Monday, March 30, 2009

Hellooo, I'm Bri ish!

I wan die, i wan die, i wan die! Chineke God in heaven. I no fit again. I know i said i might be laying this blog to rest but i just can't help this post. I have been fighting it since saturday, i no fit again.

My friend whom i've know since 1993, e don dey, we practically grew up in boarding school together, is here visiting from the UK and she wan use pho'ne take kill me. The british accent na die. I don think, think, think, i no see how i wan take tell am say make she sofry dey blow the accent. She doesn't talk like that to me oh! She knows better, i don dey warn am back in the day when we dey talk for phone. If she wan try am, i go say "wetin dey worry u? Na me u dey pho'ne for?" She has only been in the UK since 2004 oh, e never tay like that so this one no be natural accent at all.

We went to walmart to go look for a power adapter so she can charge her stuff, as soon as people come near us like this, this chic start to give them the british accent (na me she dey talk to oh, but that accent can't be for my benefit). I had to hold myself, make i no go talk something wey she go use take hate me. I just jejely waka leave am for there. E dey talk, i dey nod head dey waka go.

Yesterday, my friend took us out oh, na so she dey blow pho'ne. The yeye boy sef no be better person, he was just eating it up. Well, he's too akata to know any better. I wan die. It was just a little too much. By the way, did i tell u guys i was told by a dude at my job that he's sure i'm a ghetto Nigerian because his roommate who has just been in this country for 3 yrs sounds very polished/british which is so unlike how i sound. I just weak for the boy, talk no let me talk. I just siddon dey look am.

You see how these Nigerians go about forming accents and making the rest of us look bad. Which one be ghetto Nigerian again? I've been here since 2002 oh, and when i want to talk, i open my mouth and the words come out anyhow they come out. I no get power. This same akatanised friend of mine (the dude who took us out) has told me i have a hybrid accent and that he's sure it's the pidgin english that's spoiling my accent. I cussed him that day eh! Yet, i will call Nigeria and my friends will be shouting that my accent is changing, say who i think say i dey spree for. No be small thing. Let's not even talk about my naija friends that have never left the country that will be spreeing for ME when i call. Na me go come dey beg them say, abeg uncle chill for me na, which kind oyibo u dey speak. I wanna, wanna. That shit pisses me off.

I feel a little better now that this is off my chest. My friend is going to be here for a minute, so let's see how well i tolerate it before i yab her out of that nonsense, or maybe i should just mind my business like my akatanised friend warned me yesterday. Me and my friend that came to visit are not very close, and i have been accused of being blunt on numerous occasions by numerous people, so i might just leave matter for mattias. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings but i'm highly irritated by the fake accent i no go lie.

P.S. I didn't say i was going to stop blogging. I'm still thinking of what direction to take. This blog is done (or maybe not!) Kisses, my sweets!


  1. LMAO!!! Ghetto Nigerian STING!
    But i agree with u sha. As far as i pronounce my words correctly, anybody that doesn't like my accent shd go and die.
    These days, i can understand
    if and when Nigerians speak pho'ne for oyibo ppl, but me i jus can't take it when they also try it for me. Like seriously, which levels?

    Anywhoos, lady Sting, leave matter 4 Mattias true, true, allow d babe make she dey blow her tin dey go.
    Na she get her mouth.

  2. mizchif: from where??? anyho am second!!
    lol at ur "british" friend!! i guess its for the attention cuz yankee people love the british pho'ne....they say it sound like the queen...if only they knew!!!

  3. I tire for the matter o... The way pally come take dey form sef ehn, u go believe say Madam Eliza na dem amam.. Mscheew.

    LOL @ Ghetto Nigerian. God pass dem jare.. Norrin do u!

