Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Here's to the chicalas

I went out with my friends to have dinner on Sunday and we had a blast. I usually don't go out, so even though one of these chics lives like 5 minutes away from me, i haven't seen her in almost 4yrs. It's that bad. We had a friend come in from out of town, that one i hadn't seen in 9yrs, so there was no way i was going to get out of this. I'm glad i went though. Loud Nigerians that we are, we laughed for over 2hrs that we were there, speaking pidgin english and just talking about crazy guys. I had so much fun and it made me miss having close female friends like i did in naija. Oh well.

Because i'm too lazy to put up a proper post. I'm going to repost something i saw on my friend's FB page that resonated with me. Hope u girls like it.

Here's to all those girls who used to be his number one

The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning and be disappointed.

The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried
your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened.

Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going.

The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend,"
one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he "loves" and "misses you."

We deserve something, and this is our tribute.
Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.

We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him for a while.

We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again.

We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days.

Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so
desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early.

We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us.

We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.

Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today.

The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again.

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if".

Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again.

This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so."

The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.

We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave a crap about them.

Here's for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.

Here's for us girls who finally realized that we
deserve better. This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt. Remember the times you cried, and how long it
took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.

******When "your song" comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the crap he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to.*********

One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's gonna hurt like crap, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

This is for those girls, who fell back in love with their ex, only to
get hurt all over again.

2 all the girls who can relate....repost this.....repost this cause its true....its deep...its from the heart


  1. It sounds like you had an awesome time! In fact that makes me miss just hanging out with my single (or single for the night) friends.

  2. Oh! About the forward, pele o to the women who have gone through this—repeatedly! I've gone through a diluted form, but that was with guys I wasn't even really dating sef...I can't imagine how much more painful it is when it's someone you're in a relationship with. I know I'd probably be a wreck each and every time.

  3. I cant believe i'm almost crying.

    This post just hit very close to home and this is not even a recent r/ship i'm referring to.

    We will find the one who feels about us the way we feel about him/them. AMEN!!!

  4. Hey, to all the girls that feel like me, put your hands up.

    I'm one of them. I went back over and over again. I never knew my own capacity for pain until he tried it to the max.

    In a few years from now, he'll come calling again, all puppy eyes, armed with the memories we made together.

    I'll relish slamming the door and bruising his nose.

  5. Even though i put this post up, i have to comment on it. I just said down and re-read it and let it sink in, and i was that girl. I almost felt like crying just reading this again, cos i have been through a lot of that crap.

    Phone calls that never came through, those were the worst. I can totally relate to waking up in the middle of the night and checking my phone, but there was never any missed calls from him.

    I have been through shit. All those tears that i cried for guys who were not worth it. I would cry like there was no tomorrow. Person, no die but yet i would cry like i lost my whole family....because of a guy.

    As much as it hurt to go through that crap, i'm glad i did cos now i can spot those kinds of guys a mile away.

  6. Babe, nawa 4 you oh. U live five mins way and u didnt see her for four years???? Dang!!

  7. Oh! This is for the chicalas.

    *scurrying away*

  8. This is soo deep.
    Like the dedication tho. Lots of women go thru this 4 undeserving guys.

    We gotta be strong.

  9. While i haven't been through this. ican relate intimately with it cuz i'v seen it happen again and again. beautifully written. Here is the click of my glass

  10. Really sad.I have friends who have gone through this repeatedly&ive gone through a mild form.Painful i must say.We deserve better.

  11. Been thru it and came out on top. No regrets cos now I now how to deal with the kind described here.

    UR friend did a great job putting this together!

  12. and thanks for posting it too!!

  13. I'm sending this email to a special sum1 datz been rily heartbroken too many times in her love life...thankz babe

  14. Girl you just made me cry….

    and hate myself for a bit...

    I cant believe I was once that girl…

  15. This is so nice. I hope Chari, Weird gurl and who is that my new lady that broke up on blogville recently would read this.

    You are fantastic

  16. glad u had fun
    never been thru that but i feel u

  17. It's sad that most women go through this for guys who don't deserve it.
    Glad to know you had fun tho.

  18. This hit home for me...i am guilty of all the crimes above...but there is a God and i was pulled out of the misery i was dwelling in. I pray for the man who will wipe my tears instead.

    Wonderful post...have to share this with my friends.

  19. eeyaa..

    Hope u had copyrights to this bit sha...lol

  20. its good to get out sometimes and have fun!!

    whats up?? ohhh!!

    hope u didnt miss me too much!!

  21. hun i changed my blog addy o!
    i see u still hv my old one on ur blogroll... plz change it! thxxx

  22. Do you believe in jinxed triples. Like today, 08-08-08? Well, I never did but on second thought, maybe I do now. It was a nightmare today!

  23. read this some where but couldn't forward...maybe something about it makes it feel so hurtful...almost feel like u re-stabbing the readers with it's immense PAIN over and over again...i don't even know what say...this kinda thing just makes me :( been there, done it

    thnx for coming by shaa


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