING!!!

    I'm happy for you girl. You had me worried for a minute. I love your spirit and your dedication.

    All the best with the rest of med sch.

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  16. just what i needed to read! thanks for the encouragement !

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  17. Fear occurs mostly in humans not because we can't handle it but because we are apprehensive of the situation unseen though, i think it really hard letting go your fear, but it's a wise thing to.

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