Thursday, September 18, 2008

Gray area on Gold digging

Guys, i don tire. Me and my dog went on an hour long walk today. It was so funny how when we came home, he ate, lay down and crashed. I'm happy, he has too much energy abeg! So onto my gist. Anybody that has been reading this blog knows that i have a "thing" for cute guys. God help me. So there's this cutie that i knew from afar. We both knew each other, but we were not on talking terms. We went to the same private lesson (all u naija pple know what i'm talking about) when we were about 14 yrs old, but he came to the states in like '98. Anyway, a couple of years ago i got to speak to him, and after listening to him for a minute, tears came to my eyes. How could God have wasted such a fine face on such a prick, i would never understand. I can't!

He went on about how he doesn't date naija girls cos we are all gold diggers (in my mind i'm thinking, which gold this fool get wey person wan dig?), then he went on to say that my friend who lives in the same state as him should come around so that he can look at her. WTF?! You don't date naija girls, but u would do her the favor of checking her out to see if u can manage her??!!!! I almost slapped him through that phone. I swear to God. When he was rattling off his number, neither of us bothered to take it down. I just dey vex. See fine boy wey just waste like that. E still dey pain me. Mschewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, that was the first time i heard Nigerian girls are supposed to be certified gold diggers. I didn't pay too much attention to him anyway, cos anybody that hates where they are from, and the people, might as well go hang themself cos that means they hate themselves. Which reminds me of The Gambian, who hates gambian girls but wants to date me cos i'm different. Ok....... pls explain. I might not be from Gambia but i'm African, and it's very likely i'll be similar to a Gambian chic, at least in my principles and values. That boy is just a fool, more about him in a minute cos he's a crucial part of this gist.

So in the last few months, a couple of guys that want to wife me (another story for another day) have told me that one of the main things they love about me is that i'm not materialistic. I was truly surprised. Since when did that become a compliment/criteria for choosing a wife? So i asked the last person that said that to me why that was such a big deal or even an issue to begin with. He said that a lot of girls in Nigeria judge your worth based on how much u have and how much they can get from u. They won't date u if u don't have money and all that good stuff. One of my friends actually told me that his girlfriend left him after he totaled his car cos she said she can't date a boy without a car, and this was after they had been together for years. I found that hard to believe at the time. I just felt there was more to it than that.

Anyway, i have never had close female friends that like to "chop" guys money. However, this one friend that i had last yr kind of exposed me a little bit to the mentality some girls have. They feel that just for the simple fact that they are females, they are entitled to whatever they can get out of guys. If they as much as look at u and smile, then u better be ready to pay up one way or the other. There were a number of guys who were trying to date her, even though she KNEW she would never date these guys she would accept stuff from them. One of them even took her shopping, and she went along and really picked stuff. We both knew the only reason that boy took her shopping was cos he wanted something from her, yet she went along even though she had no intention of dating that guy. Is that not why guys would think we are materialistic? At the end of the day, when the guy saw he wasn't making any headway and she kept on making requests, he called her a user to her face. How embarrassing is that? Shame for catch me if na me.

Which brings me to the perfect example of a guy who has bought into the notion that all women are materialistic and we can be bought with a few nice things. Me and The Gambian!!! So back then when i was still studying for the blasted MCAT, i was sitting on my own jejely in the library and this dude walks up to me. I initially thot he was walking past me cos that's how he acted, then he stopped and exclaimed that i was studying for the MCAT cos he saw my books. He said he wanted to go to med school too and all that jazz. He starts talking, asks if he can sit down, i was in a good mood that day, so i let him sit. Long story short, he says he would like to be my friend, we exchange numbers and i thot that was that. Later that evening, he calls and that's when i found out that he had seen me earlier and had pretended to be walking by just to talk to me. Then he goes on to say that he would have a surprise for me the next day. I'm wondering what in the world he is talking about but i didn't pay that too much attention.

