Friday, July 9, 2010

Sting and a married man


Yes, u read that right but no...........it's not what you think. So there's this guy at my job, i remember the first time i saw him when i first started working there, i thought he was cute. We had a conversation one day when they had movie night and i found out he was from haiti. I like his accent, it's one of those nice sounding accents that you can't place the origin, I guess cos he's been here for a while. Anyway, last week we were standing at the nurses station chatting while he was doing some paper work and his phone was on the table. He asked me to put in my number. I think he called the next day and we talked about stuff. Me being me, i like to ask questions and never assume anything, but long story short, he mentioned he was married probably like the second conversation. Ok!!!!!

Now, mind you, i wasn't interested in him that way (I have someone else that has my attention at the moment: ;), but i didn't know what to think. I've never made friends with a young guy who was married.... well, if i remember correctly i have. It was this one dude who was like 28 at the time whose wife was in Nigeria. He ended up liking me and i had to nix the friendship as soon as he crossed the line with the endearments and calling me 20 times a fay. Now this guy, he lives with his wife. I notice he never talks to me at home, he calls usually when he is driving and the one time he talked to me at home, his wife was at work. Now i have to say that the dude has not crossed the line at all. We just talk about stuff and when i asked him what he wanted from me (yes, i dey crase like that), he said the first time he spoke to me, he got the impression that i was smart and his smartest students when he was a teacher were Nigerians and he has an affinity for Africans. So according to him, he wanted to test his hypothesis about me. He is a therapist at the hospital and i have sat in on this group sessions and he is pretty good, so i told him that what i could get out of the friendship was free therapy. He thought that was very funny, but i wasn't joking o!

Anyway, i really don't know how comfortable i am starting a friendship with a young man (28 years old) who is married. We spoke on Tuesday when i saw him at work, but i haven't called him and he hasn't called since Monday. He asked why i never call and that he doesn't usually do back to back calling (like call someone everyday) unless they call him back. He's cool and all that and i'm sure he will make a good friend but i don't just want anyone's wife to call me up one day and tell me to leave her husband that i did not want in the first place. Not sure if there is a balanced way to go about this friendship or should i just ditch the whole thing?

16 comments:

  1. as long as he is not making advances i really dont think its a big deal.

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  2. Yeah..as long as it's just free therapy, no harm in being friends-Just friends.

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  3. Just like the other guys, the day he crosses the line, nix it. Till then, enjoy a new friendship..

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  4. I think i'm gonna go with the others as well... since u r going in with pure intentions and he has said its just friendship, then i fink its cool. U neva know u may meet his wife, and u'll all become like family friends (oki that just sounded cheezy). Yah, if he starts doing/saying anything funny - run!

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  5. Hmmmm...be alert!...DON'T LET HIM CROSS THE LINE!...DON'T REVEAL TOO MUCH TO HIM DURING THE FREE THERAPY SESSION...why doesn't he call you from home if he sees you as a 'RESEARCH?' He could had explained to his wife...even if she is the jealous type like me...*grinning*
    BE CAREFUL DEAR....MARRIED MEN USUALLY START WITH 'PITY-TALKS i.e, my wife don't really know me, can't cook, is dirty, not sexy, not good on bed... blah blah... then the 'I- WISH- I -HAD- MET -YOU- EARLIER-TALKS'..then SPOILING YOU WITH GIFTS & ATTENTION! Just shine your eye o!

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  6. Nitty gritty is right on point. be careful...

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  7. ditto on what nitty says. i'll take that advice too. take care and good luck.

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  8. just leave it at friendship...nothing wrong there

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  9. Hmmm...be alert and one of my Favourite phrase is always this ; NA FROM CLAP E DEY ENTER DANCE! ...lol...no let dem pour acid on u oooo

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  10. follow your instincts, if it don't smell right, run. Atleast you know so you can be on your guard.

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  11. Nitty don yarn the matter o! Next thing now he will want you to come and dance "jata jata" on top his bed as a free "therapy" session kwa. Nne run jare!

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  12. LOL..... guys, there's no real free therapy session. I was just telling him that that's the only advantage i see having him as a friend. I have given him a long rope. I'm not comfortable being friends with him, so i decided to bone. I no want wahala. Like sisi yemmie said, na from clap dem take dey enter dance, i no wan dance, so i no clap again o!

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  13. NO clap again o. While I don't think you should totally end the friendship, esp since you think he's cool, be very cautious sha. In fact, as about his wife, if he has any kids, etc etc. And just try to get a feel of his family life. If he's comfy with talking to you about her, then fear not.

    My eyebrows are raised at the not-talking-when-his-wife-is-around bit. You be sharp babe, try and find out why he does that.

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  14. lol watch dat nucca cross the line....keep us posted.



    Regards
    www.seunbankole.com

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  15. iv also wondered about this..if its ok to be friends with a married man cause a couple of my male friends are married and sometimes it feel somehow..bt as long as he aint crossed the line..methinks its ok sha..yall can be friends.jus b kiaful!

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  16. I agree with everyone and I think there's a balance. But I also know that you're human so Pls, guard your heart. There's nothing that says it might not be him but you who gets smitten.

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