  4. i feel you ooooooooo

    i mean it is one thing to be forcing phoene it is another thing if it comes naturally
    i run into people who tell mii i'm not nigerian cuz i don't have an accent and i'm thinking 10 FREAKING YEARS YOU IDIOTS what do you expect

    and then i run into poeple who just got off the boat and it's like STOP TRYING SO HARD cuz it will come eventually and you will start to lose you as you find u

    but yeah

    don't leave us ooooooooooo

  5. the truth of the matter is that british accent is hot in yankee! and ur friend knows this and is milking it for all its worth.
    even naija pple in naija have accents too, schew! im tired of complaining about it sef.

  6. British accent is HOT! The real one i mean. If you got it... flaunt it!

  7. loooooool!i soooo feel u on dat one my sista!! abeg dnt leave!!

  8. Man, don't hate.I'm bri'
    Some people get accents before others I guess. My pops sounds kinda naija britico but my mum sounds strictly naija and they have both been here for 25 years. But you know, dropping one's 'T' is frowned on here, if she really wanted to form, she should have said 'one is British'...


    "leave matter for Matthias"



    ghetto Nigeria ke?

    i cant stop laffing!

    pls allow the bri'ish chick abeg

  10. @ Bumight & nice anon
    For real? British accent is hot in yankee?
    Or is that just among naija folks in yankee?

  11. I guess naija must always form some kain levels..

    PS.. This link here should work in updating your Afrobabe link on your blogroll!


  12. All the people with their fake accents crack me up! The one I don't get is the people in yankee who have never lived in jand that form bri'ish accents with their innit and what not!
    If you change your blog, be sure to let me know. I remember when I first started reading this blog you had just moved from a different blog.
    PS: You guys really did a GREAT job with the blogger awards. Well done.

  13. LOL@ Bri'ish...i no fit shout.

    No be so dem dey do for jand tho'...? They be blowing pho'ne with friends and family and i'm looking at them wondering if they don't get tired...i mean u put up an accent at work...u go com reach house dey ta pho'ne again? i taya oh

    A nicely done naija-bri'ish accent is nice to hear tho' :D

  14. hahahahhahahahha pho'ne!
    loooool....@ him being to akata to kno any better.
    then GHETTO sure ill fall under that category..ok mayb not!

  15. lmao...i laff wen i call naija and they blow fone for me!

  16. RocNaija: British accent is hot to me oh and I reckon to most people in yankee. The nice posh one oh not the my name is sting innit type.

  17. LOL@gnetto nigerian.... nansense!!!

  18. Some people pick accents up easily, while some...err never seem to get around that.
    I say stick to being you jor. As for the ghetto comment....SMH

  19. I love the british accent any time, any day but only the authentic one. I don't like anything fake. Just be yourself.

    As for being a ghetto Nigerian, that's the new black. Besides the person who said that to me, is just an ignorant white dude. What does he know about accents.

  20. ha ha ha ha !! I find this so funny ..I'm a Nigerian who was born n bred in london and i tell you when I hear some people who were not bred here try to use a British accent I just fall on the floor laughing. It's not by force even me sef I don't try to force myself with the accent. Though I suppos eit's good people are trying to adapt because regardless where Nigerians go they want EVERYONE to kknow they are NIGERIAN ( well most of them anyways)

    nice blog hun!

  21. i know what u mean. my brother & my mom relocated to UK in 2004. e no reach 6 months dem go oh, na em my ajepaco brother begin dey blow phonee. kai. i vex. i was like WTF. till today, he still talks like dat but i don tire to dey yab am. so once we start talking on d phone, i urge him 2 speak Igbo. At least, i dey understand dat one. what he speaks doesn't even sound like English to me sef

  22. LMAO @ I wanna I wanna. Hope to see more posts

  23. Hmmm, suffer 'em not. If only they knew that the worth of a (wo)man is not in the diction of their 'accent' but, the content (or depth) of their mind, they would have dared to speak with authority (at least, on subjects they are schooled in).


  25. Abeg me I don tire for this topic. LOL. It is so disgusting, What about those Nigerians that have never been anywhere but Lagos. The accent sounds like a hybrid of Austrialian, Chinese, British and American accents.
    What about at work? Especially when people are making a sales pitch of sorts, you go just wan die.


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