The next day comes, this dude tracks me down and tells me to come to his car with him that he has a surprise for me. I told him that i had no intention of packing my books up just to walk to his car with him and that i would call him when i was done studying for the day. Then i called my friend in TX and ask him if i should go to the dude's car with him to see the "surprise". First of all, my friend refused to believe i had just met the guy a day b4, but the amebo in him wanted to know what the surprise was, so he told me to go and let him know. We get to the car, which he wants me to seat in by all means, i refused. Then he proceeds to bring out a black plastic bag. I open the bag and there's some bootleg "designer" perfume in there. He was like, it's very expensive, i have the male version (strike one). He takes out his perfume from his glove box and sprays it (strike two). Good lord! What in the world of all that's good and holy is that smell?!!! Sosorobia, but then again i'm not a perfume person.

Then there's another box inside the plastic bag that he tells me not to open until i get home. As e dey talk am, na so i dey grab the box dey open am. I'm like what's in the box that i can't see until i get home. Lo and behold, it was a Coach purse. I should have been impressed abi, but i wasn't. First of all, that dude doesn't know me. I don't like trends. If someone gave me the most expensive louis vuitton purse, i wouldn't carry it cos EVERYBODY and their maama has one, talkless of Coach. I would carry a $40 non designer purse b4 i carry a Coach purse. That's just me. I think it's so unoriginal to do what everyone else is doing, not that there's anything wrong with a Coach purse or whatever designer anything that's in style or vogue or fashion or whatever you want to call it. Secondly, i felt insulted that he would get me those stuff cos he was obviously trying to buy me. WTF?!! He was just trying to get a short cut into my panties and that pissed me the hell off. I asked him why in the world he would get me stuff when he just met me, and he said he likes to make pple he cares about happy. Wetin be that? When did i get on that list of pple? I still don't understand the logic. I asked him point blank if he was trying to buy me and he gave me another bullshit answer.

Then, as he drives me to the packing lot where my car was, he hands me a couple of pictures. The first one was a picture of his living room and his plasma screen TV in particular, and the second one was of his closet full of clothes (he had gone on and on about the designer clothes he likes to wear the day b4). You guys think i'm making this shit up, don't you? I kid u not!!! I was like, what is this for? He gave me a lame ass excuse that his sister took the pictures and he was just showing me. I asked him what was he showing me for, and he stammered his way through that. I couldn't wait to get out of his damn jeep. As i got down, i jejely left his coach purse and perfume in the back of the car where i had put it initially. He was too busy talking about how he wanted to spend time with me to notice. I could go on and on about more of the nonsense that he vomited but i'll stop here. The question is, why would he do that? WHY? Am i overreacting, or does anyone else think something is wrong with that picture?

I just concluded that it was a tactic he had tried with other females before and it worked. That's the only reason he would do that. When i went on about why he would buy me a gift and how i didn't feel comfortable accepting it. His response was, "this is why i don't date Africans. Y'all are too difficult". That statement alone sealed his fate. What nonsense! Thunder fire u. The boy no even too fine like that oh, wey e dey open e mouth talk that one. My point is, somewhere along the line, he had bought into the idea that women are materialistic and it's easy to win a girl over if u buy her stuff and make her aware that you have money (trust me, he ensure that i was aware he had money both directly and indirectly). I'm sure a lot of girls have proved him right. Stuff don't make me happy so it would be very difficult for me to like a guy just because he got me something.

Then i've started hearing from my friends back in naija that the guys are becoming "materialistic". They don't want to date a female that would be a liability. Instead, they are now looking for chics from rich families and stuff like that. I have no idea how true that is cos i haven't lived in naija in a while. It just makes me wonder.

This post is long enough as it is, so i'll stop here, go brush my teeth, wash my face, rub my face cream (medicated oh, and no i don't suffer from acne), put on my retainers (that i haven't worn in a week), wrap my hair, lay on my bed, think about my boyfriend that i don't have, shake my fist at God, and crash. I'm sure u wanted to know all that. Ha!


  1. I am first. I am first. YAY!!! I will send you the address that you will send my crown and cake too. I am going to go read now.

  2. Temite, crown PLUS cake ke? Only u..... abeg pick one. Or i could email u the picture of both. That should satisfy u abi?

