I don't have a title, abeg.

What's up people? What's going on in the world of Sting?

• I wore a dress yesterday. I looked really good. Why have i not been wearing dresses all along? I need to stop being a tomboy. Girly girl might actually fit me better. Hmmmm.......
• I've really not been feeling too well. My pessimistic/dramatic side hopes I'm not dying. My more rational side tells me to stop being a drama queen. 
• I started a new blog - Sting's Food Diary. I need to track what goes in my body. I gained all the weight back. I knew all those cheesecakes were a bad idea. It's not an interactive blog cos i really just want to track my progress and off load whatever thots are in my head at the moment about weight loss and stuff.
• What!-the!-fuck!-is!-wrong!-with!-blogger! today? It keeps sending my cursor to weird spots. It's seriously messing up my typing flow cos i type pretty fast. Urghhh!!!!
• Oh, wanna hear how i sound? Put a voice to the blog? I'm co-hosting with Vera on Saturday. Don't know whether to be nervous or excited. We'll see how it goes. 
• Weird how i never knew the difference between being in love with someone and loving someone. Maybe i knew and forgot? I can't believe i didn't know. Well i think i do now. What's ur version of the difference? Pls, share with me. 
• I'm so weird. I'm excited someone is coming back from Nigeria, but this person is not even coming to where i am so i don't even get to see them. I'm still excited though and no, i'm not getting any gala back
• I'm trying to find an apartment in school and the apartment complex where i want to live is really nice but the managers are frustrating me. They don't return calls. It's so annoying. My friend is actually going over there to fill out an application for me since i never received the one that was sent in the mail. A good number of med students and doctors live there but there's no covered parking. I guess i will be shoveling snow like the rest of them this year. Sting and snow = Not friends. Sting and Cold = Enemies.
• I still feel like i've lost my voice so i'm slowly making my way back to blogging regularly. Don't know what is going on with me.
• I'm starting to get nervous about going back to school. The stress from last year was horrible and thinking about it is enough to send me into a panic attack. Only in medical school will you be crying because you are so tired from studying, yet you sit there in your tears as you are crying and continue to study. No joke. It wasn't just me. We all hug each other a lot because sometimes that's all you can do. I'm sure i will be a little better at handling the stress than i was last year. Knock on wood.
• I won for best personal blog. How cool is that?!! Thanks guys for voting for me. It meant a lot that i was even nominated for that category in the first place. Thanks. 

Enjoy the rest of the week Lovies. Let's hope i feel better tomorrow and I'm actually not dying. Lord Jesus, hear my prayer, i still have a good 70+ years left on this earth.

P.S. For reasons best  known to me cos I'm random like that, i want to give a big shout out to 2cute4u. I think you are a really nice person and you rock!  :)

Afflictions

Seriously, i think second only to menstrual cramps, the worst thing about being a woman is having to wear a bra! I would pay $100 for a perfect fitting bra. I have a couple that are 80-90% acceptable but none is or has ever been 100%. I refused to wear a bra until after secondary school. Well, truth be told i didn't need one. I was a 32A up until 2003-2004. Where this additional growth spurt is coming from, i don't know. This is not the once a month increase, neither am i pregnant (trust me. The last time i checked, my name wasn't Mary). I've always had a hate-hate relationship with bras anyway. The only time i wear them is when i'm stepping out the house. Well, since i've been living with my sister and her fiance, that is not feasible. Thank God for sports bras.

Sigh! I'm going to go back to nursing this headache i've had for the last two days and ponder why at this old age, my boobs have suddenly decided to grow some more. Next time i come back to this world, i definitely want to be a man until then i'm just going to pretend that i've never heard of childbirth, cos only God knows how i'm going to go through that one.

Introspection

To thine own self be true- William Shakespeare.

I've been on this journey of self-discovery for a long, long time and i've accepted that it is a life long journey. I remember when i was 16, i always used to ask myself who i was. I've also been a thinker and given to introspection a lot. There are times when i love myself, but a lot more times when i don't like myself and there are times when i hate myself. The way i see myself sometimes changes depending on the situation i'm in. I don't think that's a good thing. The concept of who i am at my core should be solid and no circumstance should be able to sway or change that.

Do I really know who I am?
Have i accepted and embraced all that i am?
Have i discovered and uncovered all that lies within?
Or do i sometimes wish to be something or someone i can never be?

As i continue on my journey through life, i promise to always be true to myself. To embrace the person that i am and love being me because no body else can be better at being me than i can. I will continue to be myself because for one thing, everybody else is taken.

I'm still trying to find a balance on a lot of things in my life. So i might need to separate, clear my head, re-group and come back. It might take a day or it might take a week, but it definitely won't be long. This blog remains my free therapy and my sanctuary. I'm thankful for that and i'm especially thankful for all my readers including the silent ones. I appreciate the support and love i get from blogsville.

In the mean time, you can find me on Blog(s)Ville Gist and i will be doing an interview for The Nigerian Blog Awards sometime this week. So watch out for that.

Saturday

I had a rough night yesterday but finally i'm at peace. I realize that i can't control everything and things don't always go according to plan but you just have to accept life and go with the flow.

With peace comes happiness. I'm happy and i'm enjoying every minute of it. I was sad for too long, and hope the rest of this year is filled with happiness for me cos 2010 started out by bitch slapping me.

My med school is too freaking strict. My friend's best friend at another med school which shall remain nameless has been failing. Yet, her school gives them chances to re-take exams and remediate stuff over the summer. I didn't even fail anything. It kinda of sucks. I still love my med school sha! I think it's a really good school, but they are too strict!

Remember this dude? He's still calling. Called again today. He is very persistent. I'm not understanding why he just won't give up. Like why?

I can breathe again!!

