Thursday, January 6, 2011

Expiration Date

Instead of studying this boring, boring, oh so boring stuff i have to study for school, as is common practice with me, I've been sitting here thinking. I mean, my thoughts are way more interesting than this crap in front of me but that's neither here nor there. After i have finished making mouth and stalling, i will still sit down and memorize the crap and know it like the back of my hand, Anyway, i digress.

So i've been thinking about the people who have come in and out of my life. Some of them make perfect sense and some of them don't. I remember when i was struggling to deal with a certain friendship issue, a friend pointed out to me that the person i was agonizing over might have played the role they were meant to play in my life and that their part in the story of my life was over. That was the only thing that made sense to me at the time and it's still the only thing that makes sense even now.

It just occured to me today that like most things, even friendships can have expiration dates. We can say "Oh, it's good for 7 days after its expiration date or at most 6 months after its expiration date".

Maybe......but use at your own risk.

I've learned that there are some things you can't force and one of those things is friendship. You can't force someone who has no interest in being your friend to be friends with you. You just become an irritant, pathetic and pretty much a loser. Yeah, i said it. You know when someone doesn't want to be friends with you, why force the issue? You can't hold on to something that's not meant to be. You can try but it usually never works out and things are way more messier than they would have been if you had just let go initially.

It's actually sad, but i've become so cynical about friendship especially with females. I do the best i can, satisfy my conscience and move on. People are interesting though, that much i can say. There are some people i am very happy to be rid off and there are others I wish things had turned out differently but i accept that our friendship expired and we both had to move on. I believe that true forever friends are extremely difficult to find. I can only think of two people who qualify and i haven't seen either of them since 2002. America hasn't been kind to me in the friendship department. My negative experience with people have left me very jaded and with very little tolerance for people.

Just because you hang out with someone doesn't make them your friend. Know that! A lot of people have no idea what that word means and they continue to hang out with snakes and rats all in the name of friendship. Be wise.

My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life. ~ Lee Iacocca



  2. Re: 'America hasn't been kind to me in the friendship department.'
    ....Oh dear!
    I do hope you will not become sooooo jaded that you lose the 'nice' part of you?
    I do empathise because I went through a phase where I lost faith in 'old friends'. However, the experience has made me realise who my real friends are.
    I now choose to be selective about who I spend time with - and that actually is better for me.
    saying that, I have met some incredible people who have surprised me with unexpected acts of kindness.
    I guess the key is to remain objective and constantly reassess who you spend time with! Happy new year

  3. my dear, help me tell them, friendship is not by force oh...the line is not so thin, because we are colleagues does not make us friends...etc

  4. So true! I say this time and time again! lol There are friends and there are FRIENDS. (IT'S NOT BY FORCE) Full-stop

  5. interesting post.
    Couple things:
    1 - where the heck do you get your pics from? love them as usual
    2 - "America hasnt been kind to me in that dept." I 100% agree with you there! Real friends are hard to find.
    3 - Your take on 'failed' friendships is a very interesting one. I always tell myself that when such things happen, more times than not, it is usually a two way street deal.


  6. @Ibhade: I'm glad it resonates with you.

    @Naijamum:I'm still nice but less tolerant of people i guess. Happy new year to you too!

    @bARoque: Amen to that.

    @CyberDiva: Na true you talk o.

    @Ebuks: I get my pictures from google. With the right search phrase, you can come up with some pretty good stuff. I agree, there's always two sides to every story but at the same time when you have a friend who is not receptive to you trying to fix things, what are you going to do?

  7. WOW thanks for sharing..very true.I believe true friends are not the ones close to you (environ) but the ones far away who you constantly communicate with and could be yourself with while you both appreciate each other.


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