  3. WOOW.
    first of all it is tru that alot of girls date guys based on what they can get from them. HOweveR, it is not exclusive to nigerians. we've all heard those songs about gold-digging babes, and Kanye hadnt been to nigeria when he wrote that!
    secondly, you are right to react anyhow you want. it IS an insult to babes who arent materialistic for a guy to think they can buy them- however, its very possible that most 9ja/black(i dunno oh! this is a purely kanye reference :P) guys hang around with babes with golddigging tendencies. i attribute this unfortunate incident to the poverty rates in Africa making the babes need to hustle...
    anyway. also, if it was a guy that had been toasting you tay tay, its all good in that it's part of the toasting formula. it'd be considered sweet and thoughtful if you like him, offensive if you dont like perfumes and pretentious if you hate designer bags :P

    thats my take on it all. even tho LORD knows i'da kept the purse, and never picked up his call after. he can choke on his photocopied 'designer' perf!!

  4. I lost it when you talked about the pictures. What!?! What did he take you for? I don't use negative words on people, but permit me to say he appears shallow and vain.

    I'm so proud of you. You're a good ambassador. He should have asked you what you like before concluding that africans are difficult...

    Long sigh...It is only going to get better...

  5. wow. just wow. u know, those guys r just asses. abt d naija men becoming materialistic, daz like word! especially n abuja, where they think every rich single woman has aristo, so they just want 2 eat off her hands.

    i know i did dat 'spending a man's money when i know i wasn't going to give him none' thing. 4 me, it was d game! he comes 2 me thinking his money will buy him d entrance 2 my veejayjay, & i explain 2 him along d way dat it just don't work dat way. i felt d lesson is better impressed on him if he lost some dough, dan wen he came out unscattered. anyways, dat was my uni-day runs, wen my parents were giving so little & i wanted 2 save as much as i could 4 d rainy days. these days, i earn my own money so i don't need any man's. d most i accept r dates, where he pays 4 it. anything else, no thank u.

  6. I have chopped billions of guys without dropper jack...

    its a sharpness game to me cos he planned to chop didn't he? I just won the game thats all!!!

  7. That was one crazy long post u did there but i loved it, i guess a lot of girls in naija are materialistic, hard as they try to lie its true, personally i love money yeah and that might term me materialistic but i guess its my love and not making it a prerequisite to date a guy

  8. That Gambian dude is a total twat and a loser. I feel any guy that feels he has to show you his car and pics of his wardrobe is REALLY LAME and suffering from a severe case of low self esteem.

    However, I think its a mutual thing. There are guys out there, who are equally shallow and looking for a hot chick, who in turn knows her popularity and will milk anyone that tries to get with her.

    Honestly, I don't interact with foreigners so I wouldn't know if they're as bad as us, BUT, its all about the people you hang out with IMO. I, personally, refuse to take gifts from someone I don't like, because I consider it using, and I have a conscience, also I don't want to be made to feel like I owe anyone anything. My friends too. Some other women will justify their materialism with the notion that the guy is SUPPOSED to provide them with stuff. Which is stupid.

    You're just like me sting, if you threw a designer bag at me I won't bat an eyelash. It's like, who cares? It's just a bag with a famous person's name on it. I'm so tired of this topic. Guys, if you keep meeting gold-diggers, its time to start re-addressing what ur doing that ur meeting them!

  9. that gambian guy wins my 2008 award for JACKASS of the year.

    keep being u jare Sting, "nothing do u"

  10. Have to say I agree with most of the comments here. Got your message.

  11. i like afrobabe!

    but seriously, African guys need to stop putting their own women down.

  12. i wont lie to you..i almost didnt believe!! as in are u being serious??? looool!!!

    my take on materialismn is that its a symbiotic relationship. one person gets something. i mean the guy can afford the stuff- in return he gets the girls company or wateva-or gets into her pants- everyone is happy!! whats materialistic about that??

    all these rich old men- they never go for ugly babes..they go for hot babes- the babes go for their money..everyone is happy!!

    that said- if this ur scenario happened to me- i would have just laughed my head off!! as in really-they guy should be able to determine who wants what...he actually has no sense!! lol


  13. In a relationship, I expect my man to take me out, spoil me with surprise gifts. I dont think that is being materialistic but that is just my opinion.
    For a guy who is still asking you out to buy you gifts, i agree that he has an ulterior motive too.

    Another thing struck me, What happened to your boyfie? You don sack am?

