Saturday, March 27, 2010

Relationship games

Sometimes in life, despite our best intentions or our best efforts things don't always turn out as we would like. Right now, it seems like nothing is going "right" in my life. I had to take a leave of absence from school and go back in August to start over, the only thing worse than that would have been if i was kicked out of school. So as sad as i tend to get at times, i have to remember that. It doesn't make me feel better, but i remember it.

My relationship is crap! That's my head talking. He's a fine, fine boy. That has always been my weakness. I too like fine boys. Then again, I'm not bad looking myself. One of our ongoing battles is who is better looking, cos as much as i get compliments, he gets compliments also. The worst is all those shameless girls on facebook. Idiots. Anyway, i often tell him when i'm pissed, which is often these days, that his face was wasted on him cos he's such a horrible person. Horrible, horrible, selfish bastard. U will be SO wrong if u look at his face and use that to form an impression of his personality. He's an asshole X10! I think he was asleep when God passed out the niceness gene. Fine for nothing.

Tell me how the relationship is going to last when i think such nasty thots about him, but that's the reality. When i look at how he treats me, and i see all these guys that are dying to be with me (no joke or exaggeration), i wonder if i have lost my sanity somewhere. I'm taking deep breaths. Why can't i just walk away?

So right now after a series of events, i'm in the middle of playing relationship games as advised by one of my closest friends and endorsed by that devil's cousin.
  • Don't call him for 2 days
  • On the third day call him for no more than a minute (his cousin said i better set a timer so i don't exceed one minute cos he knows me)
  • Then wait and see if he calls me the next day. 
  • If he does, act normal like everything is fine. La dee dah!
  • Let him keep doing all the calling for a long time, until the relationship is balanced. 
  • If he doesn't pick up my call on the third day, give him an hour and call again. Maybe he was away from the phone (talk true!). 
  • If he doesn't pick up the second call, call one more time. 
  • If he doesn't pick up the third call, never call again. 
  • If he picks up the call and I talk for the prescribed one minute but doesn't call the next day or the next day, don't ever call him again. 
  • If he happens to call me before the 2 days are up, then talk like normal. Nothing happened, i'm not upset. We are still BFF's.
  • But let him do all the calling for a long, long time.  
My response to all this was, what the fuck is this nonsense about? Why should i be playing games at this age. His cousin's response was "Shut up and do it, you ask too many why's". Their point is, if i follow this plan to the tee, i would know for sure if he really wants to be in the relationship or not (like say na me toast am in the first place). He said i am no longer in control and i need to get that back. I should be the pursed and never the pursurer.

Na wa!

At this point i have to accept that sadness and disappointment are temporary and everything is going to be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.


  1. Lmao, sorry to hear, some guys can be such asses, nobody deserves to be treated that way.

    Have you talked to him about how you feel?

    Then again, as childish as some may see it, relationship games really do sometimes do the trick.

  2. Talking to him is a waste of my time. I'm tired of talking, he's tired of listening.

  3. i know you know this, but do you REALLY want to play games???

  4. ill have to come bk ...juicy topic

  5. I'd just simply say.. give the guy a freaking break.. He's made you so unhappy for sometime now.. Its extended to everything else.. What with what you're going through,he should be there to support you..Don't let no man triavalise your feelings or make you a slave to it..
    Give yourself a break.What are you calling for?Just not necessary right now.. Maybe he'd call,if he does.. then you guys sort it out but don't be the one to initiate it.
    I'm talking too much.Take a break off him.

  6. the game makes a lot of sense atleast to me.or maybe its just the child in me thats talking.

  7. MY oh my the game wateva it is does not work sis been there done that,,,men shut down as soon as u open ur mouth ...its been proven over and over again ...the only thing that works for them is noncomfrontational kinda silence...let him have his space and like the others said if hes up for it he'll come chasin if not...he'll not know wen they want somethin and they guard it cos thats their nature ...if they dont want it that badly thats wen u see them chilling and acting like they dont give a damn cos truely...if it aint worth fightin for they wont fight for it,..wat am i saying...?

    if he loves it enuff hell put a ring on it...not physically but hell keep the chase to the end...and all that talkin to him about it ...dont work for men...theyre more pjhysical beings...with their fellow men if theres trouble they fight,..with a woman they walk away or just go quiet...advice say ur piece like u said u have and leave him to it...dont drown him to strangulation mode with talking if he wants u ...he'll chase after u once again..i too talk sef!

  8. Sting, what's with the games? Why don't you straight up ask him if he wants to be with you or not? Sounds like you don't want to be with him anymore, why not just tell him like it is and quit wasting both of you's time?
    I mean, i assume you have some degree of communication between you seeing as you're in a relationship, so just come out with it and leave the game playing to teeny-boppers. Like you often say, life's too short to muck about.

  9. first time here and I totally love this blog!except its been sad for a while.. Just know where you stand with him by calling or you don't call at all, give him and yourself a break.I think you need to come up for some fresh air.

  10. If I was in your exact situation, the relationship would be over. I wouldn't bother playing any games. If you know the guy's character is not what you want in a man, why bother?

    You're right: if it's not ok, then it's not the end. These difficult situations will not topple you.

    Chin up!

  11. go fear game na.

    GNG: its easy to say end the rship, but truly how easy is it to just walk out...its not easy jare.

    Sting: I understand what the cousin means by no longer being in control...that's the dis-advantage of falling in love...u fall, u lose control. and that aint good at all....but these games na long thing ooo...u sure u want to do this?

  12. i dont believe in playing games...least of all relationship games cuz well, the heart is always candid advice is walk away...

  13. Im with GNG..sometimes it is not worth it...This is your situation, you have to do what is best for you, for your own wellbeing...

  14. I have a novel idea! WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK HIM STRAIGHT UP if he wants to be in the relationship or not? OR maybe you are not ready for the answer?

    Games are pointless! Just talk to him for goodness sake. If (or when) he doesn't do all the "things" that have been suggested he should do based on these "tests", then what will you do? Be mad at him for failing a test he didn't know he was taking?

    Just ask him straight up if he still wants to be in the relationship and be prepared for the answer.

  15. But if you don't like his character what's the point of finding out whether he wants to be in a relationship with you? I guess i'm not clear on what it is you want here. I hope you find clarity on this and things fall into place for you with school.

  16. "sadness and disappointment are temporary and everything is going to be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end."

    That my dear is all that is important. Games are SO unnecessary.
    It is not fair to yourself as well, so WHY?
    plus WHY is a very good question to ask, lest you go around like a zombie doing things and not having a reason to justify your actions.

    If it's not working, it's just not working. #ontothenextone

  17. There should be a level one will reach where mind games become stupid lol

  18. speaking from experience, any guy u need to play these games with, isn't worth d trouble! but sha, who knows, i may be wrong here.

    P.S: u know one of d reasons i married my husband, cos i never had to play games!


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