Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Make una see as i don dey sabotage my life o! E be like say person dey voodoo me, no be small thing. I'm so irritable these days, every thing annoys me.

Anyhoo, i have booked my flight to go find an apartment next weekend. My maama is coming with me, hopefully i find an affordable place with covered parking and heat included in the rent. I no fit dey shovel snow everyday. Cold wan kill me for Atlanta, only God know how i will survive over there. I'm really really mentally tired.

To be honest, i don't think i know how to be happy. I just fill my life with all these activities so i don't have time to think. I don't know what to do with myself when i'm not working. I can't relax, i don't enjoy my free time. After much talk about quitting my hospital job, i couldn't bring myself to turn in my two weeks notice. I scheduled my last working day to be May 16th and was supposed to quit officially on the 31st but i couldn't do it. The weekend i didn't work was just weird. I ended up going in on the 29th but i hated every moment of it. I just can't stand being there. What's wrong with me?

My last day at the lab is the 19th of this month. I am looking forward to it, esp since i'm going to get paid until the end of July (i didn't get paid in Feb). I can't wait to stop but at the same time, i am scared that i would go crazy out of my mind if i'm not occupied.

That crazy dog is over there snoring like everything is right with the world, when it isn't. I should go and wake him just for the hell of it. I have to take him to the vet tomorrow for some bootleg skin infection. Only God knows the hundreds of dollars i'm going to spend. That vet is just fleecing the hell out of me.

P.S. How do u stop fighting with someone you really nice and who is very sweet to u but for whatever reason you guys can't stop fighting?


  1. where u going to move to hun?
    Cold wan kill u for Atlanta? Atlanta isn't cold my dear.
    Maybe when you do move and get things more organized and in order, you will feel more satisfied? One thing I learnt when I "grew up" was my own limits. Not to push myself too hard. That doesn't mean I still don't do that though - I push myself too hard all the time but I am getting better. Sure, happiness depends on ur conditions, but I think learning how to be thankful and notice all the blessings really helps. I joined the thankful club on blogville just to challenge myself and appreciate things in my life more and it does help, but takes practice. Lol @ at ur comment about ur dog. I always say the same thing. Why is everything so easy for him? lol.

    As for ur question about how to stop fighting..I feel like I know too little to give any advice. There must be something that triggers the fights? Are u guys so alike it just crashes or what?

    Hun I hope ur feeling better. Relax and take a breath. I think ur doing a lot of wonderful thigns (like ur new blog) and getting a personal trainer is brave of u. So give urself a pad on the back!

  2. You sound fustrated and stressed. Pele. I think you also need a break, take a vacation, forget about everyone, think about yourself...try and remember the things you loved to spend time doing before, pick them up again during your vacation. you need some ME time.
    Hope you find the apartment. I have a friend like that, she's so nice and she'll always be there for me but we fight a lot. Have you tried sitting down to talk about it?

  3. Cold for Atlanta ke?
    Msceewwww, come move up here in Canada make you know wetin be cold.
    We have this insatiable desires which i just don't understand! even when we are supposed to be satisfied, we rn't! Lika Ada said, probably when you do move, you know, fresh start, the feeling will go.
    Just be thankful for who you are and what you have. some people are less fortunate so why u? think about it! :)

    As for the fighting...*clears throat*
    "If this isn't love, tell me what it is, L-O-V-E, what it means to you" (i'm joking oh, the song was playing and felt appropriate)
    i think sparks are flying. happens to me most of the time, and does it piss me off!

    Just look forward to the new move..

  4. The fighting... My dear, emmm, y'all are just fronting. Lol. But seriously though, I think that phase normally goes away, but if it doesn't you may have to make each other understand that you need some time apart, you know... Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

    I think you have to let yourself live. You have to find things that you enjoy doing, that are not assignments, or that you don't have to be accountable for. My cousins and family always complain that I don't know how to relax. I always have an excuse for not sitting my butt at home, or just chilling. If I was forced to stay at home, I'd throw myself a small party, music blaring, dancing all over the place, all by my lonesome. I recently found the weirdest thing to help me relax - sudoku puzzles.

    Being happy doesn't always mean that there's excitement in your life. It really is the ability to free your mind of all worries for that moment. I have a feeling you're almost as much of a busybody as I am (used to be, in Jesus name). People like me feel like silence is biting them; That just lying on your bed without sleeping is a sin.

    I'm learning that the body needs to relax. It's a stress relief tactic, and it also balances your chi (and would make us proud Fatbusters!)

    So, teach yourself to relax. You may surprisingly find JOY in the simplest things.

    (My comment is almost as long as your post, lol)

  5. Hey Ms. Sting, how are you?

    Take a deep breath, let it out, do it one more time, exhale...

    You are probably going through your quarterlife crisis when everything feels like it's out of place and the shoulda, coulda, woulda seem to creep up from nowhere.

    Stop focusing on anything outside of you for a little while and start focusing inward... A LOT. Meditate or pray or just stay in silence not doing anything. Let your mind wander and your body relax... It seems like you are really unhinged (I could feel it throughout the post) and it's not healthy for a new start.

    You need to detox. Your brain, your life, your thoughts. Happiness(or should I say Joy?) is a decision that only YOU can make. Nothing or nobody can make you happy but YOU.

    If you feel like talking, please don't hesitate to shoot me an email @ mssula79@gmail.com.

    Take care darling!

  6. i hope u find a really great apartment. It seems ur stressed and dont wanna deal with it. I suggest you stop working as soon as you can and just take some personal time, doing something you love or something u've always wanted to try out...... go for a massage, or something relaxing and think of all that makes u happy......

  7. Around the end of last year I was in a horrible mood for most days. Everyone and everything pissed me off. I quit blogging then self. I still don't know why I was that way. But the feelings passed because I decided to be happy. I know it sounds weird but I made a conscious effort to do things that make me happy. I love watching TV shows and movies, I talk to my friends that make me happy (not people who remind me that my world has problems).

    By God's grace you will move and get a better and happier job. Moving from jobs can be hard. I know because out of three years at my former office, I spent two years complaining and yet being afraid to move despite the fact that I got other jobs.

  8. Take it easy my lady. I don’t know what to say to you but you have got to get out of these things taking away your happiness please.
    The person you talk of, if is a guy and both of you are fighting, it might be that you both have strong affection for each other and you are trying to hide it or may be you both need a break.


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