  14. No as in are you serious??? He had pictures???? WTH????

    I hear the same thing that naija girls are this and that and alot of people complain about it. I dont have 'girlfriends' so I wouldnt really know..

  15. just like not all men are players, not all women are gold diggers.
    there are some sisters that give us a bad name though. especially in yankee!

  16. You read it right of course: Mr. Gambia was trying what had worked for him in the past and if you had accepted those gifts happily, he would have had the impression that his modus operandi is the right one where (African) women are concerned.

    The problem is there are women who would have accepted (or expected) the gifts, just as there are many who would not. Perhaps he has just been in contact with more of the former. You may be the first of a new trend of woman for him!

    (Although, to be honest, why is a guy who met you yesterday already showering you with expensive gifts? I mean yes, you're fine of course but seriously? I'd feel like he was trying to buy me or something)

  17. Two problems I have with this post

    1. How do you pronounce 'Mschewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' I can't pronounce it.

    2. Next time, you berra give us a long post alert ooo.

    3. Gambia Boy & Naija Boy & both inconsequential idiots. lol. I cannot think of any other insult 4 them.

  18. gambia really stunned totally!!!

    i guess its the kind of girls he n the naija boy hav come across..but then..ahnahn!

    i dont even know what to say!

  19. This is nothing short of fantastic! Now, I hardly understand why some men would want to pay their way for a 'relationship', and why some girls play along with no intention of starting one, or even worse, use those criteria to start one. Whatever happened to chivalry?

  20. what can i say bout those two guys that hasnt been said..

    i hate guys like the gambian dude who think they can buy a so annoying...once i notice a dude is acting like that i cut him off immediately...did i tell him i was lacking anything...ewu!

  21. I sorta agree on naija women dating based on your worth. I just thought of it now 'cause I have these 2 girls that are all of a sudden chasing me and one is really chasing (even sendingmy friends to me). Funny thing is the chase began a week after they saw my new car and I've known these girls for years without them even acting like they see me.

    As for that Gambian idiot, the guy is a mumu. Which kind odensin move is that - pictures??? Please don't be attracting all these half brained stupidos o, your sting is too much for that.

  22. Yep a lot of Nigerian babes are on that gold digging P...but its pretty much a worldwide thing. Gosh nawa for that guy o! Showing you pics of his wardrobe.Razzness to the max! He sounds like a yahoo type of guy.

    Sting good on you that you dont have that clone like mentality.

    I hate it when guys try to buy you. V.annoying behavior as in what do they take us for?? Ok I've said enough.Au revioir.

    P.s- Love the extra bit added @ the

  23. lenie is cute!!

    lots of guys are full of shit...lots of girls are full of shit and the make the good ones look bad!!!!i pray to finally settle with someone who respects me and i respect not because of what the have but because of whats within!!!

  24. Sosorobia
    - is it a scent or a stench?

  25. Ok, Mr Gambia is definitely a dumbass! Picture ke! Of flat screen again! Na wa o! In this day and age, flat screen is still supposed to be shcking someborri, me i doesn't understood!

    But u harsh o, d guy give u perfume, you call am sosorobia. As for the purse, me i know i don't like LV or coach cuz like u said everyone and their mama does coach or LV but if it were an original Dior, i wld definitely have thot abt it.

    But yea, it defnitely puts me off when a guy thinks he can buy his way into ur pants\heart (whichever the case may be)

  26. Trust me I hear a lot of those crap and that's why i dont bother with certain low lifes...but its not just low lifes who think Nija girls are cuts across a wide spectrum. Their wahala really.

  27. *smh*...all these small boys sef. That is the most juvenile narnsense I've ever heard of.

  28. LMAO @ Which gold dis one get wey person wan dig. Dats so hilarious. Pls get this dude to loose ur no, he must be insecure…y else would he go out of his way to wave luxuries in ur face and prop himself?

  29. sting forever brutally honest..i love it mehn..sha some naija babes are gold me i know some that will spread their legs for dinner at cheesecake factory...its sad but true..however hold on to ur principles..ull be too im dreaming about the bf i dont


Hey guys, welcome to my blog. Sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!

  © Blogger template Writer's Blog by 2008

Back to TOP