Overeaters anonymous (OA)

Shey i told you people i want to lose weight, abi? Well, let me tell you what someone who wants to lose weight has consumed today

Breakfast: Yogurt and almonds
Snack: Chocolate chic granola bar
Lunch: Potato Salad
More Lunch: Lasagne
Dinner: Rice, peas salad (Kidney beans, chick peas, corn, sweet peas, tuna and chicken breast) and Steak with bacon wrapped around it (i forgot the formal name for the thing)
Dessert: Royal fudge Ice cream.

I'm full! Tomorrow now i will be lamenting. I can't remember the last time i ate so much food in one day (unhealthy food for that matter). Shey when i see 158lbs on the scale tomorrow, i will be having heart palpitations, meanwhile na me put food for my mouth, nobody force me. I wasn't even that hungry when i was consuming all this food, neither was i bored. I just wanted to eat. Wahala dey o! As i dey type so, belle don full. I can barely breath.

Question of the day: When deciding to date someone, do you base your decision on how you FEEL about the person, the person's character, the person's interest in you or a combination of stuff? What if you have multiple toasters at the same time.... how do you decide on the final person. Would you be practical or go by how you feel?

Power ranger

Happy new month guys! I can't believe it's June already, this year is flying by. I'm not complaining though. I'm already looking forward to going back to school, although i'm not excited or anything because i know EXACTLY what is waiting for me when i get there. Last year i was so excited, Med school at last, blah blah blah..... I had no idea the "hell fire" that was waiting for me. I'm sure you will meet pple that'll tell u med school is a breeze and all that. Well, i've experienced it and it wasn't a breeze. It's the hardest thing i've ever done in my life. Working 2 jobs, 7 days a week did not prepare me for med school. I found it to be much harder because of the constant mental stress i was under. Thankfully, i found my balance by the end of the semester. I figured out how to study the multitude of information they expect you to know every last detail of *rolls eye*. So even though i am not EXCITED about going back, i'm looking forward to it. Hey, it's still my dream, i still can't imagine myself doing anything else. So i accept what happened as a bump in the road and i am ready to move forward.

So while everyone else was busy being productive on the first of June, I got into a fight. A stupid fight for that matter with one of my cousins. Ask me whether it was my fight o! It wasn't! This fight was solely on behalf of my younger sister. Ever since i can remember, i have been getting into fights for my siblings. I be their power ranger cos i know how to talk, and once i'm angry I really don't care who u are. My younger brother was small for his age and his twin sister liked to oppress him, i used to take up for him all the time. So my fights were not just limited to outsiders. Anyway, when it comes to someone that's not in my immediate family and you want to act anyhow to my sister, na there u jam rock.

The last time before yesterday i got into a fight cos of any of my siblings was in 2001. Some chic was behaving anyhow, i rushed there and got into the middle of the fight (it wasn't a physical fight o. I no sabi dey fight like agbero. Na mouth i dey use). Long story short, we won that fight but my sister was kind of wrong sha, but e no concern me. Fight first, ask questions later. Thankfully, we have been behaving ourselves over the last 9 years. 2 yrs ago when my sister went home to Nigeria, she had an issue with this said cousin. He was pretty much trying to keep tabs on her movement all the way from Lagos and she was in Abuja. We are not that close, so i think she found him intrusive and she doesn't have the patience that i do for relatives, so she stopped taking his calls and he got mighty offended.

When he complained to me, he said all sorts of things. I don't know if he forgot she was my sister cos he really mouthed off. The one that annoyed me was, "Is it because she's in America that she's behaving like she's better than everyone else. Well God will bring us to America one day". What does being in America have to do with anything? Abi, is America heaven? Make una tell me o. After all his ranting and raving, all i could say was, So if i offend you, that's how u'll be talking about me? See.....i behaved myself that time and didn't jump down his throat like i would have been inclined to in the past. I started looking at him funny though since that day. I no trust am, at all.

Fast forward to this year. He had started a *last name* group on facebook a while ago. When i joined the group, it wasn't a request to Join group. Last week, i was bored i went to the group, noticed that i had been made secretary of the group (whatever that means) and that we barely had any members and i have a lot of relatives on my page. So i invited all my siblings to join and a few cousins. 2 nights ago, my older sister that i stay with asked me what the group was for and told me it was a request to join group. She said she wasn't joining. Yesterday morning, my younger sister sends me a mail on facebook asking who the moderator of the group was cos her request to join had been denied and she noticed my younger brother and oldest sister just joined the group. So i told her it who the moderator was and decided to send him an email. He didn't respond, then i saw him on facebook chat in the evening and asked him about the email. He said he didn't get it. I asked him if he saw my sister's request to join the group and he said yes, he deleted it. I think the buzzing wires in my head just touched as soon as  i heard that.

Long story short, it degenerated into a mess. I told him he was being petty and if i knew he got to pick and chose who joins the group i never would have invited my sister to join. I told him i was going to leave the group because i wasn't going to be a part of his pettiness.This dude who is barely older than me was telling me he doesn't have time for little children who don't have respect for their elders. He brought the whole americanization crap into it and of course i gave him more than a piece of my mind. What is up with Nigerians and respect? Like seriously. Are you freaking kidding me? You want to act petty but expect me to respect you because you are a day older than me? That's some bullshit right there.

I left his stupid group thankfully before he had a chance to delete me like he threatened. I don't like that i fought with him over this. I don't necessarily like to fight but i can't stand pettiness. If you create a group for our family, who are you to pick and chose who gets to join? As far as i'm concerned as long as you are a part of the family, then u should be allowed to join. It was a really stupid fight, but one that i don't regret having. I'm glad i stuck up for my sister and she thanked me for sticking up for her too. Let's just hope we go another 10 or 20 yrs without me having to do this again.

So that's my power ranger story for the year. Hopefully.