Thursday, November 20, 2008

I need to think

I need to think, seriously. I'm freaking exhausted. I'm so tired i can't even get my thots in order. Thanks for the advice/suggestions i got on my previous post. I especially "enjoyed" Vera telling me to LIE! I haven't done anything about the situation. I did try to mention to New guy that there might be someone else, but that didn't play out very well.

As for Mr. Don't fall in love with me, i think i might just be setting myself up for future heart break. That dude doesn't know what he wants or maybe he does. He might just want to eat his cake and have it. He says he's with me (as in, we are together) yet, he doesn't do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. He thinks that label is too juvenile. He would rather say he's dating then eventually deal with a mother-in-law (he's words). So i'm like what's the difference between saying u r dating, and saying the chic is ur girlfriend?!!! I don't get it. It sounds like throat and neck to me.

That's not even the problem. This dude has determined that he wants to be with me but the relationship is going to end after i go to medical school. Why? Cos, he doesn't think a long distance relationship will work out. We'll grow apart, blah blah! So if u can already see into the future, why are u messing with me then? That's just setting me up for heart break and emotional stress right as i start med school. So i ask him, since u have determined that we don't have a future together, if i meet another dude that i like before i start med school, it will be cool with you if i start talking to him. He's like yeah, as long as you are not intimate with him cos that would be cheating. That's when i said, oh, you want to eat ur cake and have it. You want me until i go away. So i should ignore someone who likes me enough to want a relationship with me regardless of how far away i am in favor of u who has already seen the end of our relatiosnhip before we even start.

Of course he back pedals and says i'm misunderstanding him and he shouldn't have said it that way. He's with me and no one else and i have nothing to worry about on that level. He needs me to give it time and let's see how things go. Do i call bullshit on that one? I don't know. I told him i had a problem with him predicting the end of the relationship. The relationship might end tomorrow or b4 the start of next yr. Who knows. But for him to say we are going to grow apart after i get into med school, is saying he doesn't view this relationship as a potentially permanent thing. I did the dating for fun thing once, didn't work out too well for me. I would like someone who would be serious.

Way b4 we started have these types of discussions, one of my friends already told me not to get a boyfriend until i start med school cos there's no point. Then when i started talking to this dude, he told me to have fun and not try to put any label on it or make it a permanent thing. I think he has a point, but unfortunately for me, i'm already liking this dude. However, the good news i don't think i'm at the point of no return. I feel like withdrawing from this dude and not getting comfortable enough to become attached to him. I just can't let myself start thinking i'm in any sort of "serious" relationship. I've been down that road b4, and it's a disaster waiting to happen.


  1. "I feel like withdrawing from this dude and not getting comfortable enough to become attached to him"

    Babes,don't "feel like withdrawing"...withdraw!!!
    As in sharply at that...having said that,the choice is yours to make...all the best in whatever you decide to do...take care babes!

  2. good thing you have realised early what u got to do..and save ur self some emotional stress...

  3. both of you have a point.
    med school IS a relationship breaker, a whole lot of people in my class broke up in first year - except the people who were married, or had their bf in the same city.
    my relationship endured because my boyfriend was willing to make it work and was VERY supportive.

    If this dude already predicts that he wont be able to put effort into ur relationship once u get into med school, u can save urself the future heartbreak, or better still ride with the flow until u get in and you're too busy to suffer a heartbreak!

  4. this isnt sounding too good. Maybe u really shld withdraw...

  5. This dude is definately not ready to commit. He probably likes you but he does have some valid points. Theres no need getting into something that is doomed to fail, since he has already given you the termination of date of your relationship.
    Save yourself drama jare.

  6. I understand both of your points. Long distance thing is excruciatingly hard but it is doable if you both care to do it. If he isnt then, this thing is not worth it. You must have the discipline to choose yourself, and your peace of mind. Goodluck dearest and as always XOXO.

  7. Guys and drama, right? I try to avoid it when I'm not in the right place of mind for it. Cos trust me. It can drive you crazy. And if you're feeling that way, maybe you should just let it go for now. Focus on other things.

  8. its probably tru tht you'll drift when u go to med school, i mean we read long-distance-relationship blogs all the time, and they dont seem to be having fun. distrust creeps in, then ure lonely and someone else is giving u all the attention he can't...
    the fact that he's seen the end is unsettling, and maybe you should try to distance urself from this budding relationship?
    but the thing about that is that you'll still like him; so why end it before its time if it'll end anyway? you might as well enjoy it for as long as it lasts right?

    oh, and dating is like 'seeing someone', which i found out a few yrs ago, is not as serious as being in a relationship. i know right, these boys will do anything to avoid commitment!

    anyway, since ure not at the point of no return, you'll find a way to handle it that works best for you.
    good luck!

  9. whew..just caught up with the whole jist. He seems insecure and needs you to reassure him that thigs are going to be okay. Sometimes that's all it takes but then again you might have to keep "reassuring" him for the rest of your relationship. That insecurity is something he needs to work out on his won. It does seem that he is crazy 'bout you though. Thanks for that nice comment you left on Standtalls page. That was tres sweet of you!

  10. pls my dear if u have not reached the point of no return dont carry on bcos u dont want to die like me lol! U dont need baggage for med school! :)

  11. I dont think this guy is ready to get serious. He is already not willing to commit by shying away from the boyfriend/girlfriend 'label'. The relationship will only be more strained when u get to med school.

  12. Girlie, I think its best to do it now, though it can be hard. It will be harder if you have to do it later when your heart is seriously attached. Withdraw... if he likes you that much, he'll come for you.

  13. Somebody seems to be having commitment phobia fever. Abegi just run away from the dude.

  14. rational in your thinking girl, and be sure whatever decision you make you are happy with it.

  15. Sting!
    You're in something that has a definite end????
    Question: Why are you still there???
    Med school is tough enough, you don't need to go there with a broken heart or emotional stress!

  16. In your heart of hearts you do know what to do, if your gut is warning you off him, then follow long as you're truly happy with your decision!

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