Monday, May 26, 2008

Some thots

I was reading this post by jarrai (Oya, go and read it but make sure u come back o!) and that is what i've wanted to do for years and i've not been very successful at it. There are many times in my life where it was obvious that i needed to get rid of some people who were dead weight in my life but i just didn't have the heart to do it. I try but they keep coming back and can't just shut them out.

Last yr i wasted over 8 months of my life talking to this dude who i knew would never date, i wasn't attracted to him, he was a liar (I can't stand liars and this dude always tried to justify his lies by saying he didn't want to lose me). I finally stopped talking to him in november, only for this dude to call me on new year's day saying he wants to be friends with me and i just couldn't say no. Finally, guess who cut who out of their life? He did!! He just stopped talking to me one day and when i would call him he would never pick up. I wasn't even sure what was going on, until i figured out the idiot was ignoring me. When he didn't want to speak to me anymore he cut me off COMPLETELY. That's something i wanted to do for months and months but i couldn't cos i didn't want to hurt his feelings, at the end did he care about my feelings?

Same thing with my abusive ex. I knew from the first week that something wasn't right. By the end of the second week i was sure i shouldn't be with that type of person. Dude hung up on me just for contradicting him in the first week. The excuse was that he was stressed. I stuck with that nonsense for 3 months until he finally hit me.

Then there's my friend i talked about a couple of months ago, after a month of not speaking to each other she called me and the first thing out her mouth is "Did u miss me?". I was speechless. If it was up to me, i would not be friends with her ever again, just becos she doesn't accept me for who i am, she wants me to be the way she wants me to be and she acts like she knows everything. Not only that she's a jealous human being, i didn't know she was that kind of person until she made a comment regarding her best friends. She actually told me that if her best friend got married before her she would be very pissed. I was shocked. Why would u be pissed? She's only 24 but she refuses to look at wedding websites becos she doesn't have a boyfriend and she wants to get married so bad. What kind of thing is that? When one of my best friends got married in dec, i was beyond excited. I have already called dibs on being god-mother of her first child. Little stuff like that just made me know that she's not a good fit for me as a friend. So she called me this month, i didn't really want to talk to her but i did and i was so uncomfortable cos i felt fake. We talked 2 more times after that and i decided i didn't want to torture myself anymore. She has called me twice since and i didn't take the calls and i have felt so guilty about it ever since.

Now this stalker dude is another one i have to watch out for cos he's sneaky. I got an offline message asking me if i was still mad and if he could call me cos he misses me so bad. This was after i told him i never wanted to deal with him anymore. I guess he took that to mean, i need a break to cool off.

I need to learn how to completely cut people off without going back cos these pple don't need to be in my life. Deleting numbers doesn't work, i have a good memory. I guess i need to find it from within me to just let pple go.


  1. my first time here and i'm first?

    "am hot, am hot
    too hot..." lmao

    okay, i'll be back after securing my spot

  2. awww Sting, i see in u a very sweet person who definitely cant hurt a fly! which is very good in itself


    we have to learn to do spring cleaning like Jarrai did and not feel bad about it! seriously! it's ur life after all.

    i gave up a couple of friends last year, and it hurt real bad but i just HAD to do it. i believe in accepting people for who they are so i expect it.

    u'll be fine okay? so long as u know u did the right thing.

  3. I'm posting before reading the other blog but I'm thinking you'll just have to go with the ignore route until it becomes second nature, either that or tell the people you want out of your life in a respectful yet clear way that you cannot be friends with them and leave it at that. You shoudln't feel like you have to explain your decisions, but you can if you wish, with something like "This isn't right for me at this stage in my life."

    One thing that Dr. Phil says that I like is that we teach people how to treat us. If we give them an inch, they will take a mile.

    (this is totally a lesson to myself too)

  4. I totally understand how you feel towards your friend. I used to have a friend like that. It's quite sad. I feel people like that dont have enough self confidence/self esteem that's why they always feel everything is a competition.

  5. I guess the only question I have to ask is, why do you feel guilty about cutting these people out of your life? And here I thought you were a true scorpio? (lol) In all seriousness, these people add nothing to your sense of wellbeing, infact, they detract from it. Think about how you feel, not about them, because they sure as heck don't think about you.

  6. In the words of my dearest Keyshia Cole...

    If he dont treatt you the way he should then let him go

    The truth is that most people are jus not worth all the stress simple!

  7. Heya Sting :o)

    Just want to thank you first for reading my blog and for your comments, I appreciate it.

    I also didn't read the other blog, but as far as I can make out you are a really sweet person who is easily manipulated and intimidated.

    Friends tend to pick up on our weaknesses quite easily and that is always something you should look out for.

    There is never an easy way of turning your back on someone, not until you realise that it's for your own sake.

    If someone doesn't put a smile on your face, let that person go, because when the going get tough, that person will not wipe away your tears or even support you. It's called selfishness in short lol

    Take care

  8. As u said, u have 2 find it 4rm within u 2 let pple go.

    You don't want 2 hurt pple's feelings but in the end they hurt yours. i once saw this some where;
    "the nice girls always get the corner office not the big ones".

    There is no point being 9c to pple who don't deserve you.
    "So stop trying to get those who dont like u 2 like u. Instead give your time and love to those who like you".

    I pray 4 strength for you.

  9. Yup...time to use that lysol and do some cleaning.
    Let the fresh air in!!

  10. Honey boo...go ahead and just do what your heart tells you. I was at my wits end when i had to carry broom and clean off the negative people around was starting to affect my daily life and i just couldn't hack it anymore so cleaned i did.

    You are so sweet and nice....i can be miss nicey too contrary to popular belief!! lol. But i always say, if i treat you right i deserve the same..nothing less.

    You'll be ok, i can see you are fierce too under that cute demeanour.

    Thanks for the shout out...girl i feel famous lol lol xx

  11. repeat after me "I WILL NEVER EVER LET A MAN HIT ME".

    good girl, now go play with ur dolls!


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